Alien Dream & High Strangeness

[Lucy]

Speaking of lizzies, the one in my dream looked quite close to this picture I found on Google Image search.

I immediately clicked on the link, and although it's in profile, the shape of the head, and the overall features, closely correspond with something I saw one night while in bed with my eyes closed ready to go to sleep. I was still awake, and it was as though out of the darkness something very small in the distance started coming towards me.

I also checked out the picture, and it is very similar to what I saw. My subconscious during the experience for some reason associated the "beings" with the Cylon leaders from the old Battlestar Galactica series. In the this case they were reptilian, only the color of their skin was bluish-grey, and the robes were shimmering of the three different colors, which seemed to indicate different roles they played in using their "machine".

The lizzie female I saw had a sort of deep rose-beige skin tone, but what I perceived as make-up, which is what emphasized her features, was bright and garish, metallic in nature, and included coral/red, green and blue, as I recall. There was no body, just a disembodied head, which I perceived as 3-D in nature, not flat, so I got a sense of the shape of the head, which was exactly like the image at the link.

Lucy

 

[Lucy]

I once had a dream in which I awoke and went to look in the bathroom mirror - my face was covered with tiny little gray feathers, like an African Grey Parrot has on its head and face ( check my current avatar for an example) - it was SO cool!

I realize one must be careful in looking to interpret dream symbols for others, so just consider this my take on these symbols from personal experience, after having quite a few dreams with them.

Birds of the non predatory variety I found to represent the soul. Growing feathers, especially if it feels cool (according to this view) is a sign of growing soul qualities, or at least becoming conscious of them.

So why does the symbology of anart becoming more soulful not surprise me? ;)

Lucy

 

[anart]

So why does the symbology of anart becoming more soulful not surprise me? ;) Lucy

Awwwww, shucks ~blushes and kicks some rocks at her feet~ --- (general reminder to all that Lucy is here to encourage anart when anart thinks it's all too much to deal with - which just happens to be pretty much every day. ;). Not sure how she got hornswaggled into that job, but I think it must involve a great deal of money and having her wildest dreams granted. =D)

 

[anart]

I'll try to relate a very interesting part of a dream I had last night, because it was so unusual (for me). The dream had been going on for awhile, involving the members of my immediate family before my siblings developed families of their own (with the illogical exception of my sister's daughter). I was showing my sister that I could levitate if I concentrated on it, and as I left the ground, the rest of my family, who were sitting in a living room, simply disappeared. My sister was very disconcerted, but her daughter said, "I can too" and joined me in the air. That was cool, we flew around for a short while. After I landed, my finger tips started to be really very sore, as if the skin was super dry and splitting apart. I showed my sister and she thought something was very wrong, and upon her saying that, I looked closer at my finger and thumb tips which were a light pink in color, rather like the meat of a salmon. As I looked at them, I realized that where the epidermal lines that form the finger print were, the skin was pulling apart, forming what looked like gills - very very thin layers of skin along each fingerprint line, and these layers of skin could pull apart from one another, lifting up and apart. It didn't really hurt, but I felt a stretching of my skin. Even more odd, (yes, more odd) was that after I realized and accepted what was happening to my fingertips, the part of my forearms closest to my hands, and my hand bones themselves, started to elongate. Again, it didn't hurt, but those parts of my arms/hands felt very heavy as they stretched and deformed into what looked very like the forearms and hands of an orangutan, without the hair. I knew, in the dream, that the physical transformation was due to my demonstrating my ability to 'fly' or levitate at will, and that if I had not used that ability then my fingertips/hands/forearms would not have deformed. After the deformation completed with my forearms, I reached out to touch the hair on the head of my sister's daughter, and although the movement of my arm was odd, the feeling of touching her head was the same as always. It was a very sharp, clear experience, in that dream, and one I won't soon forget.

 

[Guest]

I was showing my sister that I could levitate if I concentrated on it, and as I left the ground, the rest of my family, who were sitting in a living room, simply disappeared.

I had a dream once (one that marked a major transition in my life), where I was in a white room looking in the mirror. My reflection shifted through all these TV show characters and then started aging. All of the sudden, it didn't seem right and I tried to will myself back to me. It was difficult so I lay on the floor, and started levitating. For some reason being able to levitate was associated in my subconscious with being able to resist these illusions of self imposed upon me. Levitating seemed to make me for focused in the dream, and I felt capable now to leave the white room and deal with a lot of contradictions and adversities that also tried to compromise my deeper nature.

So, IMO it is not surprising that levitation in your dream was followed by the transformations you described, and which may even be connected to transformations on the cellular level given their organic presentation. In my dream, levitation was like a statement of self tantamount to defying the laws of subconscious "gravity" or entropy, and I also knew that I could not experience what amounted to life-transforming revelations in the dream if I had not passed that "test".

 

[Craig]

Well I might as well just keep updating this thread. I've only been having more alien-themed dreams (no strangeness in particular); one here from my journal:

Wednesday, 12th April 2006

I had another alien abduction dream last night. I was walking up the street towards the lane, and just over the top of the houses in the distance I saw a ball of light - perhaps it was moving, I can't recall - and then a "tube" of light came out of the bottom which I reasoned was actually a spotlight. At this point, I became rather afraid because I was thinking how it was possible that they could "listen" to my thoughts and know that I was watching them.

