(Joe) Even things inside you being against you. The internal fight. You have faith that doing what it doesn't like that you will kind of achieve something worth having.
Some thoughts: I recently experienced something interesting - I have always been struggling with procrastination, especially addictive behavior such as spending time on social media, watching videos etc. when I'm supposed to work. I have battled it for years now, but always seemed to slip. Beginning of this year, out of the blue and without consciously having planned it, I suddenly stopped doing that, at least the specific "distraction during work" thing. Poof! I just had enough and stopped. Kind of amazing.
Point being, I think battling our demons and addictive behaviors and "default modes" is not (just) about taking baby steps, in the sense of slowly getting better. It's not about doing it to reach a certain goal or to achieve something. It's about struggling for struggle's sake! It's about seeing the unseen and deciding that the struggle is worth it, no matter the tangible (and conscious) results. So even if we think we make little progress, or even no progress at all, our struggle still strengthens us, accumulates energy, brings us closer to God, Truth and Beauty. Overtime, we begin to see clearer, get more in tune with the unseen world. Somewhere I read that struggle is humanity's birthright - sounds legit :)
Now, Gurdjieff talked about octaves and how there are certain "milestones" or thresholds that once crossed lead to a new stage. Paul talked about transformations. Stainton Moses' spirit teachings talk about spirits that, unbeknownst to us, set events in motion, mould our thoughts towards truth etc. IF we show ourselves to be receptive to such things, i.e. if we are in touch with the unseen reality. The Cs said that "ourselves in the future" will bridge the gap if we do our part. So who knows what will be possible if we do our part? We might not see any results, think it's all futile, crave for a "normal life" (aka. just go with the flow without struggle), but then suddenly we see it was, and is, worth it - in fact, it's the only thing worthwhile. And that's what it means to have faith - you struggle with yourself and the world, consciously, and you keep doing so against all odds, without anticipating any earthly results.
I mean, what are earthly results really worth? You can come to this life, predisposed towards certain things, with certain talents etc. and have a brilliant career, achieve tons of things, and maybe even do lots of good. This is the classic materialistic/Jewish motivation: you leave a "legacy", something good for "your tribe". But what is that really worth? This reality will end one day, and then it will all be gone. Nobody will remember us, we will have become a "dream in the past".
But what stays forever is the result of our struggle, the overcoming and transcendence of our prior state of existence. When this life ends, we will have achieved growth through our struggle. I guess this is what Gurdjieff meant when he said we need to grow a soul, otherwise nothing survives death. Perhaps this is the kernel of truth in the protestant idea, based on Paul, that faith is more important than "works" - it's the inner struggle, based on a perception of the unseen, that counts in terms of salvation, not our outward actions.
This is not to say that results and good deeds are entirely irrelevant. They remain important goals and motivators, especially if they are based on sincere love and a genuine desire to help and involve "getting over oneself". But doing what "it" doesn't like can look entirely different for different people, so outward actions alone, without context, cannot be a measure for spiritual progress.
So we shouldn't lose faith if we don't see immediate results from our struggles, because the struggle is always worthwhile. I think Laura said "patience is not only a virtue, but the means to growing a soul" - so let's be patient, and who knows what can happen if we all do our best in our daily struggles, or when it will happen, or how. Even the smallest victory in a sea of defeats brings us closer to the Source, and remains with us forever.
