Are you an introvert or just a covert narcissist? Test!

diligence said:
I remember someone asked me why I ate like I do once, and I went into mitochondria and energy and things like this. It sounded ok, and they kind of understood, for that second. Then they just go on wondering why I eat like I do.

Their brain probably stopped and their eyes probably glazed over. We probably shouldn't do that to people. Now they've probably got a brain fog around that conversation that they'll never penetrate. :) My technique is a reflection of how people generally read newspapers: headline, or first sentence or first paragraph, then onto something else. IOW, if someone asks me something about my diet, politics or whatever, I spare them my real thoughts initially, because I figure what they're really asking is more about just relating to me somehow.

My general rule is to just give a headline. If I can't, then it's: give 'em a short paragraph and make it a story with a happy ending.

Example: someone finds out I'm using Glycine as a sweetener and they ask about it. I might say something like: "I heard it has amino acids and tastes sweet." I might also add: "I figure since sugar and most artificial sweeteners aren't all that good for you, I'd try this glycine instead and now I'm feeling a bit better!"

See what I mean...a little story in plain words with a happy ending. Leave them smiling if possible.

diligence said:
Someone asked me why they should vote for green party (which even I don't exactly endorse, but they had asked me who I voted for). I just said it is up to you to figure it out. Really, there is no use there.

Most people seem to be pretty dumb about politics anyway, so if it's not a serious conversation, you could probably get away with just glossing what you think or feel initially. If you can't avoid certain political conversations, you can speak tentatively, like you're not sure what to believe and you ask "...what do YOU think?" as often as it will work because generally, people like to talk about themselves and what they think.

Again, I think that most of the time, people don't really want to know what we really think - especially while on the job. They're just trying to fill a psychological need for 'relatedness' with another human being.

diligence said:
These are how I think people around me can improve. Usually it is just that they treat people in a different way than I would. They do it hysterically and rudely.

Most of the time when we have to interact with unpleasant people, we wind up simply "suffering their unpleasant manifestations" (Gurdjieff).
Those are helpful points. In many cases it is better to give no idea than to give the wrong idea, for the sake of strategic enclosure. With too much information at once, and the wrong tone or expression, blocking out such information is a common reaction and natural.

I don't know if any of the following is relevant, if not it can be ignored. I feel like perhaps I should stop speaking of myself at this point, as I seemed to kill the thread because others are not replying for themselves. :) I had written up a reply but it was too long. Hopefully this is shorter. But in those two cases I perhaps assumed too much in terms of them 'not getting it,' which I don't know if it could've been to put a point in my favor of being 'special,' or just to keep the info compact. The audience had known a little about mitochondria and energy, and I kept it to four sentences or less, so they did seem to see my point of view for a little while. Information like that is easily forgotten, including by me. That person just continued to think I don't eat enough, which I guess I never really countered - though I once showed others who thought this the amount of calories I ate. Nonetheless, since I am not abrupt with them to make them stop (which would succeed, but they would then stay away from me), "he doesn't eat!" is an ongoing comment, and I just smile or tease a bit so there's no bad feelings. I think Miss Manners once said you don't comment about what people eat, and it is much easier not to talk about politics. She is right. I never judge their food one way or the other, in fact all I ever say on that account is 'that smells good.'

As for my view of politics it was with a person who was already 'disappointed' with American policy, so more open to things and probably is interested in my opinions. It is simply that they had also made some comments about Russia and Cuba and such being the same, long-term dictators (or, though they don't know it, simply oft-reelected figures) all being evil "kings" and outdated. But then I thought this too once upon a time (not Cuba, but probably about Putin years ago). Their comments included "I hate Russia; Russians are weird." I have my own ways of relating information, bit by bit, for sure. This one is interested in music so I mentioned a pop song "99 Balloons"which is oddly applicable to today as much as 30 years ago. They agreed.

There are avenues but sometimes I wonder why they don't know 'more,' which is just me being a little too rigid. I guess in trying to figure out if this is all covert narcissism, it does depend on context and I don't have bad intentions exactly. I might be confused here, too.
I got: 21/50,
"You’re probably not a covert narcissist. According to your answers, you probably don’t spend all your free time fantasizing about your own awesomeness. Congrats."

I'm sure if I was doing this test a couple years back the score would be much, much more higher. About some of the questions I had to think realy hard because, two, three years ago I was reacting and acting diferently than today, so I was not sure should I encompass longer period of time or just recent time, on the end I decided to answer questions acording to the present time. Although test shows score 21 out of 50, I still have lot of room for improvement because I still have to keep my temper under control and need to learn to be more social (that is a bit hard because, I'm not drinking alcohol, not eating cakes, not drinking coke, coffee, you know in eyes of the people in my surrounding it's hard to explain why not eating and drinking whatever is served on party and I still don't know how to make them more confortable with me being on keto).
I knew I'd score high, and I got a 34: "You’re kind of a covert narcissist. You can be pretty self-centered, in other words, but the behavior isn’t out of control." I was trying to be honest and objective. When I did the test for Laura I got a 12. When I'm caught up in OCD, I can be pretty self centered and stuck in my own issues. And I have low self-esteem, so I may have rated myself too hard. I think I come off as a generous person, but my dad has said I am a narcissist in the recent past.

