ETA?

[Average Joe]

I'm sort of on again, off again with the use of alcohol. I find parties and other social gatherings rather tedious and boring. I much prefer sobriety, but my social skills seem to need a lot of lubrication in order to function smoothly. It's a cheap shortcut.
There are also a lot of energy vampires out there who love to feed in crowds. There is a friend of my wife who I think of as the black hole. Just getting near her one has the feeling of getting drained. She's a very nice person but I avoid her like the plague.
Needless to say I'm not a big partier, but a marriage is all about compromise.

 

[Deleted member 8431]

I'm sort of on again, off again with the use of alcohol. I find parties and other social gatherings rather tedious and boring. I much prefer sobriety, but my social skills seem to need a lot of lubrication in order to function smoothly. It's a cheap shortcut.

I hear ya bro. :(

The more I learn about reality, the more bored I feel during those 'parties'. I am tired of hearing again and again all the same boring, useless and irrelevant subjects. I mean, it's not a judgement, just a lack of compatibility on my behalf.

I mean, some subject touch me but if I make the mistake of going too deep people tent to think I am completely crazy. :D

Boy I feel like an alien sometimes. Fact is the world hasen't changed. I simply did myself.

There are also a lot of energy vampires out there who love to feed in crowds. There is a friend of my wife who I think of as the black hole. Just getting near her one has the feeling of getting drained. She's a very nice person but I avoid her like the plague.
Needless to say I'm not a big partier, but a marriage is all about compromise.

Have heard about that a while ago. Thanks for reminding me I shall get into the matter. I think that form of knowledge is very important. I don't want to get my energy drained even by somebody who isn't even aware he/she does when I can prevent it. Knowledge protects, ignorance engdangers.

 

[truth seeker]

I'm sort of on again, off again with the use of alcohol. I find parties and other social gatherings rather tedious and boring. I much prefer sobriety, but my social skills seem to need a lot of lubrication in order to function smoothly. It's a cheap shortcut.
There are also a lot of energy vampires out there who love to feed in crowds. There is a friend of my wife who I think of as the black hole. Just getting near her one has the feeling of getting drained. She's a very nice person but I avoid her like the plague.
Needless to say I'm not a big partier, but a marriage is all about compromise.

Have you tried ee meditation? It's worked to a large extent in helping me relax in social situations.

 

[Ekios]

I'm sort of on again, off again with the use of alcohol. I find parties and other social gatherings rather tedious and boring. I much prefer sobriety, but my social skills seem to need a lot of lubrication in order to function smoothly. It's a cheap shortcut.

It is "funny" If I can use that word, since I am considering lately to try alcohol in order to see if it could ease my own reaction about "reality" ...

See, I don't get directly depressed about it, neither bored, me it turns me MAD and PISSED OFF like hell every 5 minutes... What I realize, what I see, and what sometimes I show to people and the way they react ... turns me nuts

Damn it, I have people I care so much about who are getting angry because I show them a few "glitch" of reality, people who blamed me because, and I quote them "I don't want to see that or hear it, I don't want to know, leave it away from my hears or eyes"

There are also a lot of energy vampires out there who love to feed in crowds. There is a friend of my wife who I think of as the black hole. Just getting near her one has the feeling of getting drained. She's a very nice person but I avoid her like the plague.
Needless to say I'm not a big partier, but a marriage is all about compromise.

Oh ... I hear ya ... just see above.

Have you tried ee meditation? It's worked to a large extent in helping me relax in social situations.

I for my own will try it the week to come, lets hope I can make it efficient enough ...

 

[Gonzo]

Damn it, I have people I care so much about who are getting angry because I show them a few "glitch" of reality, people who blamed me because, and I quote them "I don't want to see that or hear it, I don't want to know, leave it away from my hears or eyes"

Perhaps they were angry because you violated their free will and learning path, forcing upon them what you felt was best for them.

One of the most difficult lessons for us is to avoid deciding for others what they should know or do. This problem epitomizes our self importance, where we actually believe we know what's best for others, when in reality, most of us don't even know what's best for ourselves.

