Session 15 October 2016

tohuwabohu

Jedi Master
Laura said:
Session Date: October 15th 2016

Q: (Andromeda) There's a particular dream that I remember that seems to be associated with the present where somebody dies. Is that to do with past lives, or anything in the present?

A: New beginnings are usually signaled this way.

Q: (Galatea) Is that the same for my feeling of looming death that I've been sensing the past several months?

A: Yes
I made a request for the crystals for the crystal network. I think I could appreciate some help and those little
friends can hopefully assist me and make some difference. Sorry I could not support the group more with the donations but I lost my job. Fortunately saved some money. Nevertheless I am reluctant to work for some pathological individuals so right now I am in a tight spot. So writing this post and asking for some help seems like a good idea (you are the only normal people I know who understand what STO means).

I suppose I am afraid that I fail to take proper care of the crystals because I do not speak crystal-ish. And I absolutely do not like to determine the needs of others. Only recently I watched two beautiful trees die. I always took good care of them but my parents did not. I learned to understand them so I can care about them and they were very inteligent. I think even some trees are more inteligent than some people.

But now I lost everything so I have to live with my parents in their house. I wish I could have saved them but I was weak. I wish I could be strong but I am not. Seems for me like the end of my life. Feel like I am about to die. But I do not know. I had a dream where I died. And in that instant I thought that dying now and like this was simply pointless and stupid. I mean I didn't achieve anything in this life except for going to school and then working 24/7 for some perverts and paedophiles. If the rest of my life would be like this, I would rather die.

I am aware that my life until now was completely useless. I am AWARE of this simple FACT. And that is exactly
why I have to write this and ask for help. Because if I do not, there is only one way - check out. And then I would feel completely stupid. I wasted my whole life pursuing some illusion (my parents of course think different).
And now I am at the end of the road there is no more illusion. I feel like it is dead end, feel like have nowhere to go.

I wish I could get a chance to say "thank you" to the girl who saved my life but I never met her. I could not understand why because she told me her life would be useless without me and if I die she has to die too. I wish I could live so she could live and be happy. I could not understand why I didn't met her if she came here with me. But now I
understand, it's because she was never part of the illusion she doesn't live in the illusion. She lives real life in the real world.

That is where I wish to live now. I wish to live real life and do real things, things that matter, universally important things that when I die I could be proud of. That is what I wish for. I know that whatever happens, in the world of illusion I feel I am already dead.

I would like to thank all of you and I mean ALL who are participating in the forum because you were here for me. You created something of unspeakable value. Where else in this world people help each other like you do here? Where else I could ask for help and actually be given what I ask for? Well maybe in some Inuit village ok. But you created whole new world, real world, where people help each other and thus are doing real work. Because you are doing something that matters. That actually makes difference. You are changing lives of other people by helping them, and trust me even if you help only one person, you have just changed universe, because each of you is the whole universe. Even though I was not active on the forum for the last two years I was always with you and I will always be.
 

nicklebleu

The Living Force
FOTCM Member
tohuwabohu said:
Feel like I am about to die. But I do not know. I had a dream where I died. And in that instant I thought that dying now and like this was simply pointless and stupid. I mean I didn't achieve anything in this life except for going to school and then working 24/7 for some perverts and paedophiles. If the rest of my life would be like this, I would rather die.

I am aware that my life until now was completely useless. I am AWARE of this simple FACT. And that is exactly
why I have to write this and ask for help. Because if I do not, there is only one way - check out. And then I would feel completely stupid. I wasted my whole life pursuing some illusion (my parents of course think different).
And now I am at the end of the road there is no more illusion. I feel like it is dead end, feel like have nowhere to go.
I think that is what Laura has told countless time, that you need to "die" figuratively, so that you can be "reborn". Many of us who have found our way to this forum have gone through similar episodes, where you snap out of the illusion that you have been living in for most of your life. And that is a life-chaning even, a bit like dying, but it is also the start to a "new life".

It took me over 40 years to get to that stage, where you got there earlier in life. No matter what or when, I think it is a necessary stage of development to go through this feeling of utter bankrupcy. But now you can rebuild your life along more natural ways, ways that YOU choose, and who are more in balance with what you came to achieve in this life time.

Upwards and onwards!
 

Konstantin

Ambassador
Ambassador
FOTCM Member
tohuwabohu said:
Laura said:
Session Date: October 15th 2016

Q: (Andromeda) There's a particular dream that I remember that seems to be associated with the present where somebody dies. Is that to do with past lives, or anything in the present?

