Any thoughts on Incels?

[Oxajil]

It is a little awkward this movement is growing. Anyone has some idea about what has sparkled it and what can be done to hinder it?
I have personal friend who fell to it. That's why I am bringing this up.

You've gotten some good suggestions already for planting seeds here and there. I just wanted to add that if he's pretty set on his conclusion at this time, he might still change his perspective with more experience.

 

[Alejo]

Sorry, but your writing on this topic is rather confusing. Here you say "I don't think so" and then in the following sentence you actually entirely agree with what I said ("I have plenty of good relationships with people who I am not sure what level of work they're engaged in doing, but it has never impeded having a good relationship.")

So why the "I don't think so" in the beginning?

oh, yes you're correct.. I re read the original post I was replying to and I noticed that you said "possible" and I misread it as "impossible" so my reply was "I don't think it's impossible" so yes, I stand corrected. Thanks!

I know that I am challenging you a bit on this. I hope you don't mind, even though you have a higher "official status" here.

oh not at all, this is a discussion forum and I don't consider myself any less capable of making mistakes or not understanding something fully. See right above.

Hoping that someone will start doing the Work once they are in an intimate relationship does not seem to be a good idea. It seems very unlikely that something like this would happen.

I agree.

 

[Ina]

An unsophisticated pov., mine: Incel 'subculture' appears to be a feminist movement consequence exacerbated and validated by DEI into a movement. It is part of cancel culture philosophy and it breeds where victim mentality is present. 'Make your bed in the morning' JP.

The 30s women, the non b...h kind, also have problems finding boyfriends out of fear of meeting 'psychos' or young guys without a preocupation for getting and living a life out of fear of life being so hard. Go figure.

 

[Alejo]

I have been thinking about this for a little while, and a thought occurred to me that I wanted to share.

On the one hand, naming something is actually truly powerful, like when you receive a diagnosis and you finally know what's been bothering you, however if you only receive it, not as a way to identify something to work on and change but simply as a way to name it, it actually works like a jail, it condemns you to a fate dictated by whatever the concept is.

And it strikes me that in this case, the whole Incel idea is designed precisely as such, it's a term that is supposed to mean something specific but it actually means nothing, it's designed to make men afraid of ever finding themselves in a position where they're not having any intimate interaction.

But, It misses the entire point of being single and not sleeping around, sometimes it's healthy, sometimes necessary, sometimes it is adequate and the only consequence of poor choices or awful behavior to push everyone away. As if not being sexually active was somehow a mistake, when in fact being able to live a life that isn't ruled by sexual drives is one measure of maturity.

But also, once you decide to go back out into the dating scene, the urgency of not being an incel, actually creates a rush that will more than likely result in the wrong attitude about intimacy and sex.

So, this is perhaps all by design.