Hi all,
I have just finished the second book in the Horsemen Trilogy by Mary Balogh, Unforgiven. at first I felt it was moving too fast, it's an intense book for reasons I will discuss in the spoiler section, but as per usual very satisfying read, very moving and without mentioning how entertaining and funny it is. I will now move on to the third one :)
Thanks for reading.
I have just finished the second book in the Horsemen Trilogy by Mary Balogh, Unforgiven. at first I felt it was moving too fast, it's an intense book for reasons I will discuss in the spoiler section, but as per usual very satisfying read, very moving and without mentioning how entertaining and funny it is. I will now move on to the third one :)
This was an unexpectedly intense narrative, the story centers around Ken and Moira, who are part of families who have had conflicts for generations and the intensity of their guilt and resentment towards one another really shows in the way one experiences the story. It can become quite stressful to go through I found. Something I particularly liked is that the story doesn't have a conflict that builds up in stress to simply resolve at the end in a very satisfying, yet empty, way, even though the conflict does resolve satisfactorily. And I think that's one of the take aways from the story, not a blissful happily ever after, but a real relationship with oneself and a loved one that will be filled with quarrel, disagreements and pain even, but that is better than a fake happy marriage, or a cold resentful distant acquaintance.
The story really does a wonderful job depicting how simple it is to allow our emotions to take over our words and behavior, and how that can work against us, always works against us. Moira is a strong and independent woman who holds on to her resentment to such a degree, that she denies being with child to Ken, the father, and even though it is not clearly stated as such, this denial and the stress it causes, leads to a miscarriage.
That was, in my opinion, a viscerally painful, moving yet accurate depiction of what we sacrifice when we allow these unresolved emotions within us to continue to rule us, we sacrifice the best version of us, the most tender and most valuable parts of our selves. The parts of ourselves that are filled with potential for creativity and love, the parts of ourselves that can truly bring about change in our lives. it is rather tragic when the baby dies, even though there's no show of love or affection for him, but Moira and Ken recognize the magnitude of the loss.
The other aspect of it was that the baby was conceived by accident so to speak, as they both tried to shield themselves from the cold, and I know that seems a bit far fetched, but I think it does the ideas justice. The other idea one may extract from that analogy is that, without full commitment to a cause, be it whatever it may be, the potential withers and dies.
This causes a lot of stress and resentment between them that is built upon their existing family feud, it also leads them to a marriage of convenience and both of them being rather hard headed and strong individuals with a fully developed independence, it breeds destructive conflict nourished with pride, lies, and the wrong assumptions about the other. All the while sacrificing their own joy.
Through this conflict, the concept of honesty with oneself, of doing what is right despite the consequences, and of growing from independence to interdependence is wonderfully explored, particularly this last one.
I really liked one of the quotes that Moira says at some point, this is something that I've struggled with personally, she says something along the lines of, loving isn't only about giving, it's also about accepting the love that is given. Accept the worry, the concern and the fact that it also comes with a responsibility on their end, it may hurt our idea of independence, but that is the price to be part of something larger than the lone individual.
And I think that is interdependence in one quote, it's not just about what you already know you can accomplish on your own, what you know you can do and give to the object of your affection. But are you mature enough to accept that you need it too? and even if you don't need it, can you accept it, as lovingly as it is being given?
It made me think that, how many of us have a hard time accepting help? or even asking for it because "I can handle it, I don't need it" and I mean when we really need it? how much has pride, resentment (and this is also explored in the book) made our lives miserable and even made us act in exactly the opposite way to our wishes?
I know this concept has been explored in the book of the 7 Habits of highly effective individuals, it takes a further level of development of maturity and independence, to bring oneself to a humble acceptance of the loss of certain liberties, for the goal of attaining a larger goal. And this applies to most aspects of our lives, not only romantic relationships.
It also reminded me of this idea of the Hero and the King archetypes. The hero archetype is associated with adolescence, the drive to break away from rules and find oneself, but the Hero grows then to become the King, who after breaking from the rules, finds his way and then continues his growth as a king, with a queen and kingdom, therefore back under a new set of rules. Some incompatible with the life of the Hero, but consciously chosen for the good of all in the realm, including himself. It's the passage from adolescence (independence) to adulthood (interdependence).
The story really does a wonderful job depicting how simple it is to allow our emotions to take over our words and behavior, and how that can work against us, always works against us. Moira is a strong and independent woman who holds on to her resentment to such a degree, that she denies being with child to Ken, the father, and even though it is not clearly stated as such, this denial and the stress it causes, leads to a miscarriage.
That was, in my opinion, a viscerally painful, moving yet accurate depiction of what we sacrifice when we allow these unresolved emotions within us to continue to rule us, we sacrifice the best version of us, the most tender and most valuable parts of our selves. The parts of ourselves that are filled with potential for creativity and love, the parts of ourselves that can truly bring about change in our lives. it is rather tragic when the baby dies, even though there's no show of love or affection for him, but Moira and Ken recognize the magnitude of the loss.
The other aspect of it was that the baby was conceived by accident so to speak, as they both tried to shield themselves from the cold, and I know that seems a bit far fetched, but I think it does the ideas justice. The other idea one may extract from that analogy is that, without full commitment to a cause, be it whatever it may be, the potential withers and dies.
This causes a lot of stress and resentment between them that is built upon their existing family feud, it also leads them to a marriage of convenience and both of them being rather hard headed and strong individuals with a fully developed independence, it breeds destructive conflict nourished with pride, lies, and the wrong assumptions about the other. All the while sacrificing their own joy.
Through this conflict, the concept of honesty with oneself, of doing what is right despite the consequences, and of growing from independence to interdependence is wonderfully explored, particularly this last one.
I really liked one of the quotes that Moira says at some point, this is something that I've struggled with personally, she says something along the lines of, loving isn't only about giving, it's also about accepting the love that is given. Accept the worry, the concern and the fact that it also comes with a responsibility on their end, it may hurt our idea of independence, but that is the price to be part of something larger than the lone individual.
And I think that is interdependence in one quote, it's not just about what you already know you can accomplish on your own, what you know you can do and give to the object of your affection. But are you mature enough to accept that you need it too? and even if you don't need it, can you accept it, as lovingly as it is being given?
It made me think that, how many of us have a hard time accepting help? or even asking for it because "I can handle it, I don't need it" and I mean when we really need it? how much has pride, resentment (and this is also explored in the book) made our lives miserable and even made us act in exactly the opposite way to our wishes?
I know this concept has been explored in the book of the 7 Habits of highly effective individuals, it takes a further level of development of maturity and independence, to bring oneself to a humble acceptance of the loss of certain liberties, for the goal of attaining a larger goal. And this applies to most aspects of our lives, not only romantic relationships.
It also reminded me of this idea of the Hero and the King archetypes. The hero archetype is associated with adolescence, the drive to break away from rules and find oneself, but the Hero grows then to become the King, who after breaking from the rules, finds his way and then continues his growth as a king, with a queen and kingdom, therefore back under a new set of rules. Some incompatible with the life of the Hero, but consciously chosen for the good of all in the realm, including himself. It's the passage from adolescence (independence) to adulthood (interdependence).
Thanks for reading.
And I am putting all my comments in the spoiler section.
)
But then on the other hand, one could also speculate that despite him not being consciously in touch with his emotions, he obviously (or one would hope) wouldn't propose a marrage just to anyone. 
, interesting characters, some nice sex scenes but not the Cambellian descriptions and repetitions. All in all, a good old romance story. Looking forward to finding out what happened to Elisa!
