Éiriú-Eolas - Breathing Program

[1984]

I finally did the whole program for only the second time. I felt no anxiety about it as in the past. I noticed that my belly movement was backward (belly going in on in breath and out on out breath ) and had to struggle through 3/4 of the exercise in order to do it right. I began to have something like a seizure but connected to a past memory. I have been thinking lately that I do not have to consciously remember past trauma to release it and have come to firmly believe this. I had to stop for a moment and then spontaneously shouted NO. In a few seconds, I continued on as if nothing had happened but realized that my belly movement was normal now without trying. I did not have any other experiences except that people came to my mind throughout the exercise, some I had not thought about for years, some who have passed on and some I am not sure who they are but felt recognition of some sort. I felt at peace. Even when I was struggling, I felt calm and peaceful.

This is great to hear, opossum! Isn't it funny how quickly one learns to breathe correctly. :) Thanks for sharing your experiences.

 

[pete02]

I'm not quite sure how I fell into the slump I was in but it was horrible and I hope that feeling never returns. It just seemed like a constant struggle to get started and there was never anything new to write about. My reading was even suffering. I must have six books that I'm half way through and just don't seem to comprehend whats going on anymore. It was like hitting a wall and not being able to find a way around it. But after my session this morning I have this renewed feeling and I think I'll be picking back up ISOTM and see what happens.

Perhaps something happened in your life? Maybe you gave something of yourself to someone in your life and this helped removing the blockage? Only an idea FWIW.

The only thing that comes to mind is that I was having a bad attitude every time I came to the city for work. Just the atmosphere and pollution and some people I was dealing with just made me dread the trip in. Yesterday however I started to realize that it was very possible I was doing this to myself. You see I do both of my EE sessions in the city and the fact that I was picking a bad attitude about being here could possibly be affecting my motivation or at least I thought this was possible. Once in a while I'll do a late night EE session on Mondays in the country and I never seem to have any trouble there so I had convinced myself that the negativity in the city was interfering with me when in fact it was just me.

So maybe its possible that this realization unlocked what was holding me back? Only time will tell but for now I'll be looking forward to another EE session even though I've now done it twice in the past 24hrs! :P

 

[Seamus]

I have not been keeping up with EE in a while... is the recommended frequency of full program practice still two days per week? If so, what two days do most people practice on?

Thanks

I wanted to follow up and report my experiences. I practiced EE regularly last summer, but have not practiced since late fall. I have practiced every day since Sunday, running through the full practice on Sunday and Thursday. I also took Iron's advice to break up the practice if I don't have time to do the whole thing, so several days this week I ran through three stage breathing and warrior's breath in the morning. I have said the POTS every night before I fall asleep.

I mentioned in this thread that I have been having trouble controlling negative emotions recently, especially in the last month. Several members replied and suggested that I practice EE. I want to thank them for the suggestion, as I have noticed an immediate reduction in my stress level, both physically and emotionally. I feel more focused and the level of mental chatter seems to have reduced considerably. I have also felt that I have much better control over my reaction to emotions that arise over the course of the day. That is to say that although I am still feeling powerful mood swings, I don't feel so compelled to act on the emotion. My family members and several friends have confirmed my observations by remarking that I seem much more calm and "in a better mood" this week than in the past month or so.

Other effects that I have noticed:
Vivid, emotional dreams every night. Often multiple rounds of dreams that wake me up.
Yawning
Zoning during Ba-Ha and POTS
Increased mobility in my body - when I stretch in the morning I can stretch further because my body is more relaxed

Thats all for now.
Seamas

 

[Nienna]

Seams, it's good to see that you are already getting the benefits of the EE program. I would like to ask, have you started on the Ultra Simple Diet yet, or cut out any of the evil foods such as wheat, dairy, corn, soy, sugar, high fructose corn syrup?

These toxic foods can also have a detrimental affect on emotions, moods swings, inflammed muscles, etc.

If you are detoxifying with EE, I would suggest that you also detoxify by getting rid of the evil foods.

fwiw

 

[Bluestar]

Been awhile since I posted an update.

Doing much better with the EE program lately. Have been able to practice on Thursdays for about two weeks and every night doing the prayer. The thoughts that try to distract are much fewer and the feeling after yesterday was humbling to say the least. Tears filled my eyes during POTS. Not so much of sadness, but of feeling like coming home to something special. Know that it is subjective, but it is how I felt. And that was humbling. Did see some interesting faces flash across my minds eye, Have no idea who they were, not familiar at all. Will be adding Monday nights this coming Monday. The posts here and after reading Laura's SOTT article "All For One and One For All", has been an immense gift. Thank you!

