Alien Dream & High Strangeness

[Lucy]

Hi Lucy, EsoQuest, everyone,

Well this is certainly getting creepier by the minute, isn’t it? Alongside this, both me and Anne are describing similarly themed elements of a dream -- a “spinning moon” -- within almost an exact year between them; then there were some comments and extracts given by Saman in relation to the “predator experience” I had literally twelve hours after the UFO/Alien dream.

Oh yea, it's getting creepier alright!

I'll return to the discussion of my UFO sighting in separate post, because while reading Craig's comment about his mother another shared experience popped up.

To cut a long story short, I'm very angry at the mother that I used to love and adore, because I've gradually begun to SEE that she is little more than a narcissistic vampire, perhaps even having ruined the relationship with my father from the start. But that is a whole other issue.

Well darn, if I'm not going through the same thing regarding a mother I also "loved and adored" (who is dead now), and this "gradual" realization has been going on for some time, but is right now culminating in an acceptance of the truth of what she did, and the consequences. It's a huge breakthrough for me and seems to be sparking a lot of branching realizations, and a gradual 'unhooking' of the psychic hooks, as I identify them. The thing is, the situation is so convoluted, thus the rabbit hole is so deep, that 'finding' them seems like it will go on and on forever.

So I have also experienced a lot of anger, after years of denial when I 'pretended' she was only the 'charming' mom, not the 'other' one, although on some level I was aware of it. I seem now to be moving to a different stage, one of accepting that what was, was, so to speak, and working to understand what it means overall. Every day, I come across new realizations of how deep that rabbit hole of "mom" seems to go. I'm now seeing "a true labryinth in the grand baroque predator style."

I've also been following the concurrent thread, "Organic Portals: The Other Race," which I highly recommend to anyone who hasn't yet read it. http://www.cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php?topic=457&p=1

You see, I'd been grappling with trying to figure out WHAT my mother was. Psychopathic I'm sure of (one therapist has told us she sounds like a Borderline Personality, and another added the opinion there were also aspects of Histrionic and Narcissistic personality characteristics thrown in). Certainly the 'splitting' that Borderlines are infamous for was huge in our lives. She very cleverly 'split' us siblings from each other and from our father as much as she could. But, what seems puzzling to the therapists we've consulted is that she wasn't truly 'typical' of this diagnosis, lacking the chaotic aspects, that her ability to create and maintain elaborate Machiavellian situations was astounding; her level of 'control' was astounding. And she was beloved and admired by all due to incredible charm and charisma, making it difficult to 'spot' her actions.

So what was she? OP? No, I don't think so, way too bland. Psychopath, as defined by "failed OP?" That doesn't 'taste' right either. So when I read this entry by Laura, I felt such a sense of recognition that it was truly stunning. http://www.cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php?topic=457.msg2186#msg2186

Now, there is another type [of psychopath] that Mouravieff discusses ...
................................................................................................................................
Mouravieff wrote:
The case we are to study is that of a man I whose highly developed motor centre entirely dominates his emotional centre. In this type of man the latter is awake and even quite developed, but it is under the sway of the motor centre and as a result it is richly nourished by usurped sexual energy.

As in the fourth case, the intellectual centre is not entirely asleep: the negative part of this centre is paralysed but the positive part is completely under the domination of the motor centre. That is why this type of man feels no doubt. This fact provides him with extraordinary strength and endows his psyche with a suggestive, hypnotic dynamism.

This type of man includes fakirs, sorcerers, magicians: volkhvy in Slavonic. Though unbalanced in its development, this Personality has lost all its anarchistic characteristics: it is subjected to an iron discipline exercised by the motor centre in the place of the magnetic centre, with the 'I' of the body predominant. This kind of man can acquire certain powers, but their nature differs from that of the gifts of the Holy Spirit which interior men acquire.

A magician's power - that of a Cagliostro, Rasputin and their like - is based, as we said, on excessive development of the motor centre, which dominates the other two. The working of the intellectual centre is reduced towhat is strictly necessary to ensure vital needs and to elaborate projects; its negative part is smothered, and this is what leads to the absence of doubt. The emotional centre is not only not smothered but is rather well developed. However, this development is unbalanced, as it is not the result of correct discernment of [creative] from [entropic] influences, but of the accumulation of those of the latter whose action, although different in quality, lies parallel to the [creative] influences.