So I carried on walking and turned onto the lane. It was here that I sort of "sensed" that an "abduction" was taking place and a curious thing happened. As if I was so scared, I "pretended" (even though I was aware of the pretending) that this "thing" next to me on the road was actually a police car because there must have been flashing blue lights. I couldn't see anything, or hear anything, but it was like a sixth sense that something was there - perhaps even cloaked from my normal senses. I then said in my mind (or was making it aware to myself), "a robotic voice" as if I had heard one. At this point, I sort of just "gave in" and I perceived my body being transported into this craft with beings present, and lying down horizontally for a medical examination. But all of this happened in about three seconds, or so it seemed. While I was horizontal (and I could still see the street) my digital clock from my bedroom appeared in my view, and I watched as the time skipped; the numbers changed indicating that the time that had passed was "erased" from my memory. As soon as it had started, it was over.

Okay, so then I kept on walking, past my old high school. The shop on the corner was now a diner or something and I went inside to sit down with about four other men. For some reason, everybody in there stopped talking, eating, etc. and just stared at me. One of these men told me the reason why (I think) and everybody just carried on.

Then something strange happened; there was a sort of "bustling atmosphere" as if there was a danger approaching. A small saucer may have landed outside and a few little Gray aliens got out and were trying to get me. I remember saying to somebody that they weren't "real" because their eyes weren't "glistening, hypnotic and like looking into an abyss" as some abductees have described them. They were just like opaque rough plastic curves on their faces.

So now, I found myself outside behind the "diner." It's kind of hazy here, but I recall scrambling over a few obstacles to try and escape - and that is all I can remember. I do recall explaining to somebody that it had again been "staged", that something about it just was not real!

There was another one that I didn't record, where upon awakening - or being half-awake - I was so terrified that I began to contemplate suicide, saying to myself, "I can't go on . . . I want out of this life right now!" and then thinking about ways and means. But it was the thought of my mother suffering and having to cope with the loss of her child, and so horrifically, that made me snap out of it. The dream itself, although I think this was the result of the culmination of all of the strangeness recently, involved watching two Gray-humanoids working with some type of instrument in the ground across the street. We were all huddled on the bed, watching them from about one hundred metres away and suddenly, they disappeared and we heard the door being kicked in downstairs and scurrying noises, and bangs as they came up the stairs. I looked at my parents, and asked them whether they were frightened, to which my mother said something like: "No, not when my children are involved..."

I was quite surprised and shocked to later recall those thought-processes, because I've never before been at such a deep level of negative emotion. Finally nodding off, I recall an explanation given that this was a "self destruct program" and that there was another "way out" that didn't involve suicide. Anyway, a few synchronous things came along in my reading not long afterwards that helped me to begin working through this issue.

So finally, there was last night . . . I dreamed of looking up at the "belly" of a ship (maybe with one next to it) and it was rectangular shaped with squared "arms"; sort of human shape made up of squares. The underside was very "pixellated" and there were many tiles of blue and white light. I again (as with previous occasions) had the frustrating impression of having seen this before, but aware that I couldn't remember when I woke up.

Anybody else got anything to report :)

 

[Lucy]

Well I might as well just keep updating this thread.

Hi Craig,
I also meant to be updating this thread, but got sidetracked. I haven't had any alien-themed dreams lately, my dreamlife has been rife with feeding situations. Such as deciding not to feed (make sandwiches) for two people who'd come 'into my house' and wouldn't leave. In another dream I found myself avoiding eating some food made for me by someone who, in the dream only, I was somewhat romantically involved with. This person was trying to pull a 'pity play' on me for being 'late for supper' and not being appreciative of the work they'd gone to to make the food for me. The first dream I 'get'...the second one is not as clear to me. However, I am relating both of them to a personal situation I'm dealing with.

I'm not very good at interpreting dreams, especially other people's, but your dreams did pull up some thoughts:

I've only been having more alien-themed dreams (no strangeness in particular); one here from my journal:Wednesday, 12th April 2006

You bolded the date, is there a special reason for this?

I had another alien abduction dream last night. I was walking up the street towards the lane, and just over the top of the houses in the distance I saw a ball of light - perhaps it was moving, I can't recall - and then a "tube" of light came out of the bottom which I reasoned was actually a spotlight. At this point, I became rather afraid because I was thinking how it was possible that they could "listen" to my thoughts and know that I was watching them.

This made me think about your growing awareness and some concern on your part of how much of this you can, or can't, keep from 'them'.

So I carried on walking and turned onto the lane. It was here that I sort of "sensed" that an "abduction" was taking place and a curious thing happened. As if I was so scared, I "pretended" (even though I was aware of the pretending) that this "thing" next to me on the road was actually a police car because there must have been flashing blue lights.

Again, could this be a concern about 'their' awareness of 'your' awareness?

I couldn't see anything, or hear anything, but it was like a sixth sense that something was there - perhaps even cloaked from my normal senses. I then said in my mind (or was making it aware to myself), "a robotic voice" as if I had heard one. At this point, I sort of just "gave in" ...

This is disturbing. Did you "give in" because you felt it was useless to resist? Were you simply weary of the struggle?

...and I perceived my body being transported into this craft with beings present, and lying down horizontally for a medical examination. But all of this happened in about three seconds, or so it seemed. While I was horizontal (and I could still see the street) my digital clock from my bedroom appeared in my view, and I watched as the time skipped; the numbers changed indicating that the time that had passed was "erased" from my memory. As soon as it had started, it was over.

