The Gay "Germ" Hypothesis
- Thread starter H-KQGE
- Start date
Yeah, these examples certainly vary, which brings me to another important point IMO: there are no hard and fast rules that are set in stone. It's about having empathy in BOTH directions. Then we might get somewhere. That's also why I don't like the "you have no idea how it is to be/feel XYZ" - we do have empathy, and should use it instead of arguing for the impossibility to use it. If we do so, we can decide on individual cases how we see the situation, what's appropriate and not for both the hetero majority and homosexuals in their interactions.
I think Keit gave a good example of how such empathy works. We all have experiences that relate to one aspect or another of the experience of homosexuals in a hetero society.
I just had a talk with my wife about all of this, and let's just say she can have a grounding influence on my forays lol. In that spirit, here are a few thoughts on why I think gays can have a very hard time, and why you can't always brush this away with the external consideration argument:
Sexuality and romantic relationships are a huge part of our lives. So it's not easy to hide these aspects from others. People will always ask about your family/spouse etc., and I understand that for all the talk about external consideration, you don't want to constantly lie to people and tip-toe around the issue. Hence "gay pride": Enough of it, that is how I am, deal with it. I can understand this feeling. And it's not necessarily comparable to other issues such as having no children - although they are related, the issue starts later in life, and is more easy to circumvent.
Also, while there are gay people you would never suspect to be gay, there are also those who show strong "gay mannerisms". Not all of those are for show (which they can be), but are deeply situated in the personality, and start to show up early. Sometimes they escape conscious control. For those people it must be hell going through puberty, being insulted by their peers etc. I guess it's similar to other personality traits or physical traits that invite ridicule by peers, so it's not unique to homosexuals. But it's certainly a huge burden.
Then there is the wish of the minority group to fit into society. But as a homosexual, you cannot simply "adapt" - you cannot decide to become heterosexual. So I understand the feeling of being "condemned" and the wish to change that, so that you can kiss your partner in public without being judged, that you can do "couple things" like hetero couples etc. So you basically have two options: either you change society to suit your lifestyle, or you form your own communities. We are seeing both happening. It's kind of natural. And it's also natural in that sense for the gay community to try to change definitions of "natural", of the majority's view on sexual practices etc, it's the wish of being fully accepted into larger society, the wish to live a "normal" life. I can totally understand that. It's also natural in that view to try to (unrealistically) "abolish" people's instinctive emotional reactions, because no matter how tolerant society is, these are constant reminders that there IS a difference between mainstream society and the homosexual community after all, and that it will always be there. And this is painful.
So, it's a big conundrum. Maybe the problem just isn't solvable on a societal level. The only hope is for everyone to practice empathy, to see and understand the other side, on an individual level. And empathy needs truth to be effective - so we should all try to understand these matters. It doesn't help in the least, for example, to deny the "instinctive disgust" heteros feel, just as it doesn't help for certain Christians to postulate that homosexuals can "convert" with enough willpower. This is ignoring reality and actually stops empathy in its tracks.
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PhoenixToEmber
Jedi Council Member
I actually think reading this right at the beginning may have slanted my way of seeing this entire conversation, yes - maybe others as well. Part of it was the fact that most members seemed to ignore the comment, including Laura, Joe, those who normally nip such things in the bud, not realizing how terrible reading something like that might feel on a place like this for someone like me, and then to start feeling like perhaps that's how most of them feel and I'm not really welcome here (even in the face of people telling you that you are, and intellectually understanding the points they're making - it's like, emotionally, that center and the imprints on it and already at the forefront). It's also not easy to read that some of your straight friends find aspects of you disgusting, although when I think about it - we all find aspects of our friends disgusting. And I've always grown up aware the straight friends I interacted with in person who know me would be disgusted if certain acts were performed in front of them or if I hit on them (I'm bad at that anyway) - I would never do such things and never have. I do have compassion, in that sense. I'm not upset about it. Just seems like basic manners.
