finding partners...

[luke wilson]

God, I have to say this is a depressing thread.

 

[Miss.K]

I think that the thing is that love manifests here on earth as hormones that feel good. The feel good hormones can be induced without real love, and can be used as a drug, with all the traps and escapes from reality, that drugs have.
But the hormones also come with real love, as love will manifest as love hormones.

Yes, but these are different hormones. If you've read Cupid's Poisoned Arrow, the hormones that are released whith bonding behaviours are different than the hormones released in other types of encounters.

I have not yet read Cupid's Poisoned Arrow yet, but I remember when the thread about it came up, I followed it for a while (it is on my list to read)

But from what I've read about it, mixed with having observed myself a lot while under influence of hormones, I think there is some anxiety hormones that are in the cocktail, when it's the "Poisined Arrow" love, that is not in the "I know you" love.
In the first there is "Afraid I'll lose you" anxiety, mixed with all kinds of "I must have you or die" or "I want to eat you and absorb you that way" kinda of insanity feelings,
and in the other there is "I know you are here" calm, though I would say there is a slight sadness mixed in the second, that comes from knowing that separation will come at some point (if nothing else, death will do part at least for a while)
But that sadness is not bad, it is more that it brings awareness of how precious good things are.

I think that Neil and Menna are right here. We aren't yet on the spot where we can say we know what true love is, as love is not just something that feels good, I think it is more like a state of consciousness, awareness and BEing that requires unity of self and previous Work.

Oh I agree in many ways too! Or I wouldn't have spend 6 years not getting any! :)

I think that all the years that I have observed myself (and my former cat) when being under the influence of hormones, have given me some understanding of what they are and do.
Of cause there is a chance that this might be BS, as I know how strong they can be, and am not sure I could resist if the dosage were significantly higher, but I think that it is actually the having observed myself that makes the dosage not so high, because when it comes I can better see it for what it is, and also that the target of my affection is not a soulmate, no matter how soulful his eyes are, and that makes the hormones less overwhelming.
So when it happens, I try to use the hormones to enjoy that they must mean I'm not dead yet, but apart from that I don't "go with them".
This also enables me to enjoy that there are wonderful people in the world, some even wonderful enough for me to wish for a kiss. And that is better than a world with no one I wish to kiss.

I think that the "We aren't yet on the spot where we can say we know what true love is" is similar to that we don't yet know what it truly means to be STO.
I agree, but at the same time I don't think it is something impossible to grasp. It is true that it is hard for us to grasp what true love is, because all our actions spring from wanting something (even the do good ones) But by observing ourselves (with a good portion of self compassion or we will lie) we can gradually discern what is the STS part of our actions. And so with love.

I found from observing myself that there is no point in drinking the poisoned arrow kind of cocktail (though it is fancy looking and tasty at first) as the feeling it gives is hunger, and the more you get of it the hungrier you get. So unless one likes to be hungry, it should be avoided. But I'm not sure I could have understood that without having gone through it while observing myself.

When working on not going with any "I need, I want" feelings when loving, what comes is a feeling of loving, but not needing, and the hunger stops, and one can love someone, even with all their faults, instead of wanting them to fill the hungry bottomless pit. (though this don't mean that one should enter a relationship with them and make their faults ones problem)

I think though, that one must accept that one has a hungry bottomless pit, as long as one is STS, but it hurt less and get smaller, if one stop feeding it too much. I'm not totally sure though that not feeding it at all is good, as it can backfire. I believe Gurdieff said to "feed the tapeworm" (I think to his female student group, -I didn't read it, but a friend of mine talked about it while she was reading it)

But I guess we can experience glimpses of what that is in the ways you described Miss K. (love of knowledge, wanting to know more because we love someone, or others, etc...), but even that can be programs running, so, it is very important to keep ourselves "down on earth" so to say and remember that love, in the terms that you describe it, depends on our level of BEing and therefore, it requires that we work on our BEing. OSIT

I agree,
I think what I'm trying to get at (not arguing for, just exploring as I'm trying to understand things by talking about them) is that life is a school, and that learning by doing is not a bad thing. I do agree that "the smart man learns from the mistakes of others" But I also agree that "a full man don't understand a hungry man", and that feeling the hunger gives an understanding of it, that hearing about it don't give, and so I'm not sure that theory alone can get one to a place where one has learned what needs to be learned in order not to get hurt or do wrong. So I'm not able to say "Be absent and wait until you have become STO before entering in a human love relationship" , because I think that life is a school, and if theory was enough to understand how to love, then we would never have fallen from "Eden" ...does that make sense?

