PhoenixToEmber
Jedi Council Member
Being externally considerate is something we advocate, but it takes 2nd place to the truth of any given situation. In case everyone has forgotten, there is really one a couple of points that have been made here, that I believe most people accepted, and yet despite that, some people have managed to get their knickers in a twist and become offended and offensive. The couple of points are:
1) Heterosexual people have fairly strong inbuilt aversion to the sight or image of homosexual sex, especially male. That's just 'what is'. Most heterosexuals are aware of that and keep it under wraps. What is asked, in return, is that homosexuals keep their tendency to 'shove it in people's faces' under wraps. Again, everyone seems to agree this is a good idea.
2) That homosexuality has been promoted in an unhealthy way that today seeks to 'shove it in people's faces' (because of past oppression etc.) and force heterosexuals to accept crass public manifestations of homosexuality as 'normal'. Those that have been socially-shamed or otherwise manipulated to accept this excluded, most people do not accept such displays as normal, and it seems reasonable to suggest that that kind of provocation may, in the not to distant future, provoke a 'moralistic backlash' that is not good for anyone, particularly homosexuals.
A third minor discussion about whether or not common or garden variety homosexuality is 'normal' didn't really get anywhere, mainly I think because there is no universal standard that can be applied to ALL human beings and to which all adhere. The closest we can get to an idea of 'normal' is what the majority of people adhere to. In terms of sexuality, that is heterosexuality, and therefore in this sense, homosexuality is not 'normal'.
Now there are plenty of things that are 'minority interests' that have nothing to do with sexuality, but they are, for the most part, in no way offensive to the majority. The problem with homosexuality is that, in it's crass 'in your face' form, it IS offensive to the majority. So we come back to the idea of keeping such things 'under wraps'. It's really not rocket science, although it does seem to be very difficult for many homosexuals to REALLY understand and accept the need to take that approach, probably because many if not most members of the homosexual community have, in recent decades, been encouraged to do exactly the opposite, i.e. 'shove it people's faces'.
A minority 'interest' or activity could, for example, be an interest in dressing up as a werewolf (or something of that nature) and running around at night. Most people with such an interest would realize that they should not do that publicly, or if they didn't, they would quickly come to that understanding as a result of public feedback (which could be painful). There are loads of other examples of minority interests that we could think of (and that exist today) that would fall somewhere along the spectrum of more or less offensive to the majority. The more offensive, the more adherents should keep it under wraps. And has already been said a few times in this thread, it would be unwise for homosexuals, especially members of this forum, to believe that simply because there is a lot of support for 'gay pride' these days, that they are free to be as loud and proud and crass as they like.
As has also been said, let's all stop identifying so much with our goddamn sexuality. Aren't we meant to be working towards getting a handle on that very programmed aspect of our natures? Why would anyone with that understanding argue for their limitations in that way?
So anyway, what of the two points above does anyone disagree with, particularly the gay members of our forum?
I actually don't disagree with any of it, really. I think we do have to be more strategic in how we present ourselves - not because it means going back into the closet, but because things could always change quickly and perhaps one day the environment won't be as safe as it is if that aversion is so deeply ingrained in people. I suppose it's just hard to get past the fact that it "feels" like we're being told to just "get back in the closet" (even though, intellectually, I understand that's not exactly what's being said). And after having gone through so much pain and turmoil to break out of that closet on a personal level, in my personal life to the extent I was comfortable with, it makes it easier to emotionally react, yes. I said above and never denied it - I am identifying. I think I've improved since the first time this issue came to a head about me specifically in The Swamp a few years ago. I had to really reel myself in.
I just wanted to share my thoughts, is all. I was trying really hard to be honest and to do that respectfully, and I did tell Cyre that he was being a bit defensive - yet I understood why he was that way because I know him better than all of you, perhaps, and I know myself and how I am with this topic. I'm trying to bridge a gap in communication, I guess. I appreciate being heard.