Okay, so then I kept on walking, past my old high school. The shop on the corner was now a diner or something and I went inside to sit down with about four other men. For some reason, everybody in there stopped talking, eating, etc. and just stared at me. One of these men told me the reason why (I think) and everybody just carried on.

Then something strange happened; there was a sort of "bustling atmosphere" as if there was a danger approaching. A small saucer may have landed outside and a few little Gray aliens got out and were trying to get me. I remember saying to somebody that they weren't "real" because their eyes weren't "glistening, hypnotic and like looking into an abyss" as some abductees have described them. They were just like opaque rough plastic curves on their faces.

So now, I found myself outside behind the "diner." It's kind of hazy here, but I recall scrambling over a few obstacles to try and escape - and that is all I can remember. I do recall explaining to somebody that it had again been "staged", that something about it just was not real!

I'm seeing a connection between the clock/time-erasing, the grays that you knew weren't real, and telling someone in the dream you knew it wasn't real. Are these things indicative of your knowledge that these seeming abductions are 'something else' and are being staged for a particular reason...which may be indicated, or hinted at, by what you relate below?

There was another one that I didn't record, where upon awakening - or being half-awake - I was so terrified that I began to contemplate suicide, saying to myself, "I can't go on . . . I want out of this life right now!" and then thinking about ways and means. But it was the thought of my mother suffering and having to cope with the loss of her child, and so horrifically, that made me snap out of it. The dream itself, although I think this was the result of the culmination of all of the strangeness recently, involved watching two Gray-humanoids working with some type of instrument in the ground across the street. We were all huddled on the bed, watching them from about one hundred metres away and suddenly, they disappeared and we heard the door being kicked in downstairs and scurrying noises, and bangs as they came up the stairs. I looked at my parents, and asked them whether they were frightened, to which my mother said something like: "No, not when my children are involved..."

I was quite surprised and shocked to later recall those thought-processes, because I've never before been at such a deep level of negative emotion. Finally nodding off, I recall an explanation given that this was a "self destruct program" and that there was another "way out" that didn't involve suicide. Anyway, a few synchronous things came along in my reading not long afterwards that helped me to begin working through this issue.

I'm glad your reading is helping you to work through this, because the suicide/self destruct program aspect of this is disturbing. You're being pushed and prodded by these dreams. Are they intended to wear you out? Then there's that dream-comment from your mother! What do you think it meant?

So finally, there was last night . . . I dreamed of looking up at the "belly" of a ship (maybe with one next to it) and it was rectangular shaped with squared "arms"; sort of human shape made up of squares. The underside was very "pixellated" and there were many tiles of blue and white light. I again (as with previous occasions) had the frustrating impression of having seen this before, but aware that I couldn't remember when I woke up.

Yes, you've certainly been looking into the belly of the beast! You're becoming very familiar with it, it seems. It may scare you, but it doesn't seem to surprise you anymore, does it?

Craig, I like to caution you to watch your energy, and your emotional state.

Your comment, "I began to contemplate suicide, saying to myself, 'I can't go on . . . I want out of this life right now!' and then thinking about ways and means." exactly describes what happened to me once in a waking state.

This exact thought came into my mind, seemingly from out of the blue. At the time I was under strong psychic attack that was coming through someone I was living with. When the thought came into my mind I made an impulsive decision to follow through on it. So I put on my coat and walked out of the house, thinking I'd find the 'means' somewhere. I was thinking how far I'd have to walk to find a building high enough to jump from, imagined walking in front of a bus, things like that. It was in November, a very cold night, and I finally decided to simply walk to the park and lay down under a bench (so I couldn't be easily seen), go to sleep, and just let myself die from exposure to the cold.

Fortunately, once I was physically away from the portal of attack my mind started to clear...being in the cold also helped to snap me out of it. It was as though I'd been hypnotized and 'came to'. After about an hour of walking I returned home, shaken up, but with my defenses back in place. I think it was a case of me being physiologically affected by a psychopath who was 'setting me up' because I'd been targetted for destruction.

It was two days later that I moved out of the house, putting a couple hundred miles between 'it' and me. During that two days I constantly felt physically afraid, and later found out there'd been an email exchange mentioning one way I could be killed and it could be made to look like an accident! A plan to kill me! Yikes!

Even after I moved the attacks didn't stop, they just changed in style. But, not being in physical contact with 'it' helped me keep myself 'awake' so I could defend myself.

Somehow your current dreams are reminding me of this. Could it be that there is something of a similar nature happening to you? I don't necessarily mean there is a "someone" who is consciously doing/planning something...but rather, that there is a "someone" who is a portal of attack, and that your defense mechanisms are being dampened by phycical proximity to that person, and the dreams are meant to sap your energy...to set you up? After alll, your growing awareness makes you dangerous to the Predator.

My thoughts may be way off base, but I felt I should share them with you.

Lucy

 

[Craig]

Hi Lucy,

This is disturbing. Did you "give in" because you felt it was useless to resist? Were you simply weary of the struggle?

Yeah, it disturbed me too. There is an impression that comes to mind of a sort of persuasive "deal" being made. They were sort of saying: "Look, if you just stop resisting this simple medical exam, then it will be over in no time and you can get on with whatever you were doing." To which I responded: "Oh, okay. But just get on with it . . ." All of this seemed to happen in about three seconds, the latter half with the feeling of being floated into a horizontal position were, you know, I had the attitude of "tapping my thumbs," "sighing," and "looking at the clock" while they did whatever they did. Then I was back stood up, walking down the lane again.