 

[Jodi]

It makes sense to me, Miss K! If we are broken, what appeals to us must also be broken. To get back a healthy relationship, we need to be healthy. Where we are affects everything that we draw in.

 

[luke wilson]

Talking purely from an experience point of view... not experience in love, but experience in life and the unfolding of personal events in at least my own life which is the only life I have 'experience' of...

There is another thread where the concept of 'film' is discussed regarding the repetition of events in life when caught in mechanicalness...

In my life, as strange as it sounds, I have tried to follow this film. I have found if I follow the script, things happen more naturally for me and it doesn't feel like moving against the wind. The script, the film, is that which to me happens naturally...

For example, my path to this forum, I had an interest in the alternative from when I was very young. It started quite simply by questioning adults around me, then I started to search for alternatives online, I then started to watch documentaries and went through people like David Icke and Alex Jones... They didn't really satiate and so it continued. I ran across this forum and SOTT quite accidentally. I was simply perusing through documentaries and someone had left a link behind which I clicked. On reading this material, obviously something clicked and this path to me appeared like the next natural step... In this regard I consider this whole process as simply following a script. I ended up here purely by accident... a link left somewhere on the vast ocean that is the internet.

In meeting people, the ones that have the biggest impact or the ones that have the most personal meaning are those who I meet through the natural course of life as opposed to those who I go out of my way to meet e.g. by randomly talking to people on the street to try and make new friends.

In short, there is a certain synergy, a certain rhythm, that appears to be there on an individual level.

You know, you can ask yourself why things have taken 1 form and not another, out of all the countless possibilities, why is this the shape things have taken for you individually? There must be something there, like a river with banks...

So anyways, for me, when it comes to the question of love, even though life has thrown me into situations where I have had to interact with females around this topic, I can't say it has put me on a path where the actual thing can be actualised. I do think when it does, it'll happen quite naturally and by its own accord, through the flow of events, rather than through the forcing of events.

I am not sure if this is me dodging the issue, as whenever I've tried to force the issue, it felt unnatural e.g. by randomly talking to people, or if this is just indicative that for my own personal film, I have not yet reached that stage.

I do think there is a lot to be learnt from this path as there is a lot to be learnt from other paths. I do think someone who has been in relationships continuously from when they were 14 knows things I don't, but I am also pretty sure that having never been in a relationship, I know things this other person doesn't.

At the end of the day, life is an intimately individual thing where you are thrust into a situation to learn intimately personal lessons that were crafted before the process begun. To move into life, then from the position of the living, in the field, to start thinking you know more than you did in that position of contemplation, then to start to act from such a limited scope of view, well, I think that's just plain dangerous. In short, saying I am content to continue following the river. :)

 

[Jodi]

I don't think you're dodging the issue at all, Luke. There's really nothing to dodge. Things play out. The analogy of life being like a movie is a good one. Especially since any form of true "Elightenment" means letting go of the world, not being mired in the illusion.

I don't think you've found your way by accident. I think you were meant to find this site.i found it the same way you did. Someone left a link in a post about an unrelated topic! Lol. For me, it felt like an answer to a prayer.

The people you meet along the way are opportunities to learn from- especially considering everything is a lesson, as the C's say! Yeah, in a movie you have your Cop #1, Cop #2, Woman at Bus Stop" lol... But how many times are those people the director of the movie? (Steven King and Quentin Tarantino, Martin Scorcese do this in all their movies!) or they're a cameo of maybe Johnny Depp... You just never know who you'll meet.

You have a good outlook on the whole topic.

 

[kalibex]

In short, saying I am content to continue following the river. :)

Sounds Tao-like to me - you could do much worse than to go with the flow.

