j0da, thank you so much for starting this thread; what you wrote and the responses from Thomas C, Joe, nemo, anart, Tigersoap, Zadius Sky, ScioAgapeOmnis and others helped me so much I can’t even properly express it verbally. So thanks to all of you and this whole network. We can see how valuable it is to have such a network to help us in this most difficult Work. The support for our continuing the Work, combined with the impartial/objective feedback this network provides, really gives me hope that the chance of "success" is optimized.
But above all, for me, making the effort constantly is what matters most. Even if I don’t "succeed," I see this Work as the most valuable, important, and meaningful pursuit one could find in life. We should always try to remember that it is a process - an ongoing one - and we can only do what we can at our own level at each given moment; so it’s the maximum effort that counts. We can’t anticipate what the outcome will be. To always remember "All is Lessons" helps me immensely.
We all go through periods of depression, but this is part of the process. Life in general is filled with suffering but all of this suffering can lead also to learning. As a child is learning to walk, falling is part of the process. The child may feel hurt, think it is so unfair, be overwhelmed by frustration and pain, etc. But eventually the child learns to walk. Some children fall and experience more pain, suffering and struggle than others to learn to walk, but they will all learn to walk in their own way, at their own pace. No one else could do this for the child, the child has to do it for him/her self. After a child learns to walk, it never enters the child’s mind that it would have been better not to have fallen, not to have experienced pain and suffering, and never having learned to walk.
We are all like children learning to walk.
Speaking for myself, I have gone through the requisite "general moral bankruptcy" so that I value this Quest, this Work for Evolution more than anything else. Having looked at myself with sustained efforts, I have seen things that I do not wish to forget, no matter how painful. Evolution by definition has to be very difficult; there has to be super efforts made to overcome the resistance/obstacles to achieve evolution on any level. We are trying to achieve an Evolution to become True Men & Women from our current factitious existence as machines / mechanical exterior men & women / automatons.
I was feeling a certain vague depression in recent days (which coincided with SOTT being hacked / unavailable) because of the condition of those around me as well as my own condition and reading this thread really helped me immensely.
The hypothesis we are working with here has already given me (and many others here) empirical data about myself and my environment. I accept that I am currently STS, mechanical, and inconsistent. I am making my efforts to become and remain an STO candidate; at this point this is all I can do. I feel inexpressible gratitude for having SOTT/QFS/QFG/CASS network to help and I want to contribute all I can to this network as well. The Creative contribution made to humanity and the planet by the Administrators, Editors, Moderators, and Members of this exceptional network is truly unique. Laura, Ark, Joe, Henry, Scott, and many others have really come up with an ingenious way to help as many people as possible who are looking for this kind of invaluable support - really a whole new paradigm TO BE - without violating the free will of those who do not want or look for it. And we all know the enormous sacrifices they’ve all made for this truly singular Project. All of which is a huge inspiration to keep up our utmost efforts....
Since life, in general, is so full of suffering, we might as well suffer consciously for a reason: to learn, grow, develop, evolve to our ultimate potential.