I'm seeing a connection between the clock/time-erasing, the grays that you knew weren't real, and telling someone in the dream you knew it wasn't real. Are these things indicative of your knowledge that these seeming abductions are 'something else' and are being staged for a particular reason...which may be indicated, or hinted at, by what you relate below?

Well it's certainly not the first time that I've been more or less convinced (and maybe not in a denial way, but a knowing way) that there was something "staged" about it all. Remember what I wrote at the start of this thread (in my first ever dream - that I recall - about Gray aliens):

"It was as if the memories that he would likely recall of seeing this alien face up close, and perceiving strange lights in his face were STAGED. As I watched, I thought this was quite strange, almost shocking. [...] I got very suspicious of the situation. It just (again) seemed like a staged event - and that if we stayed with the child while his parents walked off (it seemed they were desperate to get away) with not even the slightest care about him, we would be "trapped."

I'm glad your reading is helping you to work through this, because the suicide/self destruct program aspect of this is disturbing. You're being pushed and prodded by these dreams. Are they intended to wear you out? Then there's that dream-comment from your mother! What do you think it meant?

Well the fact that I was asking whether she was frightened may say a lot; because no matter how much strangeness happened over the Christmas period, and no matter how much emotional distress I was showing (I actually took a huge kitchen knife and put it in my bedside draw), she just ridiculed me. I would not do that to my children! Ever!

It was made worse because I could see she was contradicting herself; on the one hand describing her own very suggestive experiences with high strangeness, then quite plainly going into denial the next moment. Throughout my whole life, when I've tried to just be "me", she comes along and rejects it, criticizes and humiliates; yes, she shows many personality characteristics of a Narcissist. This current period in my life is very distressing, because my sister (who is also a narcissist) has a one year old child. For some reason, I'm incredibly protective of children and to see my sister now, at such an impressionable age, plainly rejecting her child is just too much and I cannot bear to be in the same room as her. When I am, it takes one act of rejection and I am in the grip of very intense negative emotion - and I react.

What is extremely interesting about this, is that during the summer of last year (and I've mentioned it on casschat) there were several periods of very ridiculously obvious "in your face" synchronicity. I'm telling you, I was seeing the number 111 everywhere and usually, after a week of this, there'd be an incident with her: pretty much always a very heated argument to do with the treatment of her baby. Coinciding with this, I was learning some very painful lessons about my family too. The thing was many of them could see that something wasn't right, and were quite concerned, but they didn't say anything! They'd then turn about face and attack me.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, these 1:11 cycles that seemed to be stripping me bare of any illusions I held about my family, crescendoed on the 11th June (of all dates). This time, I was prepared! I'd noted the synchronicities and vowed to "remember myself". The day and night before, I had plenty of 1:11's, and a few references to boars (i.e. pigs). Well, the next morning I was awake at 6am and I grabbed Laura's, "Ancient Science", off the shelf and randomly opened at a page: p. 262, in which I read:

"We see that the participants in the Themosphoria revered swine, and their rituals featured the washing and sacrificing of young pigs sacred to Demeter... And somehow we find this to be a Canaanite practice that is now very strangely juxtaposed against a religion that is known for its ban on pork. Was that because the sacred animal of the rival religion was the pig, or was it because, in some deep inner core of the founding of the religion of Judaism, the pig is actually protected from being eaten because of its reverence? And if so, why would that be the case? Was the pig ever an embodiment of a god? [...]

Jehovah wasn't terribly interested in grain. He wanted blood:

Exodus
34:19 All that openeth the womb is mine; and every firstling among cattle, whether ox or sheep, that is male.
34:20 But the firstling of an ass thou shalt redeem with a lamb: and if thou redeem him not, then shalt thou break his neck. All the firstborn of thy sons thou shalt redeem. And none shall appear before me empty.
34:21 Six days thou shalt work, but on the seventh day thou shalt rest: in plowing time and in harvest thou shalt rest.

Jehovah's claim to the Seventh day as sacred to himself identifies him with Cronos or Saturn. The Phrygian Adonis is said to have been metamorphosed into a fir by the Goddess Cybele who loved him, when he lay dying from a wound dealt him by a boar sent by Zeus.

Set, the Egyptian Sun-god, disguised as a boar, killed Osiris. Apollo the Greek Sun-god, disguised as a boar, killed Adonis, or Tammuz, the Syrian, the lover of the Goddess Aphrodite. Finn Mac Cool, disguised as a boar, killed Diarmuid, the lover of the Irish Goddess Grainne. An unknown god disguised as a boar killed Ancaeus the Arcadian King, a devotee of Artemis, in his vineyard at Tegea, and according to the Nestorian Gannat Busame, Cretan Zeus was similarly killed. October was the boar-hunting season, as it was also the revelry season of the ivy-wreathed Bassarids. The boar is the beast of death and the "fall" of the year begins in the month of the boar. [...]

Yahweh, the Boar God."

It was at this point that things got a little creepy. Laura had identified the whole boar association with the God of the Old Testament, which I had already read was 4th Density STS! I flicked to the index to find anymore references and found this on page 104:

"So in many ways, the actual work of learning to adjust the lens of one's view of reality involves learning to discern the true nature of the seeker's relationships in order to conserve energy from the OPs in the reality so that the seeker can accumulate enough energy to grow and strengthen the connection to the soul. [...] But to [transform his "life" into an ascending spiral], those secondary roles, those filled by the puppets, the Organic Portals, must be eliminated from the film."

