Programming and graceful lessons

[Laurs]

Thank you Charade, what about these bankers, huh?
I am truly sorry that you find yourself in this mess with your father. I do think you are very fortunate to have this bond with your siblings. In the end yes, on a material level, it is time and funds that are spent but the lessons are all that matter. As long as we are conscious of that, we can take those challenges on our paths with a grain of salt, find humor in our situations and learn gracefully.
As for cosmic ways: indeed, sometimes it's literally in front of us, like the blindness of your father. Almost ironic. In my life so far I have found that there are many out there willing to play the role of mother, father, sister or brother, daughter or son besides biological bonds if we only look. And no, I do not think we are to know the lessons another has to learn. I think we can never know what goes on in someone else's head, their destiny or mission in this lifetime that we are conscious of. So it is also not for us to judge another. We can profile and protect ourselves but not judge. The thing I learned is to treat others how I would like to be treated but with healthy boundaries and without expectation. That setting of healthy boundaries is what I pick up from this. It's not the money or other material things. It is how we deal with persons or situations that give us knee jerk reactions, because those are opportunities for growth.
Good luck to you too

 

[lainey]

Hello Rudy, I don't have much to add but I wanted to say that I think you have made the right decision in refusing to lend your brother the money. To do so would only be enabling him to carry on in the same way, taking advantage of you and further facilitating his downward spiral that he seems to be on.
I'm sorry that you two have grown apart, it was good that you networked here about it and shared your thought processes about what was happening; it could help people in a similar situation who are struggling with similar issues.
Thanks for sharing.

 

[Charade]

Thank you Charade, what about these bankers, huh?
I am truly sorry that you find yourself in this mess with your father. I do think you are very fortunate to have this bond with your siblings. In the end yes, on a material level, it is time and funds that are spent but the lessons are all that matter. As long as we are conscious of that, we can take those challenges on our paths with a grain of salt, find humor in our situations and learn gracefully.
As for cosmic ways: indeed, sometimes it's literally in front of us, like the blindness of your father. Almost ironic. In my life so far I have found that there are many out there willing to play the role of mother, father, sister or brother, daughter or son besides biological bonds if we only look. And no, I do not think we are to know the lessons another has to learn. I think we can never know what goes on in someone else's head, their destiny or mission in this lifetime that we are conscious of. So it is also not for us to judge another. We can profile and protect ourselves but not judge. The thing I learned is to treat others how I would like to be treated but with healthy boundaries and without expectation. That setting of healthy boundaries is what I pick up from this. It's not the money or other material things. It is how we deal with persons or situations that give us knee jerk reactions, because those are opportunities for growth.
Good luck to you too

I sense, in your insightful reply, that you have the will and strength to do what is right in your situation. I am also glad that you could share your experiences here and have people to support you and know that it is not unique to you. I'm hoping the best for you. I think facing lifes challenges with knowledge and being honest with ourselves makes it possible to learn and grow from adversity.