 

[Seamus]

Seams, it's good to see that you are already getting the benefits of the EE program. I would like to ask, have you started on the Ultra Simple Diet yet, or cut out any of the evil foods such as wheat, dairy, corn, soy, sugar, high fructose corn syrup?

These toxic foods can also have a detrimental affect on emotions, moods swings, inflammed muscles, etc.

If you are detoxifying with EE, I would suggest that you also detoxify by getting rid of the evil foods.

fwiw

Hi Nienna Eluch,

The UltraMind solution arrived at my house on Friday, and I have a detox cookbook that I picked up earlier in the year that follows very similar principles and cuts out the same foods. I am planning to start the diet in the next week or two. I have been gradually cutting down on wheat and dairy for some time and I cut corn, soy, sugar and corn syrup out of my diet a long time ago, so I'm hoping it won't be too difficult of a transition.

I will let you know how the diet goes when I start.

 

[Avi]

Hello All,

I have not posted to this thread for awhile and just wanted to share a bit.

When first starting the program I was not really detoxing, though my diet had improved considerably since finding this forum. As of today I am much better at what I eat in terms of no wheat, gluten, dairy, sugar if at all possible. And absolutely NO HFCS! Still learning. Yet perhaps because of this (see-sawing with diet) I also become inconsistent with regular practice of the program.

After a long hiatus from work, however, I managed to gain employment again recently and the stress levels are hitting me so realized it is time to re-dedicate myself to the program. I feel much more optimistic and starting to get back "drive" that had been gone for quite awhile.

I've practiced some pipe breath while walking my dogs throughout this time and also the POTS on occasion but the round breathing has been out for quite some time now. Tonight I did the full program again and feel very good and relaxed, peaceful. Now that I am working again it feels like a complete revolution of a cycle in my life, one that hit very low points, I would say rock bottom but I have hit that on more than one occasion in life so maybe this was "6' under"?

It is interesting to note the things that go on during the program, particularly visuals as tonight I began to imagine protection around me and the house, a "solid" line or wall, which then appeared as a plane, then a sphere or an "egg" but soon started to branch and move rapidly on three axis (x, y, z) and started to rotate which come to think of it now reminds me of an atom. Very dynamic.

Just wanted to post this and keep posting on this thread for I feel it is important and realize the necessity to keep taking steps towards overcoming resistance.

with kind regards.

 

[Ollie]

For this past week, a rare occasion, doing the E-E Breathing meditation programme of pipe breathing and PotS without listening to Laura’s voice – the effect of my own voice is less than that of Laura’s.

One thing that I did discover this last week, on one particular memorable walk in the mountains, is that: to finally reach somewhere that is truly beautiful and natural, a feast for the whole body system, definitely requires payment in advance – suffering - in terms of effort and overcoming obstacles placed in the way.

I now have a beautiful memory of a specific journey and a destination that indicates what the Work is all about now, well for me it is. The memory is of arriving at a glacial hollow with majestic scenery and being in secluded solitude with nature’s gems.

And, for the first time I was waking in the hills and mountains free of any sort of ‘time’ pressure or constraint, which I put down to doing the E-E programme all these weeks and months.

Mind-bodywise, on that same ‘trip’, I ‘slid’ down a section of scree and in the process mildly damaged my left ring finger tip - a cut to the skin.
According to Louise Hay in You Can Heal Your Life,

Fingers - Union and grief.
Cuts - Punishment for not following your own rules.
Injuries – Anger at self. Feeling guilty.
Wounds – Anger and guilt at the self.
LHS – receptivity, taking in.

And Lise Bourbeau, states that, emotionally, the ring finger represents chagrin in relationships, and suggests looking at the larger picture instead of focusing on the details. Mentally she suggests letting go of all non-essential details and that perfectionism is getting the better of me; to concentrate on things that will help me be in harmony with my-self – stop trying to DO and HAVE perfection – letting go of details that concern other people.

So, to an extent, a continuation of the previous week, except a change of location! I am aware of my thinking that led to this ‘accident’ to bring my buffers, or limiting decisions, into focus.

 

[Hesper]

After a long hiatus from work, however, I managed to gain employment again recently and the stress levels are hitting me so realized it is time to re-dedicate myself to the program. I feel much more optimistic and starting to get back "drive" that had been gone for quite awhile.