 

[Miss.K]

I think I see it in a similar way (the film/river) and that is why I think that warnings of dangers are in order, but at the same time I think that there is a certain flow in life that I can't overview from where I stand, and sometimes something that is "bad" teaches me something that makes me able to do something else later in life that is "good" that I wouldn't have known how to do without what was learned from the "bad"

A little like the destruction of the ring wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for Gollum...

Of cause I don't mean go with the flow in a mechanical way. An overall aim is good! But I have stopped trying to "plan events" more and more, as I have found that my plans are rather limited compared to dunno, universe, cosmic mind.

And I agree that different experiences give different understanding, which is exactly why I can neither say that one should not enter romantic relationships, or that one should.
I might have gotten a lot further in some areas if I hadn't spend so much energy on relationships that in many ways were unhealthy and draining, but I might have missed some important understanding of other areas. I might have had less suffering, but might have been more selfimportant, I can't know for sure. (life is a box of chocolate, you never know what you gonna get)

I think the trick is to work with the tool at hand, and always work on that machine in whatever situations life brings. When one gets good enough at it, I'd guess even Lizzie sabotage can be used to better one self...

I am not sure if this is me dodging the issue, as whenever I've tried to force the issue, it felt unnatural e.g. by randomly talking to people, or if this is just indicative that for my own personal film, I have not yet reached that stage.

I personally don't think one can plan to meet a romantic partner. I know that people do online dating, and maybe it's because I haven't grown up with that, so I'm old fashioned, but I think it is utterly unromantic to put an add up and say "I want somebody" as to me it sounds as "anybody" and for me romance can't be with "anybody", and I certainly don't want to be an "anybody" to "somebody". So for me there is not something one can do to find it, apart from working on everything that one as well would work on if not wanting to find a partner.

So I don't see you dodging the issue either :)

 

[riclapaz]

Yes, but these are different hormones. If you've read Cupid's Poisoned Arrow, the hormones that are released whith bonding behaviours are different than the hormones released in other types of encounters.

I think that Neil and Menna are right here. We aren't yet on the spot where we can say we know what true love is, as love is not just something that feels good, I think it is more like a state of consciousness, awareness and BEing that requires unity of self and previous Work.

But I guess we can experience glimpses of what that is in the ways you described Miss K. (love of knowledge, wanting to know more because we love someone, or others, etc...), but even that can be programs running, so, it is very important to keep ourselves "down on earth" so to say and remember that love, in the terms that you describe it, depends on our level of BEing and therefore, it requires that we work on our BEing. OSIT

While reading what Yas mentioned, I remembered something that relates to this idea in the book "Bringers of the Dawn", extracts here I think that amplify the idea:

[quote author= "Bringers of the Dawn" ]

If you're stuck on the idea of ​​love and you fail to understand what is happening to him, the problem is that we're looking outside yourself. You are looking for someone else to give meaning to your life and validate. If you're not that person, you get angry or feel worthless.

This is a model with which you grew up, where your parents and your society showed you. We have said time and again that the most important thing you can do is love yourself and honor Earth. But do not do more than I forget and find another relationship that makes you feel complete and whole. Think without a relationship are less than an acceptable citizen.

You feel alone. You have to learn to be alone. Loneliness is just a state of mind. You are never, ever alone. There are multitudes of entities around you. If you could stop feeling sorry for yourself, you would find that much information constantly sends you'd be alone to spend time receiving the contact.

When you love yourself and stop being upset by the need to have someone who loves you, then you are able to accept what anyone offers. Values ​​is imperative that you do not settle for a love disguised. If you decide to dating or vibrate with someone and not get what you want, do not complain or refunfuñes nor will you pout that person to change according to your needs.

If you set a value for yourself and not believe, then limit yourself to change your reality and continues only until you find someone who reflects your worth. Meanwhile, vibrating with love for yourself, hónrate, and understands that this trip is the discovery of self in relationships with others. It is not only husbands and wives.

On this trip it is about honoring your physical body and the uniqueness of the self while playing the lives of many. Allow always work with me and let him evolve.

All of you are afraid of intimacy with yourself; to be alone with me. Once you have developed privacy, a silence, a love for yourself, your energy containment, then want your intimacy with another person has that quality.

