I made it! I am in Canada right now.
I slept last night in a pitch black room. (fabric worked hard to make it room like that. I was still struggling to make it my room dark back home.)
This morning we made detox shake. I did the whole set of EE program.
After I had some organic lemon juice and gluten free cookies. I felt so happy again.
Now I have faith in my bright future.
So I have to make a decision what to do next. It has to be quick but carefully.
By careful consideration, I think leaving my job is not a good move.
... now I need my job back.
The reason is that my parents are still hoping for me to keep my job deeply.
Especially for my father, who has helped me and paid my tuition and expenses for everything in my entire life. I got this job and he was so proud of what I did.
I love my father so I cannot quit it just like that. (even though it could be a good reason to resign.)
My mother still makes me confused by giving me a contradicted statement. She told me that everything started stabilizing in Tokyo. She told me to tell foreigners that Japan is safe.
"People don't know about it because they are not inside of Japan. There is no need to panic and make big deals about it as international news say.
So don't worry...."
After all this, I cannot go back where I was.
I definitely made my boss and coworkers angry because I told them for leaving to Canada in a last minute
My boss asked me if I could stay two more days, he could give me a week off from Tuesday. (the reason was that there weren't enough people working on Monday.)
but I refused...It was mechanical decision based on fear. I think back, I shouldn't have reacted that way. I also should have told fabric and everyone about the incident before I left.
I just wanted to leave from danger...but it wasn't a wise move.
But I have no regret coming here.
My boss told me to write him a resignation letter before I leave because what I was doing was as irresponsible as a business worker; there was no way to help me from the situation.
He told me to write it and send it to him, so he can decide if he is going to use it by the end of the month. Well, I clearly told him that I didn't want to leave my job but I also accepted to write it as he suggested at the moment.
Before I was leaving to the airport, I told my father about it. He suggested me not to write a resignation letter. So I still haven’t written one yet.
This morning, I talked to my parents. They said that my boss called to my parents and told them about the whole situation. My father told him like this, "Aya is not leaving the job. I told her not to write the resignation letter to you. She has left the country for only 2 reasons. There was an earthquake threat and nuclear power threat that made her stressed out, so she couldn’t work. How she left the work was the wrong way, but also how you are treating her is power harassment."
my boss went silent...
Anyway, I still have possibility to get my job back.
My company is merging with another company from this April. I have options to decide which company to work for. I signed up for Metropolitan Company in January but there is way to change it to other company if it’s not too late.
The companies are in Hokkaido, Metropolitan(Tokyo), Middle area(Naogya),West Japan(Osaka/Kyoto), Further West & Shikoku Island, and Kyushu.
I want to go back to Tokyo. But if it’s still risky, I should consider working at a different place in inside of Japan. I am going to talk to the office once I decide where to go.
Guardian said:
Ailén said:
Sorry to disagree with most of you here, but I think this situation needs more thought than just "get the heck out of there!"
Aya, does your family live in Japan? Are they "safe" there, all things considered? Is there anything you could do to help them?
In your situation, I would only move to a place within Japan from which I could help. I would never forgive myself if I left someone who is asking for help, only to be safe myself. (Are they asking? - that's another story)
When everything is lost, and you have no possibility to help others, that's one thing. But right now a lot of people have no shelter, no food, no help from the government, plus the nuclear threat. Isn't there something you can do from there?
I gotta go with Ailen on this one, there are worse things than dying....MUCH worse. I think surviving while your loved ones perish is one of them. I've also found that when you concentrate on helping others, what you need to do so is always there when you need it. Fear is normal, even helpful in some situations, but I don't let it make decisions for me.
If I were in your shoes (and I was when a Cat 4 hurricane hit the Surry Nuclear Reactors) I would make a detailed, written list of ALL my available options, then pick the one that benefits my family, friends, and community the most and go for it with everything I've got. In a crisis, I concentrate on the NOW...not the multiple "maybes" of the future. Maybe a comet will land on our heads tomorrow, but for today, everyone within my reach is warm, has a full belly, and they know they're loved. One day spent helping others is worth a lifetime of saving my own butt...OSIT.
I read back Guardian's post..." there are worse things than dying....MUCH worse. I think surviving while your loved ones perish is one of them."
I felt so sick and panicked because I was thinking so much about the worst. The worst is now I realized is what Guardian said.
I am going to make a list of options and pick the one that is the most beneficial as you suggested.
Nowhere is safe. I am going to keep my mind open.
Ailén said:
BUT, leaving shouldn't be based on fear and "I'm getting the heck out of here" and not stopping to think about it. The only thing that can save Aya and others in similar situations is, for example, to realize (after looking and asking) that this is the way things are, that nobody around you wants help, that their trust their government more than they trust your opinion. When you see that, then you know it's time to leave because nobody wants help anyway.
We are obviously lacking a lot of data about Aya's situation, so I trust that she had thought about these things. All I'm saying is that When we are supposed to act based on knowledge, if we leave, we also have to know WHY we leave, and do it because it's right, and not for selfish reasons.
FWIW.
Some people want to be saved but it's not the time just yet. Maybe they will ask for help in the future.. Going to back to Japan also helps me to feel better, because there are chances of seeing everyone often and I can help them more if I stay there.
Right now, my cousin, uncle and aunt are still staying 50km away from the plant. Also my grandmother and uncle are probably staying even closer 40-50km away from it. They are probably asking for help. There are no trains and roads to get there. They don’t have gas to get out from the place. It’s very dangerous to find them and bring them to a safe place, too.
There is no reason for me to keep staying safe in Canada. What I can do Now is to go back and help my family & friends while I am helping myself...safe.
I am going to order DMSO and some other things to heal from radiation.
Even if the whole thing gets little bit worse this week.....
I think I made up my mind…