Lastly, an overgrowth on the psyche is formed on the right side of the emotional centre of this type of man 1, which shows all the characteristics of an impure or black magnetic centre. While the magnetic centre formed of [creative] influences is a subsidiary organ enabling esoteric development, this black magnetic centre formed by [entropic] influences can clearly not be oriented towards esoteric goals.

Shaped by [entropic] influences whose action runs parallel to the [creative] influences, the orientation of this black magnetic centre is automatically directed towards objectives limited to within the perimeter of exterior life. These objectives are well known; money, women, and power in all their forms.

[Lucy: Her numerology chart states she had "earned the right to have dominion over a part of the earth." Us?]

Evidently the black magnetic centre, instead of sending man forward towards the second Birth and so towards the union of his Personality with his [higher centers], emphasizes and crystallizes the 'I' of the Personality and inspires it with the strength it needs to impose itself on other Personalities who are in an unstable inner state.

[Lucy: Imagine the unstable inner states of children being raised by such a person!]

It is important to know that this human type exists, especially for those who have an inclination for esoteric research and who begin by looking for the 'marvellous.' While awaiting an encounter with a guide, their Personality is wide open to the influences emanating from this type of man, and they may easily fall under his sway.

Besides giving birth to magicians, this type of man gives rise to false prophets, false Christs, and even the Antichrist.

It is curious to see how much these false prophets, magicians and "christs", impressed themselves on the imagination of the men - and even more of the women of the past. It is the same today.

For there is a type of human being who declines all moral responsibility for himself or for those to whom he is in duty bound. One comes across this type quite often, always trying to find someone else to shoulder his responsibilities as long as this someone else possesses some kind of authority, earned or otherwise. These people are open to any form of hypnotic suggestion and practically ask to be hypnotized. They are of good faith, but they search for the 'marvellous' because they are too weak or too lazy to undertake esoteric work successfully.

And the Wolves devour them finding justification in the fact that they are only the 'scourings of humanity.'

But this is not true; for 'scourings' who are converted can become key figures on the esoteric chess-board.

Mental apathy and emotional inertia are responsible for tipping man down the slope of least resistance even when armed with the best intentions, especially if he justifies himself for his human frailties by finding them normal, particularly on the sexual plane.

The error of conception committed in this case lies in the fact that an important esoteric rule has been overlooked: that it is imperative for the seeker to be constantly active. He must always keep the initiative, beginning with the search for and choice of a guide and later in the work he accomplishes under the latter's guidance.

In a word, when participating in this work, he must be a subject, and not an object.
This is a necessary condition for this kind of work. If it is not sufficient to provide the whole effort the neophyte must accomplish in his search on the Way, it is always enough to allow him to escape from the claws of the Wolves. Initiative, vigilance, a critical mind, observation and discernment ... these different aspects of the seeker's active state, are diametrically opposed to the passive drowsiness of one who plunges head down into the jaws of the 'wolf' full of condescending compassion towards sceptics because: thus spake Zarathustra.
................................................................................................................................

Now, the distinction Mouravieff has made is that this second type DOES have the emotional center which the psychopathic type does not have. And that means that such a type is quite different - and maybe even scarier - than the garden variety psychopath.

I also think that such individuals need to constantly "feed" on creative people so as to fuel their activities.

Pretty creepy thing to 'see' in one's own mother:
A psychophage, or soul-eater, with a "black magnetic center!"

Lucy

 

[Lucy]

Hello again Craig, Anart, EsoQuest, Saman, and everyone,

This thread seems to be taking us in an interesting direction. I'm thinking we're sharing parts of a 'pattern' that is revealing clues of what that is emerging. It's as though I can almost, but not quite, grasp it, as though it's just beyond my fingertips, or on the tip of my tongue, and I'll 'have' it any minute now.

First: It was around the height of a three story building...so what would that be...maybe 50-60 feet? (I'm terrible at figuring distance.) Now about your observation: I got a funny feeling when I read your comment because you're right...I sound too calm and detached, or uninvolved. It has been a couple of years now, and it could be that my calm rendition is because it's no longer 'new' but I admit there could be another kind of "distance" going on....there 'probably' is!

