Worried for my mom.

[Harold]

About 2 weeks ago my mother found out she had jumped the que for a hip replacement operation. It is in 6 days.

She had her knee replaced, it did not work out well for her, the doctors now want to replace both her other knee and hip... but wont do it because of her health and her age.

I am very worried for her. Since joining this forum, I have stopped praying(the way I used to), except for the POTS at night. I dont know who to talk to when I am praying. I do do POTS during the day sometimes. I enjoy hearing Laura say it, it is great for me.

I know Alien some time ago gave me some advice about what to meditate on and stuff, but I had not tried to be apart of anyone's healing or big healing thoughts at least. Do I visualize her hip? And see the operation go well? Or do I not anticipate anything? I'm not sure and have very little experience with this.

I could ask her about trying EE but I just thought of that and don't think she would do it anyways... I know her well enough.

Since hearing about her operation coming so soon, she is very happy these days. I am very uncomfortable with her joy and don't show it, I act enthusiastic and happy for her. Her operation is a very traumatic one and violent.

My sister is taking her in, I have offered to take my father later on that day. The operation is scheduled for 2 HOURS!!! That blows me away too, but I have not expressed this to my folks. She is supposed to be home in 4 days, during her stay at the hospital she says they will have her in for 3 physio sessions a day.

I am so scared for her and ask for our prayers for a speedy recovery and for everyone's help with me to learn to pray better.

 

[Maat]

I'd just to say to keep things simple, like pray DCM to help her for her best, that's all :)

and I'm sorry for the situation you're in

keep going

 

[mada85]

I agree with Maat – just keep it simple and ask the DCM for that which is best for your mother, without anticipation.

You could also, when reciting the POTS to yourself, mentally ask for help to understand what you can do best for your mother, and how to act on that knowledge.

Best wishes to you and your mom!

 

[Ollie]

I agree with Maat – just keep it simple and ask the DCM for that which is best for your mother, without anticipation.

You could also, when reciting the POTS to yourself, mentally ask for help to understand what you can do best for your mother, and how to act on that knowledge.

Best wishes to you and your mom!

I'll go along with that. Also, trust that the Universe knows what it is doing, all is as it should be - whatever that is.

 

[Harold]

I agree with Maat – just keep it simple and ask the DCM for that which is best for your mother, without anticipation.

You could also, when reciting the POTS to yourself, mentally ask for help to understand what you can do best for your mother, and how to act on that knowledge.

Best wishes to you and your mom!

I'll go along with that. Also, trust that the Universe knows what it is doing, all is as it should be - whatever that is.

Thank-you Maat, Prodigal Son and Endymion. I appreciate the support. I just want to keep a good mental attitude, be as calm as I can and not anticipate too much, I just really dont want her to suffer anymore, I hope the operation brings her some pain relief. DMSO hasn't worked, I've tried hi infra red technology, always been available to talk diet. It's totally out of my hands.

Making sure she is comfortable is all I can offer at this point.

Just having this forum for support makes me feel she is receiving some of this help too. Just sharing this, eases the stress a little bit, I hope I can pass it on to her in some way.

 

[Ollie]

...

Making sure she is comfortable is all I can offer at this point.

Just having this forum for support makes me feel she is receiving some of this help too. Just sharing this, eases the stress a little bit, I hope I can pass it on to her in some way.

That is a good starting point, also, you may like to consider being with her as often as you are able and seeing her with love, understanding, and compassion, and accepting her just as she is - I found that this helped ease the sufferings of both of my parents in the past.

 

[Keit]

...

Making sure she is comfortable is all I can offer at this point.

Just having this forum for support makes me feel she is receiving some of this help too. Just sharing this, eases the stress a little bit, I hope I can pass it on to her in some way.

That is a good starting point, also, you may like to consider being with her as often as you are able and seeing her with love, understanding, and compassion, and accepting her just as she is - I found that this helped ease the sufferings of both of my parents in the past.

It's a good advice. Show her that you are there for her and be the best support you can be. She may not be open to the changes in diet (though you may mention that proper diet facilitates quicker and more successful recovery) or EE, but you can still help her by keeping the proper regime yourself and this way making yourself able to give more.

And we will keep you and your mother in our thoughts. Wishing good luck with the surgery.

 

[SeekinTruth]

I agree with Keit and Prodigal Son. You and your mom will be in my thoughts, Harold. :)

 

[Harold]

...

Making sure she is comfortable is all I can offer at this point.

Just having this forum for support makes me feel she is receiving some of this help too. Just sharing this, eases the stress a little bit, I hope I can pass it on to her in some way.

That is a good starting point, also, you may like to consider being with her as often as you are able and seeing her with love, understanding, and compassion, and accepting her just as she is - I found that this helped ease the sufferings of both of my parents in the past.

thank-you everyone for the supportive comments. Accepting my mom as she is has been a life long goal.... more or less... but I know what you mean to accept her situation now as it is. I've been calling her allot. Seeing her more. Just stuff like talking about my day in a more open way. I usually keep my daily life to myself.... but I have been allot more open and honest with her, in as gentle a way as possible.

To her, my life sucks right now.... my life has not turned out the way she would have liked... not that I am dissagreeing with her... I do wish I had a couple of letters after my name... but that has to do with being taken seriously about diet and stuff. I feel so powerless to help others at times.