I used to be loud and boisterous with friends as an adolescent, but I have sunken to a more reserved and quiet person as I was as a child. I wonder if I'm a covert introvert, that is, a quiet on the outside person with a bit more open and extroverted personality suppressed inside.

I have made some strides in taking others' considerations into account. It helps if you take a request as a challenge or a puzzle to solve. Then you want to do it more. Not sure if that still counts as narcissism, as you may be doing it to keep your self image and for the "prize" of solving something or helping out. Maybe it's about balance between self and others, and there's always, "Fake it until you make it."

Anyways, interesting test. These are always helpful in that they make for some introspection.
I am an introvert. I consider myself shy, due to some social inhibition and self-consciousness about my ability to read some social ques. This tends to vary depending on my testosterone levels though. (I got 24/50, for those who don't want to scroll up and find my score.)
I got a 25/50.
But maybe the fact that I had been raised by narcissists also plays into this? In any case, here are my thoughts to the questions posed in the test:

- Sometimes I get lost in my own thoughts about my problems and my relationships.
I must admit, This has occurred a lot lately, but I am at a point in life where I do not know which path to take. Fresh out of university, looking for a job, just... yes, I probably do need to also think about other things as well, not just my problems.

-My feelings are easily hurt by teasing or criticism from other people.
That is true, but this is connected to my low self-esteem and because I am a people-pleaser. I want people to like me. If I receive criticism, I have the tendency to tie it in with my self-worth. Like "Oh, this person criticizes me, I must not be worth much then."

- I feel emotionally or temperamentally different from most people.
Not much different, actually. Though, it does seem to me that most people seem to have everything together more coherently, or that they just really know what they are doing in their life. But I recently came to notice that even if some people may appear totally self-conscious, it is only a facade to hide their insecurities. Realizing that helped me to see that I am not that different from others.

- When I enter a room, I become self-conscious, and feel as if everyone is looking at me."
I used to feel like this, not so much any more.

- I don't like sharing credit with other people.
Credit should be given where credit is due. Especially if it is a team effort.

- I feel like I have enough of my own problems and don’t have time to worry about everyone else’s issues.
Oh no. If anyone of my friends has any problems, they are more than welcome to come to me if they think I can help them in any way.

- I often take things too personally.
It really depends on the situation and person. I don't take them personally if they weren't meant to be personally. With my narcissistic mother though...

-I easily get wrapped up in my own interests, to the point that I practically forget that the people around me even exist.
I do have the tendency to get lost in my work or in my interest so much that I forget that there is a world around me as well. And especially during daydreaming.

-I don’t like being with a group unless I know for sure that I’m appreciated by at least one of those present.
In group settings I would like to be there with at least someone who wanted me to be there, rather than being there with people who might not have wanted me there to begin with.

-I try not to show it, but I’m often annoyed when people ask me to take my time and energy to sympathize over their problems.
No, I don't mind listening to the problems of others and helping them out.
You can be pretty self-centered, in other words, but the behavior isn’t out of control.

I think im at that point of realizing im not an introvert as i thought.. but still have lots of characteristics in my personality that resembles my few years ago self being jeje.. lots of work to do :)
Laura said:
I think a lot of you know me pretty well by now, so how about taking the test and answering as you think I would and see what you get?

I tried the test out of curiosity knowing it does not apply to me, and took Laura’s suggestion to try it out for her. I was surprised at the result, as I answered it totally differently from her perspective than mine - and got the same result! I thought there was something wrong with the scoring system or since I did it with my mobile, maybe it was a cache issue.

Laura said:
But interesting that you were narcissistic enough to think you could answer for me and that we might be similar.

As in no way do I think somehow Laura is ‘similar’ to me. However I tried to rely on Laura’s writings from the past and respond (for her) according to the times before she had not gotten a hold of her programs - although responding differently than for me, I still guessed wrong.

Inspiring to read Laura’s response to the test,39896.msg610849.html#msg610849 and see how it is possible to deal with programs and grow.

However, answering the 'covert' test was not only a ‘mobile-cache’ issue, but like always it reveals something about myself. The narcissistic tendencies are there, and although not consciously thinking I’m “qualified” or “good” enough to actually think I could respond for something else, unconsciously I obviously do. Observing these tendencies and choosing the appropriate behavior is all I can do right now.

Laura said:
Jefferson, no way could you even remotely be considered a covert narcissist since you are an overt one. Try this test:

I did the overt narcissist test (scored 18, "Between 12 and 15 is average. Narcissists score over 20"), and I’ve done it the past, and I’ve always scored above the average. This reveals the narcissistic tendencies that are not me, but part of the programs and buffers I personally need to deal with. I could also not be brutal enough with the responses, so I changed a few and the score is around 20-22).
First try:
28/50 -- You’re kind of a covert narcissist. You can be pretty self-centered, in other words, but the behavior isn’t out of control.

