That's my current understanding as well. Sure, even a positive action is ultimately selfish in our case. Maybe we don't want to suffer watching someone we love suffer. Maybe we feel good about being the hero who makes a sacrifice. We are 3D STS, I don't think that selfishness (including the anticipation of reward) can be truly avoided, so long as we remain in this realm. Dig deep enough and somewhere, somehow, you'll find a selfish reason for your actions, because that's what we are. And it feels important to recognize that at all times, I think it's a fundamental part of becoming and staying awake, of understanding ourselves and reality. Shining a light on the predator's mind inside us.
So the next best thing, and the only one available to us in our current state of being, I think, could be to consciously choose the path "least" or "less" aligned with STS. Wouldn't deliberately rejecting a stronger polarization towards STS be, by its own nature, a step towards STO, especally for an STS being? Choosing to be less entrenched in STS?
You could choose to just satisfy yourself and let others suffer, reasoning that there is no real difference in the end, since both paths are ultimately STS, or possibly even deliberately choose selfishness and negativity.
Or you can choose to take the less entropic, less STS polarizing path. Even if you do so for ultimately selfish reasons, to obtain some "reward" (which again, IMO, seems inevitable, at LEAST in most situations and for most people in our realm, save maybe some extreme exceptions), you're still making an effort to look at the situation objectively (with limited information of course, since we have no way of knowing anything about predestined lessons and karma) and trying to choose the least selfish option you can see. You're still making an attempt to align with a more positive/creative aspect of reality. And sending a certain type of signal.
We are (or strive to be) STO candidates, we can't expect to make truly STO choices right now.
Understanding STS, seeing where it leads and being unsatisfied with it, we seek an alternative (for selfish reasons, because that's what we do), choosing it less and less as we go, in line with whatever chances and choices the universe presents us.
So, I guess it's mostly a matter of positive intent (with all that encompasses, towards us, others and reality) guided by knowledge and wisdom to respect free will as much as possible. Simple in general terms, but the devil is in the details. Where exactly is the line between useful conscious suffering/striving to be less selfish and self-destruction/becoming food? Between respecting the free will of others and our own? Between acting against another and acting in favor of our own destiny and wellbeing?
I'm not sure that it's possible to generalize at all, it seems very much a case by case, soul by soul, lesson by lesson consideration to make. Seems like a delicate balance in this chaotic world. And another useful aspect of a network, right? Where a group of colinear souls can help each member better analyze and understand specific situations and maybe plot the "best" course of action, where applicable.
Feels like I used a lot of words just to say: I think the best we can do is try to understand our own motivations, be as positive a force as possible while keeping an eye towards both free will and self preservaton and trust the universe to guide us where we need to go/be
