Guidance with moving on

I am so sorry to read of your tragedy. I'd like to say I can't imagine your grief, but I can as there was a murder-suicide in my family about 15 years ago (cousins), which a bit later lead to the suicide of the father (an uncle who was my age). I can tell you it will be a long time to process this and the effects of such can be long lasting. So please, when the dust settles, consider working with a gifted therapist. There are some very good ones out there.
If this issue should arise, know this: PTSD seems to be about the trauma associated adrenaline, from what I have studied (and experienced).
I read a story a while back about beta blockers being used in a study to prevent PTSD in military members that have just experienced traumatic events. Since then, I've not been able to find the article. At any rate (and not to minimize things) sometimes just knowing it is the effects of adrenaline can help get one through some of the suffering.
I'm very glad to hear you have the place open to you again, very affordably, so you can complete your studies. Also glad to hear you are surrounded by a supportive family.
I agree with some others here who have advised you not to make important, life altering decisions right now.
I wish you the very best in this difficult time.
Please stay in touch with us.
 
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Ghazi18 said:
I would like to ask for some guidance on how to best manage living alone and if theres anything I could do to change the energy at my house.
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From my extensive experience with living alone, I'd say the most important thing is to keep yourself busy. The moment you have nothing to 'do', you start 'thinking' and going crazy. Doesn't really matter what you're busy with. Just keep your mind occupied with something.

From the little information you've given about your situation, it seems like your strongest anchor point is your girlfriend, so if possible, be with her and not alone. I think that will make the most difference.

Staying in that house where it happened will be challenging, and I'm not sure you can do much to 'change the energy' at the house, so I'd stay away from the house for a while, if possible, and maybe think about living with your girlfriend somewhere else in the near future. It's not gonna be easy spending your time in that house, especially early on. But you may not have other options, for any number of reasons, so I don't know if this helps.

I certainly wouldn't recommend 'therapy' just because something bad happened, unless you feel a strong need to do that. Therapy is for when you 'can't cope', not a 'normal' way of dealing with life. And therapy was designed by the same system that gave us TV, Big Pharma, and the international covid response. I wouldn't trust it for 2 seconds. Your girlfriend should do a 10 times better job than a therapist, without any professional qualifications.

Judging by your post and your attitude, you seem perfectly capable of handling this without resorting to anything too dramatic. So be with your girlfriend as much as you can, stay away from the house as much as you can (if you have that option), and if you have to be alone, stay busy. It'll keep you going, and you'll be able to slowly process everything along the way. That's my two cents.
 
Gawan said:
This is truly horrible. My deepest condolences for you, Ghazi18. If you need anything, let us know.
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During the sessions Laura always pointed that due to modern society and limited knowledge people don't know 'how to die' so they become ghosts and are just wandering around. What exactly do we have to say to them or what things we have to explain to them so they could leave?
 
I say seek counseling or therapy. There are plenty of qualified therapists who genuinely practice psychotherapy to help people. That's about as traumatizing a situation as a person can imagine. Don't take it lightly.

Condolences.
 
Geez, Ghazi18, my sincere condolences too. When reading your account, I couldn't help by think, like others, that you must be in shock. You sounded so composed... I think I would still be devastated and destroyed after such a short time, not to mention having a heck of a time not being very angry at the perpetrator in spite of understanding where everybody was coming from, etc. But maybe because you knew the history, you had come to accept it, as you say. In any case, I second what others have said about finding a good therapist if you feel the need to, and taking time to process. We are here if you need anything.

If that is your home, then the only thing I would suggest is cleaning the house, decorating it to your taste, rearranging things a bit for you and your girlfried, and doing some salting and burning sage. Just with the intent of cleansing the place and being able to move on. But you will probably need more support than that with the grieving process, and there is no shame to be had in that. You can be a super strong person and still need a support system.

:hug2:
 
I'm so sorry for your loss Ghazi18. What a very sad and intense situation to deal with. I hope you get the help and support you need at this time Ghazi18. You will have a lot of ups and downs in the weeks to come but acceptance will come over time. Don't be too hard on yourself, you are human. I offer any help I can give, and you have great backup here. It will be when everyone goes back to their regular life that it might hit you deep because it's something that will stay with you but acceptance will come over time. Take care Ghazi18.
 