Just wanted to say that's great to hear, Herakles. Best of luck at your new job :)

I had a really exciting meditation tonight. Very peaceful, felt focused and able to deal with some of my personal issues, and then I noticed something realllly big, at least to me. I noticed the "wolf" or predator's mind in a really concrete way. It happened when I would start to feel anything comforting, it seemed like the predator's mind would devour that sensation and just analyze it to pieces. So I tried to watch it do that, and then I noticed that, when I thought I was watching, I was actually analyzing the whole thing to pieces again haha. And then I thought "what if I never see this again?". And then I felt comfortable, oddly enough. Just watching my thoughts, feelings, sensations, I felt almost real for a minute. Very nice meditation.

 

[GAIA]

Wow Thank you Laura! Thank you, thank you, thank you!! This is some potent stuff!
Just want to share my experiences. (I'm currently trying to work my way through this thread but it's long!)

I have now been practicing the whole program since May, (doing it in parts but now I am doing the whole program on Monday's and Thursday's, listening to the POTS in my ipod every night before bed, and trying to do some pipe breathing every day) and these are some of my experiences so far....
Energy circling in my body, I feel it in my palms and feet (just like I do when I practice Reiki but this is much stronger), I feel the crown chakra and when doing the Beatha I get a lot of pressure on my third eye and when this happens I start to see this purple flickering light that is constantly changing size and shape. I try to stay with it but in the end it fades. Now lately I've felt the energy moving lower, reaching the throat and and going a little lower but not quite reaching the heart chakra.
Then I've had a "snap" noise in my left ear twice and with it came like a high frequency sound. Ive had a lot of twitches in my fingers.

And then the other day a had a strange sensation while doing the Beatha...I felt like my head was being gently pulled upwards and put into a certain position, kind of like someone had his hands under my head and pulled upwards and back and I could feel a lot of energy in the head and neck. Has anyone else had this? Maybe it's been talked about in the thread but I'm only on page 25 so bear with me ;)
And lastly after doing the program in the afternoons, after it finishes I open my eyes and I see differently, almost like everythings a little fuzzy and soft, like I'm seeing energy, sorry can't explain it better than that. :/

 

[Keit]

Something that I've noticed over time is that for some reason it is easier for me to "zone out" or enter deeper meditative state while doing EE with other people. And not that I am trying to do it on purpose, it just happens. Perhaps doing it in a company of others makes me more relaxed (secure?) or perhaps even more concentrated, don't know really. Perhaps it also related somehow to the fact that even concentrating on a specific or general task comes easier to me while being among other people. Somehow, even if there is a bit of noise around, paradoxically it helps me to concentrate more.

Maybe it relates somehow to the topic of dissociation, or maybe something else, related to energy maybe? Maybe even something psychological related to being comfortable and relaxed enough with myself? Just thinking out loud here. While I do the whole program by myself, on one hand I am more aware, but also have more popping up thoughts and have to constantly keep myself on a track. Which is good for the purpose of developing self-discipline, of course, just wonder about possible reasons for this difference in experience.

 

[Rhys]

I have just finished a full EE session whilst reading through the forum and SOTT (due to time constraints - I'm at work at the moment). The Pipe breathing allowed me to concentrate more fully on what I'm reading instead of worrying myself about 'getting through it all' and ending up skimming through what is written. Normally, I am at work when online here, so I have to divide my time between reading and working which I find very distracting as I would prefer to do one or the other. I let this affect my attitude towards my reading and it becomes an issue, but the Pipe breathing relaxes me enough to think more logically and without feeling 'time pressure' which ironically increases my reading speed and comprehension. I notice it more than ever now.

I continued to read during the Bioenergetic breathing and POTS, and during this time I began to really feel as though I was incapable of any genuinely useful input on this Forum. I notice that I am incapable of Thinking and 'Connecting the Dots' which is putting me off contributing in other threads right now. I understand that we all need to start somewhere, but I don't think I can make it in time. I broke down in tears as I was musing about completely handing myself over to DCM so that I could be at least a little bit more 'useful' to the Fellowship. I find this very upsetting

Maybe this is just a 'phase' I need to go through, or maybe I'm missing the point entirely? Just need to get my thinking cap on!

 

[henry]

Rhys, it is the effort you are making that counts. We are all at different points in our development.

But don’t overdo the effort and get yourself discouraged because you are setting unrealistic goals.

I think it is a bit too much to try and do the Beatha breathing and POTS while you are trying to read. :)

Doing some pipe breathing to help yourself concentrate is good, but the POTS is supposed to be done while meditating on the words to the Prayer. And the Beatha can be demanding! Remember, the Beatha is doing the archeological work on buried emotions. I think you may be trying to “cram” a bit too much into too little time. No wonder you feel overwhelmed at all there is to learn! Plus, you’re trying to do it all at work! Phew! That’s asking a lot of yourself.