 

[Thaigrr]

Yes, but these are different hormones. If you've read Cupid's Poisoned Arrow, the hormones that are released whith bonding behaviours are different than the hormones released in other types of encounters.

I think that Neil and Menna are right here. We aren't yet on the spot where we can say we know what true love is, as love is not just something that feels good, I think it is more like a state of consciousness, awareness and BEing that requires unity of self and previous Work.

But I guess we can experience glimpses of what that is in the ways you described Miss K. (love of knowledge, wanting to know more because we love someone, or others, etc...), but even that can be programs running, so, it is very important to keep ourselves "down on earth" so to say and remember that love, in the terms that you describe it, depends on our level of BEing and therefore, it requires that we work on our BEing. OSIT

While reading what Yas mentioned, I remembered something that relates to this idea in the book "Bringers of the Dawn", extracts here I think that amplify the idea:

[quote author= "Bringers of the Dawn" ]

If you're stuck on the idea of ​​love and you fail to understand what is happening to him, the problem is that we're looking outside yourself. You are looking for someone else to give meaning to your life and validate. If you're not that person, you get angry or feel worthless.

This is a model with which you grew up, where your parents and your society showed you. We have said time and again that the most important thing you can do is love yourself and honor Earth. But do not do more than I forget and find another relationship that makes you feel complete and whole. Think without a relationship are less than an acceptable citizen.

You feel alone. You have to learn to be alone. Loneliness is just a state of mind. You are never, ever alone. There are multitudes of entities around you. If you could stop feeling sorry for yourself, you would find that much information constantly sends you'd be alone to spend time receiving the contact.

When you love yourself and stop being upset by the need to have someone who loves you, then you are able to accept what anyone offers. Values ​​is imperative that you do not settle for a love disguised. If you decide to dating or vibrate with someone and not get what you want, do not complain or refunfuñes nor will you pout that person to change according to your needs.

If you set a value for yourself and not believe, then limit yourself to change your reality and continues only until you find someone who reflects your worth. Meanwhile, vibrating with love for yourself, hónrate, and understands that this trip is the discovery of self in relationships with others. It is not only husbands and wives.

On this trip it is about honoring your physical body and the uniqueness of the self while playing the lives of many. Allow always work with me and let him evolve.

All of you are afraid of intimacy with yourself; to be alone with me. Once you have developed privacy, a silence, a love for yourself, your energy containment, then want your intimacy with another person has that quality.

[/quote]

Quote:

"Once you have developed privacy, a silence, a love for yourself, your energy containment, then want your intimacy with another person has that quality"

Like attracts like perhaps?

Edit=Quote

 

[BHelmet]

God, I have to say this is a depressing thread.

Hi. A lot of people have said a lot of great things on this topic. Thank you all.

Isn't 'depressing' or 'loser/failure' just another set of stimuli/hormonal/bio-chem triggered emotions? (Also triggered by thoughts and expectations. "I should be in a relationship. I must be unlovable. My friends are having all the fun." etc whatever etc etc) I mean, there are a ton of emotions not really any different than the 'love' hook in the sense that it is all mechanical. I mean, you can't just stop an emotion from happening. It happens and we experience/feel it. THEN comes our story about it. (and then if we are awake, we realize we are observing a machine. Oh my )

I am thinking it is good to keep in perspective that the emotional center is constantly bombarded with stimuli. We just attach more significance to the love aspect since it is usually such an intimate part of our identity (false personality?). So, I kind of see a key part of this as an emotional center issue. It is not just about love.

Life gives us so many opportunities to step outside the machine. To observe the machine. To BE. And everything you are telling yourself may just be the machine talking! (Of course, I don't really know, but it has to be considered.) So it is like "Wait - things aren't that bad...they are actually WAY WORSE!!" (dark humor)

And certainly the infatuation stage (all those 'love' chemicals) does pass and that is when the real work of love kicks in. And yeah I can hear the C's whispering "all a nice idea of 4D STS" in my ear as I write this.