Even if and when a person gets to a point where they’ve come to terms with their abnormal sexuality, I think most would choose to be straight if it were possible. Not necessarily because we hate our gayness, but because we feel so hated for being this way and are aware and understand that everything would be so much simpler for us if we could just fit into the norm and not have to expend so much energy on covering every track. I think perhaps there's some resentment that has bubbled over and exploded in the 60's, that frustration of having to hide, and it became a backlash against the majority of society because it often feels unfair. This fear of repercussions and walking around eggshells that have been created in today's political climate that many heterosexual people seem to feel is how homosexuals and the lot have felt for a long time within straight society, and it's almost as if there's an undertone of spite toward "normal" sexuality in the LGBT+ movement (I sense it), and holding one's sex life as something more private and sacred between the two people involved. You always have to play it by ear - that's what I still do in my public life after "coming out" in my personal life, even though I would actually be generally accepted where I live as a "loud and proud"-type of homosexual. I do it because those are my values. Sadly, that's not how the majority of the LGBT community is - I don't fit into it, never have - and although Cyre once identified with it more, he's not feeling that so much anymore from what I can tell (just watch his YouTube channel). I've also had endless debates with him over these subjects. :P
I guess all I’m really asking is that everyone who doesn’t struggle with an abnormal sexuality should really sit for a moment and seriously think deeply about the fact (if you haven't before) that you never had to go through any of that (and maybe you are in a different way now with walking on eggshells around SJW alphabet people), how exhausting it could become sometimes depending on one's life circumstances, and to try and picture yourself in our shoes, here, reading this discussion about us amongst people we admire and respect, people we have more in common with than with other "gay people", perhaps (speaking for myself, at least), as they explain to us that we may not only be the result of a pathogenic infection but that some of them find this unchangeable aspect of us that has so inevitably colored our life experiences to be rather repulsive (even if I intellectually understand it is something that has to do with our private activity and no one's business anyway) after our own long struggle of coming to terms with that very part of us we grew up thinking was repulsive. LOL I have to laugh reading that back. I'm laughing at it now to make light of myself, I guess. It becomes a little frustrating when through all of it I start to feel just like Ant22 said, that perhaps we're expecting that aversion to just go away in people and that is definitely silly to assume. But I also started to feel like everyone expected us to react like little Buddhas off the bat on this topic, taking it all in stride without any emotions at all when we generally like these people (all of you) - which is the VERY reason it becomes upsetting. Wrap your head around that if you can. Is it mechanical? Hell yes. I wish I could place you in my shoes, though.
Another thing that also stuck out to me as most upsetting, besides what Yolliza said, was Adaryn's use of the words "brutal, repellent, and unnatural" to objectively describe the private sexual practices across the board regarding a particular body part and sexual practice, and that's what people like Cyre and I found rather patronizing. And then Laura restated that quote and supported it - to us, it just seems presumptuous of people to speak with such authority on sexual experiences so different from their own. I would never go into detail about what I do in private unless it was a big issue for me and I need help, but I would hope such intelligent people on a unique place like this would pay the equal respect I pay them by not passing such authoritative judgment on what I do in private and projecting how they feel about it onto it as the "objective truth" when I know (or presume) they don't know what it actually feels like. No one is trying to promote "the wonders of gay sex" here, but "brutal, repellent, and unnatural" isn't how I would personally describe any of my sexual experiences feeling to me, even in retrospect. I have a right to state that and will reiterate it. Sure, I know my anatomy and what certain things are used for, and we'll leave it there... but I'm just trying to make a point here without being graphic. Sex isn't just for procreation, despite the fact that that IS the central reason for its existence and in that sense certainly does make homosexuality abnormal and therefore strange to most people; most of us hopefully know by now it is also for bonding, oxytocin, stress-relief, etc. etc. etc. It can be tame and it can be used just as normally in that sense within a homosexual relationship, and that point can't just be deflected or dismissed simply because others find the practices repellent (even if that aversion is ingrained in them for all kinds of reasons, perhaps, which I'm willing to accept is probably the case).
Having said that: I completely understand why many, many, many people would be grossed out by a variety of sexual practices and you're free to feel that way. I feel that way about BDSM, the weird dog people stuff, and I could go on and on - it seems pathological to me, doesn't align with my values at all. I would prefer to not have to be in the same space as that stuff, although I've found myself around it before and seen things that made me comfortable. I just try to not let it affect me as deeply anymore (and you see a lot of weird stuff in Manhattan), walk away if I must, and remind myself why I don't do those things because they don't align with my own values. I don't mind people giving a peck or two in public, cuddling - I'l tolerate making out, but will probably judge you (lol) especially if groping is involved - but anything past that is a little excessive to me.
