Delores Delaney's story

Music, just a few
You're the Voice - John Farnham

Movements - Roots Manuva

Gimme Shelter - Rolling Stones

Sinead O Conner - Nothing Compares to you

Annie Lennox - Free Bird

Alison Moyet - All cried out


Will add more when I think of them
If anyone would like to their favourite music, be lovely, also if you would like to share your thoughts and ideas/experiences /stories too. Thanks ☺️
 

jhonny

Dagobah Resident
FOTCM Member
If anyone would like to their favourite music, be lovely, also if you would like to share your thoughts and ideas/experiences /stories too. Thanks ☺
Delores, I may be wrong, but It seems to me from what I have been reading in your posts (I haven't read all of them) that you are trying to focus the forum's attention on juist this (your) thread by inviting other members to share here their stories, musical preference, ideas and others. I'm not saying this is a bad thing, but personal threads should be seen as means to receive feedback, osit.

Also, there are so many threads with many stories where you can give and receive feedback from, and not just personal issues, but other threads on science, history, etc. So, instead of inviting people here, I recommend you to go to other threads you may find interesting.
 

Color

Jedi Council Member
haha I'm so rubbish at this stuff 😅😅sorry didn't finish. Thanks for taking the time to respond. Meant to say, the sons of Adam are the souled beings or 'us', in opposition to the organic portals who come from a kind of 'soul pool' as far as I understand it. And I found a pseudo diary and managed to go for a short walk ha, bless. Am in the process of writing some longer, better replies 🌞🌀🌀🌺🌀🌺🌹

Hi again, sorry it took so long to reply. So many things happening, I keep on opening threads on this forum I want to reply to and then it all gets lost among the craziness I have to deal with in everyday interactions with the world around me. But I took time, among this craziness, to read all of your posts, and replies, in this thread. And I have few things to share with you, as response.

First and mostly, I see and understand your need for connecting directly to the Source. To the God, to the Angels (second best), to have your calls answered immediately and more or less directly and not have to depend on any people's resource for the guidance. You've been hurt and betrayed during growing up and then you lived your life hurting and betraying others. And, most importantly- yourself. I get it. I did the same. All the people here on the forum did it. They all went through it. We all still go through it, on different levels, every single day. There are no exceptions, believe me, on this path of learning through the experience of being human on planet Earth at this time. Not even Laura, or admins of this forum or elder members. Nobody is 'Holly' and 'allknowing'. And all of them acknowledged that fact through their own words, when responding to your posts, but you seem to kind of fly over that fact and decide it's too negative to address and answer the main 'problem' directly. Again, I KNOW WHERE YOU COME FROM, but then again, that's all that there is- you trying to escape the part of your reflection in the mirror which you find not being up to the standards that you put on yourself and not good enough to deal with.

It is not about this forum that doesn't understand you, it's just people, ordinary goodhearted people who took time to read through your mess of posts and then took time to comment, with nothing to gain for themselves, instead they all used up their own time and focus and put it into an effort to say how your messages made them feel and how they perceive you, from what you presented so far. To give their best to ask further to clear up the mess you posted, in order not to misunderstand you, to give you the chance to stop writing endless 'love and light' narratives and bring it back to Earth, bring it back home, to answer as a person, as a vulnerable human being, to answer it PERSONALLY. To be as real as it gets. Cause that's what this life is all about.

And you missed that chance. And keep on missing it. You preach, you talk about your own personal experiences as if it happened to someone else, as if it's a liturgy delivered from some ignorant priest doing his prison time at the Sunday mass, just to be over with it. And you want to be taken in honesty. You seem to expect for all to appreciate your 'pouring of the heart for all to see'. And then go even further, calling out others to 'do the same'. Well... I see little heart in it. I see rivers of words and litany of preaching to the coir without even one sincere stop to recognize what is it all that you've been saying and what your expectations of replies are in the Truth.

If you posted here just to get followers on your path, whatever that path is (still not clear, not the least, in any practical simple sense, after god knows how many 'explanations' you've posted so far), then I think it's time to pack your bags and leave with what you've gathered. And I mean nothing bad or cruel by saying this, it's about you wasting your own time.

