Hello those who identify as human beings, I was going to share my personal experiences in the swamp, but after reading some of the shares on this thread I think this is the best place for them, especially after what Mariama wrote (page 6, post #78):
"So, people participating more on our forum, helping one another, discussing matters, sharing sincerely as Laura said, knowing that we are all in this together and that our individual acquired strength will strengthen the whole network might bring about more co-linearity, more faith and more love, but that means that we have to get over ourselves."
(Emphasis on, "getting over myself". Oops, sorry, "ourselves". Didn't mean to be possessive!)
I have had some especially hard lessons to learn which mirror what many have shared personally here. But probably THE lesson that has been mirrored most is what Cassandra wrote in regards to the lessons she learned via the romantic reading project (page 10, #144):
"One thing I have noticed is that I don't feel nearly as much self-pity for myself after having read of the countless trials and battles our heroes and heroines encounter. Also, after all the insults, gossip, humiliation and spite our protagonists have endured, I don't take things quite so personally anymore, or get quite so offended by insults, which seems to indicate that my self-importance levels have decreased somewhat. A lot of characters do not take themselves seriously. They know who they are and accept themselves as such. They can laugh about themselves. That's something I have to work on. Also, putting others first! I have to read a lot more. I am aware of what a critical and judgmental person I am. I have my own grave faults and I project these outwards onto others, rather than facing my own reflection in the mirror. I also need to network much more."
(Emphasis on, "decreasing self-importance".)
But the post which most affected me, which most reflected where I am now and which prompted me to share on this thread, was this one from Cyrus Wallace (page 18, post #268):
"With the world going downhills, I understand that networking is important. I have found myself in a tough situation, where I have retreated pretty much from all my social circles. They all bought the narrative and parrot whatever the media says. I can't stomach it anymore. I feel I'm getting punched in the stomach and say "UGH" out loud when I read them. I don't participate anymore in such conversations, therefore I'm out of friends! I feel I'm on my own now, other than this forum to sit and read what you people discuss. I don't feel intellectually sufficient to grasp everything, while I also have a terrible memory for numbers and names, so crystallizing that knowledge can be a challenge sometimes. Not to mention I most times lack the discipline to sit and meditate. I feel like this whole solving the problem approach, not lying about it in order to find a solution, should also apply to oneself. Be sincere with oneself and go from there. I also found out that I can't do that alone, so your discussions here help a lot to identify programs, reflect and project."
I, too, am now plumb out of friends. And I've allowed myself to wallow in self-pity, anger, and apathy. That's partially why I haven't post much lately (though I am moving too so I don't have much time at the moment).
I've shared before that I am a Biologist, and I received my Master's degree in an anthrax lab. The subject of my thesis was a virus, and I did some gain of function research. I shared a lot of that here:
These seemingly Orwellian times are testing each and every one of us in some way. It is impossible to escape the increasing sense of dread that many feel during the current Corona Virus outbreak, whether that stems from the threat of the illness...
www.sott.net
So a large part of my identity is as a Biologist who once worked in a biowarfare lab, which affords me a much clearer picture of this entire COVID scam; and being a part of this network has provided me a much larger scope of understanding regarding the entirety of these crimes against humanity that perhaps have their origin beyond this world. And I have spent a very large amount of time and effort sharing what I know (at least, the 3D stuff) with as many people as possible. In fact, I have known for a long time that the elites would probably use a pandemic "emergency" to further their goals of world control. During the Ebola scare seven years ago, for example, I shared this on every forum that I possibly could:
Coronavirus Pandemic: Apocalypse Now! Or exaggerated scare story? (post #10206)
Over the last twenty years, I have shared with most of my friends and family some of what I learned while in graduate school. They all know that I am a Biologist and that I got my graduate degree in genetics and bacteriology/virology. So they often used me as a resource when they had questions about science, and they trusted what I shared because I always look at all sides of every story before making a decision, as is dictated by those who practice science as it SHOULD be practiced.
