cryingwife.com
- Thread starter D69
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Guardian said:
Well geeze, that's a little harsh wouldn't you say? You're essentially saying that you wish this guy was dead. I don't have any intention of defending him, but I don't think it's at all fair to say he doesn't deserve to live. For all you know, it's someone who has been traumatized and brought up in a world where such an action is normal. If we judged everyone in that way, then who knows how many potentially souled individuals capable of re-integrating to a more beneficial disposition in the world would be equally snuffed.
H
Hildegarda
Guest
drygol said:
To answer your question, yes, it is possible. We actually do it all the time, get certain impressions of people and circumstances from a very short observation on a small amount of data. And often such observations are very accurate and therefore objective. There is a book about it that is very interesting, "Blink" by Malcolm Gladwell. Many other studies on the topic as well (see here, as an example: ///http://www.cleveland.com/nation/index.ssf/2009/12/study_finds_a_single_photo_can.html).
Gladwell says that for the quick judgment (what he calls "thin-slicing") to be accurate, one has to be a careful and practiced observer of the field in question. He gives an example of art dealers who can spot a fake a mile away, due to having been around objects of real value since childhood. We call it "a reading instrument" when talking about understanding the real-life situation, and say that one's reading instrument is "in tune" or "accurate" if he or she sees the situation correctly. In observing people's interactions, a quick judgment is motivated by an immediate response of empathy, which relies on putting yourself in other people's shoes and understanding what it feels like.
Of all people in this thread you are the only one who thought this web page funny. An additional consideration is that this forum is dedicated to observation and analysis of the world around, including people's psychopathic behavior. All this suggests that your reading instrument is off in this case, and that's something to ponder about. Instead of this, you intellectualize a response that is really an emotional one, until you twist it to turn everything into its opposite, suggesting that everyone is wrong and you are right. This is a defense mechanism of the predator.
What started as a joke is sort of turning into a mirror; there is nothing wrong with having brought up this video not in asking questions. But it is important to absorb the shock and use it to understand something about yourself, then this all will be very beneficial to you. E.g., you might want to think why you find this video funny, and also why you find it funny on a good day that you are having, and not on a bad day, like you indicated in you original post.
fwiw,
Al Today
The Living Force
Hildegarda said:
That's a little too definitive. With the first Star Wars segment, the way that hubby was smirking, i also smirked. I did relate and thought of having fun at the expense of another. I want to say I am not the same person I was then, but I did smirk and smiled at first...
drygol said:
Consider that your immediate response was to find it funny while the immediate response of others was to be disturbed. Now you have begun to nitpick about whether or not we can believe that it is for real or not. The only reason you found it funny was because it was presented as funny by the guy that owns the web site. He was presenting his wife's distress as funny. And you went along with him. In Iraq, there are soldiers who present "blowing away rag heads" as funny to other soldiers and to their friends back home. Many of these soldiers and friends go along with the "funny" side of it because it is presented to them as funny. Others do not. So are you're saying that you can't see the connection between these two things, that, while the Iraq example is an extreme one, it is fundamentally of the same nature as the crying wife?
Millions of men around the world today, who have never fired a gun, spend hours shooting bad guys in very realistic computer games. It is "fun" for them, and they don't see any connection in this activity to the idea that it might desensitize them to violence and committing violence against another human being. Strangely however, US military leaders think otherwise.
Guardian
The Cosmic Force
Perceval said:
The creator of the cryingwife site (Tony Stech) plays an assassin (Ninja) in an on-line game, according to his websites.
In his video titled "My Wife Laughing" {hardlywisdom DOT com} he opens by explaining how he modified a nerf gun and that it now "hurts when you shoot people." Then, after telling his wife (Hollie) "I'm not going to shoot you" he chases her around the house shooting her repeatedly at close range while she begs him to stop.
This is not a coincidence.
H
Hildegarda
Guest
Al Today said:
perhaps you are right. I think Guardian nailed it:
There isn't much choice involved in smiling when someone else does it. It's like a yawn that is contagious, a sort of an automatic reaction. BUt to say, "oh, that's funny", and leave with that as your final impression, that's a choice. OSIT.
G
Gertrudes
Guest
Hi Drygol, others have already addressed this issue ver well, I will just add a few thoughts,
I think that some things speak for themselves. As others have pointed out, the videos portray a young woman crying in an abnormal manner after seeing movies. It is the abnormality of that crying, I think, that causes the laughter in her husband. However, and in the light of the work done in this forum, it comes down to trying to see and understand a situation for what it really is which often, and in this case, is the result of a process of de-sensitization. Or at least it is how I see it.
There are a few factors to consider:
1: There is a woman crying
2: She cries immensely after watching movies, over the fictional life of others. There is something very disturbing here that should get one to stop and just think: what on earth is going on here?
3: Her husband finds it funny. He also puts it on the net.
Just these 3 factors together, give a disturbing picture of the situation. The issue is, the gradual process of ponerization we go through in this 3d world, very sneakily leads us into seeing these things as normal. The fact that her husband has used her crying the way he has, rather then asking himself what is really going on with his wife, proofs such fact. It isn't normal to cry the way she is for those movies! And it isn't normal to laugh about it.