I'm not saying my sister is an organic portal, but what I do know is, there was no "positivity" coming out of our relationship. We just never got along with each other and it was worsened during our teenage years when she went off getting drunk every night and smoking cannabis etc., and I, well, stayed in and read books! Of course, that lifestyle is considered abnormal for a teenager, and so I had to face the brunt of the attack from her there as well. I'm sure most here have similar experiences.

So it was on June 11th (having failed to remember myself, and in fact, I was more focused on another potential portal of attack - which I thought was THE one. The setting up of this "distraction", so to speak, was synchronous in itself) that she became so angry with being confronted by the truth, she actually lunged at me and tried to hit me in the face. I grabbed her arms and she ended up really digging her sharp nails right into my left wrist. What was left? Three very deep, bloody wounds in the "formation" of 111 . . . The number in itself is extremely interesting: "Absolute III" anyone?

So from then on when I was the "wounded brother", I said to myself that enough was enough and just stopped being where she was. I saw that just being in her presence was draining, and that one snide remark from her was all that it took, and I engaged; falling into mechanical sleep. It was hard not to engage when so much lies came out of her mouth about me to other people. It was also around this time that I could plainly see, in a very shocking way, how nobody understands one another. Near in physical form, but almost light years away in terms of realities.

"It places the important lesson squarely upon the human being as described in the Parable of the Prodigal Son. It describes the son as going to a Far Country. It describes the "fall" as a "famine in the country". It tells us how the Prodigal Son went to a "resident of the Far Country" to ask for help. We can easily see that this resident represents the God of this world in his three monotheistic permutations. And what did the God do? He sent the Prodigal Son to live with pigs. And there we see the clear explication of the Organic Portals in our lives. And we also understand the use of the term in the saying: do not cast your pearls before swine, lest they turn and rend you in pieces."

Rather than choosing to see what I was saying about her baby's welfare she put HERSELF first and turned and rend me. Now just in case I'm "overreacting" as some of my family has said, let me describe some of the things she has done recently and then tell me whether it shows a lack of conscience:

+ It isn't okay to take a x-month old child to a pub every night until 10pm;
+ It isn't okay to feed a baby junk food all day, causing her digestive problems and then attacking her because she is having a sugar rush or she won't eat other things;
+ It isn't okay to blame and scream and threaten a child with violence because of a situation you created;
+ It isn't okay to be so completely absorbed with your own fleshly concerns that you don't even notice that your one-year old child had gone out of the door, and is a few steps from running into the road. This has happened at least five times.
+ It isn't okay to consistently give her conflicting signals;
+ It isn't okay (for some strange inexplicable reason) to emotional punish her for not verbalizing her wants and needs when she cannot even speak yet - because you aren't capable of determining them yourself!
+ It isn't okay to reject her emotions, and to humiliate her, because you are annoyed . . .

And it is this sort of behaviour - and which she never seems to learn from, ever - that causes me to literally boil with rage. I mean to ask the parents here, am I "wrong" and unjustified for my concern? It is becoming increasingly obvious that I cannot change things (it would probably require completely different hardware), and I'm in an environment that is particularly narcissistic and lacking-in-conscience; as a result, I am completely alienated. My existence is becoming more and more incomprehensible to those around me, and as a result, they are indeed "my worst enemies".

So Lucy, it is predominantly this issue with my sister and I that just brings me utter despair. I'm seeing some very horrible things, and the only solution is to change my attitude and to "seal" myself from these things that touch some very raw places, it seems.

Somehow your current dreams are reminding me of this. Could it be that there is something of a similar nature happening to you? I don't necessarily mean there is a "someone" who is consciously doing/planning something...but rather, that there is a "someone" who is a portal of attack, and that your defense mechanisms are being dampened by phycical proximity to that person, and the dreams are meant to sap your energy...to set you up? After all, your growing awareness makes you dangerous to the Predator.

Well as you've probably gathered, I don't think it can be necessarily considered as a portal of attack. In your case, it was the more or less direct influence of a deviant mind, whereas in mine, it is the direct witnessing of the shaping of potential deviance, or rather the suffering of an innocent child because of her deviant narcissistic mother. I just cannot envisage myself being so careless, irresponsible and more importantly unremorseful of my behaviour. What's worse is that she does not learn from it! Sure, that issue could potentially be explained by considering the clues and what was discussed in the organic portals' thread, but it still doesn't change anything in regard to my feelings about my niece. In fact, it just brings me more despair - but I know I have to realise that nothing can be done, except to just BE somebody, an uncle she can come to if she so chooses in the future; somebody who at least is striving to accept the universe as it is, and to accept her unconditionally as she is.

That's the best solution I am capable of seeing, at present.

 

[Lucy]

[...]I know I have to realise that nothing can be done, except to just BE somebody, an uncle she can come to if she so chooses in the future; somebody who at least is striving to accept the universe as it is, and to accept her unconditionally as she is.

That's the best solution I am capable of seeing, at present.

I'm in middle-age now, and find myself 'seeing' much in retrospect...relating to many of my lessons through my memories. I've always had a tendency to communicate through the use of stories, parables, examples, etc...I learned this from my father. So once again, as I am wont to do, I will attempt to make my point by sharing a story.

There were six kids in my family. I'm the oldest girl and was the only one who managed to fully bond with our father from birth, and to never completely lose that bond although at times it was severely strained.