Well the time factor is certainly understandable, but the additional information you provide - plus what I would consider to be a very low “flying” object - maybe there’s a good chance of further distancing having to do with psychological comfort. But of course, I’m no expert. All I can say is sit down and write out every strange occurrence that has ever happened to you throughout your life (though, there’s a huge advantage when it is happening right now), as detailed as possible and observing with as much precision as you can maintain, subtle decisions made - such as, what you feel should be left out for whatever reason. Perhaps ask other family members (particularly your sister if possible) if they remember anything. But obviously, the way you go about it depends on how open and what “type” of person you’re talking to.

Obviously I have some psychological discomfort about this. And as I consider your suggestion to sit down and write out every strange thing that's ever happened to me in my life, I come up with a big blank, which probably isn't a good sign. I've got a strong feeling there are lots of things I'm suppressing. Next week I'll be away from my computer and the internet, so it'll be a good time to sit down with a notebook and see what I can come up with. I'll check in with my sisters to see if they can add anything, or jog my memory. Uh...whoa...just 'thinking' that 'thought' right now lifted a veil giving me access to lots of high strangeness memories...a big conglomeration just sort of flooded in. And it seems the high strangeness may be more of a 'family' thing than a personal thing.

Now, I KNOW it was high strangeness, and yet there is this urge to downplay it. Also, it's as though the whole thing happened in 'such a way' as to actually 'give' me some 'outs' if that's what I wanted...like it was playing with me somehow.

If it seemed like it was responsive to your thought-processes, then I’d definitely say it was “playing with you.”

I agree, although I dislike 'looking' at this aspect, because it is indeed very uncomfortable. One of the things that bothers me is that it seemed personal...and also, that I may have been, in effect, 'asking' or 'inviting' an interaction by mentally issuing a challenge. It was like I 'invited' them in some way, which is disturbing.

... it was an event of high strangeness that produced a certain “amount” of emotional shock so as to urge a response of wanting to “downplay” it; perhaps something additional to what you consciously recollect occurred (although this is not known),

I can't know for sure, but it seems there is a high probability that "something additional happened." Facing and accepting that is the important thing, I'm thinking. More important than knowing for sure what it was...which I can't know anyway...not for certain anyway.

We really cannot trust ourselves most of the time, or so I think.

I agree. Since the high strangeness for me seems also to be a family thing, I should be able to check with others and maybe weed out some discrepancies by comparing our memories. While that still will not provide provable accuracy, it may at least clear up some muddied memories somewhat, and add details.

So yes, I'm thinking it's very likely that what I'm describing is actually a screen memory...which means I don't consciously remember what I 'really' saw that night. And that's just not a very pleasant thought.

But you’ve got to remember that there is also a chance that there was no screen-memory at all, there may have been no abduction. This isn’t shoving things under the rug - which I’ve observed many “deceptive” ‘I’s within us can claim, perhaps because they think it is exciting - but putting the Driver in its right position. It’s about awareness of possibilities, but having no emotional attachment to either when the necessary data is lacking. At least, that’s the best way I go with it.

You're 'seeing' me much too clearly for comfort Craig! :) When I allow my imagination to consider all the possibilites it can come up with, it's the abduction scenario that makes me most uncomfortable, which leads me to think it's quite possible that may be exactly what I'm attempting to avoid looking at. Perhaps the dynamic of this...the feeding/predatory aspect of it is what I need to come to terms with. Perhaps it is this very 'thing' inside me I am avoiding looking at, but NEED to look at.

It's pretty tricky to balance 'facing' these memories while staying open to possibilites, while having no emotional attachment, and not be fooling ourselves...because the suppression, or screening, can actually mimic that, and lead us to believe we've achieved something that is alluding us. Osit.

As a side-issue, and one which seems strangely synchronistic with the dream (and what I didn’t put together right away), Saman posted a few extracts from the C’s in response to a horrifying “glimpse” of a predator I had the other day. I wrote:

About thirty minutes ago I had a most strange, unanticipated and horrifying thing happen. In fact, that doesn't even come close to how terrible it was. I was just sat here at the computer adding some more comments into my journal and mulling over some recent negativity with my mother - a sort of draining feeding session of egos over petty issues - when I kind of "asked" (although it was more of a desire) to SEE behind the dynamic, particularly my own behaviour.