Perhaps, and even very likely so. Still, it proofs how sad the situation is. It shows us two beings who seem to lack a deep understanding of their own emotional world, and the consequences of that. Like children playing with fire.
Drygol, I spent years suppressing and even laughing (yes, laughing) at my own emotions. I thought that was normal. It isn't, I have and still am paying a very bitter price for that now. Emotional expressions such as the ones of this young lady have a very real cause. They are being manifested for a reason, and it is that reason that has and is being neglected by her husband, and likely her family as well. The result is a distorted interpretation that shows lack of understanding and tact from her husband.
As I see it, part of the work in this forum concerns trying to look objectively, or as objectively as possible, into a situation, and try to understand what is the true meaning of what we are seeing.
Edit: clarity and grammar
drygol said:
I think that some things speak for themselves. As others have pointed out, the videos portray a young woman crying in an abnormal manner after seeing movies. It is the abnormality of that crying, I think, that causes the laughter in her husband. However, and in the light of the work done in this forum, it comes down to trying to see and understand a situation for what it really is which often, and in this case, is the result of a process of de-sensitization. Or at least it is how I see it.
There are a few factors to consider:
1: There is a woman crying
2: She cries immensely after watching movies, over the fictional life of others. There is something very disturbing here that should get one to stop and just think: what on earth is going on here?
3: Her husband finds it funny. He also puts it on the net.
Just these 3 factors together, give a disturbing picture of the situation. The issue is, the gradual process of ponerization we go through in this 3d world, very sneakily leads us into seeing these things as normal. The fact that her husband has used her crying the way he has, rather then asking himself what is really going on with his wife, proofs such fact. It isn't normal to cry the way she is for those movies! And it isn't normal to laugh about it.
drygol said:
Perhaps, and even very likely so. Still, it proofs how sad the situation is. It shows us two beings who seem to lack a deep understanding of their own emotional world, and the consequences of that. Like children playing with fire.
Drygol, I spent years suppressing and even laughing (yes, laughing) at my own emotions. I thought that was normal. It isn't, I have and still am paying a very bitter price for that now. Emotional expressions such as the ones of this young lady have a very real cause. They are being manifested for a reason, and it is that reason that has and is being neglected by her husband, and likely her family as well. The result is a distorted interpretation that shows lack of understanding and tact from her husband.
drygol said:
As I see it, part of the work in this forum concerns trying to look objectively, or as objectively as possible, into a situation, and try to understand what is the true meaning of what we are seeing.
Edit: clarity and grammar
knowledge_of_self
The Living Force
Hildegarda said:
Hildegarda brought a very good point up about "blinking"
But let's look at it also like this. It takes time and energy to set up and maintain a web-site. And of all the things this person could have gone and done with his time and energy, he went and built a web-site to show his "crying wife" to the world. This shows that he's not a very deep individual and that he likes to laugh at the expense of his wife's emotional issues.
Let's also look at it like this. What has this web-site done for them in their life? Now, I'm just going on assumption here- but I think that if their friends and family saw this- aside from thinking it's funny- they would probably think the wife is weird or "crazy" as it has been one of the main focus's on the FAQ's on the web site. "Is your wife crazy?"
Well to them, she looks crazy because she can't handle her emotions, but not him for laughing at her emotional issues. So he ends up looking like the funny, cool husband to everyone- while she looks like the 'crazy and over emotional wife'. And I’m going to go on another assumption and say, perhaps this is a “mask” he’s created to cover his own insanity?
D69
Dagobah Resident
Exactly , totally agree on that , that's what i am trying to say.
because this is internet , you have to be very carefull what you are looking at , and that I know from my experience(maybe my i am wrong , tell me if i am doing mistake)
I totally second that , in fact , this is what i wanted to say , but i am too poor with my English with passing my emotions.
To answer your question, yes, it is possible. We actually do it all the time, get certain impressions of people and circumstances from a very short observation on a small amount of data. And often such observations are very accurate and therefore objective. There is a book about it that is very interesting, "Blink" by Malcolm Gladwell. Many other studies on the topic as well (see here, as an example: ///http://www.cleveland.com/nation/index.ssf/2009/12/study_finds_a_single_photo_can.html).
To be honest , this is a kind of reply that i cannot argue with regardles all my built in defenses (that i am working on - to disable them )
This reply , was the one that really showed me my stupidity , and was really objective and i really thank you for that Hildegarda
This particular sentence really hit me , and it is totally true , i am a person who is trying to transform from a stupid point of view (now i know it) to a better one
now , that is perfectly fine , now i totally agree with you , and again thats why i wrote that i will rethink my issue again (lesson learned).
I also have to thank for this post , this one also showed my lack of perception and was pure help. Thank you for that Gertrudes.
