j0da
Jedi Council Member
I haven’t been very active recently on the forum due to rather intense “ride” I’ve been going through during last two months, but now the time has come to share some thoughts about all those events and hopefully, it will help someone, or at least will serve as a testimony of a struggle, the kind many of us face in our quest.
Ever since I’ve found this wonderful group, Laura, Ark and Cass material I wanted to be part of it. From the very beginning something ringed very true to me here and I’ve decided to take the necessary effort which would enable me to apply to QFS. But, there was a significant obstacle beforme me, since I’ve been hanging around in buddhist/scientology (and it’s various offshoots) areas for quite a time and inevitably, I’ve acquired certain baggage of ideas and sets of beliefs which due to their character and content are very difficult to evaluate. Not only that, in some instances methods used by those groups and effects of their application were more than satisfactory that tossing them away was quite a feat. Nevertheless, since I’ve read somewhere that anyone willing to do the Work HAS TO BE SURE of his choice, has to be certain that this way and NOT THE OTHER would bring fruits on his quest for truth, I’ve set out on a journey with one goal in my mind – to knock all the doors yet unnocked, to ascertain that nowhere else will I find the answers I’m looking for.
It goes without saying that interacting in this forum, learning and practicing acquired knowledge and abilities helped me tremendously. Without it, I doubt if my goal would reach fruition in reasonable time (if it would do it at all).
I’ve assembled a set of characteristics which any school/way/philosophy/teacher has to posses/include in order to be considered valid and worthy of my inquires. This set comprises of: a clarity of provided information, coherency of data, high signal-to-noise ratio, availability, affordability, fruitfulness, quality and quantity of information explaining crucial global events of normal/paranormal character and finally certain frequency which resonates with my intuition. Failure to meet ANY of mentioned requirements would result in exclusion from a pool of considered areas of involvement.
When I’ve brought this approach to action it’s performance exceeded my wildest expectations! Those second thoughts of mine dwelling somewhere in the background of my intelectual activity were falling down like flies, literally. It wasn’t a long haul after all.
Although, The Matrix wasn’t sleeping and it was going to tremendous heights to stall me in my efforts, to make my life difficult, to distract me by placing before me random obstacles and traps, which when sprung would bring considerable losses if not a disaster. I’ve been feeling the heat when in short period of time I’ve been put under big pressure in my work, financial supression and my family was actively pushing me to make decisions which I would regret very soon. I had to work days and nights non-stop for about a month, what exhausted me considerably. I had to resist pressure to put my money into acquiring an appartment which under normal circumstances would be great investment, but in the long run it would require me to earn much more money than I earn now, activity which would consume extremely valuable time needed to read required material.
Eso Quest activity was one of the obstacles as well. Even if I didn’t contact him personally outside this forum, his subtle acknowledgements of various “paths” was fogging my perception and giving them some validity (using “authority” and“convoluted vocabulary” tactics, playing comrade and what not), thus pushing my goal away from me.
Interesting thing – just after his spell was broken and I’ve regained much clarity to continue my journey I’ve come under such intense internal attack, that it scared the hell out of me. It went through “computer game junkie” channel and I’ve found myself playing some epic space strategy game 16 hours a day non-stop, for about a week, drowned in complete oblivion and detachment from the world around me. It has placed me in danger of failing to fullfill my professional obligations and thus breaking a promising cooperation, not mentioning all other things we have to do in our every day lives.
The night after EQ drama was revealed I had a dream about snakes which were attempting to invade my room. I shut the door preventing their entry, but one of those pesky creatures was clasped between the door and the doorstep. Somehow it severed it’s head, which turned into a bug, which instantly hid somwhere inside my room. Now I know what kind of bug it was…
Only recently the storm has calmed down a bit and I feel I have some time to continue reading “Adventure Series”, but I know the struggle isn’t over. Even now I see another wave coming – out of the blue someone contacted me this week. Someone I loved, someone I lost and someone I still have some affection for. What will be the outcome of our meeting is uncertain, but I can clearly see yet another test is on it's way.
