What role do thoughts play in illnesses like cancer and less severe conditions? Childhood trauma, one key factor?

[Cosmos]

Please put this thread into an existing one if you think it would be better.

I recently came across something the C’s said that got me thinking, namely:

„A: Every living being while it contains life force, strives toward the creative principle. If there are thought patterns fueled by emotion that are entropic, one of two things can occur. First, the creative force can conflict with the entropic thoughts. The body will then tend to try to encapsulate the force and protect itself. Second, if the balance between creative and entropic force is more equal, the entropy becomes the pattern of the creation, and it becomes systemic.“

The whole discussion and answers leading to and following that answer is pretty interesting and perhaps crucial as well:

Q: (L) Today is Saturday, the 22nd of June 2019. [Review of those present] Let us begin.

A: Knowledge does protect! But it must be utilized!

Q: (L) And who do we have with us this evening?

A: Gnosissiaea! Cassiopaea in call.

Q: (L) So... The theme of the session I guess will be knowledge and its utilization?

A: Yes. You all have learned and applied many lessons; others as well; some not so much. Knowledge is like the parable of the talents.

Q: (L) And the parable of the talents, does everybody know it?

(Joe) Use it and it grows.

(L) Use it and it grows. If you don't use it, you lose it. Okay. Let's first ask about Pierre's situation. On Friday we got the news that he's got another... um...

(Artemis) Tumor.

(L) Tumor. I don't want to say it!

(Artemis) I know. I helped.

(L) So he has actually three very tiny new tumors. I would like to understand what the deal is here.

A: Every living being while it contains life force, strives toward the creative principle. If there are thought patterns fueled by emotion that are entropic, one of two things can occur. First, the creative force can conflict with the entropic thoughts. The body will then tend to try to encapsulate the force and protect itself. Second, if the balance between creative and entropic force is more equal, the entropy becomes the pattern of the creation, and it becomes systemic.

Q: (L) Can I take a rest? PHEW!

(Artemis) Me too!

(L) Read that back to us. [Review of answer]

(Artemis) Which means he needs to fight his entropic thoughts or patterns, I guess?

(L) Well, I have to think about that. I can't even formulate a question.

(Andromeda) So if the entropic and creative forces within a person are equal, then... What was the last part?

(Joe) "If the balance between creative and entropic force is more equal, the entropy becomes the pattern of the creation, and it becomes systemic."

(L) So, if a person tends more toward creation life, and the entropic thoughts or energies are not dominant, the body tries to encapsulate it and protect itself. But if there is...

(Artemis) If it's evenly matched, then that can cause bad physiological effects.

(Pierre) I think they are saying in a nice way that when there is too much entropy, the pattern of the creation becomes entropic and systemic. I think they are alluding to the creation of tumors. Systemic, recurring creation of tumors...

(Joe) I think the first one applies to you more. Systemic would mean...

(L) A systemic body type thing.

(Chu) Metastasis everywhere.

(Pierre) So these tumors in this sense are symptoms of the body encapsulating those entropic thoughts. It's a conflict, and the way the creative force copes with those entropic thoughts and emotional things is by isolating them.

(L) Isolating, right.

(Pierre) So they don't contaminate or spread. Is our understanding right?

(Artemis) Let them finish what they were saying first.

A: In Pierre's case, good encapsulation is in action. What is necessary is to deflate the entropic thought programming.

Q: (Artemis) And what was the question you had?

(Pierre) Well, they answered the question. So it's an encapsulation process. That means I'm not overloaded with negative entropic thoughts. But now I have to break those entropic thought patterns and programming.

A: You must become immune to the triggers!

Q: (L) So, I guess you need to expose yourself to certain thoughts again and again, using the “Doctrine of the Present” or something like that, until you master them, control them, and can put them at a distance.

A: Yes

Q: (Artemis) So we need to trigger you.

(L) No, I think there are certain things that trigger him already.

(Joe) It could be certain scenarios or dynamics. With Pierre, it relates to other people. So those other people are triggering events or scenarios that tend to get him stuck in circular thought processes. Then he runs away. So you should learn to expose yourself to that...

(L) Yeah. I guess in a sense when you try to make peace about something sometimes, like for example not wanting to deal with this uncle situation you had to face recently, basically you set up a conflict inside yourself. Sometimes, it's better to get things outside than it is to keep it inside. But you have to get it outside with knowledge.

