I can see you are suffering and I understand that you are suffering. You learn. The point, however, is that I do not put infinite hope in this quote. We know well the suffering caused by time, but the unknown is suffering that takes place outside of time.
Actually, I was preparing myself for Cherie to pass for about a year. I knew that she was beyond the usual age limit for her breed and I was very glad for that - it gave us extra time. But I am a realist, too, and I know that this is a 3D reality and the weight of matter always and inevitably leads to decay and death. It's the nature of the thing and we see it in everything around us.
Cherie did well with her hip surgery, but she was already middle aged and a little beyond. Then came other problems, one after another. She always bounced back. Just a week before her final collapse, she was trotting after a ball and looking quite well.
At this point, she had a large mass in her bladder that was almost inoperable. Her bladder would have had to be removed, but her kidneys were already failing. She was too weak to withstand radiation treatments or the surgery, for that matter. And I recall what my grandmother said when her cancer, which had been in remission for 6 years returned: she wanted no more chemo, no more surgery, no more radiation. She was ready to go. I can understand that. She had had enough. And I knew that Cherie had had enough.
Cherie was always a talker and singer. Lying there in her crate, unable to get up or do anything, when we talked to her, she lifted her head and tried to sing to us. It was her "I'm so happy you are here, I love you so much" song. And then, she was hyperventilating (even though she had had an injection of tramadol), and I knew that this was it.
We called the vet who said she could not come to the house but we could bring as many people as wanted to come. There was ten of us in three cars. Cherie was in her crate in the back of the van and we were all petting her and talking to her. The vet came out and said she would take care of Cherie in the parking lot so we didn't have to disturb her too much. I had my hand on her and talked her through as the doctor injected the drug. Yes, I broke down for awhile and it makes me cry to think about it now, but I know it was the best thing to do. She would not have lasted more than a couple of days longer and kidney failure is a miserable way to die.
I cared for my grandparents through their final years. I lost my father and, more recently, my mother. I have had many canine companions through the years, but few that I became overly attached to. I was attached to Cherie, but I know that dogs live limited lives compared to humans. My sadness at losing Cherie isn't comparable to my sorrow at losing my grandparents. Probably the worst suffering of my life was living through Ark's illness 2019 thru 2021.
So, no, I am not suffering. I am experiencing sadness at the loss of a beloved pet. But nothing is out of proportion. Here on this thread, I am simply sharing Cherie's life because it was truly one of love and beauty. She was one of the sweetest doggies I've ever known.
When I see a person experiencing a loss, I understand that person more than perfectly. Every day I experience a loss. This day will never happen again. Something has passed with no way to return. But I feel there is much more to this than we think today.
Each loss can be a new hope. I watch it closely.
I don't see each passing moment as a loss... I see it as another step in a journey to a destination. I doubt that the runner in a race sees each step as a loss - it's a step toward victory.
Yes, I am getting older and I certainly never thought I would (like so many!), but here I am: almost 70 years old. I started the Cs experiment when I was 40 years old. Thanks to Ark and to paying more attention to diet and health strategies, I feel better at 70 than I did at 40. And I will continue to optimize my existence as long as I can simply because I have work to do. But I no longer think of death and passing out of this world as the enemy. Cherie is still with me, I can feel her. So, no, I am not suffering, but I am sad to be parted from such a sweet girl. But her life was beautiful from start to finish. I am so thankful for being able to give her that.
We lost our beloved boy this year, and we sure do miss his presence 
