zim said:Thanks Gandalf for the video I´ll watch it now !
Agree! Thanks for your good reflex Gandalf... The video is now ready to be watched. ;)
zim said:Thanks Gandalf for the video I´ll watch it now !
edgitarra said:Thanks for sharing the video. I also started to read the book, but I have one question: how can one improve his external consideration ability without entering in a the field of suppressing emotions? How can he distinguish easily if his attempt to be externally considerate does not turn into suppressing his emotions? Thanks!
_http://www.soulrescuesite.com/
Viewing Emotions as Energy
[...] When we are in the process of healing others (or even ourselves) it can become very difficult to separate ourselves from the care and sympathy that we may naturally have for the suffering of these people. However, I've found that in order to be of greatest service, it is essential to view their emotional pain as simply "stuck energy". This in turn helps me to work on the energy rather than become paralyzed with trying to comfort the person with a hug or with sympathy.
Stuck emotions can happen in a wide variety of ways but the most common is through emotional traumas and suppressed emotions. So if an opening occurs in the energy field by way of disruption, this is an opening for spirits to join. And, in my opinion, this is a common occurrence for anyone and everyone.
Everything is related, right? It’s kind of like health [P & G: lol]. But what I’m going to invite you to do. You know what sounds like a good idea? Is to invite you to play with the Éiriú Eolas method of inviting the feelings of powerlessness and helplessness to come up so [...] to invite it to come up, to focus on powerlessness as you are doing the technique and then do the breathing allowing everything to come up. And what I imagine is going to happen is that energy will start to flow and during this, the part that I didn’t hear in the EE method which I’m going to invite you to add on when you do this homework is not to judge yourself for having the feelings. Because very often with how these feelings, lets take powerlessness, and you’ll be like wow, why am I having these feelings of powerlessness with me, my God, I was raised by a single mother, I went through medical school, here I am, I accomplished all this, how can I be feeling powerless, right? [G: Yeah] That’s judgment. [laughter] I would invite you to do this method because this is a method that you already practiced so is just basically tagging unto it, but instead of letting to whatever come up come up, is to invite the feelings of powerlessness. Basically [...] you are inviting little Gaby to be safe. You are allowing her to finally feel the feelings that she wasn’t allowed to feel. [...] And so what I am inviting you to do this technique, what I’m really inviting you to do is to acknowledge her and say, yes, your feelings are valid. The way that you do it is to allow the feelings of powerlessness, helpessness to come up [...] And just allow it to come up.
edgitarra said:Thanks for sharing the video. I also started to read the book, but I have one question: how can one improve his external consideration ability without entering in a the field of suppressing emotions? How can he distinguish easily if his attempt to be externally considerate does not turn into suppressing his emotions? Thanks!
I would recommend therapy as well, it helped to have the support of my therapist (Starlight) to help me acknowledge that I was hurt and that I deserved to feel safe and secure within my being. I would have found it difficult to understand the fact that I was accepted and essentially deserving of love if it wasn't for her caring guidance.edgitarra said:Thanks for sharing the video. I also started to read the book, but I have one question: how can one improve his external consideration ability without entering in a the field of suppressing emotions? How can he distinguish easily if his attempt to be externally considerate does not turn into suppressing his emotions? Thanks!
ignis.intimus said:The book sounds very interesting. I have only watched the video linked on the first page, and in it he focuses on people who suppress their anger, and the connection this has with dis-ease. I would be curious if the book contains insight into people who do the third response he talked about, people who "over-express" their anger, and don't handle it properly in that way.
ignis.intimus said:The book sounds very interesting. I have only watched the video linked on the first page, and in it he focuses on people who suppress their anger, and the connection this has with dis-ease. I would be curious if the book contains insight into people who do the third response he talked about, people who "over-express" their anger, and don't handle it properly in that way. For me, my problem has never been trouble expressing my anger, many of the problems I have created for myself in life are because I have a problem with not expressing my anger; saying what I think (feel), when I think (feel) it, regardless of the consequences. Unhindered, it's definitely the opposite extreme of people who are "never angry" and all smiles, all the time. I find I am often "dialing" myself back, and reminding myself to chill out. Its about finding that balance between autonomy and social ties, weighing whats important in that moment, and coming up with effective solutions.
He mentioned in that video our emotions (at least as far as anger is concerned) are a defense mechanism to protect our sense of boundaries. So do people with anger problems have an exaggerated sense of self-boundary? I would guess so, because a lot of my anger with others really centers around control. I.e, that I am projecting this large boundary of "self" around me. Control over things I identify with (projects I am working on) or control over the perception of how others perceive me.
In that same video, he also mentioned frequently that it's not about assigning blaming (to yourself). Which makes me wonder, what is the difference between blame and responsibility?
Blame seems to center around "passing the buck" and creating a sense of finality to a situation. You being sick is your fault - and therefore not mine. You need to deal with it, not me.
Ascribing responsibility is about putting a person in charge of a solution. You are sick, not me. I can help you, but ultimately you have to do most of the work, and the burden of finding a solution falls on you. Because you are the one responsible there are things only you can do to rectify the situation.
davey72 said:Something i learned in the treatment center i was in is that anger is a secondary emotion that arises from the primary emotion of fear. I think it is helpful to try to observe yourself when you are angered and to try to identify where it is actually coming from.
obyvatel said:Anger is a powerful emotion. Chronic anger is addictive - it feels good while one is indulging in it. It provides a sense of being big, and powerful and in control in the moment. Physiologically, anger releases adrenaline which provides energy as well as endorphins which are natural opioids or feel good chemicals which act as pain killers. Sometimes, chronic anger is a way of self-medicating against painful feelings of weakness, unworthiness and shame.
HifromGrace said:I've gone back and forth with myself, thinking this could fall into the New Age beaming love & light bull crap thing. & I'm tending to side with it not being the same. I had no coercive intent, no expectation or anticipation. I was just trying to not act like such an a-hole, and it was a stepping stone, consciously choosing something other than auto-pilot anger. Any thoughts?
HifromGrace said:I've gone back and forth with myself, thinking this could fall into the New Age beaming love & light bull crap thing. & I'm tending to side with it not being the same. I had no coercive intent, no expectation or anticipation. I was just trying to not act like such an a-hole, and it was a stepping stone, consciously choosing something other than auto-pilot anger. Any thoughts?
I agree with the last thing you wrote there (not that I disagree with the prior stuff necessarily) that it came down a choice on your part. You decided to act differently. Where you have normally followed a pattern of stimulus-reaction-behavior, you made a conscious decision to change it up.
I agree. This is where neural plasticity comes into play. You can rewire your brain this way and wean your brain from the addiction it has to these chemicals. Although i also think that before you start this process that there is a lot of value in letting it happen and just observing the process as a third person and trying to figure out where it ultimately comes from. This can be a valuable learning tool if viewed properly. OSITignis.intimus said:HifromGrace said:I've gone back and forth with myself, thinking this could fall into the New Age beaming love & light bull crap thing. & I'm tending to side with it not being the same. I had no coercive intent, no expectation or anticipation. I was just trying to not act like such an a-hole, and it was a stepping stone, consciously choosing something other than auto-pilot anger. Any thoughts?
I agree with the last thing you wrote there (not that I disagree with the prior stuff necessarily) that it came down a choice on your part. You decided to act differently. Where you have normally followed a pattern of stimulus-reaction-behavior, you made a conscious decision to change it up.
Which is often pretty hard in and of itself. But changing how the stimulus impacts you, how that is perceived, that I think is the key. My best guess is it requires a total re-framing of how you see and approach life.