Thank you Laura and crew for another great session. And thank you all for sharing your stories and perspectives. I find myself wanting to reply to a lot of posts, here is what I could manage so far.
I had a rather interesting experience on Easter Sunday, 21 April.
Thanks Chu.
This gives a very good insight into personal struggles and motivations which can give some of us in the outer circle, so to speak, a road map or gauge to follow or compare. This is very helpful. Thanks again
Thank you Scottie and Chu for such down to Earth accounts. I share the sentiment that was well expressed by Tuatha de Danaan.
One of the main messages that I have been taken for now is that of dissociation and it's dangers. I interpreted this as of disconnecting from reality instead of being connected and then pretend to live as an "island" (or in the echo chamber) which invites to creating a false fantasy world that can feed into more fantasies, negative thoughts that are then taken for reality (although they are an illusion - but a very well-crafted one) and which fuels again more dissociation and descent into entropy (away from awareness and expansion). So I understand why sharing is so important - reaching out again and again to others, in order to keep / strengthen the connection or re-connect and thus becoming more involved in constructive things which can change one's perception of reality or even help forge a new world. *So, instead of just seeing a harsh world and running away from that by dissociation, there's the prospect of molding that very reality (or your perception of it and yourself) in a constructive and giving way*. This session is a very good call to just keep that up and coming.
Learner, you are on point that the desire for dissociation very often feels like running away from a harsh world, as if the mind gets tired of dealing with reality and falls back to whatever is most habitual, comfortable and easy.
Your point about perception also strikes me as relevant. I can't articulate it very well but I've been having this impression that many of my negative thoughts and emotions do not require the world to change for them to go away. It's like the objective world is one thing and my perception is an interface by which I see and deal with that world. The perception is not the objective world. As if the world looks uglier than it is because my glasses are dirty. It occurs to me now that this might be related to having read
Consciousness - Anatomy of the Soul and some of the work by Donald Hoffman.
While molding the world might not yet be within grasp, which is ok because due to ignorance I could actually make it way worse, working on cleaning up the perception seems much less daunting. I don't claim to know how it is supposed to be done but working on the self, divesting oneself of illusions and false beliefs and instead believing in the right things seem to be part of it.
Yesterday evening something quite significant flipped within me (using Scottie´s term
and thank you for sharing from me too).
I probably found a very practical path to deal with with quite complex health issues I have since many years. I did contact many professionals but most suggestions/therapies did not bring any real change. That pulled me again and again in depressing moods.
A week ago I found an article on the internet dealing with the topic from an approach so logic and clear that I was really startled. I wrote an email. The author, answered quite soon and offered a Skype talk that we had yesterday evening. He told me that he went through the same stuff for many years and explained to me in detail the strategy he took successfully. He answered so many questions I had for at least a decade. Now it seems there is a grounded path ahead that will proceed and write more on the forum.
Last night I slept so good and deep, I cant remember when I last slept so well. Today was such a good day.
And now this session! It will take some time to take all in.
Thank you!!!
Breo, I hope you have found the answer you needed for your enduring health problems. Being all too familiar with sleepless nights I am happy for your reinvigorating night of sleep and I wish you many more of those!
Don't worry much about that, I used to feel that my learning was being wasted if I couldn't share it immediately with my closest circle, but it doesn't work like that, since they aren't ready to receive the information, they won't find it and they won't be able to understand it if you try to explain. One thing is good though, the sole presence of you being close to them makes a big difference in their lives and accelerates the process. At least that's what I've got to realize with my family =)
nisaza, I have had the same experience where I too went from trying to "enlight" others with all that knowledge I though I had, which was not at all fruitful and perhaps made things worse, to just trying to be a decent person and a positive influence to those around me, which does seem to have had positive results on their lives. Let us keep working and learning in the hope that our efforts will help bring better days for all.
Thank you for a great session, there's so much in it that it warrants rereading a few times over! The two hats is certainly very mind blowing, and the list is a perfect way to consolidate what we can do to stay vigilant and keep our receivers on track. I get the feeling that the PTB are increasingly getting desperate, and I have to admit to feeling a bit down, restless for no apparent reason and low on energy of late. Partly this is due to the current state of global affairs and a sinking feeling that it's not going to get better (quite the contrary) and thinking how can I help myself and my kids navigate these treacherous times. There is also a tendency to want to watch Netflix to dissociate, so this was a timely reminder to limit my 'down time' even if it feels like positive dissociation.
Arwenn, I have also felt disheartened when considering global affairs, even when it looks like some things are getting better there are many others that seem to continue in a direful direction. And the overall picture does not seem to offer any feasible escape. But, even in this material 3D reality, being aware and prepared gives us a better chance of not suffering a terrible fate. So maybe you can find some comfort in the fact that your efforts will certainly help yourself and your kids fare better than those that are not paying attention.
