goyacobol said:
sitting,
I have been thinking about you and your presence on the forum. I know that the mirror of the forum is meant to help us but I think we also have our own internal mirror that sometimes is more like the predators mind.
We all have our faults to work on and none of us have completed the Work. For you to apologize and say that sincerity is something you are working on is enough for me. I don't know what more you could do other than not give up on yourself.
I for one miss your posts and ability to challenge others to "think with a hammer" and deeper on many topics. I consider you a friend and a forum member that has unique perspectives that are not always expected or easily understood. I hope you will go "forward" as you put it.
Just because I don't see everything from others perspectives doesn't mean I don't appreciate their input. Heck they might be right about many things. FWIW :(
You make some good points, goyacobol. While it is, and was, important for sitting to sit with the feelings of recognizing some parts of himself for what they are, it is also important to realize that those hard-to-face tendencies which have been pointed out are certainly not all there is to him; just a feature (or cluster of features) that requires some humility to admit to, and the use of some tools to help address. We don't have to fall prey to black and white thinking, or splitting, but can seek new ways of being and understanding to push through.
He should also know that there are a number of us here (present company included) that have received robust feedback as well. And that he needn't feel alone on this sometimes difficult (and sometimes
very difficult) journey of growth and self-awareness. I know something of how he is feeling and something of the work involved of dusting one's self off, admitting to flaws, working on grokking those flaws, and getting on with the business of being here to the best of one's ability. We've got to do the best with what we've got, but even through challenging times - or especially through challenging times - we have to remind ourselves of what really matters to us, and how we can give of ourselves to be or stay connected to it.