When our mother realized this had happened (I was two when she realized this) she took special steps to 'split' my older brothers, and later two of my younger siblings, from him, and with my youngest sibling worked right from her birth to 'attach' her so closely that she didn't have any interest in really getting to know our father (she was designated "mom's girl")...so none of them had the opportunity to naturally bond with him in the way I did, in early childhood. After our mother's death they tried to rectify this, as adults, but it wasn't the same.

As children I also bonded very closely with my youngest sibling (mom's girl) who seemed to naturally gravitate to me. The day she came home from the hospital I held her, looked into her little red face and felt a connection that I'd not felt when my other younger siblings were born. So even though she wasn't at all close to our father she did get a kind of support from him through me. And he obviously loved her although she was trained by our mother not to respond to him. I've come to the conclusion he was the only parent who was able to truly love any of us.

Of all six of us she and I are the ones who have survived our psychophagic mother 'the best'. She and I have experienced a lot of pain and misery connected with our mother, but have managed to keep our lives more stable than the rest. We're both now attempting to do the Work. With the rest of our siblings alcoholism and drug abuse were rampant-- two are now dead, one is in denial (appears to have given up), and one has ruined health and is bitter and isolated. One never became a parent, thankfully, and the rest were terrible parents, neglectful and often overtly hurtful/abusive. My youngest sister and I were the only ones who managed to be responsble. We made mistakes, but our 'motherly love' was strong, and a stablizing thing in our lives.

One of our nieces, who is now an adult, was raised by our older alcoholic brother who was, IMO, a soul in struggle, and a narcissitic mother. She recently told us that we, her aunts, had great influence on her...and when she looks back she realizes that without us she would have become a druggie like her brother and most of her cousins...she very nearly did anyway.

I'm telling you this to emphasize the importance one person can make to a child. So to be "an uncle she can come to" can be of great value to your niece. You already know this, of course, but you are clearly experiencing a lot of pain, so I suppose I'm hoping that my 'story' will encourage you. I offer it as 'support'.

I have more comments about your situation, but don't have time to formulate them right now. I must dash or miss the small window of time our library is open today.

Lucy

 

[tschai]

My first post-so here goes. I used to have a lot of really bad, scary dreams when I was younger-A lot of apocolyptic stuff like cities in ruins and crispy critters (burnt corpses-sorry if this offends anyone-but I was just a little kid and it sure offended me) and lots of dreams about the dead coming back to life and chasing me around. And no it wasn't from watching to much horror on t.v. I was born in 1954 (I am 51 now) so I did not really have much access to the t.v.-But here goes the real fun part-I have been reading the Cassie site for about a year now-and I remember reading one of the C's sessions when they asked Laura if she remembered the dreams about the space ships...that was one of those woo woo moments for me! I have had dreams about ships-there were three types I recall-there were these big, blue gray industrial looking ones-with red trim (weird how we remember stuff like that)-a whole big armada of them. They made not a whisper of sound and were just kind of cruising through the sky-and everyone was looking up and pointing, but no one seemed overly excited. Then there were the classic disk shaped ships-no aliens visible-ust the ships-real shiney, Billy Meier beam ship type craft. Then-the real scary jobbies-these were real fast-silver delta wing type ships-and they were firing lighting bolt like weapons of some type and blowing up the whole neighborhood. That's how I first found out they were even around. I was woken (in my dream) by what I thought was thunder-but the sun was shining-and looked out the window to see these ships blasting everything in sight. I am glad I woke up from that one. I have not been having too many weird dreams until recently-I have started taking melatonin to try and rev up my psyche-and they were baaaackkk-this time black ships-coming out of storm clouds-black as midnight, wedge shaped vessels. At first I thought they were part of the clouds-until I saw the shapes emerging and they had lights (all white lights)and realized they were moving faster than the surrounding clouds. And kids, let me tell you, there were a whole bunch of them. They were not doing anything-just cruising-but real ominous. We had a storm here the other day (I live in Georgia in the US) and I was just cringing-hoping today wasn't gonna be the day...I don't know if I have ever been abducted but I have had a lot of really weird, scary dreams-dreams no little kid OR ADULT should have. I did meet one alien in a dream that has stuck with me-but he (it?) was not a gray- it was orange! With a pebble like texture on the skin. He (sorry I am opting for the male gender-that was what I was "getting" from "him") was wearing a black jump suit and had huge gold eyes with double pupils-like cats eyes. I was not scared of him and felt totally calm-he told me (mentally-he did not actually speak) he was a scientist from another star system and was here collecting plant specimens. Then I woke up. The only other "aliens" I remember meeting-and o.k. this is really weird- I think it was in third or fourth grade-and I had for lack of a better term-a "waking" dream-daydream-what ever-I was in the little boys room-alone-and I just-"went away"I really felt like this was happening! This big saucer (yeah yeah I know-but this is my dream, o.k.?) comes down and these really swell looking people come out-I mean they were really handsome! But they were not your Nordic types-these folks were dark haired. (By the way , Laura-did you ever find your Nordic the C's told you to meet up with?)They took me into the ship-and said they wanted to help me with my future-and wanted to give me knowledge (where were they when I needed them for physics and chemistry class!) and put a gizmo on my head that made me see all kinds of numbers and symbols and then I woke up-still in the john! I thought I was gone for hours-but the teacher never said a word. I am still not certain what if anything took place. Maybe just a flight of fancy- a harmless daydream-if there is such a thing. It's really scary to know that everything we think, feel or do is telegraphed to elsewhere-but then it is awesome to realize upon waking up from an extraordinary dream that what we have just experieced may actually be taking place- that is one of our alternate selves and we have just tasted life in another dimension. I could go on and on-and probably will. I am so glad I found the Cass site (are they still calling themselves that?) I go out at night and look up and see Cassiopaea burning away and feel like -wow-someone IS out there-then I look over and see Orion-I used to really love that constellation-I was born in December and it is a winter constellation-and now know what really lurks there. I am of Irish descent and wonder if I am related to those guys from Kantek...gee I dunno guys. I better logoff before I write a book here.Kantek-Dankhiar. It used to be just UFO's and weird creatures-now it's the Lizzies and who knows what. What an awesome trip we are on.

