Romantic Fiction, Reality Shaping and The Work

thorbiorn

The Living Force
FOTCM Member
As Joe mentioned earlier on this thread those of us who are reading the romance novels may be able to SEE much more deeply what is being delivered through the stories thanks to the hard work done here by Laura, by our community in general and thanks to the constant assistance of the C's.
And as one reads more books and encounters more characters and plots resonating with different experiences, one will read subsequent books from progressively new perspectives. One illustration that may capture this development is the hermeneutic circle. In a short article by Anne-Laure Le Cunff one finds this illustration:
hermeneutic-circle-banner.jpg

While this can be true when moving from one book to another, it is also meaningful for describing the process of reading a single text. Below the above figure the author explains:
When we first read a text—whether a book, a research paper, or a blog post—we form an initial understanding. As we progress through the text, we keep on evaluating this initial understanding based on the new knowledge brought by the text as it unfolds. This new knowledge will form the basis of a new understanding, which will change our personal context in terms of beliefs and expectations. In turn, the new context will inform the way we interpret the text.
 

primeaddict

Jedi Council Member
FOTCM Member
I had an intense sense of dread while reading Anna Campbell’s The Highlander’s Forbidden Mistress. This story was mostly about the steamy sex and less about character development. My sense of dread was the impending shame that was inevitable. My deeper analysis of the reaction to the story was an intense fear of humiliation. Selina’s reputation and future were being destroyed by her wanton behavior. She had previously lived a life of lady of high moral character.

My great teachers are humiliation, hunger, pain, poverty, loneliness, depression, and death. From these experiences come intense growth. My memories of humiliation during catholic elementary school had caused intense aversion towards it. This story was strumming that fear. The story had a happy ending, but I suspect in real life it would have been a total train wreck for Selina. She would have lost everything that she worked so hard for. I dreaded the humiliation that she would have had.
 

primeaddict

Jedi Council Member
FOTCM Member
I was talking to some people about the novels the other day, and it occurred to me that one of the reasons why doing the Work is difficult, and sorting out our emotions and past experiences more so, could be because, like many things in nature, the latter are "fractal-like". And that's why reading so many of these books is good, because each one can show is a small part of the fractal emotional landscape and our lessons. Some experienced directly, some not but their meaning still connected.

This might also explains insights and processing such as what Andrian wrote:



I've noticed that one novel may trigger a memory, and a particular emotion attached to it. Say, guilt. Then the next novel will also trigger that memory, but a lot of sadness will come up. Then another one, and it's more self-hatred. And so on. It's like looking at some of those experiences as a multi-dimensional lesson, not just a simple A+B = C. And often, one experience will suddenly be connected to something unrelated, as if there was an invisible thread that links it to something that feels more like a past life, or "potential lessons".

I hope I managed to explain what it feels like a bit. At least for me, it explains why, even though so many stories are similar plots, they each contain a gem that reaches deep.

During the time when we read psychology books (Trapped in the mirror, The narcissistic family, the criminal mind, etc.), I was always puzzled by how "theoretical" it all remained, in spite of having had many "aha moments", tried to change core beliefs, etc. Now I think I see partly why: They show one potential root of the problem, not the whole "fractal". They only address some issues, not the overall picture, things we can't even access fully with our conscious mind. That said, I appreciate them even more now, with more concrete examples from the novels, so they seem to work in complementary ways.

My 2 cents!
More like 4 cents:lol: Thanks for the insightful analysis of the accumulative affects of this project.
 

Lukasz

Jedi
I finished the Merridew series and I think it was some kind of a milestone for me. The second book, The perfect Waltz, stirred a great deal of emotion. None other book made me cry so much, and yet it felt so wonderful to read. It became my favorite book alongside Silent Melody.

Despite that all four books felt really positive and gave me a lot of joy, after finishing the series I felt quite bad psychically. Very sad and without hope. So, I decided to take a short break before starting another novel.

One thought I was battling at that time was: "If I had a chance to read these books 10 years ago, how much more I would manage to achieve in life?" But today I finally felt better and I know that everything is as it should be.

I think of these romance novels as great teachers of life. After reading 24 of them I begin to realize that I have much to catch up in my life. Another thought I had was that I probably never had a good role model present during my youth.

