Guidance with moving on

Horrible, such a horrible, stupid, f*cked up thing that happened, I am heartbroken that you had to witness that and so sorry for your loss... ❤️ I hope your girlfriend can move in with you asap, it is not a good thing to be alone so soon after such a tragedy and especially not in the very house that it all happened! Why are you moving in there? Isn't there another option, financially manageable, that would allow you to live somewhere else, with your girlfriend, at least for a couple of months?
 
I respect your fate, Ghazi18, and am glad that you have such good people around you who extend a helping hand to you.
Nevertheless, I agree with others who suggest that you seek grief and trauma counseling from a professional because you are in the midst of a tragedy.
In the meantime, please use this forum and stay in touch.

A big hug and stay tuned.
 
I am so sorry to hear this very sad news Ghazi18. This is a terrible shock and totally heartbreaking. As others have said, it will take time to grieve and process this tragedy. Be gentle with yourself and maybe for the time being just take things one day at a time, and know that we are all here to help. My sincere condolences to you. :hug2:
 
Ghazi18, I know these words don't help but I too am deeply sorry and heartbroken for you and your family. The trauma and shock of these events and the loss that is felt will take much time to process and to begin the healing journey will be something you have to work at. I can tell you that it's like a rollercoaster at times and at some point depending on the situation and the people you are around, you may go through all the emotions several times. Some days you may experience them all, even if they may feel inappropriate such as laughter if you happen to recall a funny story from years ago. Even if at the moment you don't feel much, there will be a time when things hit you at the most unexpected moments and when it happened to me I just had to go with it until the moment passed.

I have learned that with losses of this kind, that are swift and breathtakingly painful, rebuilding a life may seem monumental but things may open up in there due time. My understanding on going forward with positivity would be to go forward knowing that things will never be the way they were before and even if others around you would like for you to return to some kind of normal sooner than later, I hope you know it's okay not to return to their version of normal. Taking care of yourself and letting this rollercoaster run it course, no matter the time it takes may be the most important thing you can do for yourself and future. IMHO. Again I am so deeply sorry for everything you've gone through...:hug2:

Added: It may seem odd but also helping others even with the smallest things may help in processing all the emotions and give you a sense of trying to right the wrongs that you may feel have happened. I know it helped me...
 
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What a terrible experience Ghazi! My deepest condolences to you.

I agree that you might be in shock still. So, even though you really want to look at it as positively as possible and learn from it, part of that learning is to allow yourself to grief and process such an experience. Take your time for that, don't rush it. Take care of yourself and feel free to share more about how you feel. For this, a counselor would be very good indeed.
 
I am very sorry for your loss Ghazi18. I can't imagine how it must have been like to first hear that this had happened to you but I gather it is taking a huge toll on you too, emotionally. Please take care and stay in touch with friends, family and the forum. :hug2:
 
Ach Ghazi18 what a horrible thing that happened, i am so sorry... I agree with others that it might be wise to take all the time you need, all the time it takes to process this and allow yourself to grieve in any way you need to. From my experience, i can tell you that i also wanted the somehow abstract grieving process to be over with as fast as possible, don't let myself feel the pain, force myself to only focus on moving forward. However, that proved an unwise strategy and at a later stage it caught up with me of course. At the time i really wanted to be "strong" and "tough" only to realize (learn) later that to be strong means very much to allow yourself to be vulnerable, to self and to others. To be able to actually say to yourself out loud (and to others), yes, i feel pain and hurt (i am not in control) and i am out of my wits about the situation and that it is okay to allow yourself to feel these types of emotions without any judgment eventually led to allowing myself to heal. Also crying is cleansing i found. I think for me that meant being gentle for myself.

I just wanted to add that what also helped me very much was to just sit and allow myself to feel where in my body i could feel specific emotions, aches and pains, strange vibrations etc. and while just sitting in a mild meditative state, images and such came up in my mind connecting an ache in a specific body part to a specific situation. By doing this regularly i came to deep insights about the relationships concerned, my role in them etc. and so over time, by allowing the body to speak so to say and me to listen in a sort of symbiosis i was ready and able to release hurt, pain etc. and be at peace with it. So, getting more in touch with the body and my emotions and by reading tons of material about it and thinking about it to gain a better understanding of identifying a lesson and its meaning and how to grow from it moving forward to a better and more complete version of self.
Happy that you have a support system there, I wish you all the love, strength, courage and wisdom to get through this. :flowers:
 
Very very bad news, I'm sorry to hear this man. You must be probably in a serious depression right now. Unfortunately, all you can do now is just acknowledge this situation, accept and move on. You have to continue living as now you are the only proof of their existence and their essences/memories/goals live within you know.

Remember, the Cs once said that most of the depressions are caused by people only focusing on their own problems therefore putting yourself into mental cage. It is very important you interact safely with the world around with maximum awareness. Because right now you are most vulnerable to negative energies/entities and they will try to get you through all of your weaknesses. Steel up man! Everyone knows you are better than this! :thup:
 
I sincerely believe that you can overcome this. It's okay to grief, take time. But please never let your guard down.

I believe your parents don't want to become the reason for your downfall. If you want to honour their deaths and memories, the only way you can do it is by living and having happy life.🥰
 
So sorry for your losses Ghazi18, and such strong experience, to find a safe place and people that can offer emotional support can be really necessary for process your current situation.
So sorry, maybe cry all you need can help to release pressure.
May the light and protection accompany you, big hug.
 
My condolences Ghazie18. Even if you have understood that your parents' relationship was a bad one, it's still horrible to have it end that way. You've received a lot of good advice already, which I hope you apply in the best way for you. Everyone grieves differently, but the important thing is to allow yourself to grieve. The one thing to avoid is blaming yourself. Their choices and destiny were their own, sad as it is. Please keep posting as you are able. You have support here.
 
The scene you came upon is indeed a tragic thing to see. And once seen, you cannot un-see. When those images come into your mind, try not to dwell on them, just look, then let them pass on through. Death of parents is sad for most people, and the way your folks died makes it even harder to bear. Don't rush through the grieving process. Take whatever time you need. It is good to hear that you have people who are helping you through this time. If not already done, I would suggest having the room professionally cleaned. Once you are back in the house, you can rearrange things to suit your needs. Take care. My sincere condolences.
 
I was shocked to read this Ghazi18 and o am so very sorry you've had experience this loss in such an horrific way.
I Cannot begin to imagine what your going through but hang in there and take your time.
Do not rush and try and be honest with yourself on how you feel.
Please don't hesitate to share here when you need to talk as I imagine you have so much to process and it's very early days in your grieving process.
Also if you have the funds I would talk to A professional when you feel ready. :hug2:
 
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