Regarding using alcohol as a device, I really don't think that's a good idea either. If one is in a situation where they can't cope with reality or need a way to bring their anxiety down, then that is a signal that a person needs to develop such ability within themselves. Since alcohol is societally accepted (in the Western world, anyway), it doesn't seem strange when a person uses it as a crutch. But if, instead of alcohol, a person were to say they would like to use a certain drug or adopt a certain unconventional behaviour, the concept would really stand out. Imagine being at a party and hearing someone say, "Man, I find these gathering so distressing. I'm going to the bathroom to masturbate for a bit and will be back soon." You probably would think they need to develop a better coping strategy.

Besides, alcohol has significant negative impacts on the body and is certainly not an optimal fuel.

It would be more appropriate to learn meditation and relaxation techniques than to use an intoxicant, IMO. Many techniques, like the pipe breathing from EE for example, can be used in public without anyone knowing you are applying them.

My 0.02 cents, fwiw,
Gonzo

 

[Ekios]

Damn it, I have people I care so much about who are getting angry because I show them a few "glitch" of reality, people who blamed me because, and I quote them "I don't want to see that or hear it, I don't want to know, leave it away from my hears or eyes"

Perhaps they were angry because you violated their free will and learning path, forcing upon them what you felt was best for them.

One of the most difficult lessons for us is to avoid deciding for others what they should know or do. This problem epitomizes our self importance, where we actually believe we know what's best for others, when in reality, most of us don't even know what's best for ourselves.

Worst part is : they asked me. I read that a lot, to not "tell people until they ask" and that is what I did lately. I'm not even seeking to tell anything to anyone since I consider myself like a young learner who probably didn't understand 1% about the whole thing.

Regarding using alcohol as a device, I really don't think that's a good idea either. If one is in a situation where they can't cope with reality or need a way to bring their anxiety down, then that is a signal that a person needs to develop such ability within themselves. Since alcohol is societally accepted (in the Western world, anyway), it doesn't seem strange when a person uses it as a crutch. But if, instead of alcohol, a person were to say they would like to use a certain drug or adopt a certain unconventional behaviour, the concept would really stand out. Imagine being at a party and hearing someone say, "Man, I find these gathering so distressing. I'm going to the bathroom to masturbate for a bit and will be back soon." You probably would think they need to develop a better coping strategy.

Besides, alcohol has significant negative impacts on the body and is certainly not an optimal fuel.

It would be more appropriate to learn meditation and relaxation techniques than to use an intoxicant, IMO. Many techniques, like the pipe breathing from EE for example, can be used in public without anyone knowing you are applying them.

My 0.02 cents, fwiw,
Gonzo

Your 0.02 cents are worth it, no questions about them :)
Anyway, i'm about to get 10 days alone at home, I will use them to start my EE learning. Plus, I can play my big mouth all I want, i'm about to be 32 and yet I still can't bear the smell of alcohol so it would have been a complicated choice ;)

 

[Average Joe]

I started watching the EE video yesterday, but haven't finished it yet. I meditated daily for a few years but finally gave it up due to time restraints and family pressures. It's also very difficult for me to calm my overactive mind down. It's like trying to stop a stampede.
I was a little moody and quiet yesterday, thinking about some of the material I read in the Wave. Wife was sure that something was "wrong" and started trying to pry it out of me. I told her that it was nothing, just some stuff I was thinking about. She's like a pitbull when she wants to get something out of me, so she wouldn't let it go.
I eventually relented and told her I was seeing the world in a different light, and trying to process it. I don't usually discuss material like this with her because she doesn't want to hear about it. She likes her own world view just the way it is.
Her reaction was typically negative, even though I kept the subject matter very general and philosophical. "You shouldn't read that stuff because it always make you depressed", which isn't true, but that's how she views it. All I could see was the gulf between us widening even further.
Our paths have been divergent for some time now. I just wonder how far is too far. I feel like I'm getting close to the point of no return, and it's very confusing.
I can't go back because that would be spiritual death for me. I want what's best for the family, but I'm having a hard time reconciling my own need for personal growth with that of a stable relationship. I want to travel down the path of life with someone who shares my interests, but the choice I made many years ago precludes this option.
I'm at a crossroad and trying desperately to ignore it. Nothing seems clear or definite. Do I fall back into comfort and familiarity, or do I press on. I know I need to press on but...