I appreciate everyone sharing their stories and perspectives. I'm reading every comment. I appreciate Keit's personal example, thank you for telling me that, I honestly didn't know that about you.
As exampled by the fact that I'm posting still, I'm obviously feeling more comfortable.
PhoenixToEmber
Jedi Council Member
duyunne
Jedi Council Member
At seven, a local male teen in my neighbourhood once found me walking home from the local convenience store. I was sent on an errand for my grandmother. Along the walk home this teen accompanied me, and shared with me some of his secrets, among them were masturbation and oral stimulation. He made it sound like it was tons of fun and that I would enjoy this.
I didn’t have a mother or father, and my grandmother never gave me any eduction as to what these things are. Also, since it was an older boy of whom I thought was cool at the time (he had a big tree house and many friends), I eventually was convinced of his offer to be taught these things in his room, and instead of going home, I went to his house.
We came to his living room where his sister was playing Nintendo with a game genie (which was far far funner to me that moment, causing me to want to cancel the event to occur in his room.) i was rather transfixed on his sisters game play and the teen was arguing and fighting about something in the kitchen with his mother.
His sister asked me “why are you hanging out Eddie?” She seemed concerned. She was visibly upset I was in her home.
I said, very innocently, matter in fact as if this is some normal thing, that Eddie was to teach me how to self stimulate (obviously not those words).
She immediately shut off the tv, opened the door to the kitchen and said “Moom, Eddies at it again, he said he’s going to teach this kid to (expletive).”
She then went upstairs to her own room, the mother, left the kitchen, and shooed me out of her house and her words were to stay away from her son, never to hang out with him, no reason given.
That moment I felt I was who did something wrong here. Eddie was visibly upset and yelling at his mom. I went home and told my grandma and she forbidd from going near him. No one ever explained why.
Eddie lived up the street from the local neighbourhood elementary school. All the kids knew him and many spoke well of him. Since this day, he successfully started a bullying campaign against me and he, and many of his friends took to defacing me publicly, calling me homophobic slurs.
I was seven!!
That’s my introduction to the entire gamut. I was mainly confused and incapable at the time to understand what had happened until probably 6 or so years later.
- No one ever explained to my why Eddie was in the wrong
- The behaviours of everyone led me to believe that I was wrong
- I ultimately just wanted to play game genie
At any rate, I never knew or understood why homosexuality was at 1990, clearly. This nativity almost led me down a dark path, Eddie and his closer circle of friends had terrible lives, I don’t even know what occurred with them as I fled the town at age 12, but I know before I moved that some of eddies clique were into drugs and street life. It was my own attachment to screen technology that saved me, considering the circumstances.
He had a clique of friends who all preyed as he did on very young, typically broken kids like myself.
If you want to know how a gay germ spreads I believe we have to go back to certain moments of our childhoods, and we have to be honest.
Not everyone is as lucky as me and my exposure to such content didn’t exactly end there, but if it wasn’t for Eddies sister, I doubt I’d be here. She kinda saved my life.
I didn’t have a mother or father, and my grandmother never gave me any eduction as to what these things are. Also, since it was an older boy of whom I thought was cool at the time (he had a big tree house and many friends), I eventually was convinced of his offer to be taught these things in his room, and instead of going home, I went to his house.
We came to his living room where his sister was playing Nintendo with a game genie (which was far far funner to me that moment, causing me to want to cancel the event to occur in his room.) i was rather transfixed on his sisters game play and the teen was arguing and fighting about something in the kitchen with his mother.
His sister asked me “why are you hanging out Eddie?” She seemed concerned. She was visibly upset I was in her home.
I said, very innocently, matter in fact as if this is some normal thing, that Eddie was to teach me how to self stimulate (obviously not those words).
She immediately shut off the tv, opened the door to the kitchen and said “Moom, Eddies at it again, he said he’s going to teach this kid to (expletive).”
She then went upstairs to her own room, the mother, left the kitchen, and shooed me out of her house and her words were to stay away from her son, never to hang out with him, no reason given.
That moment I felt I was who did something wrong here. Eddie was visibly upset and yelling at his mom. I went home and told my grandma and she forbidd from going near him. No one ever explained why.
Eddie lived up the street from the local neighbourhood elementary school. All the kids knew him and many spoke well of him. Since this day, he successfully started a bullying campaign against me and he, and many of his friends took to defacing me publicly, calling me homophobic slurs.