My deepest condolences on the loss of your parents, Ghazi18 :hug2: An immediate family member of mine died by suicide close to seven years ago. A resource that you might find helpful is the Alliance of Hope for suicide loss survivors site. It helped me get through some difficult times. I'd visit the sites forum and read other members posts about what they were going through. I'd realize I wasn't alone in the type of thoughts/feelings I was experiencing. I'd share about the loss here on the forum as well..thankful I had this forum to turn to. Sometimes I'd find it challenging to put into words what it was I was going through. I realize now that my expectations were unrealistic at times..of myself for where I thought I should be in the process..but also, of others. Counseling is not for everyone but I went, and I'm grateful that I had a counselor who specialized in trauma.

In case you may find it helpful here is the link to Alliance of Hope:

allianceofhope.org

Suicide Loss Survivor Experience | Resources | Alliance of Hope

Find information, resources, and support to deal with grief & emotions for your suicide loss survivor experience with Alliance of Hope.
allianceofhope.org allianceofhope.org

The site has added more resources for new survivors. There is a counseling/consultations section, and different consultation options are listed:

allianceofhope.org

Consultations | Alliance of Hope for Suicide Loss Survivors

The loss of a loved one to suicide is a shocking loss. Those closest commonly experience powerful and sometimes conflicting emotions.
allianceofhope.org allianceofhope.org

We are here for you:hug2:
 
I would like to sincerely thank everyone for supporting me and helping me out and giving me advice. For some reason, ever since I read Laura’s work I resonated with it completely and had to join the forum. I am a member of a “Rosicrucian” lodge and very fond of the teachings of the C’s ( both have a lot of similarities). If it wasn’t for this knowledge, I would be in a very dark place and would be completely lost.

I have been in and out of the ranch and have prayed for my mother and my father exactly where I last saw their bodies. For some reason, I feel my mothers love above all else and I just feel so happy that she is finally free as soon as she decided to end things with my father. I don’t hate my father at all even though what he did was cowardly ( in my opinion), especially because he taught me better than that.

I am currently staying at my girlfriends place but I will be moving back to the ranch in a couple of days for a couple of reasons. 1) I am so happy that her family has let me stay in ( and move in if I wanted to) but her mother is very controlling and uses religion as a means to control. I have bought them some groceries and am planning on buying them more food and I am cleaning their backyard as I have 3 dogs and they are making a mess. But, I just don’t like being controlled especially when my girlfriend and I are young adults. She has already told me to not speak about the Bible because I don’t know what I am talking about and has already told my girlfriend not to go to their church because she is unclean ( just because we sleep together). I bought 3 boxes of pizzas for my girls family and her mom had the audacity to tell me that I could’ve gotten a drink as well ( another example). I don’t hate her or anything, I don’t have it in my heart to hate and I try to find a way to get along with anyone. I try to speak about Jesus and the Bible to connect with her but she’s right and I’m wrong. Even her family has already told her that she is acting very unnecessary and I’m just trying to help and cope with the lose but she hasn’t apologized or anything ( sorry for the mini rant guys, I’m just trying to help everyone out and it’s a little hard to love some people sometimes).

2) Housing is very expensive here in Miami and I am on my own. I am currently working full time as a front desk member at a senior health clinic and I will be struggling and living check to check. My girlfriend is waiting to get a full time job but I would atleast have to be engaged to her before she moves in with me at my ranch because of their religious views. There’s much more background to this but I am just trying to simplify it for now.

3) I have my 3 dogs and they are extremely said right now ( as I am) and they went from running around in a 2.5 acre property to a smaller backyard and one of my dogs has already gotten into a dog fight with my girls dog ( both dogs are actually sisters and they are the only ones that have a problem with each other, the mother and father do not have a problem with my girls dog).

Just to list a couple of reasons.