Relax a bit! When you do the Beatha and the POTS, do the Beatha and the POTS. When you read the forum, read the forum. Don’t try to do it all at once! At least, that’s how it strikes me. :)

 

[henry]

Another thought.

To do the Beatha and POTS at work will trying to read the forum is an effort. But it is draining.

But to discipline yourself to do something every day, regularly, whether you feel like doing it or not, also takes effort. It is not draining. It builds will power.

 

[ignis.intimus]

I having been doing my usual EE-lite or partial program more as of late. Last Sunday and twice on Monday. In the past month or so when doing EE, I feel like I am getting better about not holding myself to unrealistic expectations and needing to fulfill some false idea of perfection. I do my best and work to make the effort count, but I don't beat myself up about "failing" - which equates to not being able to "keep up" with even the 3-stage pipe breath. It takes so much effort to even do the pipe breath in the beginning, I can't even do the full recording the whole way through. I get a couple of "good ones" in then ... well I'm not sure what exactly happens but its like stuff starts to bubble up a little bit and I get distracted. I then have to take a mini-break and just breathe "normally" (which doesn't seem very normal at all to be honest) and then I can jump back in and follow-along. Then another mini-break, rinse and repeat.

For me it's a combination of how effective the EE program is, and how poor my breathing has been for most of my life. No pain no gain. I compare it a lot to Rolfing, which also basically "rocked my world" but in a different way, about 4-5 years ago. Rolfing is usually a very painful process to go through - in an immediate, direct, and profound way. A person who really needs it, and then gets Rolfed and all the while is an active participant will soon discover how much pain their body is holding onto. And having that come to your attention, to become aware of it, can be the catalyst for deep personal change. Rolfing broke something inside of me, it broke parts of the unhealthy psychological/physiological structure that had existed in me for so long. It truly was a life-changing experience. But like I said, it broke something in me, it didn't demolish it, tear it down, and repair the land. I basically have been "limping" around ever since.

Until I started the EE program. At first it was like poking a hole in a dam. You know the "lake" needs to be drained, but start getting really nervous as you see the cracks spreading and it dawns on you just how much "water" is behind it. You fear being washed away by a tidal wave of water and debris. But at the same time to see and feel that water begin to drain, for your body to purge all of that junk, is a feeling unlike any other ... when your whole life has been spent emotionally dead. At this point, I feel like I am past the worst of it. At least for the this leg of the journey; I definitely feel as if I have passed a "mile marker". Now I don't feel so afraid of being washed away. I'm on firming footing now, I've "dug in" to keep myself planted in the ground.

I have pretty much always had some amount of visual experience when doing the EE; image accompaniments. Lately, since I have been doing the EE program more frequently, the visuals have become more intense, and remain with me for longer afterward (meaning I don't basically forget about them as quickly, and their possible significance). As of very late, a lot of these images have been ... disturbing. I won't get too deep into them, as some may not appreciate it, but am mulling over a post to the Swamp just to share some of the things I have "seen".

I was doing some pipe breathing a little while ago, and "saw" a sorta stick figure outline of myself, but it was mostly my spine (represented but a single line) and then a "head" but I didn't see it that well. I basically saw this image as being a picture of me, at that moment. The spine was one line like I said, and it was rounded all around (very smooth), and had a pinkish hue with a little white in it. As I breathed in, my "spine" bent outwards kinda like a rubber hand as my belly went out. When I exhaled it came back in. That went on for a little bit. Then things start to shift around a little bit and I turn my "eyes" inward and what I saw was disturbing, just an FYI. I'm having a hard time figuring out how to go about saying this ... you know how there are sayings that you might hear like "a hole in my heart" or "ripped my heart out", stuff like that? Well ... along those lines except instead of a hole there was a gaping cavity, visible to me in very gory detail. It was in triangle shape, stretching from shoulder to shoulder across my chest under my throat, and then extending down to my sternum as the third point. There was nothing in there except the inside of my back. No heart, no lungs, just a cavity. Lately too I have felt an increase in heat in this area, feeling quite warm both internally and when I put my hands there. During this, I could also felt this heat and in the image, I could see/feel this heat on the outlines of this cavity.

I was hoping to say more, to put a good "wrapper" on this post, but posts like this tend to take a lot of energy. Ill end it by saying that I feel hopeful for the future, for my future. Namaste.