I was seven!!
That’s my introduction to the entire gamut. I was mainly confused and incapable at the time to understand what had happened until probably 6 or so years later.
- No one ever explained to my why Eddie was in the wrong
- The behaviours of everyone led me to believe that I was wrong
- I ultimately just wanted to play game genie
At any rate, I never knew or understood why homosexuality was at 1990, clearly. This nativity almost led me down a dark path, Eddie and his closer circle of friends had terrible lives, I don’t even know what occurred with them as I fled the town at age 12, but I know before I moved that some of eddies clique were into drugs and street life. It was my own attachment to screen technology that saved me, considering the circumstances.
He had a clique of friends who all preyed as he did on very young, typically broken kids like myself.
If you want to know how a gay germ spreads I believe we have to go back to certain moments of our childhoods, and we have to be honest.
Not everyone is as lucky as me and my exposure to such content didn’t exactly end there, but if it wasn’t for Eddies sister, I doubt I’d be here. She kinda saved my life.
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Sometimes ignoring means that you simply do not agree with, or wish to even acknowledge, a person's input/POV. That is the case with Yozilla. After all the years he's been here, I got tired of engaging with him over and over again when he came out with his off-the-wall, purely nutty, childish, asinine, off-topic, whatever, comments. I also figured that anybody who has been around awhile knows that. Why even validate his POV with a comment? He's like a pesky little 6 yr-old trying to get attention in a room full of adults engaged in a serious conversation.
That is, I DELIBERATELY ignored him and hoped that nobody else would give him energy either. The only one who did was the other 6 yr-old in the room.
The point was, and is, objectivity based on what can be observed in and about Nature and the Cosmos applied to an explanation of why/how heterosexual people - the majority and thus the NORM, feel such aversion to homosexuals. For the NORM those terms definitely apply to the ACTS. Those terms may not apply to the EXPERIENCES of the individuals involved, but that is SUBJECTIVE. That is to say, to each his own and all that.
Like the majority of the forumites I have pretty strong aversion to sodomy of any sort but this is too funny coincidence not to mention it...
Yesterday evening, still very much under the impression of this discussion and ruminating on some points presented here - I decided for some light entertainment and I chose Kingsmen - half way thorough the movie - when Eggsy is about to save the world and Swedish princess - my jaw literally dropped
That was so repellant it wasn't even funny. I have no idea why you would post it except as an example of how the Left/Libtard culture is seeking to impose its world view on the Majority.
I think that the following passage in Pierre's article, cited previously, deserves a re-read and some thinking:
Consider please, in the context of the above experiments, the probable outcome of the Gay/Homosexual/Queer movement which has a certain INTENTION that the research shows WILL TURN OUT THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT IS INTENDED.
That is a very scary implication for EVERYONE.
I hope that people have been noticing the increasing cosmic flux and weather/geological disruption that is running exactly in tandem with the increasing influence of this sector on the majority of society.
Think about the implications of engineering complexly confused masses of young people going into same sex relationships because of social influence, adding their psychic input to that kaleidescope of chaos.
Do you SEE where this is going?
Socially, it's heading for an explosion. And Cosmically, no doubt, destruction.
It truly is a replay of Sodom and Gomorrah.
So perhaps some 4 D STO designer engineered the hard-wired aversion to sexual perversion on purpose because they had better knowledge of how things actually work in the psychic realms of positive and negative polarities, and why and how those things are best (or worst) manifested in physical reality.
And perhaps, just perhaps, the wise homosexual/gay/queer/whatever, will consider this and consider the wider implications for their own survival. Perhaps it is a good thing that there is aversion? Perhaps it is a good thing that there is only a very small minority of "born" homosexuals? Perhaps Nature limits such manifestations for a REASON? And perhaps we ought to figure it out and apply the lesson in advance.
The wall I see humanity hitting is no respecter of persons and takes no prisoners.
Consider please, in the context of the above experiments, the probable outcome of the Gay/Homosexual/Queer movement which has a certain INTENTION that the research shows WILL TURN OUT THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT IS INTENDED.
That is a very scary implication for EVERYONE.
I hope that people have been noticing the increasing cosmic flux and weather/geological disruption that is running exactly in tandem with the increasing influence of this sector on the majority of society.