I do know a couple of hypnotherapist and will be in college text with them so I could receive help with this situation. After my mothers viewing, I prayed for her again and I was filled with happiness just knowing that my mom is at peace, I know my father is at peace as well but I was much closer to my mother and I feel her love in my heart. My father is most likely going to take a longer time “sleeping” ( just my guess with the limited knowledge of the afterlife and 5th den that I have).

I do cry from time to time, I was actually crying when I was sleeping alone but my girlfriend joined me and helped me. I am extremely blessed to have her in my life and would never have expected to find such a wonderful and beautiful young lady. She, along with other members of my family helped me clean up the mess at my house and I am just so blessed.

I will be helping out with cleaning and painting at my house tomorrow and will be giving away the things I do not need to those that need them more. I am also thinking of getting my house and property blessed with some priests that I know and just changing the furniture and other things at my house. I am looking forward to going through all of the stages of this situation, I honestly can’t help but feel as if this is a lesson that I accepted before incarnating here and I am taking this as a lesson to just grow and be a better person and helping others out. I am continuing day by day and I do get thoughts but I observe them and let them go. I am also trying to stay busy and trying to take care of the billing and all of the changes and duties that I am going to have to take care of from now on.

Thank you brothers and sisters, this forum means soooooo much to me as well as this work. This situation is making me into a stronger person and I know that things will get better from here on out.
 
What a truly tragic and awful situation. My deepest condolences on your loss Ghazi18. I’m glad that you have support to help you get through this. It looks like you are taking things in your stride with regards to attending to the house. Look after yourself and know that the network is here for you ❤️

:hug:
 
Ghazi18 said:
I do know a couple of hypnotherapist and will be in college text with them so I could receive help with this situation. After my mothers viewing, I prayed for her again and I was filled with happiness just knowing that my mom is at peace, I know my father is at peace as well but I was much closer to my mother and I feel her love in my heart. My father is most likely going to take a longer time “sleeping” ( just my guess with the limited knowledge of the afterlife and 5th den that I have).
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I am very sorry, Ghazi18, and please accept my sincere condolences. :hug2:

What happened is an extremely difficult situation and tragedy. Please remember that you don't need to explain why you want to move back to the house. It's ok and totally understandable. As others said. take care of yourself. :hug: Also, as others said, please look for a therapist or a counselor, and not only for a hypnotherapist (unless they do both), because such traumatic events do require gradual conscious processing before going for other modalities. It is a process that takes time, and right now go easy on yourself, and take whatever time is needed. :hug2:

Ancient of Lore said:
During the sessions Laura always pointed that due to modern society and limited knowledge people don't know 'how to die' so they become ghosts and are just wandering around. What exactly do we have to say to them or what things we have to explain to them so they could leave?
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Even if your question could potentially be related, it would be more appropriate if you would ask it on another thread (this one, for example).
 
Dude! What a terrible blow! That totally sucks!

I'm glad to hear you've got some decent support from the folks around you. The property owners are being very gracious in allowing you the financial space to reconfigure your life. That's a serious blessing! When all is said and done and things are smooth again in your life, I'd offer them a thank-you note or something. Financial burdens held back is no small thing. It's very special when you have that kind of help during this kind of crisis.

But right now, it's all about you and your immediate people (and puppies). There's no shame in taking care of business, internally and externally.

I definitely think counseling is a good idea -at some point when you can afford it and fit it into your life. Ever read the book, "Reviving Ophelia"? That book was an absolutely excellent example of the advanced science/art of therapy, which is truly powerful and healing if you find a good practitioner. Jordan B. Peterson works in a similar vein with his practice; imagine how helpful such a wise and empathic person of great knowledge can be. -In ways you can't even guess (unless you've studied the field somewhat yourself.) I wouldn't write it off at all; good counseling/therapy is one of the true gems of human ingenuity, unique I think, in this phase of human history. Definitely take advantage of it if and when you are able.

Beyond all that, I don't really have any good advice; I've never dealt with anything so extreme, though I'd suggest regularly connecting with this forum or others (as indicated by Cleo in a post above). That seems like a good idea.

Anyway, all the best to you. Prayers incoming!
 
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