On another sub-thread, there is no static state, in this life, that I can claim I constantly am in. My bodies are fluxing in and out of 'love', and awareness, and mechanicalness/unconsciousness. I guess there is this thought we should not ever 'fall off the horse', but the key trick is to accept this and then see how fast you can get back up on the horse, so to speak. OSIT

Oh yeah, it also strikes me that acceptance is a big factor. Like, hey - this IS the way it is with human machines. Why make it wrong? It is what we have to work with. We should be thankful for our broken machines and the possibility of awakening they allow us. And, of course, I forget this all the time.

 

[Miss.K]

Life gives us so many opportunities to step outside the machine. To observe the machine. To BE. And everything you are telling yourself may just be the machine talking! (Of course, I don't really know, but it has to be considered.) So it is like "Wait - things aren't that bad...they are actually WAY WORSE!!" (dark humor)

Yes, I think it is hard to make rules about what to do and not to do, as anything can be abused.

Right now for example, I should call the phone company to move the line, and I so dread doing it, as I really hate talking to them and am still traumatized from the last time I had to talk to them.
So even though reading very interesting and valuable things on this forum is in the "good" category, I'm catching myself using it to avoid thinking about or doing the calling the phone company.

And so the "good" is used for avoidance, which is "bad"

Of cause now that I've seen it, I can't do it anymore, and have to deny myself more forum reading until I have called the phone company..(honesty with self sucks!)

 

[luke wilson]

I suppose its the discomfort that's uncomfortable if that makes sense. Its not loneliness. Its the effect created from the contrast to your peers. 90%-95% of the time I don't feel lonely and the loneliness I do feel, when I feel it, is mostly created by lack of aim or meaning in life. Its created in those moments your life feels hollow. The other time it is felt is when you are alone in a room full of people who are together. You know, when you are the odd wheel.

Anyways, back to the whole discomfort thing, another example is lets say at work, if your peers get a raise and you don't or if they get a promotion and you don't. You feel this discomfort from the contrast between them and you. Or I don't know of you ever had this, on the last day at school, everyone leaves and you are the last. In that moment when you are alone in a deserted place that was not to long ago full of life and excitement of people waiting to be picked up, talking about upcoming vacations etc. I don't know if that makes sense.

Its discomfort, that feeling, like a nagging feeling, its making peace with that feeling. But by definition, its a feeling of discomfort, that's how it feels. How can you make peace with something that holds that definition, unless you transform it to hold a different definition. That's the problem. Do you change the external environment so you are somewhere where that feeling is neutralized, do you numb your feeling center so you simply don't feel the feeling itself. What do you do?

I mean, people who have physical discomfort take painkillers, take medicine or remedies, if not any of that, they complain all the time, maybe sulk etc. Its rare to find one who is at peace with that state. Unlike the physical plane, in the emotional plane, it feels, from reading extracts from books like bringers of the dawn as posted above, that you have to really work on yourself, take ownership of that state, transform it and in the process transform yourself and your personal relationship with yourself in that state. Its a big ask! It seems god forsakenly unfair as it's the only viable transformative option on the table. All other options seems like dodging the issue e.g. numb feelings, constantly change environment etc. Whoever designs such inescapable situations has got to be the biggest douchebag this side of the galaxy. What an absolute tool! Bloody designed the game in such a way that you cant escape the godforsaken big ask! I believe they call that checkmate. What an absolute alien! You would think you have a choice, but its designed in such a way that what appear choices turn out to be anything but, just mirrors of illusion. Whoever designed this whole thing has got to be supremely sadistic. I refuse to believe it just popped into existence, in the form it did, all by itself, spontaneously, randomly. It feels like being subjected to a dictatorship, to a formidable tyrant, one that you can't even see but nonetheless can feel the weight of there rule and dictatorship. Grade A tool! :D

Anyway, yeah, on a serious note, it sucks... well its not comfortable.

 

[Jodi]

Grade A tool indeed, my friend. I slammed my hand in the front door coming back from a movie I took my kid to. I held up the promise and we had girls night and I was Grade A mom. Now I'm in pain and bleeding and my knuckle is screaming. It's hard not to feel like no deed goes unpunished.