Think about the implications of engineering complexly confused masses of young people going into same sex relationships because of social influence, adding their psychic input to that kaleidescope of chaos.
Do you SEE where this is going?
Socially, it's heading for an explosion. And Cosmically, no doubt, destruction.
It truly is a replay of Sodom and Gomorrah.
So perhaps some 4 D STO designer engineered the hard-wired aversion to sexual perversion on purpose because they had better knowledge of how things actually work in the psychic realms of positive and negative polarities, and why and how those things are best (or worst) manifested in physical reality.
And perhaps, just perhaps, the wise homosexual/gay/queer/whatever, will consider this and consider the wider implications for their own survival. Perhaps it is a good thing that there is aversion? Perhaps it is a good thing that there is only a very small minority of "born" homosexuals? Perhaps Nature limits such manifestations for a REASON? And perhaps we ought to figure it out and apply the lesson in advance.
The wall I see humanity hitting is no respecter of persons and takes no prisoners.
PhoenixToEmber
Jedi Council Member
Sure, I can accept that that is how such acts would be perceived and described by those who felt such an aversion (and that many people do). That's a given. I can even respect that and have no desire to make people uncomfortable, overall.
I'm just trying to be honest of what was going on inside me and not hide it or deny it, even if some of it was an emotional center driven reaction that was irrational. I know I'm not exactly "over it" yet; it's not a simple thing to just knock off that chip. I suppose the constant reminder of having to do so because being gay can't be altered (reminds me of why Gurdjieff took his vows regarding hypnosis), but how one behaves can be, presents a special challenge as well as opportunity to those who are having the "gay experience" while also on an esoteric path - by being MORE externally considerate to others in response to the realization that there's a general sort-of aversion in many people to our private lives, is a useful practice in the Work-sense because it becomes something that reminds one to "remember themselves" by being more fully present and attentive to their environment and the other beings in it when meeting them for the first time, and while getting to know them over time, most of whom may not know or "See" as much as the next person and may not be so tolerant of us. Like anything, we play it by ear and come to their level, which goes for touching on touchy political subjects, or gauging how much a person is prepared to take regarding the UFO phenomenon and its implications in a conversation without offense, etc., etc. Discernment is important. I can see why applying it to navigating being gay is important, too.
nature
Dagobah Resident
There's a third solution: a cultural one, ie considering that kissing on mouth in public (hetero) is displaced, that such things are private and must not be displayed in public. So, it will go for homo's too. Speaking for me: Hetero or homo couples holding hands don't bother me, but seeing a couple (homo or hetero) kissing without discretion can bother me, because I consider that intimate things must stay private, not in front of others.
I can understand that a homo couple can be offensed if people accept public kissings from heteros and not from homos.
In fact, people are so conditionned to accept public kissings (cinema, films, novels, theatre, advertising, etc) that they see it as normal. and when they see it on another sexual group, only they see how much it is not acceptable. If the majority (hetero community) use this fact ( " homo kissing is disgusting") as a mirror, maybe it (the majority) will realize the improper aspect of public kissing, in general.
What do you think? Am I old-fashioned to consider public kissing or other intimate gestures in public as not proper? I talk about intimate gestures (kiss on mouth, hand on butt, etc), not gestures of affection (winks, caresses on cheeks or hair, holding hands).
PhoenixToEmber
Jedi Council Member
Many would find that old fashioned, yes, but I'm in the same boat as you. This is one of the reasons I feel even more ostracized from the "LGBT community" as a whole. I don't feel like I "belong" to it at all, aside from the fact that my sexuality seems to now socially place me into it by default once people know it. It's having the reverse effect on me, in a sense, because they're actually making gay men like me want to be less public and more private for fear of being associated with the highly questionable behavior and "norms" amongst such people - and the other side is not wanting to receive any favoritism or pity for being gay because there's more to me than that, so it makes me hesitant a bit, because I often wonder how many social interactions are even authentic after that information is revealed. I want my accomplishments in today's crazy world to be my own, and for my own efforts and work that will have little to nothing to do with my sexuality, not because LGBT-ness happens to be socially trendy right now.
All of it is just so confusing. It's not easy to navigate, and my feelings are always conflicted about being a gay man wondering about where I should stand in all of this, where it's heading in the wider picture.
nature
Dagobah Resident
So, it's an interesting experience for you
, as life on Earth is a lesson.