 

[Craig]

Well, I didn't think it'd take long before something else cropped up. Just found this in the local newspaper about five minutes ago:

A MYSTERIOUS ball of light that zipped across [the town] skies on Monday night has been hailed as a possible UFO sighting.

A family from [the town] say they watched in utter amazement as the flashing light seared through the heavens and then vanished shortly after 10.15pm.

Mum, Nicola ****, 32, says she called the police after being stunned by the Unidentified Flying Object - and was told by an office that similar sightings had been reported in [nearby towns].

Nicola said: "We were stood at the front of our house and could see what was like a big ball of fire in the sky. It came across our house and then moved left towards the ... pub - then moved again and appeared to go into the clouds and all we could see was a big black circle - before it moved again."

Nicola and her family . . . watched the spooky light in the sky for about seven minutes.

She added: "No aircraft could move like that - it was very strange and when I phoned the police the woman on the line said she had other reports including one in [a nearby town] where it had knocked a lot of lights out.

"My sister-in-law was joking that she hoped it was not going to beam us up . . . but honestly I've never seen anything like that in my life."

There is a picture of the supposed light captured by the family and it seems to sweep up in a "J" shape. What really creeped me out was that this family only live down the road! :( *deep breaths*

Update! Here is the image that appeared in the paper; it was actually over the exact same area where I saw two orbs of light at the start of a very strange and vivid dream in March:

 

[Craig]

Uh-oh, earlier my mother reminded me of something that happened on Monday night (and it would have been around 10pm). We were just chatting in her bedroom about nothing in particular, the windows were open because of the heat-wave, and all of a sudden - outside - we heard a very loud noise "sequence". It sounded like a huge piston chuggering away. How to describe it? It went: Chug-shhh, chug-shhh, chug-shhh about maybe ten times. It stopped us both from speaking, and we sat staring at each other, mouths open while we listened. It seemed to get slightly louder and at it suddenly stopped and *I* heard a robotic voice saying something, but it was muffled.

Now we both agreed that at the moment of hearing this, we both had a feeling of dread because it was as if a huge robot was walking up the street. In fact, both of us seemed to imaginatively associated the machine Sigourney Weaver gets into at the end of the Alien film. I said to her: "Can you imagine if it was in fact, an alien invasion underway... it would go from completely normal life one second and then bang, no time to prepare. Complete and utter fear and disbelief."

God only knows why we didn't even bother to look out of the window!! We just sat there, and tried to laugh it off. My impression was that it was coming from the front of the house, whereas my mother "heard" it coming from the back. She didn't hear the robotic voice either.

*shrugs*

 

[anart]

Interesting, Craig ( as usual with your life ;) ) -

I wonder, if what you heard is related to what was seen by others, if that would indicate that it was some type of high-tech 3D craft, since such sounds aren't usually related to 4D craft. Just a thought, either way, it sure sounds like that was one heck of a Monday night.

 

[Craig]

I'll update this while I'm here: Last week I got a copy of Laura's book "The High Strangeness..." and while scanning through noticed she mentioned that alien abductions could be staged, effectively to wear down the victim. I recalled mentioning a number of times that during a few dreams, I had the distinct impression that what I was experiencing was staged in some way. I asked myself, what was the primary emotional effect of all of this high strangeness? Anxiety, fear, feeling trapped and cornered and of course, my suicidal thoughts.

A few days later (two nights ago) something unusual occurred. I was up late again, lying in bed thinking over all that had happened and realised that I'd not conveyed something quite as accurately in regard to some physical pain I was experiencing around that time:

Although, right this second I just remembered another thing (whistling past the graveyard). My, erm, "down below bits" were kind of hurting (a dull aching sensation) that week as well.

Fact is, a "dull aching sensation" was only felt when the pain was subsiding. For about three days, I could barely walk or even move a leg without a piercing intense pain, so much so, I was thinking about going to the doctor. I left it though, and it eventually eased down.

Anyway, my thoughts eventually drifted onto the increases in meteorite sightings and just getting myself anxious over a potential near-future cataclysm. Just at that moment, I heard the most incredible descending/deepening roaring *sssshoooo!* outside and above the house. It was literally like something out of Deep Impact and within a second, I had the most intense burning adrenaline rush (and subsequent "turning to jelly") and I actually sat up preparing to hear an impact and then be obliterated. But a few seconds passed, and I collapsed in relief because I could hear an airplane's engine fading in the distance. I thought it odd that I didn't hear it approaching, but anyway...