I have also found solace in the knowledge/faith that this life is just one life and that our consciousness will go on to other adventures for who knows how long. Reading and watching a lot of NDE accounts and research led me to conclude that to not believe the reality of it was less rational than to believe it.
Joe's Afterlife thread is also amazing as is
this thread by Prodigal Son. In a nutshell, if the soul keeps on living and if what matters most in terms of its growth is our moral development (FRV/emotional path/from STS to STO), then it is a little bit easier to weather the storms that confront us in this life.
Thanks for the session - very interesting indeed.
For me the important part was about toxic relationships in families. A few months back I made the decision to stop interacting with my sister, after having tried for over 20 years to accommodate her. But it just doesn’t work, once you think you got one base covered, she shoots off in another tangent. She is the perpetual victim, and by her logic, I am the prpetrator. One of the reasons I hung in there for so long was her son, who lacks a male role model. But she is using her son as a pawn and she is the gatekeeper in how I am allowed to interact with him (always of course in her presence).
The thing is, that it has been a very painful process, because I am staggered by how uncompromising and unreasonable my sister is, but having really tried to accommodate her - and failing all the time, while being attacked by her constantly - I have decided to end that feeding of hers. At the detriment of her son, but there is no other way that I can see, and he likely has his own lessons to learn.
But I am still reeling form this decision and a mix of incomprehension and hurt is still present. But I also know that it was the right thing to do, because I am tired of constantly have to weigh every single word I say and deflect or absorb all the bombs she hurls at me.
Anyway, a timely reminder, that your family is not who is related to you by blood, but by spirit - and my family is here.
nicklebleu, in my view you did something good and noble in providing your nephew, for as long as you could, with a role model that he was lacking. Even though you had to step aside due to your sister's behavior, it might make a really big difference to your nephew in the long run. Your love for him will certainly not go unnoticed. I find myself with teary eyes considering your pain and I wish you strength in this difficult process.
I too try to be a good influence on my nephews, to be more patient, understanding and kind to compensate a bit for my brother's explosive temperament, which I share to a lesser degree. And I have felt the pain of realizing that they have and will receive many of the same traumas I got (as son follows father), having seen my own hurts reflected in their innocent faces. I have tried to convey to my brother that he is paving the way to very strained relations with his kids but any success I had in this regard seems to be only superficial.
It is hard to know what to do in times like these. Just above me however I think goyacobol has made an apt reference to the metaphor of an orchestra: it's hard to play well if others aren't or have other ideas in mind. That I think is at the root of the difficulties that we're facing. Insofar as what to do otherwise, I don't know, just continue networking and trucking along I guess.
Lathyrus, this isn't much but I believe our efforts to play our parts as best as we can are not in vain. It is certainly a difficult task because the world around doesn't make it any easier and on top of that most of the time we don't even know what it is that we should be doing. But this world is our medium for growth in this life and just as movement depends on friction, we depend on the challenges we encounter to grow a little bit "larger" and wiser. Osit.
Your post seems to contain a sense of drudgery (sorry if I misread you), to which I very much relate. It has helped me in the past to just for a little while put all my worries and fears aside and to allow myself, even for just a little bit, to try to find and follow the most true and honest interest I could find. I think I got this idea from Peterson. In my case it was to explore the idea of Logos Christology. I was not able to get to the bottom of it but in the end it helped me be amazed at the world again, and instead of fear and despair I was grateful and humbled by the amazing possibilities the world contains.
You've done well to cut off the contact. This is not an easy process as something I have done progressively over the last 12 years. You really have to cut a peice of your heart out and try and fill it something else. We are surrounded by relatives who are ignorant of the work and realities we interact with and easily become vectors of energy attacks without even realising it. You become an alien to them and that is perfectly fine since that keeps you protected and safe.
If you ever feel hurt and lonely, what works well (at least in my case) is to look at the bigger picture. The universe is counting on you to not give in. The work takes precedence over everything else and could be already making a huge difference to the outcome of the future of the entire planet. There is a certain joy in that feeling which helps overcome all sorrows.
sid, I like your post. It goes to deep places succinctly. Regarding relatives as vectors of attack, for many years I thought I was imagining things, that I was no one to "deserve" any kind of otherworldly attack. But some instances were just so bizarre that I simply could not ignore it anymore. I still can't be sure but just acknowledging the possibility that that was the case made me much more vigilant, which was greatly helpful. A lot of what the Cs say seem impossible, but then you face something and that knowledge in the back of your head is of great help.
"It is not that those who endure to the end will be saved, but that those who endure to the end shall save others"
Sounds like the latest Avengers movie idea...