Putting all the 'synchronicities' together in this thread, I'm getting a picture of how we seem to be ferreting out this "feeding" predator issue in some surprising ways, coming back to it from different directions. And if Doing is one way of indicating acceptance of information/help/intervention from higher density (STO) entities because we've truly asked (which is my theory), then right now the efforts we make to get past the fear and discomfort we may feel with our own instances of high strangeness, and glimpses of our predator, may be what will signal that we are ready and Able to receive more help/insight. Perhaps an accelerated 'merging' is being implied?

Saman posted the following segments from the C’s:

Q: (L) Well, what do we do about these essence parts of ourselves? I mean, I don't like it that there may be something of the predator in me. I would like to not have it, or get rid or it, or transform it, or whatever.
A: Wait and see.
Q: (L) Well, am I going to have to remember myself doing things like that in order to come to terms with it?
A: Yes.
Q: (L) Is that going to happen to me that I am going to have memories like that surfacing?
A: Yes.
Q: (L) Well, I can't even cope with it in someone else, how am I going to deal with it in myself?
A: You will.
Q: (L) Is this something we are all going to have to do?
A: All eligible.
Q: (L) And who is eligible?
A: 4th density candidates.

And then this:

Q: (L) Are these aspects of our being coming to earth as part of the realm border crossing?
A: Yes.
Q: (L) Are all of us going to have to face these aspects of ourselves as other beings?
A: Yes.
Q: (L) Are there other parts of us in all realms doing other things at this moment?
A: Yes.
Q: (L) And how is this going to be affected by the realm border crossing?
A: Will merge.
Q: (L) Do we need to do extensive hypnosis to bring these aspects of ourselves up and deal with these things a little at a time?
A: Will happen involuntarily. Will be like a thermonuclear blast.

Lots of subtle clues! Osit.

But what else is new?
How confusing… :(

Confusing, yes. But over and over again we seem to be looking at situations where we have opportunities to examine the predator, and feeding, what it is, how it happens, and that, like it or not, it exists within us, is a part of us we have to look at. Meanwhile, as for every little bit of high strangeness, I don't know that we need to necessarily understand every single thing we're 'seeing' as much as 'acknowledge' that we're seeing something, look for the 'nature' of it, and admit the possibilites in an open manner, because, I'm thinking the effort we expend in trying to put these pieces together is part of the process of making a choice to allow ourselves to open 'curtain number three'. What's behind that curtain, or what we'll 'see' inside us, is no doubt very ugly, but if this is an "involuntarily" happening, maybe we're preparing for it, or are in the early stages of it, and regardless of our wishful thinking, it's gonna happen. Thermonuclear blast huh? Yup...I'd say that's something to get ready for if these "aspects of ourselves" are coming our way whether we're 'comfortable' with them or not! Imagine being in the middle of such a 'blast' and having no idea of what is happening!

Lucy

 

[joeshmoe]

Edit: No sooner had I posted this, that I got this unrecognisable firewall message. Any techies about?

I did a tracert, and got nothing usefull. So I tried whois, and got this:

218.18.2.160
Record Type: IP Address

OrgName: Asia Pacific Network Information Centre
OrgID: APNIC
Address: PO Box 2131
City: Milton
StateProv: QLD
PostalCode: 4064
Country: AU

ReferralServer: whois://whois.apnic.net

NetRange: 218.0.0.0 - 218.255.255.255
CIDR: 218.0.0.0/8
NetName: APNIC4
NetHandle: NET-218-0-0-0-1
Parent:
NetType: Allocated to APNIC
NameServer: NS1.APNIC.NET
NameServer: NS3.APNIC.NET
NameServer: NS4.APNIC.NET
NameServer: NS-SEC.RIPE.NET
NameServer: TINNIE.ARIN.NET
Comment: This IP address range is not registered in the ARIN database.
Comment: For details, refer to the APNIC Whois Database via
Comment: WHOIS.APNIC.NET or http://www.apnic.net/apnic-bin/whois2.pl
Comment: ** IMPORTANT NOTE: APNIC is the Regional Internet Registry
Comment: for the Asia Pacific region. APNIC does not operate networks
Comment: using this IP address range and is not able to investigate
Comment: spam or abuse reports relating to these addresses. For more
Comment: help, refer to http://www.apnic.net/info/faq/abuse
Comment:
RegDate: 2000-12-07
Updated: 2005-05-20

OrgTechHandle: AWC12-ARIN
OrgTechName: APNIC Whois Contact
OrgTechPhone: +61 7 3858 3100
OrgTechEmail: search-apnic-not-arin@apnic.net

Queensland? Is this an Eschelon thang?

