Hi bngenoh,
Idd our stories sound similar,but I spent my last 2 weeks off colledge in state of internal conflict,with burning decision to be made,to quit or to keep going.It was like 2(or more)'voices' fought about what to do,and I didnt know which 'voice' was my real,which wasn't,and which should i listen to. To stop doing what I dont want/like, going to colledge seemed like the best idea and aswell the easiest one. But now I realize,that the state of internal confilct I was experiencing was what Gurdjieff described as process in which man is in internal state of conlict the result of which is fusion and crystalisation of the will inside the man.My point is that the 2 weeks of rest were positive in the way I could make a clear look on myself,seperated from illusion I had been drowned in again and to make choice what to do next.I realized that it would be wrong to stay in colledge,or more precisely in illusion in my lies but it would be wrong to quit colledge aswell and take easy way then i fail again cause I'd lose opportunity for more energised learning process.To keep being true self and positive in midlle of the today world which is kinda of oposite,and that is the challenge which is there in order to learn.I even realized that I can finish the 3d year ,get a diploma with I could later continue study on colledge that I really want someday in future possibly.So this thing with colledge was just learning expirience,I just realized it :P
Hi David Topi
The issue is to be aware, the "knowledge protects" motto of the C's is the most powerful advice you can have it here
Idd it is, I begin to realise it more and more,but sometimes I totally forget it and then it all goes down,and then up and so on,it's constant struggle of STS/STO inside ourselves, I'd say.But after each cycle knowledge is more strenghtened and STO potential(maybe?)
I want to add that just by reading wave series and other similar material,after reading I felt better,more protected,positive,connected to higher self.After I spent 4-5 hours reading wave volume 3 , I got in little bit different state of awareness then usual(feeling of peace/freedom) then I went to sleep in same mode,I wake up in morning feeling something (it was good but dont remember how to describe it now) then what happened was that I felt some vibration inside me that I(my higher self maybe) holded,and with will used same vibration to release me of attachments. This was going on in half awake half asleep state but whille the process was going on I knew it's purpose was to drive out spirit attachments.Actually I just remembered that before waking up I dreamt I did same process on my cousin to dispell him of some attachment, so with that strange feeling of knowing I did same on myself cause I knew it will work. What happened was that I saw all kinds of shapes of different colours rising from downside to up and then out,that 'force' was expeling them out and on some level of conciouscness I was making it.After just brief perioed of time all (small)shapes went up and out, but some strange big grey shape left down but it was moving up very slowly,but then I wake up,and back to regular concious. Maybe it's similar to your tehnique, David :)
Hi Ana
Then I think that cataloging most of those around us as OPs just because they are not aware of things we are and lack a specific kind of knowledge is pretty selfish and inconsiderate. Each soul is on a path of learning and they do not need to be aware of more than what is needed to carry on their destiny/lesson profile.
Even OPs are doing so in their own level, as do animals and the rest of beings :)
I agree , I never think of Ops our any other beings as unworthy or lesser or anything, I'm still not sure that I'm not OP myself after all chance is hight 50:50 if cass are right :P
May I ask what is your diet like?
My reaction when I read that was burst of laughter :D cause my diet if it can eve be called that way is just wrong. I eat junk food of all sorts, occasionally meat , I eat white bread drink milk etc. In one word it needs to get changed asap! and I know it I just didn't do much about it recently.My situation is that it's not easy to eat heathy but I know it's not impossible so I'll read these book that I found mentioned on this site :
Dr. Sidney Baker’s Detoxification and Healing and Sherry Rogers’ Detoxify or Die.
Thank you all, you helped considerably.Just by reading and communicating with each of you I already feel stronger. Knowledge protects!