A: New beginnings are usually signaled this way.

Q: (Galatea) Is that the same for my feeling of looming death that I've been sensing the past several months?

A: Yes
I made a request for the crystals for the crystal network. I think I could appreciate some help and those little
friends can hopefully assist me and make some difference. Sorry I could not support the group more with the donations but I lost my job. Fortunately saved some money. Nevertheless I am reluctant to work for some pathological individuals so right now I am in a tight spot. So writing this post and asking for some help seems like a good idea (you are the only normal people I know who understand what STO means).


I suppose I am afraid that I fail to take proper care of the crystals because I do not speak crystal-ish. And I absolutely do not like to determine the needs of others. Only recently I watched two beautiful trees die. I always took good care of them but my parents did not. I learned to understand them so I can care about them and they were very inteligent. I think even some trees are more inteligent than some people.
What you mean by that ?. If you received your crystals just sing to them, read the prayers from the booklet and keep them away from moonlight and sunlight.There is no something special that you cant do and some others can. Its very simple and you don't need anything special to do that. Just a will to do it and good intentions.


But now I lost everything so I have to live with my parents in their house. I wish I could have saved them but I was weak. I wish I could be strong but I am not. Seems for me like the end of my life. Feel like I am about to die. But I do not know. I had a dream where I died. And in that instant I thought that dying now and like this was simply pointless and stupid. I mean I didn't achieve anything in this life except for going to school and then working 24/7 for some perverts and paedophiles. If the rest of my life would be like this, I would rather die.
I am almost 40 and I live the whole life with my parents with my wife and my son. It is not the end of the world. You said that you lost your job, and it is also ok. It is a part of the real life. In real life, people are losing jobs and they are fighting again and again in their lives to find new and better jobs. You said you have worked 24/7 for perverts and pedophiles and that you have lost your job. Maybe it is a good thing not a bad. Do you like to work for those people?
You now have a chance to find a better job.That is also part of a real life
That dream where you have died is not about your real death.Usually, dreams like that represent sudden and unexpected changes in your life or in you as a person. Death is sudden and unexpected so it is a symbol of sudden and unexpected changes. That is how I understand that dream .
Stay aware and work on finding a new job. That is also part of the real life.
I am aware that my life until now was completely useless. I am AWARE of this simple FACT. And that is exactly
why I have to write this and ask for help. Because if I do not, there is only one way - check out. And then I would feel completely stupid. I wasted my whole life pursuing some illusion (my parents of course think different).
And now I am at the end of the road there is no more illusion. I feel like it is dead end, feel like have nowhere to go.
It was not useless.We are learning lessons through our lives. There is no useless life. Everybody is part of their mission on this density.It is only your perception that it is useless.And if you want to change that perception then start doing something. Like a searching for new and better job for example.Doing that is part of the real life.
Sitting there and feeling sorry for yourself and having suicidal thoughts is part of your illusion. That will not fix anything in your life.You will feel just more miserable.
Get up, think and start doing something and universe will answer. Who knows what opportunity will open in front of you today, or maybe tomorrow.But in order to get that you need to ask for it. And you will ask the universe for it by starting to work in that direction.
It is another part of the real life.
So you see, that the real life is not easy, but it is the real life and if you want to have it, to live it, then work on yourself and start doing some changes in yourself and that will follow with changes in your life
I wish I could get a chance to say "thank you" to the girl who saved my life but I never met her. I could not understand why because she told me her life would be useless without me and if I die she has to die too. I wish I could live so she could live and be happy. I could not understand why I didn't met her if she came here with me. But now I
understand, it's because she was never part of the illusion she doesn't live in the illusion. She lives real life in the real world.

That is where I wish to live now. I wish to live real life and do real things, things that matter, universally important things that when I die I could be proud of. That is what I wish for. I know that whatever happens, in the world of illusion I feel I am already dead.

I would like to thank all of you and I mean ALL who are participating in the forum because you were here for me. You created something of unspeakable value. Where else in this world people help each other like you do here? Where else I could ask for help and actually be given what I ask for? Well maybe in some Inuit village ok. But you created whole new world, real world, where people help each other and thus are doing real work. Because you are doing something that matters. That actually makes difference. You are changing lives of other people by helping them, and trust me even if you help only one person, you have just changed universe, because each of you is the whole universe. Even though I was not active on the forum for the last two years I was always with you and I will always be.
You are part of this forum, So it means that you are part of something that matters. Try to help the forum and community by doing something for it. There are many projects where you can participate and help. Many of the forum members are not in a position to donate some bigger amount of money, but they are helping by participating in various projects. You can try that. It will also give you feeling that you are part of this community and that you are helping to do something for others.

