So, I think this was a gentle wake-up call to remember that if we want to help, it has to be done honestly, because we feel it's right, and with faith in the process. And that can contribute to freeing up Laura to have the energy she needs as the "Queen Bee", instead of having to fix crises or taking on even more of a burden. I think it comes down to having a real sense of duty, like the worker bees. They don't go asking for instructions/a solution to petty problems/kudos/reassurance/etc. every time. They understand their role, and do their best.
I have been thinking about something similar while reading The Righteous Mind and after watching a documentary about Putin.
I was thinking about how Haidt puts it so bleak for us to be able to overcome our own tendency to be hijacked by emotional/addictive/mechanical thinking (the elephant) and was trying to conceive how would it be possible to do so.
So I thought that the only strong enough appeal to the elephant could come from a huge drive that is focused on others. By that I mean that the love within a group of people is probably one of the strongest forces that can set a new course for that elephant. Haidt also says that when speaking about groups and partisanship. It made me think also of the patriotism I see in Putin and the documentary.
I know that there's a danger to group-thinking and building an echo-chamber and all that. And "groupism" can also lead to terrible things, it isn't black and white. There's a healthy amount of individual development to be made and the ability to think individually is paramount. So I was thinking about this kind of love for a group of people, or our country, or even our species as human beings it's not a love that's fuelled by the fear of not being a part of it, of being rejected, but a love that IS already a part of it and therefore has the responsibility of doing the best so that this group/country/society will remain right and have the best outcome. In that way, love implies being able to be ruthless with any kind of corruption within the group and to take care of it too, and that can mean just saying what needs to be said even when the group seems to say another thing, expressing the doubts about a particular course of action, being willing to sort things out together, etc...
And that means taking care of one self in order to be a healthy and useful member of that group too. Developing oneself to highest possible standard, as Peterson puts it.
It makes think too about the rebellious attitude that comes from postmodernism which is basically based on resentment and therefore rejects any kind of real concern about the cohesion in all sorts of groups, be it the family, the country or "the majorities". Maybe they feel they're not part of anything and therefore feel constantly rejected and resented... and all the identity politics stuff brings a quick but false antidote to that unpleasant feeling by turning it into martyrdom and providing the entitlement to build a society with resentment as its foundation. It gives the satisfaction to think that everybody else is wrong and they are right, so whatever those different groups cherish, it must be attacked because it reminds them of their inadequacy.
Trying not to extend myself so much , I understand how being touched by love for what we do within a group/family/country/society (whatever calls you) is the thing that sets elephant in motion into the direction we decide is the best. And so we need to learn to love each other, in a very simple, but yet very difficult to apply manner; as Putin said in that documentary, by the attitude of being good (let's say excellent) to one another to the best of our ability, which implies a great deal of work so as to become more objective, considerate and aware. Ultimately, to understand that as part of that group/family/country/society, we are responsible of its outcome too, and what we do, our choices (the small ones, in our everyday life), do make a difference.
Just some thoughts...