Romantic Fiction, Reality Shaping and The Work

[genero81]

Well, I guess if it's going to take hundreds of books, I better step it up! lol We're reading Tocqueville's 'Democracy in America' for ISGN. I'm on volume two. 1375 pages altogether, but well worth it IMO.

I was actually going to write a post here about how karmic and simple understandings are most likely all along the lines of what's in these books. (romance) So many nuances of how we make choices along the two pathways and the repercussions of those choices that get played out through relationships. The fact that this 3D reality is the focal point for all of the stuff that goes on at higher levels. The battle is through us and all. Maybe we can see what the C's were getting at above? It's just a matter of changing perspective. We are the players on the stage. How will things 'play' out in accordance with who we are and what we see? In accordance with how well we can learn our lessons in advance? Exciting yet terrifying, all things considered. If we wanted an adventure, I guess we got it!

 

[NewEngland Seeker]

I found that one, too, Gandalf, But, while listening to it, I saw something else in the sidebar of videos. One was of a young Ukrainian girl named Sofia Shkidcnenko. She's a yodeler. So if you don't like yodeling, no need to listen to this one:

I love it! It is so joyful! Such joyful feelings expressed and felt by the audience.

Here is Slim Whitman's version. He kicks it up 3 octaves giving the song a added effect of flying.

Now, what seems important to me is this: we've also been told that "karmic and simple understandings" are the things we most need to learn to graduate from 3rd Density to 4th Density. Then, above, the Cs say: "if you have foreknowledge, you are learning that lesson early, and in a different way" and that this leads to a "smoother" transition.

Knowing that my soul and consciousness is my gravitational center and my physical existence is fluid and only the tool helps me understand how to endure a traumatic transition.

I think that this is a big part of this particular project and why it may help us to RIDE the Wave rather than getting sucked under. Getting all of the "karmic and simple understandings" under our belt may help a LOT; it may even help us to be "done" with such lessons. It is certainly Work in a very specific sense, and I think that a steady, continuous exposure will likely bring us face to face with many lessons we need to learn. There is no one book that has the whole thing in it; it may take hundreds to exhaust the almost endless permutations of karmic/simple understandings.

This point is what has made all that you have done so valuable to me. The knowledge that I have to look for even my smallest karmic pile and shovel IT has made a significant difference in my behavior and outlook. I use to have a "it's not my fault and I too special to be shoveling IT" attitude towards life's problems. Life has been peaceful since I have changed that attitude to "be happy while shoveling IT" and to do it as quickly as possible.

Like everyone else, I am alternating my reading between difficult texts (part of my research) and the novels. But I swear, sometimes reading the novels is actually more difficult because they often expose me to painful truths about reality, humans, past, present, future lives and more. And what is so amazing is how the "happy endings" always snap me back into a better frame of mind after the catharsis of pain and suffering. And the Cs did say that suffering changes DNA. Maybe that is another important aspect? Tuning of antennae?

I have developed a thousand eyes of self awareness because of this reading project. My past, present and future is being exposed in new ways that I never imagined. The fact that reading these stories made me aware that my story is also being read by my future self. Very warming but also very humbling. Lately, I have had to talk myself off the ledge of self loathing by refocusing my attention of the fact that all is lessons and this is what it means to be human. IT happens and that is why we have to learn how to be happy while shoveling IT.

The intense feeling of dread lurking in the shadows is what has compelled me to find Una Paloma Blanca. I remembered how that song made me feel a joyful anticipation of a brighter future. It helps me avoid the dwelling on the darkness that would only lead to being swallowed by the Wave due to the my intense fears. That song just blows away any dread that I have.

 

[Alejo]

Ultimately, we have to stop wallowing or beating ourselves up and get on with life with newly acquired understanding and that's a beautiful thing!

This is true! and It reminded me of something the C's said at some point about guilt being a covert ego thing, or something along the lines. In other words, I think that one has to realize that forgiveness should be the place where one takes responsibility for one's actions, regardless where they came from, but it should also be the place where guilt stops, because when you think about it, feeling forever guilty about something that you did for longer than it is necessary, is really making yourself feel a lot more important than you really are.

And in that sense, the idea of paying forward or making amends to the universe at large is the most useful, you live your apologies and thus forgive yourself and others, and stop living in guilt and self centered.

And this is where these novels become very useful as well in my opinion, because it provides you with a reminder and a model to follow in order to make amends to the universe, it depicts the honorable thing to do, the honest thing to do, the gentleman behavior, the lady behavior, the compassionate, the sacrifice of the self in order to achieve a goal that is larger, than simple self aggrandizement. It brings back the concept of your word (specially to yourself and those you care about) having value and worth. Even if as imaginative exercises, they're useful I would say. You cannot change the past, but you can choose today.

