Was my personality asleep?

[andi]

What I DO NOT UNDERSTAND is the dynamics of what happened. Thinking back I see no trigger for the change, unless it was just a result of extra efforts to maintain self-remembering that day.

Could I please get some feedback on what the DYNAMICS and underlying CAUSES of the actual event were please? Appreciated.

Did you, out of curiosity read the whole thread on self remembering? It is long but it can clarify many of your questions much better then anyone can do.
Also, it is my impression that you are trying to rush an understanding based on your last phrase.

It is my subjective experience that if you actually take the time to investigate this, if you are really interested, then the realization would be much deeper and become part of yourself in contrast to just having someone explain you the whole thing - this thing that is actually your experience and is subject to you alone.

I hope this does not create misunderstandings, Abe. Only my 2cents.

 

[abeofarrell]

What I DO NOT UNDERSTAND is the dynamics of what happened. Thinking back I see no trigger for the change, unless it was just a result of extra efforts to maintain self-remembering that day.

Could I please get some feedback on what the DYNAMICS and underlying CAUSES of the actual event were please? Appreciated.

Did you, out of curiosity read the whole thread on self remembering? It is long but it can clarify many of your questions much better then anyone can do.
Also, it is my impression that you are trying to rush an understanding based on your last phrase.

It is my subjective experience that if you actually take the time to investigate this, if you are really interested, then the realization would be much deeper and become part of yourself in contrast to just having someone explain you the whole thing - this thing that is actually your experience and is subject to you alone.

I hope this does not create misunderstandings, Abe. Only my 2cents.

Thank you Andi. Yes, I have read through the whole thread on self-remembering, that is why I brought up the point that many people have different concepts on this topic.

I totally agree with you that I am rushing to understand. I am sure that things will unfold naturally if I do not force it. Thank you, Andi, for helping me refocus.

Regards,

Abe

 

[Buddy]

Hi abe. What you described is not in my experience, so I can't comment on your interpretation. I can, however, say that I enjoy how you articulate the Work concepts when you are comparing two or more perspectives from the authors you mentioned. I was actually hoping you could elaborate more of your practice and understanding of Self-remembering, though I understand that's not the topic at hand.

Um, I can't find the link now, but in 2008, a scientist named Jill something who worked the lab at the Harvard Department of Psychiatry reported a similar experience. She described the temporary shutting off of the language center (in the left cortical hemisphere). At this time she could not speak nor could she think about speaking nor process any sounds of language present in her environment. It wasn't an unpleasant experience by any means. In fact, she also described a kind of 'feel good' feeling as well as seeing herself from an entirely different position or perspective. I don't think she used the word 'euphoric' to describe the feeling, but it was definitely a pleasant neurochemical flood of some kind.

Long story short, it turns out a blood clot on the brain was impinging on the language center and had started hemorrhaging. As I recall, she wound up having an operation to have the clot removed.

Please understand, I'm not saying anything like this has anything to do with you. You may actually be laughing right now if the idea seems that far out. :D And as far as I know, your interpretation of your experience may be on the mark. My point is that physiological processes can indeed have cognitive manifestations since all is interrelated. You may want to think about whether you have a tendency to be dismissive of select input just because, at the moment, it seems to be not pertinent?

FWIW

 

[ScarletBegonias]

Um, I can't find the link now, but in 2008, a scientist named Jill something who worked the lab at the Harvard Department of Psychiatry reported a similar experience.

This Jill? ;)

_http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/jill_bolte_taylor_s_powerful_stroke_of_insight.html

 

[Buddy]

That's it! Thanks! :)

 

[abeofarrell]

Bud and Scarlet, that is a scary thought! I hope I am not going to have a stroke or something! Still, when I had the experience it wasn't like I lost my comprehension of spoken language, it was more like I was not interested in using my logical mind, but rather wanted to just BE and FEEL. I guess. I just have to work things through for myself I think.

 

[ana]

In the lesson I was very much aware of myself as an observer observing my own thoughts and feelings, observing my posture, my tone of voice, my responses to the student. I was also observing her so I could externally consider her rather than just respond to her passively. WHILE I was in this state I observed my train of thought in relation to the topic just STOPPED. The desire to to think about the topic also disappeared. Observing myself I saw my emotional response to her. I felt happiness in the relationship with the student, I felt relaxed (I should say Abe felt happy and relaxed, but please excuse me for explanation's sake). I laughed out loud in response to the happy feeling coming from my emotional center, not a huge laugh but a small one. At that point I was still self-observing so I saw that I was acting mostly from the emotions and that the thought center was not active. The student laughed in response and asked what was funny. I said that I was happy to be there talking about this topic and asked her to give me a minute to think how to respond well to what she said. As I started talking to her in that way my thoughts engaged and the "state" came to an end.

Ok, the way you explained it before implied that you simply laugh without much consideration or concern for what the student was conveying, thanks for the aclaration.

Regarding my use of the word EUPHORIA, actually now I have thought carefully about the actual experience I believe that EUPHORIA was just my interpretation of the laughter and the feelings.
No, I do not believe that it was a defense mechanism. I could observe clearly the source of the happiness. It is true that I should not focus on such experiences, and I haven't. It has however been a constructive experience for me as it has shown me how much my personality is controlled by the Thought Center, and how I am usually so blind to my emotions. I posted here not because I want to dwell on things, but just to get some feedback.

So it seems you may had a spontaneous conexion with the feeling center and it gave you a new knowledge regarding "parts" in yourself, you saw and observed yourself in a new way, my thought was that you get trapped by the "feeling" without much external consideration, but your explanation above suggest that you were able to maintain part of the attention outside yourself.

So I do not see that my personality slept. I also do not accept that I was not self-remembering as according to all I have read, and according to my daily continual efforts I am sure that I was observing and also I was conscious as the observer. I DO think that for some reason my Thought Center became passive whilst the Emotion Center became active. I also think this was a breakthrough for me as I am a Man III, and my logical mind always gets in the way.

I just think, the fact that you saw and observed yourself in a new way is not enough to conclude the above, practice and observation must continue, only this will give us enough "states" so as to assess and differenciate, osit