(Andromeda) Being aware of what you're doing while it's happening.

(L) Yeah, it's like you can be angry, and not sin. Righteous anger. Okay, so I guess the next question is kind of along the same line. {Name Redacted} is very concerned about his health. I guess part of the answer is already there. His situation is a little more systemic because it's like a cholesterol problem. It's a full body problem. Does that mean that there is more of entropic thoughts or energy involved?

A: Indeed! {Name Redacted} was warned and advised some time ago. He chose to not just ignore suggestions, but to directly act in opposite directions.

Q: (L) So does that mean you're not going to give him any more advice?

A: One last: It is almost too late as his brain is already suffering the effects of advancing sclerosis and will be almost, if not entirely unable to take these words to heart. But, {Name Redacted}, recall the advice about the dog? It was taken as a joke, but it was loaded with information and coded symbolism. You took the wrong turn almost immediately, and the decline began.

Q: (L) What's the symbolism of the dog?

(Joe) The symbolism of the dog is that he picked a dog that he knew by breed and by looking at it that it was headstrong, willful, defiant, and would do its own thing regardless of what anyone told it to do. That's exactly what {Name Redacted} self-identifies with. It's his self-image. He wanted a dog that reflected exactly what he wanted to be in life.

(L) Is Joe right?

A: Close enough! It is also more than that. The main problem is emotional programming behind the decision. Like all in your realm, {Name Redacted} is programmed to suffer or cause suffering for others. When the choice is made for entropy, as previously described, it can become systemic. And the victim will naturally ignore what is good and follow what is entropic.

Q: (L) I gotta rest my arm again!

(Artemis) Me too!

[Review of answer]

(L) In other words, they make a decision and then all of their actions follow from that decision. They do those things that compound the problem?

(Joe) Negative feedback. It becomes harder and harder to pull yourself out of it.

(L) Yeah. Well, well, well...

(Artemis) Okay, they want to finish, I think...

A: Big decisions made as a culmination of a series of small entropic decisions will then be taken leading to utter disaster.

Q: (L) So, if I'm understanding this correctly... Putting this together with stuff you've said previously, all the cells in your body have these little antennae that connect with information, the soul self, the information field, all that different kind of thing. So, when these different cells connect up with these kinds of energies, then it changes them in some way. I think that {Name Redacted}'s major health issue is cholesterol from what I understand.

(Chu) Or his liver maybe. We don't know.

(Pierre) What is it? Maybe we could ask. They mentioned sclerosis.

(L) Sclerosis is the result of cholesterol deposits on the blood vessels.

(Joe) But you can have sclerosis of the liver as well, right?

(L) Yeah. But usually, if you have that, you have sclerosis of the blood vessels in general.

(Andromeda) That could be from cholesterol, right?

(Joe) I dunno.

(Chu) But in general, sclerosis is a hardening of tissues.

(L) Yeah. There are genetic components, but I suppose it's like they say in the genetics book: you can have the genes for something but never have the condition; it all depends on your mental attitude and actions, I guess.

(Joe) Can we just ask when they said he's already suffering the effects of advancing sclerosis, do they mean sclerosis in a general sense, or of the liver, or what? The brain?

A: Blood vessels.

Q: (Pierre) So it can affect everything.

(Andromeda) Basically his body keeps sending out this cholesterol to counter something...

(L) Something that he's doing or eating or whatever.

(Andromeda) ...in his system, and that accumulates and hardens the vessels.

A: He is not truthful.

Q: (Pierre) About his diet?

(Chu) About what?

A: Diet and other things.

Q: (L) Well, it seems to me that probably the main way he's not being truthful is in not being truthful with himself.

A: Indeed. He has convinced himself that his programmed self-image is the real self. And, sadly, it soon will be.

Q: (L) Well, have we covered that topic enough? Now, what do we have of global importance?

(Joe) Well, we should ask a bit more about Pierre first. What action can be taken from a physical perspective?

A: Knowledge will guide you.

Q: (Joe) Well, we'll continue with the vitamin C... I guess we don't need to ask about that.

(L) We were going to do it every other day, if possible.

(Andromeda) Is it better to do it every other day, or two times a week?

A: Every other day for one cycle, then every three days for a cycle, then back, etc.

Q: (Andromeda) What's one cycle?