Like everyone else, I am alternating my reading between difficult texts (part of my research) and the novels. But I swear, sometimes reading the novels is actually more difficult because they often expose me to painful truths about reality, humans, past, present, future lives and more. And what is so amazing is how the "happy endings" always snap me back into a better frame of mind after the catharsis of pain and suffering. And the Cs did say that suffering changes DNA. Maybe that is another important aspect? Tuning of antennae?

It's interesting you mentioned this, I have also been thinking about the transition and how these reading exercises might provide tremendous aid, and I am reminded of a session where the C's said something along the lines of, at some point during the transition we would merge with our other selves in other realities. Thinking about that for a second and realizing how traumatic and confusing of an experience that would be, perhaps going through a similar experience in "slow motion" will mitigate the actual experience or it might mean that some of it will be done ahead of time?, who knows.

 

[Laura]

I have developed a thousand eyes of self awareness because of this reading project. My past, present and future is being exposed in new ways that I never imagined. The fact that reading these stories made me aware that my story is also being read by my future self. Very warming but also very humbling. Lately, I have had to talk myself off the ledge of self loathing by refocusing my attention of the fact that all is lessons and this is what it means to be human. IT happens and that is why we have to learn how to be happy while shoveling IT.

The intense feeling of dread lurking in the shadows is what has compelled me to find Una Paloma Blanca. I remembered how that song made me feel a joyful anticipation of a brighter future. It helps me avoid the dwelling on the darkness that would only lead to being swallowed by the Wave due to the my intense fears. That song just blows away any dread that I have.

Beautifully put. And yes, I LOVE Slim Whitman's version.

This is true! and It reminded me of something the C's said at some point about guilt being a covert ego thing, or something along the lines. In other words, I think that one has to realize that forgiveness should be the place where one takes responsibility for one's actions, regardless where they came from, but it should also be the place where guilt stops, because when you think about it, feeling forever guilty about something that you did for longer than it is necessary, is really making yourself feel a lot more important than you really are.

And in that sense, the idea of paying forward or making amends to the universe at large is the most useful, you live your apologies and thus forgive yourself and others, and stop living in guilt and self centered.

Thanks, I needed that!

It's interesting you mentioned this, I have also been thinking about the transition and how these reading exercises might provide tremendous aid, and I am reminded of a session where the C's said something along the lines of, at some point during the transition we would merge with our other selves in other realities. Thinking about that for a second and realizing how traumatic and confusing of an experience that would be, perhaps going through a similar experience in "slow motion" will mitigate the actual experience or it might mean that some of it will be done ahead of time?, who knows.

Yes, this follows along my own thinking on the subject.

I've read studies that show that imagining oneself doing a certain thing helps almost as much as actually practicing doing it (like throwing a basketball through the hoop.) If that is true of physical activities, it may also be true of emotional/mental actions.

 

[Scottie]

This is true! and It reminded me of something the C's said at some point about guilt being a covert ego thing, or something along the lines. In other words, I think that one has to realize that forgiveness should be the place where one takes responsibility for one's actions, regardless where they came from, but it should also be the place where guilt stops, because when you think about it, feeling forever guilty about something that you did for longer than it is necessary, is really making yourself feel a lot more important than you really are.

I remember that quote, but it took me awhile to really grok it and start trying to live it.

When a person refuses to forgive and let go, that can create guilt in us. If it drags on and on, it seems that what's really happening is that the other person who can't forgive is being totally narcissistic. By "guilting" us, they are effectively inviting us to join them in their self-centeredness and self-pity. And much of the time, we're only too happy to oblige!

The reverse is also obviously true, where we are the ones who can't forgive.

The worst case is probably where the other person has long since forgotten about or gotten over you, but you're still feeling so bad about what an awful person you are (not were - are)!

And then we have the phrase, "forgive and forget". Well, you should never forget. That would mean you didn't learn a thing. But you can still forgive but refuse the crazy emotional 'me Me MEEEEE!' dance.

It also makes me think about historical events like the Holocaust and how the perpetrators of guilt these days are very often not even the ones who suffered during the actual event. I remember reading... Miko Peled's book, I think... where he talked about how the elders who were survivors of the camps at the creation of Israel wanted nothing but peace, whereas it was the younger generation who went militant and created modern Israel.

Guilt is like super-STS narcissism jet fuel! It burns everything it touches.