Take care of yourself and I hope that you will be fine. :hug2:
 

zak

Jedi Council Member
tohuwabohu said:
(...)

I am aware that my life until now was completely useless. I am AWARE of this simple FACT. And that is exactly
why I have to write this and ask for help. Because if I do not, there is only one way - check out. And then I would feel completely stupid. I wasted my whole life pursuing some illusion (my parents of course think different).
And now I am at the end of the road there is no more illusion. I feel like it is dead end, feel like have nowhere to go.

(...)
An available and valuable reminder:
Look at life like as business. Time is your money for life. When you came into this world, a definite amount of money was given to you and this you cannot exceed. Time is the only currency with which you pay for your life. Now you see, how you used the biggest part of it in a stupid way. You have not even reached the main goal of life—to have rest. You failed as a businessman, and as a user of life—you deceived yourself. All your life you thought that everything is given to you for free, and now suddenly you discovered that—it is not free. You pay for using the time, that is why each moment of your stay here costs something. So how would it be possible for you to reimburse [recover] at least somehow these losses?
Check, if the deficit on your bank account is only temporary or is it perhaps constant? Did you loose the time or could you invest it successfully? If you have spent all your money on vacations,
then there is nothing to do but to be sorry about the past.
For many years you have been spending you life as if your parents gave you a bank account with unlimited credit. But now the amount is used and you see that you are all alone and that there is none to rely on. There is no more time on your bank account. Now you are forced to earn each hour of your life. All your life you behaved like a child and spent time just like a newly married couple on their honeymoon.
The Last Hour Of Life, by G.
 

tohuwabohu

Jedi Master
Konstantin said:
What you mean by that ?. If you received your crystals just sing to them, read the prayers from the booklet and keep them away from moonlight and sunlight.There is no something special that you cant do and some others can. Its very simple and you don't need anything special to do that. Just a will to do it and good intentions.
That is exactly what I wanted to hear. Thank you Konstantin. I think I can do that.
 

Yas

The Living Force
FOTCM Member
Konstantin said:
tohuwabohu said:
I wish I could get a chance to say "thank you" to the girl who saved my life but I never met her. I could not understand why because she told me her life would be useless without me and if I die she has to die too. I wish I could live so she could live and be happy. I could not understand why I didn't met her if she came here with me. But now I
understand, it's because she was never part of the illusion she doesn't live in the illusion. She lives real life in the real world.

That is where I wish to live now. I wish to live real life and do real things, things that matter, universally important things that when I die I could be proud of. That is what I wish for. I know that whatever happens, in the world of illusion I feel I am already dead.

I would like to thank all of you and I mean ALL who are participating in the forum because you were here for me. You created something of unspeakable value. Where else in this world people help each other like you do here? Where else I could ask for help and actually be given what I ask for? Well maybe in some Inuit village ok. But you created whole new world, real world, where people help each other and thus are doing real work. Because you are doing something that matters. That actually makes difference. You are changing lives of other people by helping them, and trust me even if you help only one person, you have just changed universe, because each of you is the whole universe. Even though I was not active on the forum for the last two years I was always with you and I will always be.
You are part of this forum, So it means that you are part of something that matters. Try to help the forum and community by doing something for it. There are many projects where you can participate and help. Many of the forum members are not in a position to donate some bigger amount of money, but they are helping by participating in various projects. You can try that. It will also give you feeling that you are part of this community and that you are helping to do something for others.

Take care of yourself and I hope that you will be fine. :hug2:
Yes! And it will give you a sense of meaning as well, which is the best antidote for the feelings you are expressing. Helping others, doing something for others, that can give you a purpose and the joy of connecting with others, feeling part of a community, as Konstantin said.

Have you read the thread Depression As A Stepping Stone (to Soul Growth)? If not, I think it could help you.

I also hope that you will be fine!
 

nicklebleu

The Living Force
FOTCM Member
tohuwabohu said:
I just realized I am part of the STO family. Thank to you guys.
No one here is STO - in 3D you are STS by definition, as physicality reigns supreme. The best you can do is to align yourself towards STO (STO candidate) and hopefully make a transition to 4D. As far as I understand all this, even in 4D you are initially not fully developed towards STO or STS either - apparently that's where you choose your "definitive" orientation and work towards fully integrating it, but maybe someone can clarify this matter in a more competent way.

