SlipNet
The Living Force
I'm an insomniac so I often find myself mooching about on various threads on here late at night, and tonight is no different. But tonight I've been elevated by a little light humour on another thread. And it reminded me that mirth is part of how the universe reminds you how ludicrous both yourself and the world actually are/is. I spent a year of inner writing and journaling working on childhood memories from 1974-94. 20 long years of formative living to account for! It was well worth the effort too, and I found some great early poems and rock songs I wrote as a schoolkid. I laughed at my naivety on numerous occasions as well.
When William Blake wrote his Songs of Innocence/Experience, he was charting the life of a nascent esoteric soul. From green shoots of vitality and virility, naked and joyful, to a more rigid and orthodox adult mind, as the system tightens its grip on the analytical mind. Blake was a genius, and he was utterly fearless. He called YWH the devil straight out in his writings. And perhaps most pertinently he was possessed with a crafty wit too. How the soul blossoms, as much as decays, is captured in his work very well. We live, learn and grow as our interests guide us. Humour reminds me that I'm essentially a daft bugger with a daft sense of humour, and so are most of the people I know as well!
Knowing deep within the limits of one's understandings at the vanguard of knowledge, as we share on here, tends to lead me to think that the future will leave me "pissing blood" with laughter. My reasoning for that is related to my one and only psychedelic experience, on New Years Eve 1999, in the New Forest in England. It long facinated me as an idea, going on a Mind-Trip. I took one sub-lingual tablet of Mescaline that night. Just dipping my toes into the psychedelic experience.
I recall the night well, as I have pages of journal notes musing on the night's experience. I slyly eschewed a busy cottage party that night, and locked myself in my bedroom listening to The Stone Roses at high volume. I lay on my bed as peyote coursed through my brain. I began to see sparkles in the air, just small glints of light and colour. I laughed to myself as I marvelled at obvious home truths tumbled out of my subconscious. Breaking Into Heaven by The Roses blared out of my bassy stereo. I was laughing with some gusto. I knew I was ludicrous, and so was the wider world, even the universe itself? I began that day, as a young man, to ponder just how mysterious the universe truly is. From that day I began searching for truth in a committed way. Within 3 years I'd found Laura's work and was reading The Wave. As a Butterfly Effect/Sliding Doors moment, NYE 1999 stands up there as a pivotal point in my future trajectory as a nascent seeker. Back then I dared to dream big, and chose the cleverer path than most. And it's led to many insights, and answers to the most burning questions. I chose well that day. Pages of my journals can testify to my ceaseless searching for info from 1998-2004. It was a crucial time in my life where I paid my dues and did the diligent work without going too weirdo or nuts in my beliefs. And then of course in June 2004 I saw my one and only UFO and then suffered a nervous breakdown within a month.
I guess my fearless seeking met a strange force that I was only recently becoming fully aware of. This was not mere theory. This was the dark ineffable force that wanted to put me in my place! And duly it did. It's taken me 21 years to reach a full state of recovery in my mind. I can account for everything from 1974-2025 with paragraphs of data from my journals. I have volumes covering 4 epochs of life. They exist as my personal testament, my poetic works. All the lessons of my life are hidden in the written accounts in those journals. It's proven to be a most useful method of self-work since I took it up as a hobby/pastime back in 1993. Firstly, for years I looked backwards seeking to remember the past. Years of joy unbounded came back to me in a giddy rush! Then I satisfied myself with memories, and sought to define myself in the present and chart a course for the future. My plan was to become a writer. Well, I guess I am a 3 times published poet. I also wrote lyrics for a girlfriend's BA Hons Music degree final project album. I took the project seriously and committed vocals to the final dub mix. It was a dark, paranoid Drum n' Bass album made by a very gifted young woman. I was proud of what we put together that summer in 2001. So all I'm reflecting on at the moment is some degree of satisfaction that I have made the effort in self-work, while continuing to create in other areas too. Not really on the level I wish to be at, but at least heading in the right direction.