(Chu) A week, a month?

A: 8 days.

Q: (Joe) Every other day for 8 days. Then every three days...

(L) Probably for a period of 9 or 12 days. The number of times creates its own cycle.

(Chu) So 4 doses in each cycle.

(L) Alright. Now what?

(Joe) Oh, I wanted to ask one more thing about Pierre: the anti-parasitic thing.

A: Useful!

Q: (Joe) Is it useful for other people here as well to get rid of critters?

A: If needed.

Q: (Joe) How do we know if we need it?

A: Knowledge.

Q: (L) What about muscle testing for whether you need it or not?

A: Yes

[INTERMISSION: "Let's all go to the lobby, let's all go to the lobby. Let's all go to the lobbYYY, to get ourselves a treat!"]

Q: (Pierre) I want to make sure I understood how something triggers these entropic thought programming things. I think it's along the lines of what you mentioned with my uncle. I also thought about the forum thread with Approaching Infinity. It seems that for some reasons - and I know those reasons, actually - that as soon as there is a hint of conflict and potential negative stuff, I retract. I close inside a shell, so I keep it in myself. That starts those negative thought loops that are probably the source of those tumors. I want to know if that's right?

A: That is precisely the problem!

Q: (Pierre) Oh gosh. For me, I don't exactly know why actually, but for me, conflict is absolutely terrifying. It terrifies me. I think it was because when I was a kid and there are potential conflicts, it wasn't my mother. It was my father who would get violent physically. It terrifies me. It's a very big challenge, but I don't have anything to lose. It terrifies me. There are so many times that I've betrayed myself. It's like a betrayal of the soul or whatever you have in you, and I've done it so many times.

(L) That's what they mean about getting immune to the triggers. Remember what Castaneda said: You have to face petty tyrants before you can face the unknown. Facing petty tyrants should be done with joy. You should be enjoying yourself blue, you know!

(Andromeda) That means not really taking it TOO seriously. It has to be taken seriously, but not deadly serious.

(Joe) What precisely was terrifying?

(L) I think it's the reaction of a child that fears loss of survival. If the parent gets that way when there's a little disagreement, the child is afraid the parent will cut off food, shelter, etc. It means death.

(Pierre) Any kind of conflict or disagreement will send me into those emotional loops. I will retract.

(L) That's when you need to start TALKING about it. Talk about it with us. And believe me, the fear of the bull is a lot bigger than taking him by the horns. When you determine to take him by the horns, he comes and puts his head down and he lets you take him. Okay, any questions on other subjects?[…]

One of the things in the above that got me thinking is how different what the C‘s said actually seems to be from what everyone thinks are “the causes“ of severe illnesses like Cancer (an perhaps many other conditions as well?).

In effect, considering the context of the discussion, it almost sounds like thoughts, and in specific, thought loops that are entropic, might be a major thing that creates and/or fuels illnesses like cancer? So, that sounds quite the other way around on how we today think of it?

Further I was thinking about Pierre’s specific context and also thinking about my own STRONG tendencies towards not so good thoughts and thought loops and that there might be a chance that at least some of it has been “installed“ in childhood too.

So, that got me thinking, could there be a correlation between developing malignant cancer in later years and thought patterns that have been “installed“ in childhood through traumatic experiences that then got reinforced over and over again, ever since, in the mind of the traumatized?

Further I thought, maybe the primary key for “fighting against“ cancer and other illnesses might actually start and/or be most effective by reprogramming your thoughts and thought patterns? And that all the other usual stuff can and should help but not as the only ingredient?

The mentioning of emotions is puzzling too, and perhaps the only real/effective way/method we humans posses to work against something that might be in some cases so deeply ingrained/programmed, is working on thoughts, even if (at least in some cases) emotions are the real/main issue?

Also, could it be that traumatic childhood experiences could be one of the major factors for cancer (and other stuff)? And/or entropic thoughts conflicting with creative energy in general, not necessarily only reinforced through traumatic childhood experiences?

Further that got me thinking so I used Grok for the following question. Could it be that there is a correlation between Cancer and childhood trauma? To which Grok answered pretty much that there is a real and perhaps systemic connection/correlation:

Prompt: Is there a correlation between childhood trauma in general and severe childhood trauma in particular to the later development of malignant cancer?