I also started to wonder more about the notion of family and how the proper one should look like. My family always seemed to me as a good one. Quite peaceful, kind, helpful etc. but I never really had a chance to compare. My parents are not very social people and so I am not in consequence also.

When I read these books and see what is possible, my family started to look as a bit dysfunctional, with a huge lack of communication. It's a sad realization but at least now I'm starting to see the reasons behind it and what I can do to try to improve things for the better.
 

flashgordonv

Dagobah Resident
FOTCM Member
I have just finished reading the web series. Of all the books I have read so far, I found these have stirred the most emotion. Up until now, I have just been enjoying the reading without particularly being stirred by anything in particular. But these books have been like going through an earthquake.

My father, who according to his family was originally a friendly gregarious sort of guy, went off the WW2 and ended up in Changi prison camp for 3 years. When he came back he was a changed man. Silent, moody, non empathetic with a tendency to sternness and anger. And that was the father I knew. I realised that in all my growing years, I cannot remember him ever playing with me or my sisters, never remember him hugging me, or showing any affection. What I can remember was that I did not meet with his approval. He was an engineer and a handyman, very practical person. And when I tried some woodworking under his stern eye, I was hopeless. Couldn't saw a straight line, couldn't hammer a nail straight, hopeless at attempting dovetail joints. I was a disappointment. I can't help feeling that if I had been more handy, we might have had a different relationship. But I wasn't and we didn't.

At school I tried to play rugby but was at a huge disadvantage because I had no clue about the game or the rules. He had no interest in sport, be it cricket or rugby. He never came to any of the games I played in. I was enrolled in cubs and boy scouts, he never attended any of the events or helped out. The ironic thing was that after I finished with scouting he ended up being a District Commissioner, but while I was in scouts, he showed no interest at all.

He was into electronics too, used to sit down in his workroom ever night fiddling with projects, but there I was a disappointment too as I was too scatty to sit down and learn what he was doing.

When I think back on my interaction with him, I remember being told I was a silly little boy, or being spanked. He only had harsh words, and I must be honest, I was probably a bit of a clumsy klutz.

Having said that, when I left home and got myself into a spot of bother with the law, rather than leaving me to fend for myself, he fronted up, paid for a lawyer and got me off with probation and no conviction - albeit telling me agins that I was an idiot (which in this case was true).

As I read these books I was amazed at the number of memories that came flooding back from my childhood and my youth. And when I look at the entire picture I realise he was just a guy trying to do the best with what he had been dealt. Long after i left home and got married the first time, he met a quiet Dutch Indonesian lady, fell in love and married her. She as a Pentecostal so not long after so was he. And he stayed one until he died. I remember being shocked at his funeral, held at the local church and run by his minister. All these people got up to speak about him, what a wonderful, caring, loving guy he was how much good he did in the church community and how much they would miss him and his quiet humour. At one stage I checked with my sister to make sure we were at the right funeral. The person they were describing was nobody we knew. I console myself that in his later years with a loving partner he was able to more express his emotions, at least to the other people in his church community.
 

hlat

The Living Force
FOTCM Member
I remember being shocked at his funeral, held at the local church and run by his minister. All these people got up to speak about him, what a wonderful, caring, loving guy he was how much good he did in the church community and how much they would miss him and his quiet humour. At one stage I checked with my sister to make sure we were at the right funeral. The person they were describing was nobody we knew. I console myself that in his later years with a loving partner he was able to more express his emotions, at least to the other people in his church community.
This happens a lot. In one variation of this, a dad or mom will be wonderful and helpful to friends and neighbors, but be abusive, neglectful, and cold towards the children and spouse. Sometimes these will be narcissists who regard their family as extensions of themselves.
 