Yes, perhaps someone higher was able to influence the making of the movie to help spread a message of the value of sacrifice to save others. It would certainly be a prime choice given the millions who saw the movie. The last scene between Tony Stark and his wife stuck with me.
This was a session that helped me a lot. Some kind of shock that I shall not fall down into despair.
last 3-4 weeks I also have very intense dreams and in one of them, the main character was Laura. I wrote about it in the dreams section. A weird dream.
Then I felt in such depression without any specific reason that It was so hard to me to even take food to eat, and in the same time I felt hungry but I did not want to eat any food. I can't explain the feeling.
And every day I was drowning into a depression more and more and I could barely function. This session came to me as a shock that I needed so I could stop following those negative thought loops and to try to work more to help others.
It is like I know exactly what I have to do but I don't have the will power to do it.
Konstantin, I've been there so many times and for so long, don't give up!
I do not pretend to understand how these things work but I was greatly helped by remembering a story from Laura. I do not remember the specifics or her exact words, but the gist of it was: no matter what happens, no matter what they try to do to me, I will not give up!
And in the past year I found myself many times uttering words to that effect. As if addressing whatever dark forces are trying to put me down: I will not give up! I don't even understand where I'm going or what I'm supposed to do, but I will not give up! I will not be put down without a fight!
It has most certainly been very helpful. The effect is sometimes instantaneous. I "feel" for an instant as if there are dark things around that get angry and ready to pounce but can't and kind of go away.
Thank you, that was a wonderful session to read! Like many, the cap incident has brought me up short. ..still digesting that a merge can manifest in a physical object...
Like Scottie and Konstantin, the last month has been akin to trying to drag myself out of a well full of treacle...sitting in front of an easel all day pushing paint around is a solitary existence, to the point that when my family return home, I almost resent the interuption to my endless musings. A very dangerous place to be. That and my son no longer living at home, my daughter turning 18, I suppose I am drenched in self pity and confusion as to my role, which I know is not defined by me being only a Mum.
I used to work in one of our two pubs in the village. I left just before Christmas, but was asked by the new landlord of the other pub 2 weeks ago if I wanted any shifts. I agreed to one 8 hr day a week...it's helped, for sure. I missed witnessing people interacting with each other and I missed interacting with them. But I have also done so much reading this year, re-read the Wave and explored subjects I have never entertained in the past I feel my capacity for wider thinking has developed a little. The only way I can describe it is when your told to keep balance, imagine there is a piece of string attached to the top of your head and you have to keep it taut, straight up...I feel 'lighter' but more purposeful.
Thank you again!
Potatoes and Tomatoes, first, I smiled every time I've read your forum nick. I admire its playfulness in the midst of such somber musings.
Like yourself I easily get annoyed and resentful when interrupted. And like yourself I realized it is a bad place to be. When it happens I try to remind myself that in front of me is a person I care for and that he/she is not responsible for my own self-centredness and grumpiness. On the contrary, I am responsible for not letting my negativity spill over and affect them. Over time it has become much easier and I get much less annoyed and resentful. Actually I now often find myself glad that I can offer them my attention, within healthy boundaries, of course.
In my view being a good mother is in itself a great thing that deserves utmost respect. Even if they are no longer in your home, your children can always benefit from wise counsel and your love for them. You will always be their Mum. And just as they are growing you can keep growing too! Self-pity is a difficult thing to get rid of, at least it has been for me, but you already see it for what it is, and that is already a lot of progress. Don't let negative thoughts beat you down.
I was surprised by your description of the straight up, taut piece of string as I once had the almost exact same perception, except for it being attached somewhere along the torso, I don't remember whether near the base of the spine or close to the solar plexus. But the most important notion was that the string was to be tight, so perfectly tight, and straight up, like allowing an alignment or connection. In any case, I have noticed that keeping a good posture instead of slouching does affect my mood and my thinking. Exercising the muscles of the back was also helpful as it allowed for better posture.
I'd like to add that we shouldn't underestimate the power of ripple effects that result from our actions and even our very thoughts. *For example, if you put some things into your own words here on the forum, or open up and share etc., you kind of add to the groove and make it more easy for others (including you in the future!) to do the same.*
luc, your words helped me make a connection that I had not yet realized. I've noticed that my internal life has been more vivid in a positive sense in the past eight months more or less. And part of it has to do with merely acknowledging the possibility that there truly might be something as "myself in the future". And in retrospect it seems that one of the big markers of this period was posting
a story on the stalking thread. I had talked about it with many people over the years but sharing it here seems to have had a much deeper significance. And in this case in particular it was something I wished to share here even before all the events took place. As if it was stuck inside and the soul was waiting for an opening/opportunity to communicate it to those of a specific type of significance. And it seems to have had many "ripple effects", including me writing these words at this very moment.