My dos centavos!
 

goyacobol

The Living Force
FOTCM Member
nicklebleu said:
tohuwabohu said:
I just realized I am part of the STO family. Thank to you guys.
No one here is STO - in 3D you are STS by definition, as physicality reigns supreme. The best you can do is to align yourself towards STO (STO candidate) and hopefully make a transition to 4D. As far as I understand all this, even in 4D you are initially not fully developed towards STO or STS either - apparently that's where you choose your "definitive" orientation and work towards fully integrating it, but maybe someone can clarify this matter in a more competent way.

My dos centavos!
I think you are technically correct but if we didn't have some sense of the difference between STS and STO I think most of us would not bother being on the forum so yes, none of us is STO but none of us are necessarily full blown STS either.

I think we should think of STO as a choice or a goal to work towards. If we don't know the difference or learn the difference between STS and STO then there is not much of a point in being here.

Session 11 March 1995
Q: (T) We were 3rd density STO at this time. Was this after the battle that had transpired? In other
words, were we, as a 3rd density race, literally on our own at that point, as opposed to before?
A: Was battle.
Q: (L) The battle was in us?
A: Through you.

Q: (T) The battle was through us as to whether we would walk through this doorway... (L) The battle
was fought through us, we were literally the battleground. (T) I got that, but I want to get back to this
analogy to make sure where we are in the overall picture. The battle was going on when the door was
opened. Was the battle over whether or not we walked through that door?
A: Close.
Q: (T) Okay, we were STO at that point. You have said before that on this density we have the choice
of being STS or STO.

A: Oh Terry, the battle is always there, it's "when" you choose that counts!
Q: (T) Okay, so we are still looking at that pot of gold? What I am trying to find out is... there is
something important here... (L) Let's back up and ask it this way: Prior to this event, humankind was
or was not...
A: Prior to?
Q: (L) Okay, not prior. But, we are still talking about somewhat of a historical event in a sense even
though it is all simultaneous. This event, somewhere on the cycle, was humankind all one soul, so to
speak...
A: Backsliding.
Q: (T) We are moving backwards here. Okay, let's ask it this way...
A: Closer. You were with the thought waves, perhaps better to defer to him for this one.
Q: (L) Okay, I'll shut up. Carry on Terry. (T) I need all the help I can get. (L) It's a tough one. (T) This
must tie into why the Lizards and other aliens keep telling people that they have given their consent for
abduction and so forth. We were STO and now we are STS. (J) Yeah, right.
A: Yes, continue.
Q: (T) We are working with the analogy. The gold was an illusion. The gold was not what we perceived
it to be. It was a temptation that was given to us as STO beings on 3rd density. The door was opened
by the Lizards.
A: No temptation, it was always there. Remember Dorothy and the Ruby slippers?
Q: (T) Okay, we were STO at that time, before we stepped through. We didn't have to step through.
(F) But, wait a minute now, they keep saying, correct me if I am wrong, every time Terry says: "They
tried to get us through..." (L) They said no... (F) It was always there. (J) Free will could not be
abridged if you had not obliged. (T) They didn't do anything but open the door. The Lizards opened the
door and let us decide whether we were going to go through or not. (J) I still think the key is that we
obliged by stepping through the door... (T) By our stepping through this door that the Lizards
conveniently provided for us without actually doing anything to us, just opening it and showing it to
us...
A: Provided? ! ?
Q: (L) They didn't provide it... (J) It always existed... (T) It's always there.... (J) It's there now... (T)
The Lizards...
A: Yes, think of the Ruby slippers. What did Glenda tell Dorothy???
Q: (J) You can always go home. (L) You have always had the power to go home...
A: Yes.

Q: (L) So, we always have the power to return to being STO? Even in 3rd density?
A: Yes.

Q: (L) How does a 3rd density STO being conduct their life?
A: Discover.
Why not "Discover" STO conduct and choose to go "home". Of course it's an individual choice.

I've personally seen enough psychopathy that creates suffering here and that makes me want a better choice. I'm attaching an audio clip of Laura's preface to the SOTT radio programs that says a lot to me.
 

Attachments

Elohir

Jedi
Thank you for the session. I was not surprised to read about the puppy's part. As everything's connected, It appears logical to have pets that suit us from an energetic point of view. Like with humans, we can feel more comfortables with some pets than others.
 
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