Interview with Mel Robbins

Brilliant find Laura. This woman is totally straight forward and explains things in an understandable way. Oddly enough I have always used 1, 2, 3 for getting out of bed on cold mornings but I am going to count the other way now. I am one of the world's top procrastinators unfortunately but hopefully this method of thinking will sort me out :-)
 
I love how simple this technique is. And what Robbins describes as hesitation is the same thing as avoidance or denial. We so often attempt to get through avoidance with pep talks and 'motivation', but as Robbins aptly puts it, motivation is garbage. It doesn't exist and it is just another 'dream' born out of avoidance. We avoid our avoidance in so many way, and this is what underlies our dissociation and inactivity. But the essential things here is that it is a denial of reality. The C's life is religion quote applies here:

'Life is religion. Life experiences reflect how one interacts with God. Those who are asleep are those of little faith in terms of their interaction with the creation. Some people think that the world exists for them to overcome or ignore or shut out. For those individuals, the world will cease. They will become exactly what they give to life. They will become merely a dream in the 'past.' People who pay strict attention to objective reality right and left, become the reality of the 'Future.'

This technique works and is so effective because in that moment we are making the choice that confronts our denial of life and our crippling anxieties, and in doing so transmuting fear that makes us passive to confidence that is based on action. That action informs our subconscious of who we are, just as inaction does the same. Our deeply rooted sense of identity is informed by what we do (or don't do) and everything else: our thoughts, deeds, and our emotions follow. It seems we can tap into that 'deeply engrained' system by Doing, but we have a limited window to do it. That said, in that moment where we 'change systems' so to speak, there is so much more going on at deeper psychological levels, and when we do this consistently it actually does change us and the world around us too.

An interesting puzzle is that psychopaths don't experience hesitation, anxiety, fear, or doubt. Normal people do. Yet, for normal people this energy can so easily be adapted for the denial of life, or conversely used for the engagement of life. It can be the moving force for questioning, curiosity, discovery, and genuine confidence or it can be a paralyzing force that feeds all sorts of negative things that you think and feel about yourself and the world, and when the denial becomes strong enough, it invites all sorts of chaos. Perhaps it is because we have the choice and life force that can be used for either reality or non-reality, that that is what makes us human.
 
Renaissance said:
I love how simple this technique is. And what Robbins describes as hesitation is the same thing as avoidance or denial. We so often attempt to get through avoidance with pep talks and 'motivation', but as Robbins aptly puts it, motivation is garbage. It doesn't exist and it is just another 'dream' born out of avoidance. We avoid our avoidance in so many way, and this is what underlies our dissociation and inactivity. But the essential things here is that it is a denial of reality. The C's life is religion quote applies here:

'Life is religion. Life experiences reflect how one interacts with God. Those who are asleep are those of little faith in terms of their interaction with the creation. Some people think that the world exists for them to overcome or ignore or shut out. For those individuals, the world will cease. They will become exactly what they give to life. They will become merely a dream in the 'past.' People who pay strict attention to objective reality right and left, become the reality of the 'Future.'

This technique works and is so effective because in that moment we are making the choice that confronts our denial of life and our crippling anxieties, and in doing so transmuting fear that makes us passive to confidence that is based on action. That action informs our subconscious of who we are, just as inaction does the same. Our deeply rooted sense of identity is informed by what we do (or don't do) and everything else: our thoughts, deeds, and our emotions follow. It seems we can tap into that 'deeply engrained' system by Doing, but we have a limited window to do it. That said, in that moment where we 'change systems' so to speak, there is so much more going on at deeper psychological levels, and when we do this consistently it actually does change us and the world around us too.

An interesting puzzle is that psychopaths don't experience hesitation, anxiety, fear, or doubt. Normal people do. Yet, for normal people this energy can so easily be adapted for the denial of life, or conversely used for the engagement of life. It can be the moving force for questioning, curiosity, discovery, and genuine confidence or it can be a paralyzing force that feeds all sorts of negative things that you think and feel about yourself and the world, and when the denial becomes strong enough, it invites all sorts of chaos. Perhaps it is because we have the choice and life force that can be used for either reality or non-reality, that that is what makes us human.
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I’m glad you wrote such a detailed and in-depth post, because the technique has also had the effect on me of making me more aware of many different things, which has lead to me thinking deeply about it, too.