And , Miss K... I've dome it a thousand times. Blown off something I needed to do by doing something AI enjoy and consider much more important. Then I feel even lamer for calling when the problem occurred 2 weeks ago and I'm just getting to it. I can't stand having to deal with an issue that shouldn't exist in the first place. Just paid the phone company $92 to tell me AI had the phone plugged in wrong. Talk about feeling like an inept moron! And to boot, they were supposed to come on a Tues, 8am to 9pm was the window. They showed up on Monday and I didn't have make up on and was filthy, unprepared, painting the kitchen, house a mess. Hard not to feel like somewhere someone is watching and laughing!,

Luke... I think I feel like what you described late at night when Ichear a car go by. So alone and like I missed the boat or something . The sound of that lone car breaks my heart.

Can we change all of this? Yes. But it's hard work and it's so easy to fall back in. The cards seem stacked. And maybe it's just proof that God couldn't have created our world. And for what it's worth, I'm sorry it's not easier! <3

 

[mrelectric91]

Seems like the thread has taken a slightly negative tone. However you have to keep on flowing, just always be moving, trying, thinking. In the end think of it as your task to make super efforts, in all areas.

 

[Neil]

Oh, you just had to bring the whole film concept into it Luke, actually compelled me to go look it up. I picked out a few excerpts from Mouravieff which talk about finding partners from a Work perspective. First a little excerpt about love.

The nature of love cannot be precisely defined in scientific language. We can only judge from its known manifestations. St Paul gives us an objective and complete description of it in the following lines:

Love is patient and full of kindness, envies not, does not flaunt itself, is not puffed up with pride, does nothing dishonest, does not seek its own, is not easily provoked, thinks no evil, does not rejoice in in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth, bares all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things.

These are the manifestations of Love, that is, of true objective love. By reversing the terms of St Pauls formula one may recognize without any difficulty the manifestations of negative emotions like jealousy, that sentiment of ownership that is stretched to include the one who qualifies as the "beloved." Thus when one says "I love you and, since I love, you should do whatever I please," it is obvious there is no question of love here, but something entirely different.

However, to know love in itself one must feel it-must live it. And one cannot feel it except in confluence with it.

We must never lose sight of this reality: Love, being of the Divine essence, reveals an absolute power in its manifestations. The result is that one cannot command love any more than one can forbid love. We know this in our heart of hearts, whatever we may say and however we may plead for ourselves or moralize for others.

[...]

However love always remains the aim of life, even for someone who is ignorant, according to the Apostle's expression, one who does not participate in this Work. Better still, love is the aim of life on the whole cosmic scale, right down to the most primitive organisms

A caveat should be added here that Mouravieff is abysmally ignorant of conscious evil/heavy duty STS, which expresses a form of self love that is a twisted caricature of what he has described here. While such entities may be fulfilling the love of the Absolute I in some semi-unconscious way, the thought center which they express is more akin to what we understand as hatred and cruelty. Anyway, he goes on to explain the different types of love, roughly falling into carnal, mental and spiritual categories. He says a trap is laid for the polar couples by the Absoulte III/General Law which basically amounts to confusing love with sex.

Even when it is unconscious, the mutual attraction of polar beings is strong, and when they become conscious of it, it is enormous. Then, the General Law intervenes and immediately lays a trap for them. Wonderstruck by their love, they insensibly let themselves get caught in this trap and always, of their own free will and with the blessings of the Absolute III, they become lovers without caring too much about the consequences of their act. For those who are caught in this pitfall, the situation creates problems which, if not insoluble, are certainly difficult to resolve.

We have said over and over again and will now repeat that polar beings are bound to meet at least once in their lives. But this encounter takes place in very different circumstances which are precisely determined by the nature and weight of their karmic load. This latter is an old burden with which they are born, which is applied to the present film, multiplied by that which the two partners have accumulated in their present life before their encounter. Also, from the time they meet, by falling into the trap laid for them by the General Law, the polar beings create a new common karmic burden which is then added to the preceding ones. They act in this way, instead of trying, through joint conscious efforts, to progressively liquidate the old burdens until they are free at last and able to unite forever in the conditions required for the union of polar beings.

These conditions are rigorous and hard. For them, if they really are polar beings, this is the passage for them from the free romance to their singular romance.