I think that the greatest challenge for about everyone is to ACCEPT WHAT IS, not only about the world, but about oneself.
I've spent my life battling weight issues and only in recent times have I come to understand why this battle has been lost: I have an extremely rare genetic mutation that compromises glycosylation and causes my body to get overloaded with waste products of badly folded proteins that can't be eliminated because they are the proteins involved in elimination! Some harsh reality there, for sure. Why me?
Not only that, but during many periods of my life when I was most afflicted with the consequences of this issue, I was soundly and roundly condemned by just about anyone and everyone, including my own family members. I was ridiculed and taunted in school, rejected by many peers who didn't want to hang out with someone who wasn't perfect, and so on. Most anybody knows the drill so I don't need to bewail my fate. But I sure spent years thinking privately that when I get out of this life, I'm sure going to have WORDS with whoever did that to me!
At some point, I had to accept myself as I was and be thankful that it induced me to grow and develop in ways I would not otherwise have done if I'd had the energy and means to be/do differently. I've always had tremendous - almost supernatural - mental energy (possibly a consequence of the same mutation), and I used a lot of it to just simply function physically when there was no physical energy at all. But the rest of it went into mental pursuits and explorations, the result being that I think we now - all of us here - have a very good handle on this reality not only in terms of who we are, where we come from, where we are going, but even some good glimmers of other realities. It's not such a scary place anymore once you understand it.
You're gay, I'm fat; you can hide being gay, I can never hide being fat; think about that for a bit.
So the first order of business is for people to just freaking accept who and what they are right down to the mechanics of the genetic body, and learn what is necessary to deal with that.
How can you live life as a gay/homosexual/queer/whatever person in the BEST way imaginable? How can you make your life count not only for yourself, your personal growth, but for others and most significantly, for the Universe itself?
I don't think that the problem is all that different from my own if you think about it. Question is: what will you do about it?
I've spent my life battling weight issues and only in recent times have I come to understand why this battle has been lost: I have an extremely rare genetic mutation that compromises glycosylation and causes my body to get overloaded with waste products of badly folded proteins that can't be eliminated because they are the proteins involved in elimination! Some harsh reality there, for sure. Why me?
Not only that, but during many periods of my life when I was most afflicted with the consequences of this issue, I was soundly and roundly condemned by just about anyone and everyone, including my own family members. I was ridiculed and taunted in school, rejected by many peers who didn't want to hang out with someone who wasn't perfect, and so on. Most anybody knows the drill so I don't need to bewail my fate. But I sure spent years thinking privately that when I get out of this life, I'm sure going to have WORDS with whoever did that to me!
At some point, I had to accept myself as I was and be thankful that it induced me to grow and develop in ways I would not otherwise have done if I'd had the energy and means to be/do differently. I've always had tremendous - almost supernatural - mental energy (possibly a consequence of the same mutation), and I used a lot of it to just simply function physically when there was no physical energy at all. But the rest of it went into mental pursuits and explorations, the result being that I think we now - all of us here - have a very good handle on this reality not only in terms of who we are, where we come from, where we are going, but even some good glimmers of other realities. It's not such a scary place anymore once you understand it.
You're gay, I'm fat; you can hide being gay, I can never hide being fat; think about that for a bit.
So the first order of business is for people to just freaking accept who and what they are right down to the mechanics of the genetic body, and learn what is necessary to deal with that.
How can you live life as a gay/homosexual/queer/whatever person in the BEST way imaginable? How can you make your life count not only for yourself, your personal growth, but for others and most significantly, for the Universe itself?
I don't think that the problem is all that different from my own if you think about it. Question is: what will you do about it?
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PhoenixToEmber
Jedi Council Member
I hear you, Laura. And I can see you let yourself be a little vulnerable here, too, which I appreciate. I don't know what being fat is like, no, and can only intellectually imagine what you've gone through and try to feel it as much as I can. And I am sorry you had to go through so much suffering - I can relate in my own way. You wouldn't be who you are without it, which is always what's so funny about this existence - and I wouldn't be who I am if I wasn't gay, despite the fact that I know I am so much more than that. My mental pursuits have also kept me going as well. It's what brought me here in the first place, and why I'm even still here despite some of the past occurrences that made me retreat for a while (almost for good).
Thanks for your insight.