PERLOU

The Living Force
FOTCM Member
Modérateur merci de supprimer mon dernier message suite à une erreur de ma part... Merci d'avance...
J'attends que CHU annule la surveillance de mes messages comme déjà demandé par mail...
Je n'e peux envoyé ni répondre aux messages privés et ne peut annuler mes propres messages... Merci

Moderator thank you for deleting my last post due to an error on my part... Thanks in advance...
I am waiting for CHU to cancel the monitoring of my messages as already requested by mail...
I can't send nor answer to private messages and can't cancel my own messages... Thanks
 

dennis

Jedi
In I believe the 4th survivor series book there was a quote "there is something very special about the waltz"

There are many references to a sliding or gliding dance that would evolve into the waltz that date from 16th century Europe, including the representations of the printmaker Hans Sebald Beham. The French philosopher Michel de Montaigne wrote of a dance he saw in 1580 in Augsburg, where the dancers held each other so closely that their faces touched. Kunz Haas (of approximately the same period) wrote, "Now they are dancing the godless Weller or Spinner."[1] "The vigorous peasant dancer, following an instinctive knowledge of the weight of fall, uses his surplus energy to press all his strength into the proper beat of the bar, thus intensifying his personal enjoyment in dancing."[1] Around 1750, the lower classes in the regions of Bavaria, Tyrol, and Styria began dancing a couples dance called Walzer.[2] The Ländler, also known as the Schleifer, a country dance in 3
4
time, was popular in Bohemia, Austria, and Bavaria, and spread from the countryside to the suburbs of the city. While the eighteenth century upper classes continued to dance the minuets (such as those by Mozart, Haydn and Handel), bored noblemen slipped away to the balls of their servants.[3]
....
It became fashionable in Britain during the Regency period, having been made respectable by the endorsement of Dorothea Lieven, wife of the Russian ambassador.[11] Diarist Thomas Raikes later recounted that "No event ever produced so great a sensation in English society as the introduction of the waltz in 1813."[12] In the same year, a sardonic tribute to the dance by Lord Byron was anonymously published (written the previous autumn).[13][14] Influential dance master and author of instruction manuals, Thomas Wilson published A Description of the Correct Method of Waltzing in 1816.[15] Almack's, the most exclusive club in London, permitted the waltz, though the entry in the Oxford English Dictionary shows that it was considered "riotous and indecent" as late as 1825. In The Tenant of Wildfell Hall, by Anne Brontë, in a scene set in 1827, the local vicar Reverend Milward tolerates quadrilles and country dances but intervenes decisively when a waltz is called for, declaring "No, no, I don't allow that! Come, it's time to be going home."[16]
 

PERLOU

The Living Force
FOTCM Member
J'ai terminé "Le Pari du Péché" de Caroline Lindern - Tome 1
Je commence "Le Prince Charmant Existe-t-il" de Caroline Linden - Tome 2

J'ai terminé "The Sinful Bet" de Caroline Lindern - Volume 1
Je commence "Does Prince Charming Exist" de Caroline Linden - Volume 2
 

seek10

The Living Force
FOTCM Member
SEEK 10, in the books of Madeline HUNTER, Series "Les Séducteurs" in French and unless I am mistaken:
Volume 1 The Master of Seduction and not deception and seduction
Volume 2 The worst of the Adversaries
Volume 3 Such a Pretty Flower
The Manuscript of Dishonor (without volume number)
N° 211 The Sins of Lord Easterbrook is not translated in French to my knowledge
I am not sure where you got these books @PERLOU . I couldn't find them any where. Please share the website link so that I can check

For all the translated book names, please submit the form.
 

PERLOU

The Living Force
FOTCM Member
SEEK10, désolée, ne tenez pas compte de mon message, j'avais demandé à un modérateur de le supprimer mais cela n'a pas été fait...

SEEK10, sorry, please disregard my message, I had asked a moderator to delete it but it was not done...
 

flashgordonv

Dagobah Resident
FOTCM Member
Well, you certainly have a great sense of humor! I take it he didn't appreciate that either?

This happens a lot. In one variation of this, a dad or mom will be wonderful and helpful to friends and neighbors, but be abusive, neglectful, and cold towards the children and spouse. Sometimes these will be narcissists who regard their family as extensions of themselves.

No, I don't believe he was a psychopath or a narcissist. He was a badly damaged individual. He struggled living with my mother, as we all did, as she also was damaged, although in her case it appears she suffered mentally due to slight brain damage from a malfunction during an operation when she was in her late teens. She was a hard lady to love and she also did not give love. But after they were divorced and Dad met Marie I think he found a kindred soul. She had suffered through the Japanese occupation of Indonesia and could probably understand some of what he went through in Changi, plus she was a very loving and caring woman. And maybe that ability in her helped him in the healing process somewhat. I had moved away to NZ by the time he and Marie got together so I observed this all from a distance
 
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