In the domain of free romance the partners think seriously of nothing apart from their desire to be united, everything is subordinated to this imperative desire that is intensified by the will of the Absolute III. So much of this so that when one or even both of them are already bound elsewhere at the time of their meeting, they overlook it. In order to calm their consciences in this classic situation, they find its justification in their so-called "great love."

Whether the formula is husband-wife-lover or wife-husband-mistress both at the same time, or still more complex cases, the result is always identical: with this this "great love" they either commit themselves to the path of the wholesale lie, or else, which is even worse-they shut themselves up in a cold cynicism. Or lastly, they break the links which unite them with their family, their partner, and their children by imposing their will violently.

All of these actions invariably lead to more or less rapid exhaustion of the original force of their love. Apart from lying to others, they also begin to lie to themselves.

Love is the divine expression of the Truth; the introduction of the lie ruins the happiness of the lovers. Their Love gives them a certain amount of credit, but this credit is short-lived. A honeymoon lasts only a month!

So the clincher is there can be no lies in a relationship. The motives and sacrifices behind the union need to be cleared up at the beginning. He talks about how being in an existing relationship with the wrong person complicates the "meant to be" relationship, and I wonder if what Mouravieff is trying to get at with all of his abstract verbalizing is that the illusions generated by the mating program is tantamount to drinking the poison arrow cocktail and falling into all of the lies that come with it by basically not relegating sex to its proper place. It seems Laura already quoted all of this somewhere in one of her books and I'm just retyping her work, but I can't remember exactly where. Anyway, continuing...

For polar beings, to fall into this trap is equivalent to a capitulation of consciousness; a shameful capitulation without any attempt to resist the General Law.

Even if the couple is composed of truly polar beings, if the lovers do not adhere to the supreme conditions demanded by Love, once their credit is exhausted, Love disappears.

The sequel is well-known: one finds oneself left with the broken pieces. This is the destiny of the free romance, whether it is crowned by marriage or not, and even, we repeat, in the case of polar beings, if the gravity of their situation escapes them.

This is the experience that life offers us if we have the courage to see things as they are. Classic and modern literature provide us with proof of this. From the angle of the A influences this situation is only too normal. Everything comes to an end, and one says to oneself: "Polar Beings? It is wonderful, of course, but only for day-dreamers!" And one buries oneself in the mire.

Yet the Love of polar beings is the only reality in life. They can and should sacrifice everything to attain this union in the purity and dignity of the Androgynous state.

But we must be careful: they should sacrifice everything which is theirs. For if, esoterically speaking, man has the right to make sacrifices, he has no right to accept them. An agreed sacrifice abolishes karma, a sacrifice that is accepted multiplies it.

So in that section, we sort of have the concept of giving all in advance, which is made by each partner separately and completely of their own choice, which is the only way to make it valid. So that's a summary of Mouravieff's interpretation of how this higher level STO concept of love can be brought down to the human level and how it should be carried out. The next excerpt talks about how people interact in the film, and explains a little bit about how some of the situations spoke of above occur. In this chapter, he starts out by talking about how the circular film is transformed into a spiral film when the soul acquires something of a will and an aim which I summarized in the other thread. Skipping straight to the meat of the matter:

We should know that, at the end of a spiral, a comparison is made between the film as it was conceived at the time of birth and what it became at the time of death. The balance sheet between these two states is drawn up, as in accounting, by listing assets and liabilities, followed by a profit and loss account. This will show the result of the elapsed life objectively. The balance sheet furnishes the basic elements for composing the film at the start of the following spiral. If we could avoid all errors and complications in this new experience, produced as a result of free movements, esoteric evolution would then occur in a harmonious rising curve. Generally, this is not the case. As we have just said, man most often comes to the idea of evolution after he has already complicated the film to which he belongs. But true evolution cannot occur except on the basis of the original film-after all artificially added elements have been eliminated. The latter is conditional on a return to the purity of the centers, especially the emotional center-which at least at the start- is the sole receptacle of the B influences and the seat of the magnetic center. The heart must already be pure, and if not pure, it must be purified.

So here he is talking of the "karmic lesson profile" you create in 5D where there are certain situations in your life which you must encounter and learn the lessons. Mouravieff believes that your polar being is part of your film, and meant to appear at a certain time, it's not really something you consciously control.