 

[Ekios]

I was a little moody and quiet yesterday, thinking about some of the material I read in the Wave. Wife was sure that something was "wrong" and started trying to pry it out of me. I told her that it was nothing, just some stuff I was thinking about. She's like a pitbull when she wants to get something out of me, so she wouldn't let it go.
I eventually relented and told her I was seeing the world in a different light, and trying to process it. I don't usually discuss material like this with her because she doesn't want to hear about it. She likes her own world view just the way it is.
Her reaction was typically negative, even though I kept the subject matter very general and philosophical. "You shouldn't read that stuff because it always make you depressed", which isn't true, but that's how she views it. All I could see was the gulf between us widening even further.

I wouldn't have describe that daily issue better. Thing is, considering the evolution "outside" both our beloved one little world risks to become very weird and they will start seeking answers all of a sudden.

I made the personal choice to take the road of learning while evading as much as i can confrontations about that, even when she asks since that for now she refuse the answers I could provide. I'm betting on the fact that at some point she will just listen by herself, when she will be ready, or facing to much things that don't make sense anymore.

 

[meta-agnostic]

Damn it, I have people I care so much about who are getting angry because I show them a few "glitch" of reality, people who blamed me because, and I quote them "I don't want to see that or hear it, I don't want to know, leave it away from my hears or eyes"

Perhaps they were angry because you violated their free will and learning path, forcing upon them what you felt was best for them.

One of the most difficult lessons for us is to avoid deciding for others what they should know or do. This problem epitomizes our self importance, where we actually believe we know what's best for others, when in reality, most of us don't even know what's best for ourselves.

Worst part is : they asked me. I read that a lot, to not "tell people until they ask" and that is what I did lately. I'm not even seeking to tell anything to anyone since I consider myself like a young learner who probably didn't understand 1% about the whole thing.

I'm curious about the specifics of what they asked you and what you told them, if you'd care to share. I know I get terribly bored and lonely having to interact with people but having to keep all this information to myself for my own & their good, and whenever someone seems like they might want to talk about esoteric subjects it's hard for me not to jump on it. But people can be deceptive and fickle, and maybe they didn't know what they were in for or had some other idea in mind, or changed their mind once they received an answer they didn't like.

I've tried in the past to use questioning the official story of 9/11 as a litmus test, but I've found it doesn't go very far. People can be open-minded about this subject but still fairly stubborn regarding just about everything else. (Still nice to know who those 9/11 questioners are and that they're out there, though ;D )

 

[Ekios]

I was reading a SOTT news, and apparently my face was very "focused" so she asked me what I was staring at so seriously.

I explained her the topic (a crazy guy who tried to bite cops faces and acting like a ninja even after being tazzed ). Then she asked me about SOTT and questions after questions it leaded to the global earth activities, meteors, the cyclic aspect of those things, the manipulation of the news, the US health-care disaster to come, food poising and so on. (always following topics of SOTT)

Keep in mind that this list came up only since she asked and asked and asked.

Later I felt on another news with some crazy bus driver in China who tried to "eat" a woman (or so I recall, I think that news was older than the first one but I got it later). I had the wrong idea to mention it to her like "oh wow, another one tried to eat someone" and then BOOM ... I got caught in some messy turmoil since she didn't want to hear about those things, she don't want to see them or even to think about them that it was some big load of BS anyway. I have to admit that I have a strong temper and in normal times when someone yells at me that way, I yell louder (like an idiot, yes indeed) but that time I was like "woops"

Now I have to respect that, I have to leave my temper alone and keep doing my reading/learning and try to understand as more as I can in my corner. Depending about how it will go "oustide" she will probably come back on those topics and ask me more about them. Maybe she is reading SOTT by herself, getting on her own process tracks, who knows :)

