Boardlurker? Read this!!

wand3rer said:
My head is just so crammed full of all these expectation from my parents. They even said to me they think i would join a cult. Not wanting to be on the fence anymore has to be a choice for me, not a reaction. And i so want to make that choice. Im just afraid of letting down people in my family because i would prefer to develop a soul than play the game of material accumulation. Has anyone else dealt with this?
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I think that is really wise. It can be difficult dealing with family members who are not on the same page, but I think it can be done if we use strategic enclosure and external considering for instance and this might also help alleviate the notion of letting family members down.

I don't know whether you are up for it, but if you would like more answers to your question above you could always start your own thread in the Swamp? I am sure there are people who could give you some sound advice. But that's up to you. :-)
 
Hello again!

It's been years since I posted my introduction to contribute to this forum and network.

I know it is me giving in to my fears that have been stopping me, but one curious situation as of late has sort of nudged me into taking action and sharing something that might be of interest to other members. I have also felt bad for just benefitting from everyone's work and not contributing anything.

I will post the description of the motivational situation in a new thread under the Swamp.

I feel humbled to be a small part of this forum :-)
 
In our recent reading workshop we discussed judging others (which is still massively my problem) and @Zar said something that really hit me. Something like when we judge others we should remember that others have their own lesson and at the same time they have their own way of learning their lessons.

And on our last EE workshop @Ant22 said that networking is important because sometime someone said something, in their own words and that could be just the right words for someone.

When someone avoiding networking for numerous reasons, most of them mentioned in this thread, they should be aware of how their point of view or life experience could be potentially beneficial for others.
 
Dakota said:
When someone avoiding networking for numerous reasons, most of them mentioned in this thread, they should be aware of how their point of view or life experience could be potentially beneficial for others.
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I think that this is a very important point to get across to those who don't post because "it's already been said by someone else". (Raises hand) We all feel this way at one time or another.....or all of the time. :-) The thing is, I have, myself, experienced reading - or being told - something and I don't really get it, or I just don't assimilate it. Then, someone else says/posts the same thing, but in different words and all of a sudden, it clicks and I finally understand. So just because someone else has said the same thing you want to say, don't hesitate to post what you were thinking of posting. The way you word it could really help someone else.
 
After reading so many familiar explanations about not joining and feeling afraid to post, I kind of feel relieved that it's not "only me'. I hope that many others will join, too. It is hard when you cannot express yourself, otherwise you will be considered as weirdo, but I'm hoping that more sols will open up their eyes and minds, especially now.
 
Thanks Vulcan, reading this and the comments just now was like a shake up for me. I read alot of the posts and feel a bit inadequate in replying as I feel I'm not as knowledgeable or maybe I might input something that has already been covered and therefore feel I'm only making noise.
But Laura's books have been a fascinating read, but I can't pretend 'I get it' all the time.
I will try and express my views a bit more as the knowledge that has been passed on has been a blessing to me in my life. 😊
Thank you.
 
It has been quite a few years since I first posted here (and as you can see, hardly ever since). I can relate to a lot of the posts in this thread, I felt completely overwhelmed by all the different threads and the size of those threads, I also didn´t really think that anything I could add would be of any substance, especially compared to what some of the people here were writing. I was afraid that my english wasn´t good enough to get things across.

But most crucially: I suffer from the "disease called tomorrow". I often find all kinds of reasons to put something off to the next day. And then the next. And so on. I always did so, and I still do.

Throughout all those years I still was/am a daily SOTT-reader, I still read a lot of books from your recommended reading lists (and in the last few months also from what was discussed in Mind Matters). I was still trying to incorporate certain things in my daily life, working on some of my issues concerning patience and also with trust in new people; and looking back, comparing myself now with myself some years ago, I think there is definitely some progress. But NOW, for the first time in all those years I can FEEL (or at least I believe I do) what the C´s meant when they said you will be blocked in your efforts if you´re not networking. Reading Azize and Alan Francis, I also was strongly reminded about something Gurdjieff said: I need to set myself a definite aim, which until now I never really did. And after reading Jordan Peterson I realised that maybe it´s ok if these aims are small at first, if it only makes me take the first steps.