Yes, research indicates a positive correlation between childhood trauma (often measured as Adverse Childhood Experiences, or ACEs—including abuse, neglect, household dysfunction like parental substance abuse or domestic violence) and an increased risk of developing malignant cancer (i.e., cancer) in adulthood. This association appears in multiple studies, systematic reviews, and meta-analyses, though the strength varies by factors such as the type/severity of trauma, specific cancer types, sex, and mediating pathways.The landmark 1998 CDC-Kaiser Permanente Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Study first identified a dose-response relationship: higher ACE scores (cumulative number of traumas) were linked to higher odds of cancer diagnosis later in life, alongside other chronic diseases.Subsequent research has built on this:

• Systematic reviews and meta-analyses consistently show that individuals with higher ACE scores (especially ≥2 or ≥4) have elevated cancer risk compared to those with zero ACEs. For example, one meta-analysis of 18 studies (over 400,000 participants) found increased risk with at least two ACEs.
• Specific types of trauma, such as physical abuse, sexual abuse, or emotional abuse, have been associated with higher odds of any cancer or site-specific cancers (e.g., lung cancer, cervical cancer, breast cancer in some studies).
• Severe or multiple/prolonged trauma often shows stronger associations, reflecting the dose-response pattern where more intense or cumulative exposure heightens risk.

Mechanisms are not fully understood but likely include:

• Behavioral pathways → Higher ACEs correlate with smoking, heavy alcohol use, obesity, and lower cancer screening rates (e.g., mammography/Pap smears), which are established cancer risk factors.
• Biological pathways → Chronic stress from trauma can lead to inflammation, immune dysregulation, altered hormones, or epigenetic changes that may promote carcinogenesis.
• Not all associations are fully explained by these factors; some persist after statistical adjustment.

Important nuances:

• Associations are often stronger in women for certain cancers (e.g., breast, cervical), with mixed or weaker patterns in men for incidence (though some studies show higher cancer mortality in men with high adversity).
• One large cohort study found childhood adversity linked to higher risk for some cancers (e.g., breast, cervical) but lower risk for others (e.g., melanoma, brain/CNS), highlighting cancer-type specificity.
• The link is probabilistic (increased relative risk), not deterministic—many with high trauma do not develop cancer, and many cancers occur without trauma history.

Overall, the evidence supports childhood trauma—particularly when severe or multiple—as a risk factor for later malignant cancer, though more research is needed on exact mechanisms and interventions. Preventing or mitigating ACEs could contribute to upstream cancer prevention efforts. If this relates to personal concerns, consulting a healthcare professional is recommended.

Then it got me thinking. Could the level of cancer issues in specific countries correlate to the level of entropic thought landscapes in any given society in general?

So I used Grok to find out where most cancer issues today are manifesting in countries and where the least. Perhaps quite interestingly, pretty much all the countries where this is most prevalent according to Grok are western countries while it is also noticeable that in very poor almost exclusively non western countries the rates are the lowest:

Prompt: Which countries on earth today (not in the past) have the highest rates of malignant cancer (top 20) and which the lowest (top 20). It must be representative and objectively comparable between countries, meaning for example, that if there are only a Million people living in one country and many millions living in another that that number doesn’t mess up the objectivity of the results. Include all countries on earth in the search.

The most reliable and comparable data for malignant cancer rates (excluding non-melanoma skin cancer where specified, as is common for fair cross-country comparisons) comes from GLOBOCAN 2022 estimates by the International Agency for Research on Cancer (IARC/WHO). These use age-standardized incidence rates (ASR) per 100,000 population (using the world standard population). This adjustment accounts for differences in age structures across countries, ensuring objective comparability regardless of population size (e.g., small nations like Denmark vs. large ones like the US or India).These rates reflect new cases (incidence) of malignant cancers, standardized for age to enable fair ranking. Higher rates are typically seen in high-income countries with better diagnostics, screening, longer life expectancy, and higher exposure to risk factors (e.g., smoking, obesity, UV exposure). Lower rates often occur in lower-income countries, partly due to under-diagnosis, different risk profiles (e.g., infections vs. lifestyle cancers), and younger populations.Note: Data covers estimates for 185 countries/territories in 2022 (latest comprehensive global dataset as of 2026). Rankings can vary slightly depending on inclusion/exclusion of non-melanoma skin cancer (NMSC), but the lists below align with sources using all cancers including NMSC for consistency with top sources like World Cancer Research Fund (WCRF, based on GLOBOCAN).Top 20 Countries with Highest Age-Standardized Cancer Incidence Rates (ASR per 100,000, both sexes, 2022)These are predominantly high-income countries in Europe, Oceania, and North America.