If there was any truth in what you've said about how much you had benefit from Laura's work and this forum then it's time to stop acting like a child and take in some responsibilities. Not for the better of this forum members but for your own. Just STOP and LISTEN what you've been told. Don't hide behind writing not being your strength while you're perfectly able to reproduce tones of words without any depth or significance. Who's words are you writing then?!? Think about it, please, i'm begging you, do that for yourself, not for me or for anyone else, just stop for the second and think about it. What are you writing? Who is writing?!?

I guess you think of me in anything but nice terms right now, how I misunderstood you and how you can't be angry at me for my ignorance cause I simply don't get the STO message you are trying to propagate here. And you are right. On some levels. I DO NOT care for what you've written so far. Cause there is not a single atom of YOU in it. Just some heavenly commercial about how life should be.

I'm still waiting for YOU.
 
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Hi again, sorry it took so long to reply. So many things happening, I keep on opening threads on this forum I want to reply to and then it all gets lost among the craziness I have to deal with in everyday interactions with the world around me. But I took time, among this craziness, to read all of your posts, and replies, in this thread. And I have few things to share with you, as response.

First and mostly, I see and understand your need for connecting directly to the Source. To the God, to the Angels (second best), to have your calls answered immediately and more or less directly and not have to depend on any people's resource for the guidance. You've been hurt and betrayed during growing up and then you lived your life hurting and betraying others. And, most importantly- yourself. I get it. I did the same. All the people here on the forum did it. They all went through it. We all still go through it, on different levels, every single day. There are no exceptions, believe me, on this path of learning through the experience of being human on planet Earth at this time. Not even Laura, or admins of this forum or elder members. Nobody is 'Holly' and 'allknowing'. And all of them acknowledged that fact through their own words, when responding to your posts, but you seem to kind of fly over that fact and decide it's too negative to address and answer the main 'problem' directly. Again, I KNOW WHERE YOU COME FROM, but then again, that's all that there is- you trying to escape the part of your reflection in the mirror which you find not being up to the standards that you put on yourself and not good enough to deal with.

It is not about this forum that doesn't understand you, it's just people, ordinary goodhearted people who took time to read through your mess of posts and then took time to comment, with nothing to gain for themselves, instead they all used up their own time and focus and put it into an effort to say how your messages made them feel and how they perceive you, from what you presented so far. To give their best to ask further to clear up the mess you posted, in order not to misunderstand you, to give you the chance to stop writing endless 'love and light' narratives and bring it back to Earth, bring it back home, to answer as a person, as a vulnerable human being, to answer it PERSONALLY. To be as real as it gets. Cause that's what this life is all about.

And you missed that chance. And keep on missing it. You preach, you talk about your own personal experiences as if it happened to someone else, as if it's a liturgy delivered from some ignorant priest doing his prison time at the Sunday mass, just to be over with it. And you want to be taken in honesty. You seem to expect for all to appreciate your 'pouring of the heart for all to see'. And then go even further, calling out others to 'do the same'. Well... I see little heart in it. I see rivers of words and litany of preaching to the coir without even one sincere stop to recognize what is it all that you've been saying and what your expectations of replies are in the Truth.

If you posted here just to get followers on your path, whatever that path is (still not clear, not the least, in any practical simple sense, after god knows how many 'explanations' you've posted so far), then I think it's time to pack your bags and leave with what you've gathered. And I mean nothing bad or cruel by saying this, it's about you wasting your own time.

If there was any truth in what you've said about how much you had benefit from Laura's work and this forum then it's time to stop acting like a child and take in some responsibilities. Not for the better of this forum members but for your own. Just STOP and LISTEN what you've been told. Don't hide behind writing not being your strength while you're perfectly able to reproduce tones of words without any depth or significance. Who's words are you writing then?!? Think about it, please, i'm begging you, do that for yourself, not for me or for anyone else, just stop for the second and think about it. What are you writing? Who is writing?!?

