Laura,
I just wanted to express my heartfelt gratitude for you sharing your life story (up to chapter 24). As I choose not to have an internet connection at home, I downloaded all the chapters and read them on my laptop in almost one sitting. Your profound sense of integrity and humour, despite all you suffered, shone very brightly for me. Thank you so much. The strength and warmth you exude in your writing, I felt personally in your presence at the Barcelona conference recently and very briefly on La Ramblas the following day :) (with Ark and some other lovely folk).
Could someone please direct me to the relevant thread that discusses encountering a 'face at the window' scenario. I am becoming more aware of something that happened in my childhood (aged 4 -7?), which I have only a fleeting memory of. Namely, feeling petrified when a 'shapeless' black shape came towards me one night from the corner of my bedroom, where my toys and board games were stacked, including a typical childrens magic set - which I believe may be relevant. I just ducked beneath the blankets until I feel asleep and was scared of the dark for some time after. Incidentally, it was around this time I can recall looking down at my own sleeping form and flying with my friends, which I naturally attributed to dreaming.
The reason I believe the magic set was relevant was because it validated to me (intuitively anyway) a recent 'feeling' of being 'energetically / psychically tagged' after watching the film Avatar (for the second time). I felt suddenly so, so vunerable - I was almost afraid to sleep despite my usual protection methods. Sure enough, weeks later, just before going on holiday, at my Aunties house, in a strange bedroom, I forgot my protection routine and immediately after falling asleep - I was awake in the same room - but instead of curtains drawn closed at night-time, it was daylight with a 6 foot lizard at the window. Again I felt paralyzed with fear, But kept saying "I am protected" over and over (I have had some experience with what seemed high density forces - probably, namely Higher Self / me in the future). It disappeared after a while, and was replaced by a doorway to what looked like a study - though I could see the light from a reading lamp the desk was around the corner. I felt it would be safe to walk into the 'room' and confront the being / or Higher Self I felt was there, but I was still really scared by the previous experience.
I have shamanic leanings, but with two beloved young daughters and a strong sense of self preservation (being on the menu at McLizzies is not on my agenda!) I don't intend to pursue any path without sufficient preperation (Knowledge protects, ignorance endangers!). I appreciate I still have alot to read, learn and reflect on and I am becoming more disciplined in EE breathing and paleo diet - very slowly but surely!
Therefore, I ask:
1) By crossing some type of 'awareness frequency' threshold, could 4D STS have engineered such technology, to 'tag' potential STO candidates?
2) If one can create an 'alternate reality' or visit a 'past or future life' - what STO purpose would there be in changing anything? My past life in India, where I saw my family and village burned down, because I had certain 'knowledge' has led to such feelings of anger / frustration in this 'present' in carnation (I used to try and save others) - so I have learned alot about letting go and forgiveness. In that 'time' I learned alot also, and taught from a cave before a natural, beautiful 'death' - so if I could (go back in 'time') and change or prevent such tragedy, I would have interfered with my free will at that 'time'. Similarly changing anything in a 'future' life - is there any STO reason why? Hope this makes sense! (Graham Hancocks fictional book, Entangled, deals with this subject and is a good read)
3) Would undergoing hypnosis to go back to my childhood encounter be useful?
Anyway, any advice would be appreciated. Apologies if I ought to have posted this info elsewhere! I have recently received the whole wave series (8 books?) and so, so much is resonating with me as I avidly read the first book, as High Strangness did!
Thanks again Laura :)