No weird happenings of late, and my dreams have been dull and listless. My waking hours? Intense, and busy. I'm reading lots these days in many genres. Plus I'm staying current with what's catching my eyes on here too. Trump is having a serious effect too I've noticed. Personally, I'm not a fan. I don't hate him like so many on the left do, but he disappoints me nevertheless. Every day I go on X and for 25 minutes I read of the latest deaths in Gaza. Murder, each and every day. I pray for justice each night. It never comes. But I'll go on praying just the same every night, until someone or something, hears my prayers and decides it's time we mobalise as people of conscience and change the dire trajectory of the west towards a just and peaceful future of intelligence and enterprise. That's where I'm at at the moment. I'm working on a book charting my life and mental health struggles, and it's going well. Much of it has been covered on this thread but there's also some spicy details too personal for me to want to share on here. Suffice to say, my life has transformed dramatically between the ages of 29-50. 21 years of journal writing covers this period too. It's proven to be my most crucial discovery in life. My commitment to the work is now rock-solid. And, having gone back to my roots in order to heal and understand myself, I am working from a solid foundation, something I can rely on.
I am ready for the future challenges this uncertain world will be throwing at me in the times to come. I've lived through the computer age, and now we have the dangers and benefits of AI. So much has been written and said about Agenda 2030 so I'll only say that our elites know full well the gist of what is coming and slyly they have been preparing for some time. We're left in the lurch, I only have 1 week's worth of food in the fridge and about 6 months' worth of tinned food. Tomato sauces, sausages, beans, spaghetti, curries, chillis. At least it's a start.
I think I need to come up with a kind of summary for the 6 pages or so of musings I've put together on this thread. That will have to wait for another day however, my mind is tired and the hour is late where I am here in west Wales. I've improved as a thinker for doing this thread. It made me think critically about entries in my journals, and I became a decent editor of information. Plus I know how to tell a tale!
My old junior school headteacher told me when I was 11 that I had a way with words and that I should keep my head down and work hard. I never did, until recently. I hit rock bottom in 2004, and spent 21 years slowly getting back up to par. And true healing. That took effort, and time. I'm thankful for the days and nights of suffering I went through, because I "found" myself in those moments of despair. There was a clear, ringing sound. The signal amongst the noise. I was there, and I was going to bear witness to all that I was going through. Suffice to say it's been well worth the effort. I'm stronger now as a man than I'd have ever dreamed possible say in 1996. I've been to schizophrenic Hell and back, and not only am I here to tell the tale, but I've got my checklist of Karmic & Simple lessons jotted down for regular self-help checks every few years.
It will be interesting discovering what life throws at me next....until then I'll spark a Cig, and give thanks that where I live life is good, and all is peaceful. And that's something to be grateful for.
When William Blake wrote his Songs of Innocence/Experience, he was charting the life of a nascent esoteric soul. From green shoots of vitality and virility, naked and joyful, to a more rigid and orthodox adult mind, as the system tightens its grip on the analytical mind. Blake was a genius, and he was utterly fearless. He called YWH the devil straight out in his writings. And perhaps most pertinently he was possessed with a crafty wit too. How the soul blossoms, as much as decays, is captured in his work very well. We live, learn and grow as our interests guide us. Humour reminds me that I'm essentially a daft bugger with a daft sense of humour, and so are most of the people I know as well!
Knowing deep within the limits of one's understandings at the vanguard of knowledge, as we share on here, tends to lead me to think that the future will leave me "pissing blood" with laughter. My reasoning for that is related to my one and only psychedelic experience, on New Years Eve 1999, in the New Forest in England. It long facinated me as an idea, going on a Mind-Trip. I took one sub-lingual tablet of Mescaline that night. Just dipping my toes into the psychedelic experience.I recall the night well, as I have pages of journal notes musing on the night's experience. I slyly eschewed a busy cottage party that night, and locked myself in my bedroom listening to The Stone Roses at high volume. I lay on my bed as peyote coursed through my brain. I began to see sparkles in the air, just small glints of light and colour. I laughed to myself as I marvelled at obvious home truths tumbled out of my subconscious. Breaking Into Heaven by The Roses blared out of my bassy stereo. I was laughing with some gusto. I knew I was ludicrous, and so was the wider world, even the universe itself? I began that day, as a young man, to ponder just how mysterious the universe truly is. From that day I began searching for truth in a committed way. Within 3 years I'd found Laura's work and was reading The Wave. As a Butterfly Effect/Sliding Doors moment, NYE 1999 stands up there as a pivotal point in my future trajectory as a nascent seeker. Back then I dared to dream big, and chose the cleverer path than most. And it's led to many insights, and answers to the most burning questions. I chose well that day. Pages of my journals can testify to my ceaseless searching for info from 1998-2004. It was a crucial time in my life where I paid my dues and did the diligent work without going too weirdo or nuts in my beliefs. And then of course in June 2004 I saw my one and only UFO and then suffered a nervous breakdown within a month.