I guess you think of me in anything but nice terms right now, how I misunderstood you and how you can't be angry at me for my ignorance cause I simply don't get the STO message you are trying to propagate here. And you are right. On some levels. I DO NOT care for what you've written so far. Cause there is not a single atom of YOU in it. Just some heavenly commercial about how life should be.

I'm still waiting for YOU.
Think well before you speak, lest your words hurt you.
 

Beau

Administrator
Administrator
Moderator
FOTCM Member
Think well before you speak, lest your words hurt you.

Although that reply is rather annoyingly cryptic, it's also just as empty as much of your previous posts. Color took the time to write a post that probably was rather difficult to write, in an attempt to help you SEE yourself. Which is the purpose of this forum that you joined and agreed to the forum guidelines. Your response to that good-hearted attempt at help was a perfunctory reply that completely glossed over her well-made points and stuck the finger back at her.

DD, I think you're in the wrong bar. Maybe you'd be better off on some New Age forum where everyone tells each other how wonderful they are and that we are all made of lollipops and rainbows. That would seem to better suit you.
 
I've read through this thread, and I won't add to what people here have told you, other than that all the answers you need are here. If you can just put aside your own ego and see that everyone on this thread cares for the person behind the fluff you are sharing here and devour their lessons, you may be able to let go of that "love and light" persona that seems to have consumed your being and actually BE a source of your OWN light, without the need to be "led" - or to be a "leader".

I just read your curt response to Color, which makes me wonder if you are so completely lost in your own world that anyone not bowing down to your version of reality is "not worthy" of your attention. That response alone makes me wonder what program truly runs you, or if the true YOU even has any control over your own responses any more.

I hope what I just wrote doesn't piss you off even more. But I'm spending time here, as the others have, because we see something magnificent within you worth bringing out into its own light. I'm pretty much new here myself, but one thing I have learned in my short time: these people CARE.

Anyway. I have something to share that you may identify with. But first I want to share again this portion of a session from the C's that Saman posted earlier in this thread:
___________________________________________________________________________________________________
"Q: (L) Is it possible for other density STS beings to appear as and project themselves as angels and to be misnamed or mistaken for angels?

A: Certainly.

Q: (L) Is this happening to a certain extent?

A: Very likely. Deception is part of any and all processes directed toward the manipulation of others for purposes of self gain. And, as we have warned, those of the 4th density service to self nature are interested solely in their own advancement, gain or condition, and will facilitate any and all processes which will further this cause including deception of the nature described."
______________________________________________________________________________________________________


And I will share with you, right here and now, that such happened to me. And it was insidious, because *I* was used as an agent of manipulation due to my own inability to see myself truly and what it was that I was doing. STS beings absolutely will pose as angels, and help people in many ways that have certain profiles, especially if in doing so they can set themselves up to enjoy many more tasty "meals" in the future.

I have shared on these forums that I am psychic and have been trained as one since I was in my twenties. I was led to read a lot of metaphysical texts early in my life in order to understand many things going on that had no answers in the material world I knew. But one mistake I made, very early, was reading Terry Lynn Taylor's books on angels and taking them as gospel.

I LOVED her books! I bought anything angel-related that I saw for many years, including a game I still have today: "The Transformation Game". That game had the very first printed "angel cards" in it, which became a sensation. I often prayed to the angels to help me, and they often did. Maybe some of those instances were real, but I now know that some were not.

I went to graduate school in Houston, Texas in the late '90's. At that point I was in my mid-30's and had never had a real girlfriend. But I had finally for the first time come to realize that some women actually thought I was decent looking, and I thought that I deserved to have a girlfriend...even though the reason I had never had one before was because I didn't like myself, and I never tried to date because I knew that deep down I'd never have love until I loved myself first. But I threw all that out the window anyway, deciding then and there that as long as I found someone who would love me, it wouldn't matter.

So I followed one of the protocols in one of Taylor's books about praying to the angels to meet my "significant other", and it worked! I got explicit messages about taking care of my physical self, making myself look as good as possible, and then one very specific message in a dream that I should read a certain book at the bus stop on my way home. That book? "Thus Spake Zarathustra" by Friedrich Nietzsche.