---

BTW, I stopped counting how many romance novels I've read and reporting on each one. Somewhere around 40, I think. Did the Ballogh Web series, which was awesome. For those of you who may have read some of her newer books and been put off by the crap writing, try some of her earlier works. It's like a different person wrote them!

Currently reading Scarlett Scott's Sins & Scoundrels series, which is also quite good and packed with all kinds of interpersonal drama as various characters try to get over themselves. The best part so far is how some of the characters in earlier books are presented in a very negative light, and then you learn in later books why they are the way they are... They're quite good!!

 

[Mililea]

Yes, this follows along my own thinking on the subject.

I've read studies that show that imagining oneself doing a certain thing helps almost as much as actually practicing doing it (like throwing a basketball through the hoop.) If that is true of physical activities, it may also be true of emotional/mental actions.

I was just thinking about how I cared for my mother who had cancer until she died. I read, watched and listened to every imaginable material about death at that time. Because I wanted to know what happens next, what does it look like, how do people in similar situations feel, what are the options, how do I help her the most.
And there were things, especially towards the end, that I would have done very differently without that knowledge, and I would have also been much more scared during the whole dying process. It also makes it easier to grieve, because you're doing a lot of this really difficult work in advance. In the end, it was a peaceful process for both of us, which would not have been possible in the form it was without this knowledge and the confrontation with death.

I think it's comparable to transition. The more knowledge we acquire, the easier it will be. It sounds logical and also takes away the fear I think.

 

[Chu]

Now, what seems important to me is this: we've also been told that "karmic and simple understandings" are the things we most need to learn to graduate from 3rd Density to 4th Density. Then, above, the Cs say: "if you have foreknowledge, you are learning that lesson early, and in a different way" and that this leads to a "smoother" transition.

Aha! It makes sense. Some of the struggles in the stories are so "archetypal" or universal, that I often think there is no way I haven't either experienced them, or would do in another life if I hadn't read the books! As in, "this is essential learning for everyone, better get it indirectly or you'll still experience it directly one way or another." Until now, I hadn't made the connection with the Wave and all that.

Like everyone else, I am alternating my reading between difficult texts (part of my research) and the novels. But I swear, sometimes reading the novels is actually more difficult because they often expose me to painful truths about reality, humans, past, present, future lives and more. And what is so amazing is how the "happy endings" always snap me back into a better frame of mind after the catharsis of pain and suffering. And the Cs did say that suffering changes DNA. Maybe that is another important aspect? Tuning of antennae?

I don't know whether this applies here too or not, but I have to say that sometimes reading this thread is as huge part of the exercise for me. Reading people's accounts, how they connected the dots, sharing something about their lives, and about how these books are changing them... is as emotionally loaded as some of the books. But after reading each post, I feel joy, like a friend saying: " Gogogo, you made it to the other side! or "Hey! I feel ya, I went through something similar, you're not crazy!" Maybe the exercise, for those who share, is also meant to "connect chakras"? Not sure it makes sense. Maybe more like "Sharing is caring". And maybe also because everyone's stories here add a more concrete aspect to those "archetypal" lessons being depicted in the books.

his is true! and It reminded me of something the C's said at some point about guilt being a covert ego thing, or something along the lines. In other words, I think that one has to realize that forgiveness should be the place where one takes responsibility for one's actions, regardless where they came from, but it should also be the place where guilt stops, because when you think about it, feeling forever guilty about something that you did for longer than it is necessary, is really making yourself feel a lot more important than you really are.

And in that sense, the idea of paying forward or making amends to the universe at large is the most useful, you live your apologies and thus forgive yourself and others, and stop living in guilt and self centered.

I still struggle with this sometimes, so thank you for how wonderfully you put it! It's a perfect reminder.

 

[Jacques]

BTW, I stopped counting how many romance novels I've read and reporting on each one. Somewhere around 40, I think.

So do I and it is something around 65 according to my Kindle reader.

 

[Mrs. Peel]

The worst case is probably where the other person has long since forgotten about or gotten over you, but you're still feeling so bad about what an awful person you are (not were - are)!

Oh my gosh yes! I think I told this story in one of the Crystal Meetings when we were talking about making amends. I had dated a guy (A) for about six months back in 1976-1977, then became attracted to a coworker (B), and for a while, kept seeing both of them without telling (A) about (B). Well, of course one night (B) was over my house and (A) showed up unannounced. (A) took it really hard and that was the end of our relationship, amid lots of recriminations. I felt guilty for not being upfront with him that I was seeing someone else. I was only about 19 years old and this was my first relationship(s), and I guess I wanted to have my cake and eat it too. Later, I saw what a jerk (B) was and I wanted to rekindle the relationship with (A). For a few years after I'd seek (A) out at the places he'd go, and maybe we'd talk or go for breakfast after the bar closed, but he never made any effort to get in touch with me again. Finally I started seeing somebody else.