 

[joeshmoe]

I was premature, it doesn't look like Eschelon, i tried the address in the suggested http://www.apnic.net/apnic-bin/whois.pl and got this:

inetnum: 218.13.0.0 - 218.18.255.255
netname: CHINANET-GD
descr: CHINANET Guangdong province network
descr: Data Communication Division
descr: China Telecom
country: CN
admin-c: CH93-AP
tech-c: IC83-AP
mnt-by: MAINT-CHINANET
mnt-lower: MAINT-CHINANET-GD
status: ALLOCATED NON-PORTABLE
changed: hostmaster@ns.chinanet.cn.net 20010528
changed: hm-changed@apnic.net 20041207
source: APNIC

person: Chinanet Hostmaster
nic-hdl: CH93-AP
e-mail: anti-spam@ns.chinanet.cn.net
address: No.31 ,jingrong street,beijing
address: 100032
phone: +86-10-58501724
fax-no: +86-10-58501724
country: CN
changed: lqing@chinatelecom.com.cn 20051212
mnt-by: MAINT-CHINANET
source: APNIC

person: IPMASTER CHINANET-GD
nic-hdl: IC83-AP
e-mail: ipadm@gddc.com.cn
address: NO.1,RO.DONGYUANHENG,YUEXIUNAN,GUANGZHOU
phone: +86-20-83877223
fax-no: +86-20-83877223
country: CN
changed: ipadm@gddc.com.cn 20040902
mnt-by: MAINT-CHINANET-GD
remarks: IPMASTER is not for spam complaint,please send spam complaint to abuse@gddc.com.cn
source: APNIC

 

[Craig]

Meh - it's probably nothing. Seems there might be a few spammers from that region targeted some websites & computers. Thanks Joe.

 

[Guest]

Next week I'll be away from my computer and the internet, so it'll be a good time to sit down with a notebook and see what I can come up with.

From my experience, the computer even if it is a laptop has a strong electromagnetic field, which can be disruptive when you want to really get deep in yourself and do some digging. If there are blocks, I found that such inner searches need a bit of psychological preparation, a really comfortable environment (preferably around as much nature as possible) and an understanding with oneself that there is nothing to fear and no reason to hide anything from oneself.

Good luck :)

 

[Craig]

I had the first dream ever this morning that involved lizard-beings: deep green scaly skin, frilly fins for ears and bright glowing yellow eyes. They had sort of invaded locally and were dematerialising everybody they came across. Earlier I posted the general theme but realised just now that much of it coincided with some things I read from Mouravieff (vol.2) last night.

 

[Guest]

I had a dream of lizard-beings once. The dream started off mundane, but at some point dream people were seriously putting me down and telling me to "submit". I noticed that the dream would ripple like a liquid medium at times as well. I partially woke from this and went back to sleep and found myself in the same dream opening some door in a wall and coming into a dark room with these three characters in shimmering robes (one was purple, the other silver and the third magenta).

Their "cowls" were down and they were bent over this machine mumbling and playing with the knobs. Everytime they turned the knob a ripple would go through the reality. On the viewscreen of the machine was a an image of me sleeping in bed. I got pretty pissed at this and yelled at them as I started running with the intent of smashing the machine and hopefully some heads. They looked really startled in the manner of "That's not supposed to happen", and one of them made a gesture and all of the sudden I popped awake.

These three were a bit shorter than me, with smooth skulls and no ears. They had two holes for nostrils and lips like a frog or a fish, but smaller, while their eyes were hooded or I could not see them, or for some reason that part of their anatomy was wiped from memory.

Anyway, dreaming of lizard beings may be also connected to some of the current disruptions in thought process and communication modes. Just another few thoughts on current strangeness...

 

[Ben]

It's strange - I dream about them in some (horrible) way or another every few nights. At first I assumed that my subconscious was just so saturated with them that it was reflected in my dreams, but if that is the only explanation then maybe you guys would have experienced the same. The terrfying nature of the dreams (read nightmares) is also odd because in my waking life I never think about hyperdimensional beings with great fear, mostly just fascination and anger/annoyance. I don't think I'm suppressing some great fear of them during my waking state, so I'm starting to consider these dreams in suspicious way.