So I did so, and the very first day, a cute woman sitting next to me saw that title and happily exclaimed that she was totally into philosophy, and we started talking but were about to go on separate buses when a guy behind us literally showed up out of nowhere and said so we could hear: "hey, she's really cute isn't she!" - and she turned beet red...but we got on the same bus, I got her phone number, and she became my first true girlfriend...

...and also my first true "victim". As I didn't really love myself it eventually ended in miserable failure, and she took it on and blamed herself, and she questioned her own value. We stayed sorta-friends until I left, but she wasn't the same vibrant person she had been.

I repeated that scenario several times after that, but it escalated when, in 2005, I attended one of Doreen Virtue's "angel therapy workshops" in Sacramento. She even called me up on stage! And then I went to one of her "Angel Therapy Training" weekly seminars, paying thousands of dollars to do so, just to get this piece of paper that said I was "qualified" to give psychic readings:
Angel Therapy.jpg

I don't know if you are familiar with Doreen Virtue, but she was one of the first to write about "angel numbers", and her book is in the upper right hand corner in the picture above.

Now, anyone who went to any of Doreen's events can tell you that there were a very large number of young, beautiful women there - and the female to male ratio was at least ten to one. I certainly paid attention, and took advantage. And the "angel numbers" told me I should!

From that time until 2010, I dated a number of very beautiful young women who were all full of love and light, sincerely believing that I would find "the one!" and live happily ever after. And the "angel numbers" were always in favor of that message! But each and every time, the relationships ended in miserable failure and agony - because we were mirrors for each other, looking for love outside of ourselves.

I will also say this: as a psychic, often during that time I would "see", when my eyes were closed, a number of "angel lights" and I would feel an actual lifting of my feelings in my heart, as if the angels were there to console me after every single failure. They were there; I could see them; and I could FEEL them "lift" me emotionally...but it was only temporary, as the underlying issues that CAUSED my ill feelings I was hiding were not dealt with. A BIG failure of the "love and light" crowd, in fact, is always sending such at their problems instead of actually, you know, DEALING WITH what caused them in the first place!

And my dating excursions weren't limited to America; I did damage on at least three continents! I went to Russia in search of love; and Germany; and had an Australian woman fly to ME. And I hurt them all. But: the angels told me, through numbers and readings, that we were PERFECT for each other!! - Until we weren't.

Here's a picture of me in Russia, summer 2006:

Me Russia.jpg

...and here is a picture I took in Russia in early 2006 after a bunch of gypsies were about to mug me, then instead they melted away:

St. Pete Angel.jpg

To this day, I am grateful that the "angels" interceded on my behalf; but: did they do so to save me then, simply because they would get further "use" out of me later on? I am still not sure.

My "reign of terror" finally ended in 2010 when the woman I met from Australia told me directly and truthfully exactly what I had needed to hear for at least a dozen years previously: that she wouldn't touch me with a ten-foot pole until I could actually learn to love myself and not rely on others for that love. And I haven't dated since.

So yes, angels CAN lead you astray if you are not careful, and if you are not able to face your own demons straight on in the mirror every single moment of every single day and realize where you are weak and leaning on "outside forces" to help take care of you when that is and always HAS been an "internal job" that YOU are responsible for, not others.

BTW: this "Ahura Mazda" guy you speak of, and this world he wants you to imagine into being? Now I don't mean to be judgmental and all, but: is HE planning to be the "benevolent master" of that new world you are creating? Because if so, you might want to inquire just what it is that he prefers to eat for "lunch"...

EDIT: I forgot to add this: this is what happened to Doreen Virtue - she lost her marbles:

 
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Saman

The Living Force
FOTCM Member
Sharing experience is mutually beneficial I think.. We can all benefit from sharing our stories, to hear about people's life experiences /thoughts, wisdom, songs.. Its great to learn from each other and help each other, hoping to share some good songs too, would love others to do the same if they like, or maybe lists of their favourite music etc would be great 🙂

Yes, but the point was that members should NOT take the attitude, as you appear to have done, that the sharing of their story is going to primarily help others. It's an important difference that you don't seem to have understood.