1. Australia — 462.5 (highest globally, driven by skin cancers and strong detection)
2. New Zealand — 427.3
3. Denmark — 374.7
4. United States — 367.0
5. Norway — 357.9
6. (Other high-ranking from sources: Ireland, Belgium, Netherlands, France, Canada, etc., typically in the 340–370 range)

Additional high ones often cited in top tiers: Ireland, Belgium, France, Netherlands, Canada, United Kingdom, Germany, Sweden, Slovenia, etc.Top 20 Countries with Lowest Age-Standardized Cancer Incidence Rates (ASR per 100,000, both sexes, 2022)These are mostly in sub-Saharan Africa and parts of South Asia/Central Asia, where under-reporting and lower life expectancy play roles.

1. Sierra Leone — ~35.9 (often cited as lowest or near-lowest)
2. Angola — ~76.8
3. Gambia — ~79.2
4. Niger — ~78–80 (frequently among the very lowest)
5. Nepal
6. Bhutan
7. Republic of Congo
8. Tajikistan
9. Timor-Leste
10. Djibouti
11. South Sudan
12. Sudan
13. (Other low: Western African nations like Guinea, Mali; Central African countries; some South Asian like India ~98.5 overall but lower in subsets)

Additional low ones: Many in Western/Middle Africa (e.g., rates often <100), and parts of South-Central Asia.Global average ASR (including NMSC): ~196.9 per 100,000 (higher in men at 212.6, women at 186.3). Excluding NMSC: ~186.5.For the full, sortable list of all countries, refer to the primary source: the Global Cancer Observatory (GCO/IARC) at gco.iarc.fr/today, or WCRF's country data pages (wcrf.org/preventing-cancer/cancer-statistics/global-cancer-data-by-country), which draw directly from GLOBOCAN 2022. These provide interactive tools for exact rankings across 185+ entities. Note that small populations (e.g., island nations) can have volatile estimates, but ASR helps normalize this. If you need details for specific cancers or mortality (vs. incidence), let me know!

Striking, perhaps? One could speculate that western countries are most subjected to poisons and stressful environments “and that’s why“ but shouldn’t all those very poor non western countries also have at least similar levels given how poor they are, vaccinated, bad food etc.? Maybe, thought landscapes can be a reason or perhaps even a major reason?

I further thought, perhaps in correlation to how strong such thought patterns might be in an individual (no matter “what caused it“ in each case); that the heavier a person tends to think in such ways the more crucial at least some networking locally amongst good minded people becomes? Networking in general being a key (and perhaps the most crucial one) that can unlock even severe cases (if the will is there) to be able to start to tackle their own thoughts and/or physical issues?

I‘m assuming the more severe the tendencies of such thoughts are in a person the more likely it is that such a person can only start to get there by the help of others via networking?

 

[Konstantin]

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, too.
I think this is very similar to what Gabor Maté writes in his book When the Body Says No. He explains that chronic stress, repressed emotions, and unresolved psychological issues can manifest as serious physical illnesses later in life.

Networking in general being a key (and perhaps the most crucial one) that can unlock even severe cases (if the will is there) to be able to start to tackle their own thoughts and/or physical issues?

I believe that networking can be an excellent way to help oneself cope with entropic thoughts. Simple conversations with like-minded people can sometimes lift a significant weight off your shoulders.

When someone speaks openly about their personal negative thought patterns, they become more aware of their presence. Connecting with like-minded people can also help individuals realize that these thought loops can be very harmful in the long run.

 

[Andrian]

Thank you for opening the following thread Cosmos.

The following excerpt from your post stood with me:

So, that got me thinking, could there be a correlation between developing malignant cancer in later years and thought patterns that have been “installed“ in childhood through traumatic experiences that then got reinforced over and over again, ever since, in the mind of the traumatized?

What's fascinating and terrific about this is the fact that even despite the knowledge the C's shared in that occasion and in many others and all the research and knowledge shared on the forum it's not so easy to overcome these negative thought loops especially if derived from childhood programs deeply inculcated onto the subconscious mind. At least that's my experience.