Well, that’s it, in highly compressed form. If you consider something from above worthy further elaboration – let me know. As for now - HAPPY SAILING EVERYONE!
Ever since I’ve found this wonderful group, Laura, Ark and Cass material I wanted to be part of it. From the very beginning something ringed very true to me here and I’ve decided to take the necessary effort which would enable me to apply to QFS. But, there was a significant obstacle beforme me, since I’ve been hanging around in buddhist/scientology (and it’s various offshoots) areas for quite a time and inevitably, I’ve acquired certain baggage of ideas and sets of beliefs which due to their character and content are very difficult to evaluate. Not only that, in some instances methods used by those groups and effects of their application were more than satisfactory that tossing them away was quite a feat. Nevertheless, since I’ve read somewhere that anyone willing to do the Work HAS TO BE SURE of his choice, has to be certain that this way and NOT THE OTHER would bring fruits on his quest for truth, I’ve set out on a journey with one goal in my mind – to knock all the doors yet unnocked, to ascertain that nowhere else will I find the answers I’m looking for.
It goes without saying that interacting in this forum, learning and practicing acquired knowledge and abilities helped me tremendously. Without it, I doubt if my goal would reach fruition in reasonable time (if it would do it at all).
I’ve assembled a set of characteristics which any school/way/philosophy/teacher has to posses/include in order to be considered valid and worthy of my inquires. This set comprises of: a clarity of provided information, coherency of data, high signal-to-noise ratio, availability, affordability, fruitfulness, quality and quantity of information explaining crucial global events of normal/paranormal character and finally certain frequency which resonates with my intuition. Failure to meet ANY of mentioned requirements would result in exclusion from a pool of considered areas of involvement.
When I’ve brought this approach to action it’s performance exceeded my wildest expectations! Those second thoughts of mine dwelling somewhere in the background of my intelectual activity were falling down like flies, literally. It wasn’t a long haul after all.
Although, The Matrix wasn’t sleeping and it was going to tremendous heights to stall me in my efforts, to make my life difficult, to distract me by placing before me random obstacles and traps, which when sprung would bring considerable losses if not a disaster. I’ve been feeling the heat when in short period of time I’ve been put under big pressure in my work, financial supression and my family was actively pushing me to make decisions which I would regret very soon. I had to work days and nights non-stop for about a month, what exhausted me considerably. I had to resist pressure to put my money into acquiring an appartment which under normal circumstances would be great investment, but in the long run it would require me to earn much more money than I earn now, activity which would consume extremely valuable time needed to read required material.
Eso Quest activity was one of the obstacles as well. Even if I didn’t contact him personally outside this forum, his subtle acknowledgements of various “paths” was fogging my perception and giving them some validity (using “authority” and“convoluted vocabulary” tactics, playing comrade and what not), thus pushing my goal away from me.
Interesting thing – just after his spell was broken and I’ve regained much clarity to continue my journey I’ve come under such intense internal attack, that it scared the hell out of me. It went through “computer game junkie” channel and I’ve found myself playing some epic space strategy game 16 hours a day non-stop, for about a week, drowned in complete oblivion and detachment from the world around me. It has placed me in danger of failing to fullfill my professional obligations and thus breaking a promising cooperation, not mentioning all other things we have to do in our every day lives.
The night after EQ drama was revealed I had a dream about snakes which were attempting to invade my room. I shut the door preventing their entry, but one of those pesky creatures was clasped between the door and the doorstep. Somehow it severed it’s head, which turned into a bug, which instantly hid somwhere inside my room. Now I know what kind of bug it was…
Only recently the storm has calmed down a bit and I feel I have some time to continue reading “Adventure Series”, but I know the struggle isn’t over. Even now I see another wave coming – out of the blue someone contacted me this week. Someone I loved, someone I lost and someone I still have some affection for. What will be the outcome of our meeting is uncertain, but I can clearly see yet another test is on it's way.
Well, that’s it, in highly compressed form. If you consider something from above worthy further elaboration – let me know. As for now - HAPPY SAILING EVERYONE!