Well , I will tell you one thing , for a person who is skilled in web stuff (internet or computer) this kind of a website might look as a thing that is hard to build , but in fact there are engines that do it for you , or even if you do not want to use engines , for a skilled person it is a mater of minutes to build website like this.
It really does not involve to much work(notice that in one of movies he writes "I know it is not out yet but we know proper people" - or smth like that )
BOTTOM LINE
I must say , that I learned a lot from this thread and i really appropriate that you guys answered me.
I just wanted to say that i am trying to not be bad one but trying is not always effective :/
Argonaut
Jedi Master
These videos remind me of two friends of mine who are married - I'll call them "John" and "Kim." Like this Tony guy, John considers himself a "jokester." He has done things similar to Tony, including shooting Kim with a pellet gun and teasing her for crying at movies. Up until now I didn't think much of it, because Kim herself didn't seem to think anything of it. She takes her movie crying pretty lightly, and often laughs at it herself. And the pellet gun thing is part of how they interact. She will do similar things to him, and they both act like it's all fun and humorous. They seem to mutually enjoy it.
Many people I know are "jokesters" in this way - their method of humor revolves around teasing and "harassing" their friends. The typical dynamic is a "one upping" thing, where one peson will do something - for instance, snapping the other with a wet towel - and then the other will "get back" at them by doing something worse. And both are laughing it up the whole time. I've been the target of it myself, and at times have even done it. I'm surrounded by the type of dynamic in those videos. So I don't think I'm able to view the videos objectively.
After reading this thread, it's clear to me that something deeper is going on with all of this. But I still have trouble viewing Tony as evil or malicious. Based on John, Kim, and similar friends, plus my own experiences with them, I got the impression that Tony and his wife are just ignorant of the fact that the crying signifies something important. From the consensus in this thread, I'd say my impression is dead wrong. But I'm having trouble seeing past it. I'm struggling with an impression that others here are being subjective and rushing to judgment, all programs and negative emotions. How can I be seeing things so backwards, and be unable to escape these wrong impressions? How can it feel so strongly like I'm right and "everyone else" is in the wrong? I almost feel like a buffer is involved here, because I'm simultaneously in agreement with the consensus AND feeling like the consensus is mistaken. It's as if my own programmed perspective and life experiences are butting up against the knowledge I'm gaining from the Work. And I'm not sure what to do with the contradiction.
I feel I should add that John and Kim are far from being a happy couple. They fight a lot. Kim has a nasty temper and likes to scream at John and belittle him. John usually has a more covert aggressive approach (pouting, guilt manipulation, etc), but when he gets angry enough he says some very cutting, cruel things to her. They are also both highly judgmental of others. The same basic scenario goes for most of the other people I know who are into the whole teasing/harassment dynamic. None of them are even close to happy. It's pretty clear that the teasing/harassment thing is a feeding dynamic. It gives them a sort of emotional high, because in general they're pretty miserable and unhappy people. I feel sick that I've taken part in this dynamic with them. But up until now it's just seemed normal. I've never made the connection between their sense of humor and their overall unhappiness. I definitely need to do some thinking about the people I associate with.
Many people I know are "jokesters" in this way - their method of humor revolves around teasing and "harassing" their friends. The typical dynamic is a "one upping" thing, where one peson will do something - for instance, snapping the other with a wet towel - and then the other will "get back" at them by doing something worse. And both are laughing it up the whole time. I've been the target of it myself, and at times have even done it. I'm surrounded by the type of dynamic in those videos. So I don't think I'm able to view the videos objectively.
After reading this thread, it's clear to me that something deeper is going on with all of this. But I still have trouble viewing Tony as evil or malicious. Based on John, Kim, and similar friends, plus my own experiences with them, I got the impression that Tony and his wife are just ignorant of the fact that the crying signifies something important. From the consensus in this thread, I'd say my impression is dead wrong. But I'm having trouble seeing past it. I'm struggling with an impression that others here are being subjective and rushing to judgment, all programs and negative emotions. How can I be seeing things so backwards, and be unable to escape these wrong impressions? How can it feel so strongly like I'm right and "everyone else" is in the wrong? I almost feel like a buffer is involved here, because I'm simultaneously in agreement with the consensus AND feeling like the consensus is mistaken. It's as if my own programmed perspective and life experiences are butting up against the knowledge I'm gaining from the Work. And I'm not sure what to do with the contradiction.
I feel I should add that John and Kim are far from being a happy couple. They fight a lot. Kim has a nasty temper and likes to scream at John and belittle him. John usually has a more covert aggressive approach (pouting, guilt manipulation, etc), but when he gets angry enough he says some very cutting, cruel things to her. They are also both highly judgmental of others. The same basic scenario goes for most of the other people I know who are into the whole teasing/harassment dynamic. None of them are even close to happy. It's pretty clear that the teasing/harassment thing is a feeding dynamic. It gives them a sort of emotional high, because in general they're pretty miserable and unhappy people. I feel sick that I've taken part in this dynamic with them. But up until now it's just seemed normal. I've never made the connection between their sense of humor and their overall unhappiness. I definitely need to do some thinking about the people I associate with.