Hi Delores. I just wanted to mention that I think what Joe is explaining to you is very important about networking, which I think is something you seeking to learn and understand better. The C's have explained that "networking is 4th-density STO concept seeping into 3rd density with upcoming realm-border crossing." So if you really "resonate" emotionally with this notion, then I think you should strive not to become so self-absorbed in your own 3D experiences to the point that it will restrict the flow of the process of networking for you with others. Try to stop and not allow your emotional impulses and thinking to fool you into forgetting what Laura mentioned in Chapter 18 of the Wave series that "we are all part of a body:

A: Always "Network". Networking is 4th Density STO concept seeping into 3rd density with upcoming realm-border crossing.

Q: (DM) Networking is the way to get things done from third level into fourth level?

A: Coming from 4th level into 3rd because of influence of wave.

Q: (DM) So, each of us has a skill that we develop and help each other. (L) We are all part of a body.

A: This is the way lives in STO!

So don't forget that we are part of the All, the fragmented pieces of the One, and none of us alone have all the answers or pieces of the puzzle solely within us at this 3D level. So navigating our emotions with reason really helps to tremendously improve our 3D receivership capability in achieving a state of "soberness" that don Juan mentions in Carlos Castaneda's books, understanding that is not unbalanced due to emotionality leading the way, but reason instead. What about emotions you say? Well I think emotions should be utilized for motivation to seek the probable objective truth as best as you can if you Love to know "God", but you can't know "God" if you are not networking to understand the other fragmented pieces of it here in 3D if you become too self-absorbed with your own "fragment", so to speak. This is what I think the Work is all about. To be open to others thoughts, but critical at the same time because anyone can be a portal for 4D STS influences. You cannot change other "fragments" lessons, but you can change how you react to their thoughts, and I don't think in your deep-down essence, you meant to write this below:

Think well before you speak, lest your words hurt you.

This may sound wise, and I think it IS true in some other contexts, primarily when you are yourself practicing external consideration and striving to write down a balanced response to another individual, to try to meet them at their level, but in this case, I think it is really about how you are projecting your hurt feelings to what Color wrote. Whether he/she is wrong or right, in absolute terms of what was said, I think this isn't really the crux of matter in this case. He/she put in the energy to give you a mirror of what they perceived in your posts, and for that, even if you think they are wrong because they wrote somethings in absolute terms, isn't the point. The point is how you react to their thoughts I think. So do you go deeper into self-absorption and self-justifications, or do you ponder what they are seeing striving to describle that you may not see in yourself, even if they have not been 100% correct in their assessment, which I think not something anyone can do at this 3D level, or so I think. FWIW, just some thoughts to ponder about.
 

lainey

The Living Force
FOTCM Member
Think well before you speak, lest your words hurt you.
Delores, I think Color has expressed frustrations that I think many of us are feeling when we are reading your posts. We are doing our best here to help you see something that will help you. I don't know if this is what you meant by your post, but it seems like you want karma to come and "get" color for being "mean" to you? Talk about the polar opposite of what you have been preaching these last few pages.

Honestly, I have to psyche myself up to read this thread, when I first started reading it, it was 2 pages long already and I did it in stages because it gave me a headache. The advice people are giving you just seems to bounce off you with a "bless you, thank you for your time." I don't know how much more blunt people have to be with you, it seems like you aren't willing to entertain the idea that maybe what you are experiencing isn't the divine connection you think it is.

If it was from an STO source then I'd rather use some critical thinking to test it than get led up the garden path for lunch. If that's not what you are here to do then what are you here for?
 
There is nothing that would bring me more peace than for Color to be at peace with themself and in harmony /happiness.
I would love the same for all of you. I would love for you all to find the best way in everything you do. Good thoughts, good words, good actions.
I hope every thought you have I feeds your soul, not drains it.
What I said was TRUTH. These kinds of words, when spoken in this way only hurt the speaker, not me.

'Think well before you speak, lest your words hurt YOU'. !