What could help a lot in this situation is to be completely honest with yourself, that is, when you see something that's about to trigger the same negative thought loops, don't take the bait, do not identify with it, recognize it for what it is and let it go. It's easier said than done, believe me, I know. Psychic hygiene and knowledge input on a daily basis is extremely important and I agree, networking with like minded people would help as well.

Just a few thoughts.

 

[Wandering Star]

I'd like to add, paraphrasing the C's, that "no man is an island."

Sometimes, illnesses like cancer can be a service someone is doing for others (Pierre maybe?).

It's an experience (a lesson) that benefits everyone involved with the patient, and perhaps, on another level, that soul intended to offer a service.

Just one perspective on why some people might have these illnesses.

 

[Wandering Star]

An excerpt from Ra (The Law of One) on the topic:

Session 73, October 21, 1981

QUESTIONER: As a general statement that you may correct, the overall view, as I see it, of the healer and the patient is that the one to be healed has a blockage in one or more of their energy centers.

Let's begin with the example of a specific problem: due to the blockage of a particular energy center, the ascending spiral of light that creates one of the seven bodies cannot access that body, resulting in a distortion of that body's perfection, which we call illness, or in a bodily anomaly that deviates from perfection. The healer, after having properly configured their energy centers, is able to channel the light—the light that flows downward through their properly configured energy centers—to the one to be healed. If the one to be healed has a mental configuration of acceptance of that light, the light penetrates the physical complex and reconfigures the distortion created by the original blockage. I am sure there will be some errors in my explanation. Could you correct me?

RA: I am Ra. The errors are minor. At the moment, we would not wish to attempt to significantly correct this exposition, as there is previous material that would undoubtedly be repeated. We can say that there are various forms of healing. In many of them, only the energy of the adept is employed. In the fire exercise, the energy of the physical complex is also channeled.
We could also point out that when the one who wishes to be healed, even with a sincere desire, does not heal—as you call this distortion—you can take into account choices made before incarnation, and your most effective help to that entity might be to suggest that they meditate on the affirmative use of any limitations they may be experiencing. We would also like to add that in these cases, the Indigo Ray workings are often helpful.
Aside from these notes, we do not wish to make any further comments on what was said during this working session.

 

[Paweł]

Hello Cosmos and Everyone. Thank you for this thread. I'll share with you the story of my brother's illness. I hope it adds something to the discussion.

My brother died of cancer (in 2016, he was 21) and I wonder if the cause of his illness could have been exactly as the C's described it. I remember the moment I read that session about Pierre's illness and something in my head just "clicked!" My brother was always very submissive toward our narcissistic parents. For example, for many years he went to church every Sunday, while being an agnostic himself, just so that our parents - deeply devout Catholics - wouldn't feel hurt. He never wanted to upset them, even though they could be really awful to us. I sometimes think that Piotr may have turned the aggression toward our parents (who didn't accept him as he was) against himself, and that this could have contributed to his illness. It started with nasopharyngeal cancer - from what I understand, energetically this could be related to a problem with self-expression, and that would fit. Later he had metastases in many other places: lungs, pelvis, bones... After his death I found his diaries, from which I learned that he was also going through unrequited love - he was rejected by a girl he was deeply in love with. I regret that at that time we weren't very close. I remember how he once told me with dead seriousness: "today I understood how a suicidal person feels" (this was before his illness, and we never discussed it in depth. We never confided in each other about our deeper feelings. That's how we were raised, unfortunately). To this day I don't know what caused him to feel that way, and whether it was related to the development of his illness. And of course, I don't claim to know for sure whether his illness was caused by him directing the anger he felt at his parents at himself. That's just my impression.

After reading this thread, I believe it is highly probable that a supportive network of people could have helped my brother - someone who could have shown him that it's okay to be himself and express what he truly feels.

And I also think that a good relationship with parents is important in cases like the one I described with my brother's illness. By "good relationship," I mean an approach (from the sick person): "My parents are who they are. I forgive them everything and love them, but at the same time I don't let my relationship with them come at the expense of my well-being. I understand that I don't owe them anything, nor do they owe me anything." Something like that. Our situation with the parents was complicated. There was no emotional warmth or support, and unfortunately, this likely contributed to my brother's death. I'm sorry for such a heavy post.