Without my daily reading SOTT, and the people who comment there or on facebook, the last 10 months would have been much much harder, because there is a lot of great humor with you guys and it makes this whole crazy year a lot easier to get through. This year also showed me that the brown stuff is finally starting to really hit the fan, it´s not just theoretical anymore. At the same time, I had to realise that no one in my family and circle of friends was very much interested in spiritual topics (but at least most of them don´t fall for this scamdemic) . And to top it all off, I had an emotional roller coaster these last few months by falling in love with a married woman. So all these thoughts and feelings gradually accumulated in me, and right now, on this evening, I felt the need to come back here and just start.

And it was of great help to read through this thread and realise that a lot of people have or had the same, or at least similar issues as I do. I never was a boardlurker, I just didn´t come here except for looking for the newest transcripts of the C´s, which is propably even worse than lurking.

So my first aim for the rest of 2020 is to finally start working on overcoming these "fears" about contributing, and, more generally, working on healing my "disease called tomorrow", before there is no tomorrow.

Thanks
 
zoidbergh77 said:
It has been quite a few years since I first posted here (and as you can see, hardly ever since). I can relate to a lot of the posts in this thread, I felt completely overwhelmed by all the different threads and the size of those threads, I also didn´t really think that anything I could add would be of any substance, especially compared to what some of the people here were writing. I was afraid that my english wasn´t good enough to get things across.

But most crucially: I suffer from the "disease called tomorrow". I often find all kinds of reasons to put something off to the next day. And then the next. And so on. I always did so, and I still do.

Throughout all those years I still was/am a daily SOTT-reader, I still read a lot of books from your recommended reading lists (and in the last few months also from what was discussed in Mind Matters). I was still trying to incorporate certain things in my daily life, working on some of my issues concerning patience and also with trust in new people; and looking back, comparing myself now with myself some years ago, I think there is definitely some progress. But NOW, for the first time in all those years I can FEEL (or at least I believe I do) what the C´s meant when they said you will be blocked in your efforts if you´re not networking. Reading Azize and Alan Francis, I also was strongly reminded about something Gurdjieff said: I need to set myself a definite aim, which until now I never really did. And after reading Jordan Peterson I realised that maybe it´s ok if these aims are small at first, if it only makes me take the first steps.

Without my daily reading SOTT, and the people who comment there or on facebook, the last 10 months would have been much much harder, because there is a lot of great humor with you guys and it makes this whole crazy year a lot easier to get through. This year also showed me that the brown stuff is finally starting to really hit the fan, it´s not just theoretical anymore. At the same time, I had to realise that no one in my family and circle of friends was very much interested in spiritual topics (but at least most of them don´t fall for this scamdemic) . And to top it all off, I had an emotional roller coaster these last few months by falling in love with a married woman. So all these thoughts and feelings gradually accumulated in me, and right now, on this evening, I felt the need to come back here and just start.

And it was of great help to read through this thread and realise that a lot of people have or had the same, or at least similar issues as I do. I never was a boardlurker, I just didn´t come here except for looking for the newest transcripts of the C´s, which is propably even worse than lurking.

So my first aim for the rest of 2020 is to finally start working on overcoming these "fears" about contributing, and, more generally, working on healing my "disease called tomorrow", before there is no tomorrow.

Thanks
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I can relate to that because I suffer from the exact same disease. Thank you because now I can name it and work harder to overcome the “disease called tomorrow”
 
zoidbergh77 said:
It has been quite a few years since I first posted here (and as you can see, hardly ever since). I can relate to a lot of the posts in this thread, I felt completely overwhelmed by all the different threads and the size of those threads, I also didn´t really think that anything I could add would be of any substance, especially compared to what some of the people here were writing. I was afraid that my english wasn´t good enough to get things across.

But most crucially: I suffer from the "disease called tomorrow". I often find all kinds of reasons to put something off to the next day. And then the next. And so on. I always did so, and I still do.

Throughout all those years I still was/am a daily SOTT-reader, I still read a lot of books from your recommended reading lists (and in the last few months also from what was discussed in Mind Matters). I was still trying to incorporate certain things in my daily life, working on some of my issues concerning patience and also with trust in new people; and looking back, comparing myself now with myself some years ago, I think there is definitely some progress. But NOW, for the first time in all those years I can FEEL (or at least I believe I do) what the C´s meant when they said you will be blocked in your efforts if you´re not networking. Reading Azize and Alan Francis, I also was strongly reminded about something Gurdjieff said: I need to set myself a definite aim, which until now I never really did. And after reading Jordan Peterson I realised that maybe it´s ok if these aims are small at first, if it only makes me take the first steps.