 

[Guest]

I hardly ever dream of reptiles per se, but when manifestations or "people" in my dream try to work against me, and I happen to become lucid, there is almost always a reaction as if I am on the verge of "unmasking something" and then its almost as if I am not in my own dream but partly in someone or something else's, like some virtual matrix posing as a dream.

I found that these dreams try to set up bad things to happen the next day, and they almost never get away with it. Once "they" rigged my car in the dream and I drove it off a cliff. The next day a wasp flew in my face as I was driving and I crashed into a stop sign. Luckily I was only going around 15 mph and only did damage to the car (which was bad enough!).

Still, these dream personages always seem frustrated in going too far (although it is obvious they want to), because that would somehow reveal something about them they do not want me to know.

I did notice that often they try to amp up a sense of fear, which I countered by learning lucid dreaming and taught myself to fly over them when things got too tough. I did observe that what goes on in the dreamscape seems to be at odds with waking reality instead of a natural extension of waking experience, as if the dream is trying to program what goes on the next day instead of being a result of the previous one.

 

[anart]

I can't recall every seeing a 'lizzie' in a dream either. I have had many dreams of snakes (even snakes eating people and other snakes) - and of turtles (but those are very cool dreams). I once had a dream in which I awoke and went to look in the bathroom mirror - my face was covered with tiny little gray feathers, like an African Grey Parrot has on its head and face ( check my current avatar for an example) - it was SO cool! I had tiny bird feathers on my face, but the structure of my face was the same. My hands were still covered in my regular skin, which I noticed when I reached up to touch my face to feel how soft the little layer of feathers was. LOL - it sounds very very odd, but it made me so happy in the dream.

=)


(~glances over her shoulder, looking for the men in white coats coming to nab her~)

 

[Craig]

Does he want a cracker?

Speaking of lizzies, the one in my dream looked quite close to this picture I found on Google Image search.

But you couldn't see the pupil, the eyes were just lights. Notice the habit it is wearing EsoQuest. It would make your dream all the more strange if you had no such associations; many abductees have reported lizard beings wearing hooded clothing - including Ted Rice in Masquerade of Angels. Lucy, I would recommend reading these perhaps after you've written out your notes.

There've been two oddities today involving my mother. After telling her about the dream, she said that earlier in the day there were two occasions when she could've sworn to see somebody walking past and didn't reappear on the other side of the bush (as mentioned earlier in the thread). Then about thirty minutes ago, said she glimpsed a figure that looked like me move through the wall in the bathroom. Well that was funny, because she was expecting me to be in there when in fact, I'd gone into another room.

If anybody should be nabbed it's her!

 

[Lucy]

Next week I'll be away from my computer and the internet, so it'll be a good time to sit down with a notebook and see what I can come up with.

From my experience, the computer even if it is a laptop has a strong electromagnetic field, which can be disruptive when you want to really get deep in yourself and do some digging. If there are blocks, I found that such inner searches need a bit of psychological preparation, a really comfortable environment (preferably around as much nature as possible) and an understanding with oneself that there is nothing to fear and no reason to hide anything from oneself.

Good luck :)

Thanks for the info and advice EsoQuest. It makes perfect sense. Since I can type faster than I can write, I was opining the fact that I wouldn't have the use of a computer, but now I'll consider a plus. As it turns out, there will be some access to nature, although probably mostly by viewing it through a window, since the weather has suddenly turned and we've got snow, with sleety rain in the forecast. I'll let you guys know how it goes.

Lucy

 

[Lucy]

Speaking of lizzies, the one in my dream looked quite close to this picture I found on Google Image search.