What you said about psychopaths, that observation had come about in me, too. Except, I wasn’t looking at it from the psychopathic point of view, but from the view of successful people I personally know. That lack of hesitation is apparent. Not in a foolhardy way, but just that lack of second-guessing. It’s like an energy they have. Sometimes such people are referred to as, ‘a force of nature’, and that in itself is an interesting phrase to think about; like, what’s coming through them is ‘the force of their nature; a nature that isn’t hampered by habitual hesitation.

The other thing that stands out to me is how often I’m using it throughout the day. It shows me how basically every day of my life I’ve hit a fork in the road that lead to mediocrity, distraction, dissociation. Today I had the most productive day I’ve had in a long time, it’s simply because of this technique.

Another thing is that if you’ve used the technique a couple of times in a day, you start to feel more connected to yourself in general, like you build momentum in the same direction, so that you naturally go about doing what you may have spent countless hours ruminating on trying to force yourself to do, or plan out.

It makes you more aware of the predator’s mind, because having spent less time in the company of it - so to say - it becomes so much more obvious when it starts trying to take over.

Just a few thoughts so far from my experiment with it.
 
Thanks for this great little tip of counting backwards to stop habitual thought looping! I find here a valuable tool to add to my toolkit. The habit of anxiety has become so unconscious and its very helpful to get this angle on hesitation. I love new angles!

Some notes I made while watching that brought to mind Gurdjieff's ideas:

Trapped in the knowledge action gap, you know but can't bring yourself to do = internal considering plus wrong work of centers. Trying to think with your emotional center perhaps, or thinking mechanically with the moving center.

When she recounted how many of you have experienced lying in bed at night and telling yourself tomorrow that's the day I wake up and make that big change! I laughed out loud and thought this right here is the doctrine of many I's. There is not a single unified person in charge and you all cannot agree or even recognize each other. This community of me is divided in purpose. The machine does not work properly.

When you count backwards you have 5 seconds in which your inner wisdom kicks in - could this be your essence speaking rather than false personality?

Counting itself is something I do a lot while performing menial tasks especially something I detest doing like brushing teeth. By occupying your mind with a counting game say in 3s or 5s takes the mind away from daydreaming and mind wandering. And by creating that separation from the habitual associating, moments of actual Seeing can occur thereby finding some precious freedom from mental slavery.

I must say though that I often impulsively it seems plunge in courageously only to be mortified at myself for leaping before looking! All a process of discovery that's often very uncomfortable, but Learning is Fun!
 
BowlofSaki said:
When you count backwards you have 5 seconds in which your inner wisdom kicks in - could this be your essence speaking rather than false personality?
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It certainly feels this way to me, although I’m not 100% sure that the term ‘essence’ is correct.

Whatever it is that is able to maintain control or continue on the path towards an aim or initiate the path towards an aim, it’s preferable to giving over one’s will to the predator’s mind. So it’s not a major concern to define what it is exactly - essence, real you… it’s the result of that part maintaining control or having more agency that really matters.
 
Carl said:
Thanks for sharing this. It's a technique I use to get into freezing cold lakes, but I didn't have the insight to apply anywhere else :lol: .

I've often been frustrated with how sometimes it just seems impossible to do certain good things, or to not do certain bad things, especially when it comes to thought loops and fears. Like free will might as well not exist! So it would be really handy to have an extra boost. I am experimenting with this technique now.
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Since the new year I've been reeaally struggling to get back into running/sprinting. Like every single day just managed to talk myself out of it.

Happy to announce that using this technique I've got back on the wagon now.

It's always amazing to see how many thoughts keep us from doing something.
Today: Nasty weather, heavy rain, cold, my area is a concrete jungle so I have to run 10 mins to nature to even do it, people will think I'm weird doing sets of full whack sprinting in the cemetery, my legs/lungs will hurt, I'm not feeling 100%, I don't really have time...