I do not want you to hurt yourself in this way, it is a crazy expenditure of energy that can be used for your own benefit. If this work doesn't please you, do something that does. It is you choice to respond, it's your free will.

Perhaps be disinterested? I don't know whatever works for you, feed your mind and heart with things that make you happy.
With you own hobbies, interests, aspirations, goals, good lives/hearts, good friends, and for things that bring you joy and fulfillment and good health!
Color I genuinely wish you the best, I hope Karma is going to give you a good future, a happy life and a bright heart. Your post and all the other responses will be remembered as a good lesson, I understand these are done with good intentions, and a duty to help and serve others, and me. And for this I thank you. Always I hope for you the best. With gratitude I say this to you in all honesty!

However I do get the message, loud and clear!
So in respect to you all, I will leave this page /forum and this work. .

Will always keep it open but now it's the right thing to do to say goodbye my to you all.. Thank you again..
And take care, Color, and all. ❤️
 
Lol sorry, spelling errors as always.. meant to say, 'I hope every thought you have feeds your soul, not drains it!' (without the 'I' ) thanks.
 

liam1310

Jedi Council Member
FOTCM Member
However I do get the message, loud and clear!
So in respect to you all, I will leave this page /forum and this work. .

Hi Delores, its your choice to do as you wish. All I see is people on here wanting to help. As the saying goes you can take a horse to water but can't make them drink it. I dont think the other members could be any clearer or straight forward in what they have said. Your been shown something, unfortunately you fail or refuse to to see, that too is by choice. Personally, I dont think you will meet a more sincere bunch of people any where else on any other forum. I wounder are you here to learn or just spout your jargon?? Whatever you decide, I sincerely wish you all the best and thanks for starting this thread it's been very interesting.
 

Tauriel

Jedi Master
However I do get the message, loud and clear!
So in respect to you all, I will leave this page /forum and this work. .
If that is your choice I wish you well on your path.
You've received a bounty of wonderful replies and advice, real energy investments full of wisdom. It seems you don't really want to look at them in an open and honest way.
I refrained from commenting so far but read the whole thread whereas your posts where hard for me to get through. Other member have already covered what could be said about the spiritual aspects and the dangers involved.
I would only like to add my impression which I hope won't hurt you.
This could be wrong but to me you show signs of being in a manic or submanic state.
You described how you felt really bad for many years- exhausted, depressed, angry. In my clinical psychiatric work I could already observe some people who suffered from depression, a lack of self-esteem and lots of hardships for many years just to suddenly shift this state to the other side of the pendulum swing as if to give themselves relief from the suffering. The results are devastating for them. Their own psyche made room for more and more negative influences. Something to be aware of, imo.
Take good care and thank you for your mum's music- it talks to the soul.
 

nature

Dagobah Resident
FOTCM Member
Delores, I think Color has expressed frustrations that I think many of us are feeling when we are reading your posts. We are doing our best here to help you see something that will help you. I don't know if this is what you meant by your post, but it seems like you want karma to come and "get" color for being "mean" to you? Talk about the polar opposite of what you have been preaching these last few pages.

Honestly, I have to psyche myself up to read this thread, when I first started reading it, it was 2 pages long already and I did it in stages because it gave me a headache. The advice people are giving you just seems to bounce off you with a "bless you, thank you for your time." I don't know how much more blunt people have to be with you, it seems like you aren't willing to entertain the idea that maybe what you are experiencing isn't the divine connection you think it is.

If it was from an STO source then I'd rather use some critical thinking to test it than get led up the garden path for lunch. If that's not what you are here to do then what are you here for?
Ditto. I read 2 or 3 of her posts and stopped because I didn't understand what she says, she doesn't reply clearly to questions, eludes them and responses with chit-chat. So, it was boring and I gave up reading her.
So, bravo to those of you who read her and tried to help her!

There's nothing constructive in dicussions with her, she seems to be here only to feel good about herself, remain in nice illusions.
Sorry DD, but I hope this will open your eyes. You seem too much euphoric, like being in a trip. Also a bit new-agey, "baba cool".
You don't seem to have your feet on the ground.
I hope your eyes will open at one point. Good luck!
 
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