Well, maybe four years ago, I was volunteering at a local nursing home, and we'd taken some of the wheelchair-bound residents to a McDonalds for lunch, and I saw a guy sit down at the table next to ours and look over. I immediately knew it was (A) even though I hadn't seen him in probably 30 years. As we were leaving with the residents, I stopped at his table and said "hi, would you possible be (A)?" He looked at me and said "yes, and who would you be?" I was a bit taken aback, but told him my name. He still looked blank, and I said I was his girlfriend from way back when. I'm still not sure if he really remembered me or was just being polite, but he did say, oh yeah, how are you, and that he was waiting for his wife to finish shopping. I had to leave right then and didn't have a chance to say anything more than nice to see you again.

Man, talk about a smack to the ego! Here I was thinking I'd destroyed his world and faith in womankind! Over the years, I still dreamed about him occasionally, and that always made me felt bad and wonder what would have happened if we'd stayed together. Every time I'd hear certain songs we'd liked, I'd think about him, and then immediately how badly I'd treated him.

And here all this time later, after all my angst, he couldn't even remember who the heck I was!!!!

Talk about lessons and wasted energy!!

 

[Alejo]

I still struggle with this sometimes, so thank you for how wonderfully you put it! It's a perfect reminder.

Same here :), and I might be wrong, but in trying to remain humble, I sometimes think that these are things we may forever struggle with, I forget which movie it was that I heard this, but I remember liking it, someone said "We never defeat our demons, we simply learn to live above them".

Which, it helps befriend that elephant sometimes as it removes the urgency of "I have to overcome this!". Which in turn, I think, is the difference between a choice and forcing a habit upon yourself, if that makes sense.

Best example I can think of right now is diet, if you force yourself to stop eating something, you will probably have a real hard time and not succeed. But if you accept that you just love cookies and you will always enjoy them, for instance, then it's an easier to choose once you've accepted that you still enjoy them, you just won't have them.

 

[Mikkael]

I'm joining with our project reading novels, which actually I did start two months ago. I'm quite behind reading through this thread, somewhere on the page 40 which I want to go through and not to miss recommendations of books and insights. I've completed three series now, Huxtable's, Marriage of Convenience, Trilogy Courting Julia, and few more books and now going through Wagers of Sin.

I like reading stories like this. I am becoming less excited about bed scenes though it is not boring at all. Curiously I am emotional sometimes unexpectedly in dialogues where it is not immediately obvious to me why, which brings me to the brink of tears, but it is all the better imprinted in my memory now. The parts I remember better for their emotional impact, may have deeper meaning for me, so it's good to keep them in mind.

 

[Deliverance]

Chu said :

I don't know whether this applies here too or not, but I have to say that sometimes reading this thread is as huge part of the exercise for me. Reading people's accounts, how they connected the dots, sharing something about their lives, and about how these books are changing them... is as emotionally loaded as some of the books. But after reading each post, I feel joy, like a friend saying: " Gogogo, you made it to the other side! or "Hey! I feel ya, I went through something similar, you're not crazy!" Maybe the exercise, for those who share, is also meant to "connect chakras"? Not sure it makes sense. Maybe more like "Sharing is caring". And maybe also because everyone's stories here add a more concrete aspect to those "archetypal" lessons being depicted in the books.

I confess that this becomes valid for me as well: also allowing me to make new associations of emotions and traumas that resonate strongly, from your comments and stories, for example.

J'avoue que cela devient valable pour moi aussi : en me permettant aussi de faire des associations nouvelles d'émotions et traumas qui résonnent avec force, à partir de vos commentaires et récits, par exemple. Gratitude

 

[Approaching Infinity]

I'm joining with our project reading novels, which actually I did start two months ago. I'm quite behind reading through this thread, somewhere on the page 40 which I want to go through and not to miss recommendations of books and insights. I've completed three series now, Huxtable's, Marriage of Convenience, Trilogy Courting Julia, and few more books and now going through Wagers of Sin.

I like reading stories like this. I am becoming less excited about bed scenes though it is not boring at all. Curiously I am emotional sometimes unexpectedly in dialogues where it is not immediately obvious to me why, which brings me to the brink of tears, but it is all the better imprinted in my memory now. The parts I remember better for their emotional impact, may have deeper meaning for me, so it's good to keep them in mind.