On the basis of the preceding analysis, the essential data for the film of any ordinary person can be described as follows: as the hero of the romance of his own life, the subject must necessarily be the star of the film. But he can also play a minor role in the film of people who play a secondary role in his own film. In this way, each film gets enmeshed in other films, where the same people are found in totally different situations. One must also distinguish between the two categories of actors. The first are really part of the cast. A definite role is assigned to them: they are organically tied to the film. The second group only appear by accident in the film, drawn into the action by the free movement of the hero. This complexity is further increased because some of the actors who have genuine parts in the film play their roles badly, while others play roles which are not their own. Situations like this are widespread. Let us examine this phenomenon in more detail.

The human personality, as we know, is an organism with multiple parts or facets: 987 to be exact. In the ideal case, only realized by polar beings, and only effective from the esoteric point of view, the 987 facets of man and woman are strictly polar. These are the predestined husband and wife whose union will create a true couple. However, the cast contains other people, who play roles organically tied to the hero, and who are necessary to bring the film in its ensemble to its natural end. These are friend-souls, brother-souls, sister-souls, collaborating-souls, and servant-souls etc. The personalities of each of them have a certain number of facets identical to those of the hero, for actors of the same sex, while for actors of the opposite sex, they are polar. In the case of brothers and sisters, the number of identical or polar facets can be as many as half or even more. The lack of discernment and of sincerity towards ourselves, the innate desire to find the perfect resonance to the vibration of our soul, and the impatience that follows, all multiplied by the action of the General Law, induce us all too often to contract unions which can only result in absurd situations. Instead of resisting the mirage, instead of waiting and seeking, we slip into imperfect unions, which are a source of suffering both for the partners and their children. In addition, those unions alter the meaning of the film in its ensemble, and so corrupt the personal lives of all the actors in the drama. Lastly, the esoteric results foreseen in the initial composition of the film are gravely compromised.

Our lives very often resemble a well conceived theater play in which the roles are upset by a person searching for an absurdity; each of us is this mischievous or comic being.

It is a result of considering on the matrimonial plane, or through lack of consideration on the purely sexual, that most of our errors are committed, including those which demand the heaviest payment. Even beings of good faith are not exempt from error. To confuse a brother or a sister for husband or wife compounds an already very complicated situation, especially from the esoteric point of view. The situation is all the more confused when children are born from such unions.

Life then takes on the character of a perpetual compromise with oneself. The moral and physical health of "accidentally united couples" suffers: with changes in the intellectual center due to cheating an lying: heart disease if the emotional center is sensitive and still aspires to the truth; also diseases of obscure origin, of which cancer is one that attacks the body in its most fragile parts. In every case, the condition necessarily leads to the premature loss of fine energies which, in turn, bring on accelerated aging and lead to premature death.

Difficult as these situations are that arise out of our errors, they must not prevent anyone who throws himself into esoteric work from finding the courage to look them in the face, and to search for a satisfactory outcome. If the Devil-the General Law-tries to lead us into new errors to obstruct our esoteric evolution, the supporting hand of the Lord, gentle yet firm, is always stretched out to help us. Yet our minds, too rational and too realistic, often stop us from sensing this help.

We have already indicated the form of a just and objective solution to the problems that face us when a situation has been entangled by our errors: the Gordian knots must not be cut, they must be untied in such a way that the participants, both tied by the same knot, feel only relief at the disappearance of a situation which was simply a source of suffering for both.

If the situation is truly resolved, to the benefit of all those originally concerned, the original meaning of the film and its normal development can be found.

Whew! So if you navigate that minefield blindfolded and in the dark, you might just find your polar being. My God, it is a jungle out there. Better forget about looking for a partner, best to just wait and see.

Mouravieff spends quite a lot of time on polar beings, and while I don't think it's something he just made up, a lot of the information seems factual as far as I can tell, I wonder how much of it he had to "improvise," since he's the only one who really talks about it. I wonder how integral this polar opposite business is to the Work, even though it sounds nice if you could ever participate in it. If your aim is to meet "The One," then I guess it's fairly important. What if your aim is just to know yourself and become master of your machine? Do these two aims generally complement each other? A rhetorical question.