After that I couldn't sleep, so read for two hours. I put the book down, turned out the light, and was again thinking over this high strangeness, the dreams and the comment I read in Laura's book. Again, I was getting anxious; it's not the best of moments to be thinking about all of this at 3.32am. I again sat up and noticed through the crack in the curtains that it was getting lighter outside - which was comforting. And noticing this, I said to myself: "Well, it is only three thirty; a common time for a lot of abductions..." and again, at that precise moment my bedroom flooded with white light and I thought: "Oh . . . shit!" The window is behind my head, and I'm staring at the opposite wall that this bright light is illuminating and a horizontal shadow rises from the bottom to the top. My instant impression was that it was an elevator rising, or a door opening!! I sat up, completely panicked, jaw dropped, confused on what the hell to do.

I hesitantly turned around, and realised that it was a car's headlights at the back of the house. Some pretty damn bright ones! The horizontal shadow that rose up was the car park's (of the residential home) barrier lifting up. I didn't know this may happen, because since last week, I'm sleeping in a different room. I was completely embarassed with myself and felt ridiculously pathetic.

But later I wondered... was this the universe's way of showing me, or confirming my strong impression that these incidents and dreams were "staged" in order to provoke a negative emotional reaction (considered after reading Laura's remark)? At one point during this thread, I wrote:

I had the first dream ever this morning that involved lizard-beings: deep green scaly skin, frilly fins for ears and bright glowing yellow eyes [it also had razor sharp teeth like the Hag woman. See here for more on that.]. They had sort of invaded locally and were dematerialising everybody they came across. Earlier I posted the general theme but realised just now that much of it coincided with some things I read from Mouravieff (vol.2) last night.

And that dream began with a lizard being descending down the staircase (from above, to below) in my previous home, and then it ended with me jumping off a roof and committing suicide in despair. I went back to the initial synchronicities and events, which seemed to have a theme of: intrusion and something being removed. When it comes to "breaking someone down", you remove their will/resistance/sense of security by attacking them so that they go into submission.

So that's what I'm considering at that moment: it was all an attack. I wrote down a dream I had in late November, just before all of this started:

The dream began with me among a mass of people rushing to some sort of underground concrete bunker. We all crammed in to what seemed like a tiny room, but then again, there were only about thirty people. There were two thin, high up windows and an exterior door: so really, there didn't seem to be anything "underground" or protective about it. It's just like we had entered a concrete room, with what I imagine had thick walls.

The window glass was yellowed and blurry because of its age. It was reinforced with a metallic grid between panes.

I was looking out of the window to the left (I was in the corner), and I could see an odd looking aircraft in the sky. Its belly looked rectangular shaped with a semi-circle at the front, like an arch window shape. I could see air-vents on the bottom. It was a greyish-white colour, maybe with a blue insignia. I remember it zooming fast overhead leaving a chemtrail and I spotted a word (in blue) on the side, and asked somebody what it said. I cannot remember what I was told. I had some awareness in the dream that it didn't make sense; this made me lucid for about a second or two.

So we were watching it passing overhead, doing some pretty impressive manoeuvres; even hovering at one point. But we were all scared of this craft, even though we knew it was government built (and quite advanced in technology terms; but not publicly known).

Then it was as if a meteorite had hit, or this craft had shot something into the ground. Anyways, it had something to do with this object hitting - as if the government/pilot WANTED it to.

I then looked to my left, and a huge deep blue tidal wave was approaching. I screamed for everybody to push on this door that I was standing behind, because it wasn't locked or sealed. The wave engulfed the concrete room, and we felt the pressure of the water behind the door. But we managed to keep it closed.

The water-level outside seemed to drop (as we were underwater for a short period), and for some reason, we could open the door without the water coming in. In fact, it was almost as if we were now floating, and it was an Ark. I looked outside and we saw an American city - it was New York - but only the skyscrapers poking out of the top of the water. I felt relieved, things seemed quite calm and I jumped out and started to swim towards the city. Other people were following me. But then, the craft overhead started to circle back towards us and started firing at us. So we had to rush to get back inside, which was difficult because of the water currents and everybody trying to get back through this tiny door.

I looked back just before entering this "Ark" again, and saw three fighter-jets (but "futuristic" looking) emerging at great speed out of the water. I had the impression that aliens were controlling these and that they'd emerged from an undersea base.

When we got back in, I spotted a laptop on a table and for some reason I shouted that the craft in the sky was a secret government project called: "Aurora" and that I'd show them an artists rendering on Google Image Search. But I kept spelling it wrong, and kept pressing the wrong keys. At one point, I actually spelt out "Orion", which is strange, but interesting: the syllable "OR" is pronounced the same as "AUR"...

So I got the picture up and I think it looked a bit different, but it was proof. As for the necessity of knowing this, I don't know. Why did it matter??

I also recall looking through old pictures of myself in a photo-album. One was taken at my grandmother's house, in the hallway and the shift in perception of the world startled me. How cosy and comfortable that reality was, and how different and terrible was the one I was now living. Then on the laptop, I brought up the BBC News website and there was an article telling of a comet impact in Ireland, just off the South West coast. It must have sent a tidal wave across the Atlantic towards New York? I think Ireland was devastated by it.

This is really all I remember... It was quite a scary dream...

If it's connected, I wonder whether it was some sort of "head's up"? Any thoughts welcome.

 

[anart]

I actually think there is a high probably that it's all been a set up to evoke exactly the reactions that you've noticed- of course - I have NO evidence of this, and I do think that many of the anomalous phenomena that you've pointed out in your surroundings certainly warrant another look. I think you may be on to something with this, though - and, you tend to be the best judge of what's really going on. It will be interesting to see what else develops.