I'm trying to not take it personal since she was more angry about the message than the messenger, and, after that "moment" it came back to normal. I just feel her look at me when i'm focusing on something on my screen sometimes, but I try to make her laugh then while doing suddenly a face like that -> :P

 

[Deleted member 8431]

Regarding using alcohol as a device, I really don't think that's a good idea either. If one is in a situation where they can't cope with reality or need a way to bring their anxiety down, then that is a signal that a person needs to develop such ability within themselves. Since alcohol is societally accepted (in the Western world, anyway), it doesn't seem strange when a person uses it as a crutch. But if, instead of alcohol, a person were to say they would like to use a certain drug or adopt a certain unconventional behaviour, the concept would really stand out.

I know what you mean bro. I got caught in a lot of chemical addictions in the past including alcohol and other psychoactive substances.

What you have said is very wise actually. One should always consider it when planning to perturbate their minds with whatever compound(s), be it legal or not.

I have flirted with 'death' too many times as a result of my decisions to do so and fell into various other traps such as wishful thinking. Be very vigilant. Sometimes, the moment you realise the trap you have felt in, much 'damage' (physical/emotional) may have already been done.

Imagine being at a party and hearing someone say, "Man, I find these gathering so distressing. I'm going to the bathroom to masturbate for a bit and will be back soon." You probably would think they need to develop a better coping strategy.

Well now in retrospect, thinking about all these people going to the bathroom during gatherings and coming back 'releived' makes me terribly wonder.

It's either that or bodily waste disposal.

Hope it's the latter.

 

[Gonzo]

Damn it, I have people I care so much about who are getting angry because I show them a few "glitch" of reality, people who blamed me because, and I quote them "I don't want to see that or hear it, I don't want to know, leave it away from my hears or eyes"

Perhaps they were angry because you violated their free will and learning path, forcing upon them what you felt was best for them.

One of the most difficult lessons for us is to avoid deciding for others what they should know or do. This problem epitomizes our self importance, where we actually believe we know what's best for others, when in reality, most of us don't even know what's best for ourselves.

Worst part is : they asked me. I read that a lot, to not "tell people until they ask" and that is what I did lately. I'm not even seeking to tell anything to anyone since I consider myself like a young learner who probably didn't understand 1% about the whole thing.

I stand corrected. It's very hard for someone to know when another person is truly asking, since they don't know what the answer will be and how they might react to it. I find tit quite difficult to discern how much information to give when someone wants to know more about a given subject. The strategy I'm trying to implement is to gauge their reaction as I go, providing incrementally increasing unpleasant information as I go along.

It reminds me of a time when, upon reading a horrible story of beheading that had a link to more info, which I clicked and wished I didn't, as the page was loaded with photos that someone captured during this nasty event. The image is permanently burned in my mind and, had I known what I was about to see, I would never have clicked the link. So, if the link had a warning that the destination web page had grotesque and disturbing images, I would have been able to make a more informed decision. I guess the same applies when someone is innocently or naively seeking knowledge that could challenge their beliefs, terrify them or even traumatize them, once they find it.

Gonzo

 

[anart]

Depending about how it will go "oustide" she will probably come back on those topics and ask me more about them. Maybe she is reading SOTT by herself, getting on her own process tracks, who knows :)

I think this is serious wishful thinking on your part and that you need to study up on strategic enclosure and external consideration.

 

[Ekios]

Depending about how it will go "oustide" she will probably come back on those topics and ask me more about them. Maybe she is reading SOTT by herself, getting on her own process tracks, who knows :)

I think this is serious wishful thinking on your part and that you need to study up on strategic enclosure and external consideration.

Oh well ... I guess I will keep it shut for a while then :)
Thank you for the "repositioning"

 

[Deleted member 8431]

Depending about how it will go "oustide" she will probably come back on those topics and ask me more about them. Maybe she is reading SOTT by herself, getting on her own process tracks, who knows :)

I think this is serious wishful thinking on your part and that you need to study up on strategic enclosure and external consideration.

Oh well ... I guess I will keep it shut for a while then :)
Thank you for the "repositioning"

Don't worry my firend.

Just look at what you have written just under your avatar. These are wise words. ;)