smile....
hmm, i dont wont to rehash constantly to everyone's annoyance so let me know when to end this discussion, i'll be fine with that. :)
i have re-read several times, & i admitted i was annoyed/angry but also mixed in words of genuine agreement to leave since i couldn't fulfil the terms - angry or not i saw leaving as a seperate issue to the accusation levelled at me. So i could mix annoyance/sarcasm in 1 sentence with genuine agreement in the next.
But do you recall that i said i was responding to being accused of pontificating & demanding?
i didnt initiate the slight.
I am anything but a P & D, even if my text unintentionally comes across that way to some people. Maybe our different cultures?
I was not angry b4 the accusation, only after it. But no one seems to care about my feelings. (i really dont want to sound like a weakling although its hard to grade one's own sensitivity)
So focussing on the later discussion seems like you guys r avoiding Anarts accusation. Not to sound childish, but SHE started it. Sorry Anart i thought u were a guy for some reason.
Does everyone think its ok to accuse me? Isnt it PA (or whatever term) to do so?
I think there is a very fine line of trying to describe a negative behaviour without sounding the same in return.
Anart said i was pontificating, not seemed to be pontificating. It wasnt gentle or open to debate - it was fact, end of discussion. And that hurt because i felt slapped in the face & then not allowed to defend myself from any quarter.
whether or not Anart intended that is in some way irrelevant, since that is how it came across.
Much the same way that it doesn't matter how brilliant your product is, if the customers dont like or want it then the product is a complete failure. I was taught that in Marketing, & they were right. Of course u could repackage/price the product but that's not the point. I felt hurt like you feel i was rude. Whether or not we intended that is only partially relevant, fact is we came across like that whether we wish to admit it or not.
(I dont mind genuine critique, i even look for it, its free education IMO. I like free.)
Please take it as a given that ordinary people like me would be hurt by that statement. Your internal forum dialogue rules & techniques are known to you not to newbs so while it may have been perfectly fine what Anart said in your opinion it wasnt in mine.
And i wasn't intentionality feeding, if i understand what that means. My logic is always simple (fewer headaches that way), send a parting shot at Anart for her slight (though i didnt think of it that way at he time) but also try to undersand the forum rules must be adhered to. I respected the forum enough to leave. I can think & feel opposite thoughts & feelings at the same time. I must admit i am unique, and many people misjudge me initially on what i say based on when others have said similar things. People tend to extrapolate too far as far as my expressions r concerned. Later they all like me because i walk my talk, & am always nice, or realise what i really meant was what i said not what other have said but meant something else (if that makes sense).
I also admit that because of time limitations i cant perfect my thoughts b4 submitting which makes them rougher & less accurate than intended & is another reason why i wanted to bow out. This forum's communication is very succinct between experienced members (ie when done properly) which takes time to write. I always feel nervous when i submit (anywhere) for that reason. I'm constantly conflicted about quickly sharing my opinions then moving on but knowing that i'll make mistakes in my hurry.
I have been thinking recently that i need to pull back on maybe half of what i do in life to be able to provide enough attention to the remaining items, & to rescue my health. eg, For 4 yrs i renovated my rental property after work, plus travel had me up leaving home 5 am, travel, work, travel, renovating, then quick snack, & bed by 11pm or often 1/2/3 am. I think adrenaline kept me going but when i finished something hit me like a brick wall & was sick constantly for a yr or 2 later. Rarely was i sick or even tired while renovating. I think i have also suffered permanent health damage, premature aging, one can never be sure of course, but from what i read in the medical journals people do a lot of long term damage when they dont sleep enough, etc.
BTW, i noticed that disagreements happened not just to me but to other newbies. I thought the newb texts were fine but experienced members provoked them into getting angry.
Hence why I suspect there is a gulf (subtle but powerful) in the communication format/language between newbs & seniors.
Anyway, as i've said several times i wont comment on thread topics till i've read the recommended works. Thats what everyone wants isnt it, for me to get up to speed b4 participating further?
PPS no matter how annoyed i get at people, or poor/slow car drivers, it lasts literally for seconds, & its never full on. Only twice in my life was i ready to explode (fight physically) & that was against dad. But even then logic kicked in & i just walked outside to cool off. I guess while i love to hunt, i hate to kill/hurt (so to speak).
BTW, please do not apologise or agree with me just to be nice or polite or to stop the debate. My aim is never to win but to find the best solution possible, i dont care whose solution it is. That is my (work) life in a nutshell.
time for bed 11:541pm, wife is getting annoyed, lol.
