GqSoul
Jedi
Yes, it makes absolute sense. That wasn't my understanding when I asked, but I also had not taken the time to reacquaint myself with the particulars as I could have. Thanks.
FOTCM Small Business Loan/Support
- Thread starter GqSoul
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Yes, it makes absolute sense. That wasn't my understanding when I asked, but I also had not taken the time to reacquaint myself with the particulars as I could have. Thanks.
GqSoul.
From what I have read in your posts here and another thread, I realise that you should get back on track towards "the work" and our goals in this forum. I mean, trying hard to help others without asking anything in return.
I wonder whether you have read carefully the forum guidelines or some of the recommended books? I think that's a good way to start.
Also, like others have suggested, through actively participating in this forum you can give and receive feedback, BUT It is not only about you.
From what I have read in your posts here and another thread, I realise that you should get back on track towards "the work" and our goals in this forum. I mean, trying hard to help others without asking anything in return.
I wonder whether you have read carefully the forum guidelines or some of the recommended books? I think that's a good way to start.
Also, like others have suggested, through actively participating in this forum you can give and receive feedback, BUT It is not only about you.
GqSoul
Jedi
Thank you Jhonny. I downloaded the statement of principles yesterday to study again, realizing that I've been disconnected. I do want to give without expecting or asking.
Recently, I felt myself in crisis and acted selfishly. I want to make sure it doesn't happen again.
That is the point. Take action, start applying what you are learning from the feedback giving here. Start reading, It doesn't matter how long does it take to catch up, fwiw
Hi GqSoul. I am curious - what was the business idea you had in mind? Perhaps, you could share with the rest of us what the money is for.
This could help you clarify the thoughts before applying for a loan at the local bank. Do you need help with a business plan?
This could help you clarify the thoughts before applying for a loan at the local bank. Do you need help with a business plan?
GqSoul
Jedi
Thanks for offering to help, but the business plan and loan aren't really the root problem. I've been reconnecting here to help get at those issues. When I made the initial inquiry, I was in a panicked state; a large contract that I was counting on fell through at the last moment. Not having it meant the difference between being able to build towards financial stability for my family versus facing eviction.
When we set out on the business venture, I didn't do what I could have to ensure a sufficient buffer to absorb those kinds of losses and I put my family in a compromised position. So now in the aftermath, I'm working to identify and address the patterns that led me here so I can avoid them in the future.
You might check out Dave Ramsey on youtube or his financial courses on CDs. He has a Christian background, and applies it in his program, but don't let that get in the way. I think it actually provides value to the way he looks at finances. He looks mostly at personal finances, but it easily extends to the running of a business too.
Here's the video that got me into his material:
Matthew
Jedi Master
I am watching this now. I love how he goes from the preppy, positive welcome to the caller to the blunt, down to earth and real approach
. I had issues with debt myself after my Breakdown so I would not wish that on anyone but the debts this couple have to deal with is terrifying to contemplate. It is making me anxious just watching this! I hope they take his advice and get their acts together!
I am watching this now. I love how he goes from the preppy, positive welcome to the caller to the blunt, down to earth and real approach
He's said in the past that he used to hammer everyone equally hard when he first started, but now he goes adjusts based on where the person is at. In any case, I like how he uses "shocks to the system" so people can "crush" the things inside us all that have essentially created chaos. It's pretty much the same way the Work is done here. Use harsh but needed truths to look at how our narcissism/ self importance/ self image has been destructive to our lives.
Matthew
Jedi Master
That's interesting. I wonder if he was projecting initially given how he had his own issues with debt? In any case, the lady in the video you linked certainly needed that shock to the system! It was almost painful to hear the change in her voice when he started laying into her. I hope the couple concerned really get the message. I lived with debt for years until I finally cleared it. I lived that meagre lifestyle he spoke of. It was tough but once I adjusted it was fine. It's amazing how simply and humbly one may live if one has to.
Yep, Ramsey really laid into her (and him), and deservedly so, but he managed to sprinkle some backhanded encouragement and even a little humor into his talk. Leaving her a quivering mass on the floor wouldn't have done any good. So some quick practical moves (sell the condo, possible one car), the hint that a second job would be good. It sounded like he was giving them a quick overview, but since it sounded like they had signed up for his program, they would be getting more detailed advice later on. I liked that he encouraged them to look at the situation as a way of improving both their relationship and themselves as people. It's a higher goal than just getting out of debt. Hope they make it.