I immediately clicked on the link, and although it's in profile, the shape of the head, and the overall features, closely correspond with something I saw one night while in bed with my eyes closed ready to go to sleep. I was still awake, and it was as though out of the darkness something very small in the distance started coming towards me. As it got bigger and bigger I recognized it as the face (the frontal view of a head only) of a female lizard being. It was colorful, as though 'she' had make-up on, and she was smiling at me, not looking threatening at all. But she was still 'scary' to me because I felt I knew 'what' she was. As it got really close, just before we were 'nose to nose' I opened my eyes. I think I was afraid 'she' was planning to merge with me, or enter me. Ugh! After that I was afraid to try to go to sleep for awhile, but when I did, nothing else happened. Now I'm wondering 'who' that rather pleasant looking (in a certain context) lizzie female was. Could I have been seeing a reflection of myself? At the time (about 3 years ago) I was still quite invested in maintaining an 'always a pleasant person facade' to the world, although I was at least understanding that it was a false and manufactured 'facade' and I (whoever I am) was actually hiding behind it.

Masquerade of Angels. Lucy, I would recommend reading these perhaps after you've written out your notes.

I'll do that. I was just getting ready to click the link when I registered the sentence with your advice to wait. So I've bookmarked it.

There've been two oddities today involving my mother. [...]
If anybody should be nabbed it's her!

I know what you mean! :) My sisters and I are somwhat frustrated that our mother isn't available for us to confront. Not that I necessarily think it would do any good, but it would certainly be interesting to be able to give her a 'scratch' test in person and observe her in action. Of course, that could also be dangerous. And for my sisters there's also a sense of being robbed of a chance to confront her just to vent their anger. At this point I no longer share their frustration about that, but I certainly understand how they feel.

Lucy

 

[Guest]

Speaking of lizzies, the one in my dream looked quite close to this picture I found on Google Image search.

I immediately clicked on the link, and although it's in profile, the shape of the head, and the overall features, closely correspond with something I saw one night while in bed with my eyes closed ready to go to sleep. I was still awake, and it was as though out of the darkness something very small in the distance started coming towards me.

I also checked out the picture, and it is very similar to what I saw. My subconscious during the experience for some reason associated the "beings" with the Cylon leaders from the old Battlestar Galactica series. In the this case they were reptilian, only the color of their skin was bluish-grey, and the robes were shimmering of the three different colors, which seemed to indicate different roles they played in using their "machine".

There was a cowl folded back, that shited to a high collar and back. I hadn't read about the cowl thing until a few months ago, when I started reading the C's stuff and checking out some "Lizzie" sites. These critters seemed to be the brains of some operation, and were more physically feeble than what I might expect "Lizzies" to be. What strikes me now upon remembering the episode is that in their panic at having been uncovered these three amigos tried to cover their eyes not phycically, but by making my mind unable to process what I was seeing, or rather confuse the real image with several overlapping representations and a kind of "suggestion" that their eyes were "unimportant". So I am not sure about that aspect, but do have a sense that looking at them in the eye with a certain determination freaks them out.

Another thing that relates to Lucy's account is that the dream occured right before I woke up and I was able to catch myself before fully awakening and re-enter the dream in a hypnagogic state, essentially between sleep and wakefulness, but otherwise conscious. Being conscious, their machine could'nt affect me, and since then when some dream tries to instill a sense of defeat in me I remember to enter it with a little intention in the hypnagogic state of partial wakefulness and reverse the damage.

I've also done this in the waking state later in the day and it seems to work as long as the imagination can remain open and passive to what comes up. The dream can be replayed and often provides valuable information that way, and any atttempted wounding can often be reversed.

I have had many dreams of snakes (even snakes eating people and other snakes) - and of turtles (but those are very cool dreams). I once had a dream in which I awoke and went to look in the bathroom mirror - my face was covered with tiny little gray feathers, like an African Grey Parrot has on its head and face ( check my current avatar for an example) - it was SO cool!

I realize one must be careful in looking to interpret dream symbols for others, so just consider this my take on these symbols from personal experience, after having quite a few dreams with them.

I dreamt of snakes when others were wishing ill of me or when entering some kind of psychic territory of negative thoughtforms (situations in waking life prevalent with them). When I encountered groups of people at odds with each other the snakes would be devouring each other, as if two factions of negativity were at war. Other times snakes were more neutral, representing some kind of emotion/instinct energy manifestation.

Turtles, I found are always positive for me, and seem to be giving the message "you are a child of nature", or at least a connection with the natural planet in some way (the opposite of an "alien" experience)), as the turtle represents Mother Earth in many cultures.

Birds of the non predatory variety I found to represent the soul. Growing feathers, especially if it feels cool (according to this view) is a sign of growing soul qualities, or at least becoming conscious of them.