Okay, I wanted to share some thoughts/approaches to the Work based on Gurdjieff's concept of "little I's" and my own experiences.
First I'd like to say that I think Gurdjieff's concept of "little I's" governing our thoughts, emotions and actions is very useful - even though we may get a more accurate and "scientific" picture of how our machine works using concepts like Kahnemann's
System 1 and System 2 or Wilson's
Adaptive Unconscious. To think of our mind as a kingdom of crazy and coward wanna-be dictators constantly battling each other to get to the throne and once there, get nothing done, is just very fruitful and a great analogy I think. That this is the state we live in becomes totally obvious once we start self-observing, and even more so once we start struggling against it, even just by trying to root out a minor habit.
So, here are G's own words describing this whole mess that is our mind:
Indeed. For example, at one point I decide to do something useful, like cleaning up or write on the forum. By the time the computer is on or I'm fetching the vacuum cleaner, there's a different I on the throne who likes to check out something on the internet. The next minute, there's an I on the throne who is lazy and wants to slack. Then I slack, and the next I gets control and hates slacking and makes a scene and starts whipping the whole kingdom, gets angry and irritable. And so on. Or, one "I" gets control which is interested in some topic for a week or two and makes everyone in the kingdom work on this single goal, forgetting everything else. Then, after two weeks, this I gets kicked off from the throne and a different, more balanced I takes control again and has to clean up the mess the other I produced - chores have been left undone, important goals have been forgotten... And on and on it goes.
So far, so bad. But what's really dangerous is that all these little I's are dependent on outside influences, of which we are unconscious. That way, external influences not only form those little I's in the first place (through education, experience, religious/secular beliefs etc.), they also control which little I enters the throne and when. Often, all it needs is a slight stimulus from outside to kick off one little I and have it replaced by another. And I think this is also the way the PTB control us - they know our machine better than we know it ourselves, and play us like a fiddle. They have created many little I's themselves (education, media, social structure etc.) and know how to trigger them.
In G's words:
So how to fight this? First, of course, we need to become conscious of the fact that this is indeed the state we live in. Self-observation and setting oneself a very modest aim (like breaking a minor habit) while fully committing to this small aim as if it was the most important thing in one's life can actually show how utterly true G's description is. In fact, in the beginning, we fail to achieve even the most ridiculous goal, like taking 5 seconds to do one little thing every day... So, how can we change? I think G's analogy of the house, servants and master can bring some light into this:
When I found the Work, I foolishly thought the goal was to root out all those nasty little I's, but this didn't work out of course, and the analogy of the house and the servants may yield some hints as to why: It just leads to apathy, to a shut-down of the house except for the bare minimum, and achieves nothing. Maybe this is a natural consequence of the shock we go through once realizing what a mess we are, and that this mess leads to constantly hurting other people, even the ones we pretend to care about. But it changes nothing. To begin to change, I think we have to work with what's there, and accept those little I's - study them, get to know them, and start conspiring with the better ones, or the "more sensible servants", in G's analogy. In other words - in our more conscious states, when we see that mess that is our machine clearly, we should try to make use of those little I's, rather than fighting all of them. In more modern terms, maybe this can be called self-accepting - not taking the "all or nothing" approach, but really feeling and accept "what is", and starting to make small changes based on this acceptance.
So for example, there's one servant who likes to read esoteric books, another one is interested in politics. Another one is very empathetic and enjoys being good to other people. So let's notice when they "take the throne" and encourage them. Make each of them get to know the other good servants and form a little group there. Make them oppose the nasty I's - those who dwell on grandiosity, those who are cruel, or those who love suffering for example. That way, even if one of the nasty little I's enters the throne and you loose yourself, the good ones - your little conspiracy - can notice this and fight them. Next time when a good guy takes control, and for example you read an interesting esoteric book or check on world politics, you can remember how you lost yourself and remember the particular feeling associated with it, and can try to stop it next time it happens. That is, the good servants may restrain the power of some of the nastiest servants, and eventually succeed in arresting them. Cut the ties to those psychos and make it common knowledge in your house that they are the bad guys!
But rooting out the most horrible servants/little I's is just the beginning - at this point, we still have no real control. I think what we have to do then is to work with the rest of the servants, who still want all to sit on the throne and fight each other, even though most of them agreed to arrest the psycho-servants. So now, the goal can be to bring in the deputy steward - make those servants do their job. For example, the guy who likes esoteric books should be allowed to read those books, but only at specific times, and he should give a lecture to the whole house when he finds out something. But he's not supposed to interfere with the functioning of the house. That is, the guy who works in the kitchen should be able to do his job, even without forcing his way on the throne. The deputy steward sees to that. In real life, this means for example that you put the right amount of energy into your job and your chores at home, while also allowing time for reading and studying, and finding a good balance. I think this is achieved mainly by making simple, not very demanding plans and sticking to them - which is hard enough.
I guess what I'm getting at is that at one point maybe instead of viewing our little I's as enemies, we should view them as players in an orchestra, or our employees - they are not good or bad per se, but they are controlled by external influences without a conductor or manager. We can practice becoming good conductors/managers by setting ourselves small tasks that we know another little I hates, and force it to do it anyway. For example, if I'm in the "mood" to do some physical exercises, I sometimes don't do it and plan it for a later time in the day. And while I'm looking forward to this at the moment, I know full well that on the later hour, there will be another little I in charge, who probably hates doing exercises. But since I know this, I can withstand this guy and assign him another task for another time, and eventually win - or at least see what's going on. Another example would be that there is a little I "on the throne" which is very enthusiastic about something, even obsessive. So instead of fighting it, I can say "well, here you are, now get something done!", and make the guy use his enthusiasm to actually do something useful. This is what a good manager would do.
Another example: There's one little I in me who is somehow identified with my job. Now, one other little I, the one reading esoteric books, thinks this is totally ridiculous, and the job total BS. Well, he is right with the BS, but he shouldn't keep the other guy from earning my living! So a good manager would tell the esoteric guy to be quiet when there's work to be done, and tells the job-obsessed guy that he should stick to what he's good at and make room for others once the job is done.
It also helps to just self-observe the little I's and their fighting. For example, the other day I drove home and I thought about what to do with 2 hours "free time" I would have in the evening. And I could literally feel two different little I's fighting for that spot! It felt really draining, but I recognized what's going on and so could stop it. In the past, this would have been a moment where I would have been very irritated and would have snapped at other people and become angry at others, all the while inventing a narrative to explain it. Different little I's being at war for the throne are a really draining thing!
So maybe learning to get at least some control over our crazy madhouse is the stage of G's "deputy steward" - we practice getting those I's halfway under control, doing what "it" doesn't like, set ourselves small aims, and then increase the difficulty of those aims. But when does the real master come? I think the arrival of the master could be what the C's described as the "awakening of our conscience". It's really only then that the whole house is transformed into something useful, something with a purpose. In my case, I think I had glimpses of that master, he visits from time to time and makes everyone feel his presence, but these are just glimpses yet. In other words, I feel that sometimes I'm really in touch with my conscience, but oftentimes it is shielded from me with all kinds of buffers. But I'm best when I'm truly feeling for others - then I DO things, not because I press myself using sheer willpower, but because I feel deep down that it's the right thing to do, and there is no other choice, and that's the way it should be.
Anyway, just wanted to share these thoughts, I hope this makes sense. Any feedback welcome.
Your use of quotes from Gurdjieff and your own analogies were of great help. Just as you wrote I also think I have seen glimpses of the "master"(authentic and unified self?) but it does not last long.