That trust ENDED with the COVID pandemic.
I learned the hard way that most people are programmed to believe the lies that the MSM puts forward as truth, even in the face of verified conflicting information from the same official sources. Even people who have known me for my entire life, including friends and family members, trust what they hear on the news over people they have known for their entire lives, even though they formerly accepted me as a reliable source. And many of these same people now want nothing to do with me because I don't parrot what the TV says - and especially because I refuse to get the "jab".
So, I am having not only an identity crisis, but major heart shocks as I have been forced to let go of people I thought I knew, who I thought knew and cared for me, because they have learned to identify with what they hear from the MSM as the ONLY truth, and they even listen to these "sources" - none of these doctors or news anchors of whom they have ever met - over and above flesh and blood relatives who promote ideas that contest the popular narrative . I see that is happening to many people on this forum as well, and I definitely commiserate.
Just in these past six months, I have lost several family members and even possibly my best friend. Despite what I shared with them, they ALL took the jab, and most of them will not associate with me until I get one myself. My own former gaming group not only disregarded the information I shared with them, they openly MOCKED me for not believing the MSM line and they removed me from their social network. The ONLY people I know who still accept me, and listen to my take on things (and I never pushed what I knew as THE truth, but as "something to be considered" that I believed in personally), are my mother and my brother.
After all of this I am having severe identity issues myself, wondering if having gone through all that schooling it was worth it in the end, if I'd not be better off having been an idiot who at least has a crowd to hang with. I am spending a lot of time judging myself, wondering if things would have been better had I never opened my mouth in the first place. In most cases I had the information and only shared once asked, especially when friends asked if I had been vaxxed or not, but even that seems to have been too much.
But perhaps the hardest lessons I am learning are to not judge those who judged me, and to let go of thinking I know better than others what the truth is due to my background. What I think I know really means nothing in the big scope of things, except to myself and/or others who are open to listening. I know what has been done to my friends minds and why they won't listen to me; I shared some of that in my article. They are who they are because society molded them that way, and they never thought to question what they were told. And even though some of them had adverse reactions to the jab, they STILL refuse to even acknowledge the possibility that the jab had anything to do with it. Even here where I work, three people in their 50's - 60's, one of them an Iron Man athlete, died not long after getting the jab. There were a few rumors spreading about, but they were nipped in the bud once management reminded people of the HIPPA laws compounded by "the jab is safe and we wish you all would get it" meme. Not a word has been said about them since; it's like they have been swept under the rug.
It really is amazing how powerful the hypnotists who run the MSM are, how broad their reach and scope of influence, so much so that it can overwhelm flesh and blood relations and split apart couples and families as if a knife through butter. All it takes is to plant a seed in someone's mind that something is an inviolable truth (e.g. vaccines are GOOD), have them identify with it, and then let them loose in the world - and you've got an identity bomb that can be exploded at just the right time that is so powerful it can destroy even love and truth.
I understand now, and bitterly so, how the C's once said that "attachment" is what holds people in 3D. I never understood until now that the deepest attachments are ideas that people take in as inviolable truths that aren't, rather than simply physical things. I pray I am able to transcend that bitterness for my own good. What I am having the most trouble with however, is the hurt I feel inside. That too needs attention, and I will do that in due time.
Thank you all for listening, and for your shares here. Oh, and regarding this:
(Chu) Do we want to ask about the weakness though?
(L) What is the group's main weakness?
A: Lack of true collinearity.
From my perspective, this is actually also our greatest strength. What we have here is obviously stronger than even many family bonds, and very few groups I am aware of have the level of sharing and caring we do. It's just a matter of degree, and personal participation. I'm pretty sure we can get to 51% STO as a group if more of us are able to share as Cyrus Wallace did above. I know he reached me, and I needed it, so I respond in kind. This is not a time to hold back on what we feel and think, and a time to realize that all can be shared here without judgment. The only thing that held me back was my own judgments of myself. I hope I'm past that.
