Thoughts on intuition for decision making

It is quite evident to me that you are "letting yourself go" and you believe that "someone chooses for you".

This is just an example, but a child expects his parents to tell him what to do, something that does not happen when he is an adult.

Knowledge is all we need, say the C's (I'm paraphrasing) and by having it, little by little a change can happen in you, as you have already mentioned.
 
It is quite evident to me that you are "letting yourself go" and you believe that "someone chooses for you".

This is just an example, but a child expects his parents to tell him what to do, something that does not happen when he is an adult.
This is true! I have realized that too that it seemed like a coping mechanism for me because I grew up with controlling parents, and understand that they're just doing their best to show love/protection in ways they know how. It is really hard growing up when you're saying your thoughts and they think you are talking back to them and I'm sometimes punished for it. I have forgiven myself and them too for our ignorance on how to deal with the situation. I grew up in the Philippines and noticed that the people with the same generation with my parents have similar parenting style. I have to deal with connection issues and other pain and Christianity at that time was like a perfect escape for me or the only thing I know how to cope.

I just find it interesting and curious about the practice Im doing because it is helping me be grounded most of the time. I resort to it in a lesser degree now but when I meditate, I can talk to these entities so I just flow and stay vigilant.
 

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