I guess my fearless seeking met a strange force that I was only recently becoming fully aware of. This was not mere theory. This was the dark ineffable force that wanted to put me in my place! And duly it did. It's taken me 21 years to reach a full state of recovery in my mind. I can account for everything from 1974-2025 with paragraphs of data from my journals. I have volumes covering 4 epochs of life. They exist as my personal testament, my poetic works. All the lessons of my life are hidden in the written accounts in those journals. It's proven to be a most useful method of self-work since I took it up as a hobby/pastime back in 1993. Firstly, for years I looked backwards seeking to remember the past. Years of joy unbounded came back to me in a giddy rush! Then I satisfied myself with memories, and sought to define myself in the present and chart a course for the future. My plan was to become a writer. Well, I guess I am a 3 times published poet. I also wrote lyrics for a girlfriend's BA Hons Music degree final project album. I took the project seriously and committed vocals to the final dub mix. It was a dark, paranoid Drum n' Bass album made by a very gifted young woman. I was proud of what we put together that summer in 2001. So all I'm reflecting on at the moment is some degree of satisfaction that I have made the effort in self-work, while continuing to create in other areas too. Not really on the level I wish to be at, but at least heading in the right direction.
No weird happenings of late, and my dreams have been dull and listless. My waking hours? Intense, and busy. I'm reading lots these days in many genres. Plus I'm staying current with what's catching my eyes on here too. Trump is having a serious effect too I've noticed. Personally, I'm not a fan. I don't hate him like so many on the left do, but he disappoints me nevertheless. Every day I go on X and for 25 minutes I read of the latest deaths in Gaza. Murder, each and every day. I pray for justice each night. It never comes. But I'll go on praying just the same every night, until someone or something, hears my prayers and decides it's time we mobalise as people of conscience and change the dire trajectory of the west towards a just and peaceful future of intelligence and enterprise. That's where I'm at at the moment. I'm working on a book charting my life and mental health struggles, and it's going well. Much of it has been covered on this thread but there's also some spicy details too personal for me to want to share on here. Suffice to say, my life has transformed dramatically between the ages of 29-50. 21 years of journal writing covers this period too. It's proven to be my most crucial discovery in life. My commitment to the work is now rock-solid. And, having gone back to my roots in order to heal and understand myself, I am working from a solid foundation, something I can rely on.
I am ready for the future challenges this uncertain world will be throwing at me in the times to come. I've lived through the computer age, and now we have the dangers and benefits of AI. So much has been written and said about Agenda 2030 so I'll only say that our elites know full well the gist of what is coming and slyly they have been preparing for some time. We're left in the lurch, I only have 1 week's worth of food in the fridge and about 6 months' worth of tinned food. Tomato sauces, sausages, beans, spaghetti, curries, chillis. At least it's a start.
I think I need to come up with a kind of summary for the 6 pages or so of musings I've put together on this thread. That will have to wait for another day however, my mind is tired and the hour is late where I am here in west Wales. I've improved as a thinker for doing this thread. It made me think critically about entries in my journals, and I became a decent editor of information. Plus I know how to tell a tale!
My old junior school headteacher told me when I was 11 that I had a way with words and that I should keep my head down and work hard. I never did, until recently. I hit rock bottom in 2004, and spent 21 years slowly getting back up to par. And true healing. That took effort, and time. I'm thankful for the days and nights of suffering I went through, because I "found" myself in those moments of despair. There was a clear, ringing sound. The signal amongst the noise. I was there, and I was going to bear witness to all that I was going through. Suffice to say it's been well worth the effort. I'm stronger now as a man than I'd have ever dreamed possible say in 1996. I've been to schizophrenic Hell and back, and not only am I here to tell the tale, but I've got my checklist of Karmic & Simple lessons jotted down for regular self-help checks every few years.It will be interesting discovering what life throws at me next....until then I'll spark a Cig, and give thanks that where I live life is good, and all is peaceful. And that's something to be grateful for.