Wow, I really liked his approach. I don't think it was too harsh at all, it really needed to be said and that couple needed a wake up call. You could kinda see her trying to minimize the situation a bit by splitting the amounts up when he faced her with the total amount of their personal debt, but really that amount was just crazy!
He said they would live a minimal lifestyle for about 3 years, which isn't that long a time. I'm sure, GqSoul , that you could apply the same technique to your own life and get yourself out of the situation you are in now.
Maybe you could sit down and write out all of your spending so you can be faced with the full amount for your own household and give yourself a shock like the lady in the video.
He said they would live a minimal lifestyle for about 3 years, which isn't that long a time. I'm sure, GqSoul , that you could apply the same technique to your own life and get yourself out of the situation you are in now.
Maybe you could sit down and write out all of your spending so you can be faced with the full amount for your own household and give yourself a shock like the lady in the video.
Matthew
Jedi Master
I lived a meagre lifestyle for about ten years so it's entirely possible. I don't exactly live high on the hog now. I have a roof over my head, clothes on my back and enough money to buy food for my belly and enough money coming in regularly to pay my rent and utility bills. I treat myself to the odd non-essential item but otherwise, I live very simply. I like it like this. I enjoy the simple gifts of life: the feel of sunshine on my skin, the caress of the breeze, the waft of fresh air from an open window, the affection from my two baby boys (cats) and so on. Being mega-rich would freak me out. Living simply suits me far better. Having said that, however, living under the pressure of debt is no fun and I would not wish that on anyone!
GqSoul
Jedi
If you hadn't suggested it, I probably wouldn't have checked Ramsey out on my own, so thanks for that. I've been aware of him but never followed any of his stuff. The approach of his program is similar to something we did early in our relationship. It really helped to build some good habits, but I think the "shock and awe" of his approach is what I need now to tighten things up.
We're naturally inclined to live very frugally, so that helps. The liability I'm trying to work out is avoiding overestimating myself when considering pivotal financial decisions. Maybe moreso, considering the potential impact on those that depend on me rather than basing decisions on my own risk tolerance.
I brought some irresponsible debt into our marriage, but it was fairly easy to set right and I learned a lot from my wife's financial responsibility and habits. The root (or a principal one anyway) issue that has destabilized us financially is that I made a decision to leave a stable career, because of the struggle to reconcile the world of sales, "influence" and doing business in the STS realm without being contaminated or drifting into confluence with it.
This is still something I hope to work through here with greater clarity, but I've recognized the following about that past decision:
-I didn't plan a feasible exit strategy
-Once I jumped ship, I didn't immediately appreciate the REALITY of where my decision could lead, in the worst case scenario. If I had, it still would have been early enough to adopt a certain strategy.
-Part (most/all?) of why I left had much more to do with my own developmental challenges vs the STS/STO conceptualization that I used to justify jumping into my own virtual reality. I was escaping the lesson, and likely the best environment, to build up and sharpen myself. This wasn't clear to me immediately, or I wilfully ignored it.
So even though we manage money well in terms of our spending habits, my "well intentioned" persistence in delusion, misconceptualizations/errors in thinking about the work, and inattention to personal growth deficiencies compounded an already risky and precarious position. The margin for error was already razor thin.
I think it's well and good to run a business, but I've learned that the personal habits, psychological health and spiritual "hygiene" of the CEO is much more important than the business plan, branding, sales and marketing strategy. It's clear where I need to grow on that spectrum in order to best serve my family.
There are others here that excel as entrepreneurs, doubtlessly. That may well be in the cards for me some years hence, and I'll try to learn and share what I can along the way. For now, I'm blessed to have a hard decision between three job offers that will position me to right the ship and head True North.
So I've gone back in time, back to the environment that I left, but I can only make better decisions and avoid reliving the old cycle by learning to see and think through participating in this network.
Happy to hear that you have options - not a given in our economic world. And for your insight, too!