Apologies for the rough un-reviewed writing above.
cheers
rob :zzz
hmm, i dont wont to rehash constantly to everyone's annoyance so let me know when to end this discussion, i'll be fine with that. :)
i have re-read several times, & i admitted i was annoyed/angry but also mixed in words of genuine agreement to leave since i couldn't fulfil the terms - angry or not i saw leaving as a seperate issue to the accusation levelled at me. So i could mix annoyance/sarcasm in 1 sentence with genuine agreement in the next.
But do you recall that i said i was responding to being accused of pontificating & demanding?
i didnt initiate the slight.
I am anything but a P & D, even if my text unintentionally comes across that way to some people. Maybe our different cultures?
I was not angry b4 the accusation, only after it. But no one seems to care about my feelings. (i really dont want to sound like a weakling although its hard to grade one's own sensitivity)
So focussing on the later discussion seems like you guys r avoiding Anarts accusation. Not to sound childish, but SHE started it. Sorry Anart i thought u were a guy for some reason.
Does everyone think its ok to accuse me? Isnt it PA (or whatever term) to do so?
I think there is a very fine line of trying to describe a negative behaviour without sounding the same in return.
Anart said i was pontificating, not seemed to be pontificating. It wasnt gentle or open to debate - it was fact, end of discussion. And that hurt because i felt slapped in the face & then not allowed to defend myself from any quarter.
whether or not Anart intended that is in some way irrelevant, since that is how it came across.
Much the same way that it doesn't matter how brilliant your product is, if the customers dont like or want it then the product is a complete failure. I was taught that in Marketing, & they were right. Of course u could repackage/price the product but that's not the point. I felt hurt like you feel i was rude. Whether or not we intended that is only partially relevant, fact is we came across like that whether we wish to admit it or not.
(I dont mind genuine critique, i even look for it, its free education IMO. I like free.)
Please take it as a given that ordinary people like me would be hurt by that statement. Your internal forum dialogue rules & techniques are known to you not to newbs so while it may have been perfectly fine what Anart said in your opinion it wasnt in mine.
And i wasn't intentionality feeding, if i understand what that means. My logic is always simple (fewer headaches that way), send a parting shot at Anart for her slight (though i didnt think of it that way at he time) but also try to undersand the forum rules must be adhered to. I respected the forum enough to leave. I can think & feel opposite thoughts & feelings at the same time. I must admit i am unique, and many people misjudge me initially on what i say based on when others have said similar things. People tend to extrapolate too far as far as my expressions r concerned. Later they all like me because i walk my talk, & am always nice, or realise what i really meant was what i said not what other have said but meant something else (if that makes sense).
I also admit that because of time limitations i cant perfect my thoughts b4 submitting which makes them rougher & less accurate than intended & is another reason why i wanted to bow out. This forum's communication is very succinct between experienced members (ie when done properly) which takes time to write. I always feel nervous when i submit (anywhere) for that reason. I'm constantly conflicted about quickly sharing my opinions then moving on but knowing that i'll make mistakes in my hurry.
I have been thinking recently that i need to pull back on maybe half of what i do in life to be able to provide enough attention to the remaining items, & to rescue my health. eg, For 4 yrs i renovated my rental property after work, plus travel had me up leaving home 5 am, travel, work, travel, renovating, then quick snack, & bed by 11pm or often 1/2/3 am. I think adrenaline kept me going but when i finished something hit me like a brick wall & was sick constantly for a yr or 2 later. Rarely was i sick or even tired while renovating. I think i have also suffered permanent health damage, premature aging, one can never be sure of course, but from what i read in the medical journals people do a lot of long term damage when they dont sleep enough, etc.
BTW, i noticed that disagreements happened not just to me but to other newbies. I thought the newb texts were fine but experienced members provoked them into getting angry.
Hence why I suspect there is a gulf (subtle but powerful) in the communication format/language between newbs & seniors.
Anyway, as i've said several times i wont comment on thread topics till i've read the recommended works. Thats what everyone wants isnt it, for me to get up to speed b4 participating further?
PPS no matter how annoyed i get at people, or poor/slow car drivers, it lasts literally for seconds, & its never full on. Only twice in my life was i ready to explode (fight physically) & that was against dad. But even then logic kicked in & i just walked outside to cool off. I guess while i love to hunt, i hate to kill/hurt (so to speak).
BTW, please do not apologise or agree with me just to be nice or polite or to stop the debate. My aim is never to win but to find the best solution possible, i dont care whose solution it is. That is my (work) life in a nutshell.
time for bed 11:541pm, wife is getting annoyed, lol.
Apologies for the rough un-reviewed writing above.
cheers
rob :zzz