Without my daily reading SOTT, and the people who comment there or on facebook, the last 10 months would have been much much harder, because there is a lot of great humor with you guys and it makes this whole crazy year a lot easier to get through. This year also showed me that the brown stuff is finally starting to really hit the fan, it´s not just theoretical anymore. At the same time, I had to realise that no one in my family and circle of friends was very much interested in spiritual topics (but at least most of them don´t fall for this scamdemic) . And to top it all off, I had an emotional roller coaster these last few months by falling in love with a married woman. So all these thoughts and feelings gradually accumulated in me, and right now, on this evening, I felt the need to come back here and just start.

And it was of great help to read through this thread and realise that a lot of people have or had the same, or at least similar issues as I do. I never was a boardlurker, I just didn´t come here except for looking for the newest transcripts of the C´s, which is propably even worse than lurking.

So my first aim for the rest of 2020 is to finally start working on overcoming these "fears" about contributing, and, more generally, working on healing my "disease called tomorrow", before there is no tomorrow.

Thanks
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I totally know how you feel. I am in the same boat as you Zoidbergh77, I have the same "disease called tomorow". I have always kept up on Sott and read through the articles and comments. I have perused this forum and "lurked" for a long time. At a certain point you start to feel like that guy that's always taking samples at the market or talking to the sales people and "kicking tires" but never actually "pulling the trigger" to make the purchase or commits to something. I feel I owe it to the community and myself to take the small step to posting and commenting.

It's very helpful to hear the comment that everyone has a perspective that could potentially help someone else, just by hearing it. We all have ideas, views, perspectives within us. Some are good and helpful, others are bad and misaligned. Airing them out can help us to sort these things out within ourselves. I am just as guilty of living within my own comfort-zone and speaking my thoughts internally in an echo-chamber. You either help someone else by opening up and sharing knowledge or you help yourself to avoid the pitfalls of the ego/sts negative path.

In addition to the idea of being a "board lurker", I feel that the self-work is the primary task at hand for most of us. It is daunting to say the least and most of the time I don't really know where to start or what to work on. After really self reflecting I do think that I have been on a pretty good path toward sto achievement. Obviously there are many aspects that are unavoidable as far as ways we must serve ourselves in this current realm. Plus I am sure that I have missed many/most of the deeper and important things that I should have been working on. But I think the hardest work requires other people's help. To be honest, I don't fully know what that work and help is and looks like. I hope by posting and starting to "put it out there" that people will surface and maybe we can bounce ideas off each other and maybe form groups that can talk openly about the inner work that we all need.

Sorry for the ramble, I hope this comes across as coherent :umm:
 


Yes it's no use saying that you don't know nothing It's still gonna get you if you don't do something Sitting on a fence that's a dangerous course Oh, you could even catch a bullet from the peace-keeping force Even the hero gets a bullet in the chest Oh yeah, once upon a time in the west

You could simply join to send out a signal to the universe that you are on the side of justice, truth and love and committed to balancing out the negativity on this planet.
 
memeontheroof said:
I can relate to that because I suffer from the exact same disease. Thank you because now I can name it and work harder to overcome the “disease called tomorrow”
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As you propably know, I didn´t come up with the term, Gurdjieff used it in Beelzebub´s Tales to his Grandson. I found it to be very fitting, because it sure isn´t healthy. :-)

Aldo said:
It's very helpful to hear the comment that everyone has a perspective that could potentially help someone else, just by hearing it. We all have ideas, views, perspectives within us. Some are good and helpful, others are bad and misaligned.
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That´s why the C´s put so much emphasis on networking, and on an intellectual level I knew that for a long time, but only in the last few months did I actually feel it on a deeper level. I still have to get used to the feeling of being overwhelmed by all the different topics/threads, but I figured if I don´t start at some point, nothing will go ever forward. The aim that I set for myself, besides starting participation in the forum was also taking up EE again (I hadn´t done it in about 4 or 5 years) and also to do more physical exercising. So far, I still fall behind in the forum participation, the other two things I have taken up again as planned and it feels very good.

It´s somewhat comforting to know that I am not the only person struggling with this, so thanks for your answers.
 
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