Same here, Mikkael. I'm currently reading the Marriage of Convenience series. Anne Gracie really is great - pretty sure I like her more than Scarlett Scott (though Balogh is still the top for me). Like others have mentioned, the characters have depth, the character interactions are so realistic and engaging, and she's damn funny too. I was skeptical that I'd laugh out loud, but I have, repeatedly. Aunt Agatha is hilarious. For whatever reason, the second book was a very emotional read for me. Without spoiling, Ned's arc, and the revelations about his past, and the resolution, hit me like a ton of bricks. Was hard to read through the tears during a few scenes in particular! Just a beautiful story - and suspenseful too. And book 3 starts with a bang. What a page-turner!

The way I see it, reading these novels is like living a little life all on its own. Like Laura said about visualization, by living all these various lives, it's like going through numerous mini past life reviews. To see all the mistakes we've made, and all the mistakes we could make. In other words, it's a way to learn lessons. In these books, you get to experience a range of situations and relationships that no one would otherwise be able to fit into one life. You get to peer into another world, and by living through all the conflicts and resolutions, that emotional journey takes place within the reader too. It's like Collingwood's Idea of History, but on the emotional (and sexual) level. The Idea of Romance!

 

[hlat]

Oh my gosh yes! I think I told this story in one of the Crystal Meetings when we were talking about making amends. I had dated a guy (A) for about six months back in 1976-1977, then became attracted to a coworker (B), and for a while, kept seeing both of them without telling (A) about (B). Well, of course one night (B) was over my house and (A) showed up unannounced. (A) took it really hard and that was the end of our relationship, amid lots of recriminations. I felt guilty for not being upfront with him that I was seeing someone else. I was only about 19 years old and this was my first relationship(s), and I guess I wanted to have my cake and eat it too. Later, I saw what a jerk (B) was and I wanted to rekindle the relationship with (A). For a few years after I'd seek (A) out at the places he'd go, and maybe we'd talk or go for breakfast after the bar closed, but he never made any effort to get in touch with me again. Finally I started seeing somebody else.

Well, maybe four years ago, I was volunteering at a local nursing home, and we'd taken some of the wheelchair-bound residents to a McDonalds for lunch, and I saw a guy sit down at the table next to ours and look over. I immediately knew it was (A) even though I hadn't seen him in probably 30 years. As we were leaving with the residents, I stopped at his table and said "hi, would you possible be (A)?" He looked at me and said "yes, and who would you be?" I was a bit taken aback, but told him my name. He still looked blank, and I said I was his girlfriend from way back when. I'm still not sure if he really remembered me or was just being polite, but he did say, oh yeah, how are you, and that he was waiting for his wife to finish shopping. I had to leave right then and didn't have a chance to say anything more than nice to see you again.

Man, talk about a smack to the ego! Here I was thinking I'd destroyed his world and faith in womankind! Over the years, I still dreamed about him occasionally, and that always made me felt bad and wonder what would have happened if we'd stayed together. Every time I'd hear certain songs we'd liked, I'd think about him, and then immediately how badly I'd treated him.

And here all this time later, after all my angst, he couldn't even remember who the heck I was!!!!

Talk about lessons and wasted energy!!

That's what I was thinking about. The stupid things we do when we're young, and the pain that we hold on to, not accepting that the pain is based on an illusion and not something real.

 

[Laura]

I like reading stories like this. I am becoming less excited about bed scenes though it is not boring at all. Curiously I am emotional sometimes unexpectedly in dialogues where it is not immediately obvious to me why, which brings me to the brink of tears, but it is all the better imprinted in my memory now. The parts I remember better for their emotional impact, may have deeper meaning for me, so it's good to keep them in mind.

Yup. In the beginning, the bed scenes may grab your attention, and they are a real part of life that needs to be faced, reacted to, thought about, but as you continue they become more "naturalized", so to say, less disturbing, and you begin to pay more attention to nuances of characters and dialogue and emotional - even spiritual - reaction. That is to say, you begin to put things in their rightful place. Sex is important, but it is only part of the whole relationship deal. And it has been interesting to me to observe how the different authors write their sex scenes, generally making them character specific. In that respect, I was always able to tell a lot about a person by the way they drive a car and here, it seems that you can tell a lot about a person by the way they have sex/make love. And the authors know that and most of them take some care to attend to that aspect. You can even observe the growth and development of the character by changes in the way they make love. Also, even if the person is acting out of true character because of wounding, sometimes who they truly are comes through in the way they make love.

So, all in all, it is a real education in so many ways.