Being "brutal", going with the "worst" interpretation as I see myself:
39/50 -- You’re kind of a covert narcissist.

Being "gentle", going on the lighter side of what seem like reasonable answers:
26/50 -- You’re kind of a covert narcissist.

I don't know how well it works, but maybe it's possible to squeeze a bit more information out of these tests by going through multiple times like this. "Impromptu" first, then establishing bounds or at least other possible interpretations.

Question #4, "When I enter a room, I become self-conscious, and feel as if everyone is looking at me." I would say I tend to become self conscious and check to see if anyone is looking at me, although usually they aren't. It's a reflex underlying some issues, I'm sure.

Question #5, "I don’t like sharing credit with other people." kind of divided me, or at least I wasn't sure how to answer. On principle, I'm very careful not to take credit that is not mine. On the other hand, "I like" to be praised for my work/efforts, perhaps too much, which might create a conflict of interest on the feeling level.
with my score of thirty i realized i was answering as i would have many years ago. A lot of these behaviors have since become evident to me and i regularily suppress them due in large part to this forum.
''Probably not a narcissist''

I don't quite feel there yet, but I answered as honestly as possible. In my opinion I feel like there are two key points that arise in someone's life, the first (for me) being: realization of greed and corruption in the world and the second: realization of greed and corruption in self. The realization of the latter drove me mad and made me shut everybody out while embracing mostly bad influences. I was living in a world of denial, but with acceptance my horrible parts came the ability to work on them.

To this day I fear being selfish, even with the realization of my own corruption I've only recently felt the actual gravity of my actions through meditation and contemplation. I'm very proud to say that I can catch myself wallowing a lot easier now and with my change of perception my relationships have gotten a lot better. I catch myself slipping up constantly, but after being honest with yourself once it only gets easier. I guess my anxiety just won't let me let go of the guilt in fear of slipping into old ways. I find it hard to put total faith in what I'm doing and I also feel like I deserve the guilt of holding myself back in shame. Feelings are so ridiculous when you put them to words ah-ha :).

probably not a covert narcissist.

I agree with many who replied here that also my score might have been higher when I took the test some years ago.

And I want to add that criticism is a word... but how ppl deliver it to you is something completely else. And sometimes I am quite amazed how much judging and presuming and prejudice can be put in a simple sentence.
You’re probably not a covert narcissist.

Although, I'm beginning to see that while narcissism can be damaging to people around you, too much introversion can be a self imposed hindrance, especially if you are trying to be a truth seeker and do the work.
You’re kind of a covert narcissist.
You can be pretty self-centered, in other words, but the behavior isn’t out of control

Not surprised, I suffer from low self-esteem issues and that was no surprised to turn me into so called a narcissist because I want positive attention so badly.

However, this doesn't make me a narcissistic person, I'd like to share some of my answers.

"My feelings are easily hurt by teasing or criticism from other people." - really true when you were criticized in the past and those words brings you up again. Like triggering effects. It's not that I can't take criticism, it's that I am triggered with the speech which brings me to the trauma. Such as "you are too sensitive", that hurts me a lot.

"I feel emotionally or temperamentally different from most people." - suffering causing results of depression, so yea, definitely.

"I don’t like sharing credit with other people." - neutral, as I have no experience from that note.

"I feel like I have enough of my own problems and don’t have time to worry about everyone else’s issues." - I think I hit a high mark on here, but that is kind of unfair. Since I am solving trauma on my own, I do don't have time to solve other people's problem, and I don't want to hear about them. Few minutes ago I received a message of my friend broke up with her boyfriend, I have no comment on this as I feel worn out to listen to her anymore.

"I often take things too personally." - same as above, the criticizing, the trauma.

"I easily get wrapped up in my own interests, to the point that I practically forget that the people around me even exist." I do this since I wish my interest could be appreciated. Again, it is very valuable when someone is trying to appreciate you. Without feeling appreciation in my life, I will strive for acknowledgement until I get a slap on my face, or internally realized I overdone it. Of course, when I introspect, I will realize it's unhealthy.

"I don’t like being with a group unless I know for sure that I’m appreciated by at least one of those present." - same as above, the crave for attention, the desire to get acknowledgement. There is only one person that can make me feel safe in the group, and that is the one who gives you acknowledgement.

"I try not to show it, but I’m often annoyed when people ask me to take my time and energy to sympathize over their problems." - As I said before, I don't like to spend time listening to others problem because I have enough problems of myself. I don't want to sympathize with a person who cannot share his or her thoughts in a direct, effective way.

Thus, this is why I am so sensitive, and find it so unbearable to the external world. That being said, everyone started as a narcissist and I am just growing out of it. I am also proud that I have such good realization and consciousness. At least, I think I'm a good analyzer of my issues, and know how to act kind not because I want to fake, but because of fearing to harm.

Of course, everyone has grow out of that stage, and so do I. I am just growing from a child to an adult, and it takes time to because a real adult. A consciousness is what will help me to get to there. I hope I will be there someday!

PS - I really hate the girl with that boyfriend, she is never open to me and expect me to pull out her teeth every time. I'm annoyed by it.
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