My mom comments on how much weight I have lost and how skinny I am. She acts a little freaked out like being obese in society is the norm now. But I share with her my diet. She wont give the no bread a try, dad's diet is awful, I dont even want to go there.

Thanx to this forum and EE I have improved my behavior with mom and dad.... it's mostly just keeping my mouth shut at the right time.

I feel a little guilty, I went to bed without doing POTS or anything last night. I have been having trouble with doing it daily lately. Sharing here and the feedback is giving me more focus... I will do it today for sure. Thank-you again.

In general if I am doing well and project this to her, she seems more at ease and happy. This woman worries like few people I have ever met. Fear is hidden in most of what she does, it is hard to watch. But I love her none-the-less. I want to change the fact that she is crippled now and will not change. I remember her being young and able, it is so hard to watch, plus she just seems to revel in getting old, everything in her life surrounds her getting old and breaking down. She wears it like a badge of honor. It is difficult to just observe her and not join her in her attitude. She basically has many symptoms of what happens when eating according to the 'experts'. High carb low fat, lots of vegetable oils, everything we here do not do anymore. I just wish she would turn off the stupid idiot box and get out of the brainwash TV brings.... but their 'programs' are all they have to watch.... it is a big part of their life... the TV. I hate it... I dont mind watching TV as a social thing when I visit others sometimes but it is all my dad has ever done since I have knowen him.

Anyways... enough of my self important ranting... but these are my worries.... and there is NOTHING I can do about it. I just try to keep in touch and that is about it. I dressed up more than I would usually do for christmas, I could tell it made a difference with mom, she is so worried about my broken ribs and shoulder and not working last month, so my situation is added a little stress for her. When I go to see them, I am attentive to her mood and pain, sometimes I do all the cooking and cleaning while there and sometimes I just stay out of the kitchen. Each situation is different. I just try not to rock the boat.

Again the thought of not having pain after this operation is giving her allot of joy. I really hope it goes well. She puts allot of faith in the doctors.... I do not.

 

[Harold]

oh... one more thing.

I do really appreciate that you will keep healing thoughts for my mom in mind... please help me with this. Thank-you.

 

[Ollie]

I feel a little guilty, I went to bed without doing POTS or anything last night. I have been having trouble with doing it daily lately. Sharing here and the feedback is giving me more focus... I will do it today for sure. Thank-you again.

You may like to consider giving up 'self-punishing' guilt in favour of honest regret, and remaining in the present moment. What has gone is gone; get back to the now.

You may like to use the act of lying down in bed as the trigger to start reciting PotS - it works wonders for me. Relaxing and putting me straight to sleep (sometimes even before I finish a set number of repetitions). :)

This may help, or not.

 

[cassandra]

Good luck, Harold. Hope your mom gets better soon.

 

[Harold]

I feel a little guilty, I went to bed without doing POTS or anything last night. I have been having trouble with doing it daily lately. Sharing here and the feedback is giving me more focus... I will do it today for sure. Thank-you again.

You may like to consider giving up 'self-punishing' guilt in favour of honest regret, and remaining in the present moment. What has gone is gone; get back to the now.

You may like to use the act of lying down in bed as the trigger to start reciting PotS - it works wonders for me. Relaxing and putting me straight to sleep (sometimes even before I finish a set number of repetitions). :)

This may help, or not.

Very helpful.... thank-you. I just really appreciate the contact, the feeling that I am cared about here, that my mom is important. I am scared and sad a little and just want things to go well for her.

I have been playing the EE cd at night, but stopped. Thanx for the reminder.

 

[SeekinTruth]

Hang in there Harold. I know pretty well how you feel. My mom DID get on the diet, but her attitude is very similar to yours, still. Fear, buying into propaganda, worry on levels unimaginable.

Like you said, we need to accept them as they are, let them learn their own lessons, and make the love we feel for the the most helpful possible and least hurtful in any way. It's a work in progress, as are we, always improving, but still a ways to go. What you wrote touched me a lot and resonates in many ways. Best wishes to you, your mom and the whole family.

 

[mada85]

I feel a little guilty, I went to bed without doing POTS or anything last night. I have been having trouble with doing it daily lately. Sharing here and the feedback is giving me more focus... I will do it today for sure. Thank-you again.

You may like to consider giving up 'self-punishing' guilt in favour of honest regret, and remaining in the present moment. What has gone is gone; get back to the now.

You may like to use the act of lying down in bed as the trigger to start reciting PotS - it works wonders for me. Relaxing and putting me straight to sleep (sometimes even before I finish a set number of repetitions). :)

This may help, or not.

Very helpful.... thank-you. I just really appreciate the contact, the feeling that I am cared about here, that my mom is important. I am scared and sad a little and just want things to go well for her.

I have been playing the EE cd at night, but stopped. Thanx for the reminder.

Prodigal Son said exactly the same thing I was going to say. I too use the act of lying down in bed to trigger some pipe breathing followed by mental recitations of POTS as I fall asleep. It's a very powerful and cumulative method of meditation. Sometimes, I think, it just takes a little push to get a new beneficial routine started, perhaps just by starting POTS without the breathing to begin with. That's what I did, and added pipe breathing a bit later. Once the routine settles into your motor centre it becomes an easy and automatic thing. Another trick is not to think about it at all during the day. Don't anticipate it, just lie down in bed, breathe and recite the POTS while you fall asleep. Hope this helps.