Once I just did it, all that melted away, along with a lot of other anxieties about unrelated things. Really enjoyed running with the wind in my face and pushing myself. And after it, the rush of hormones and brain chemicals sets the rest of the day up with momentum.

On that note, for anyone who's physically able, if you are stuck in a rut then HIIT is the best mental health hack I've ever found personally. More effective than cold water or meditation or breathwork etc.

Just a simple routine of Warm Up + (6 second sprint, 10 second rest) x 6 + Warm Down, like outlined in the below study, is enough to shatter stagnant energy and make very significant changes in hormones - both immediate, and long-lasting and cumulative when done twice a week. Can be done running or on an exercise bike.
Physiological and performance changes from the addition of a sprint interval program to wrestling training - PubMed
After the 4-week training program, total testosterone and the total testosterone/cortisol ratio increased significantly in the EXP group, whereas cortisol tended to decrease (p = 0.06)
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I can confirm that this is really helpful. I have done similar things in the past, but for some reason the counting backwards seems to work well with stopping the thought train (wreck) in its tacks.

I combine it with positive vizualisations, such as a wide horizon, to switch my thinking to "long-term" and put things into perspective. This seems to work well. But I also like the things she suggests, such as visualizing having a toast on a successful project. Also: me in the future, being calm and relaxed.

There is a fine line between unhealthy anticipation/wishful thinking and "positive thinking" though. Useful to be on guard and not imagine too specific outcomes or use the technique to escape problems that need to be addressed. Discernment.

Thanks for sharing, just what I needed right now!
 
Carl said:
Since the new year I've been reeaally struggling to get back into running/sprinting. Like every single day just managed to talk myself out of it.

Happy to announce that using this technique I've got back on the wagon now.

It's always amazing to see how many thoughts keep us from doing something.
Today: Nasty weather, heavy rain, cold, my area is a concrete jungle so I have to run 10 mins to nature to even do it, people will think I'm weird doing sets of full whack sprinting in the cemetery, my legs/lungs will hurt, I'm not feeling 100%, I don't really have time...

Once I just did it, all that melted away, along with a lot of other anxieties about unrelated things. Really enjoyed running with the wind in my face and pushing myself. And after it, the rush of hormones and brain chemicals sets the rest of the day up with momentum.

On that note, for anyone who's physically able, if you are stuck in a rut then HIIT is the best mental health hack I've ever found personally. More effective than cold water or meditation or breathwork etc.

Just a simple routine of Warm Up + (6 second sprint, 10 second rest) x 6 + Warm Down, like outlined in the below study, is enough to shatter stagnant energy and make very significant changes in hormones - both immediate, and long-lasting and cumulative when done twice a week. Can be done running or on an exercise bike.
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I've been wanting to get back into the habit of working out, specifically doing some HIIT. I like the sprinting workout because it's super simple and engages the thighs. So instead of thinking about adding it to my routine in the future, I just did the countdown, got dressed and did the exercises. It is cold here as well, but that wasn't even a factor in my decision. Now the test will be consistency!
 
Thank you Laura for sharing!
How interesting and useful, wow!!, how shocking the part where refer to the thought patterns that loop over and over again, when you don't break bad habits, it made me discover a list of them!
Above all I liked very much the practical and simple way that he exposes with the 5 seconds rule to overcome the automatic mode of the brain and use to our benefit a change in our individual reality through the will and good decisions.
 
Rhys said:
Now this is a Great Reset I can get behind! :lol:

5, 4, 3, 2, 1 :wizard:
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LOL - YES!!! I have been using this and it works. Am horrible when it comes to thought loops - which if left to run wild can result in lying awake for hours during the night. The first day or so I had to consciously remind myself, but after several days it is coming naturally. One big advantage is that it is an amazing technique for motivation - I have started getting up earlier to have time for quiet in the morning before beginning the work day. That has set a pattern and has primed me to complete some minor but annoying tasks, getting them out of the way and beginning some larger annoying tasks. And when these are cleared i feel sooo much lighter!

Such a deceptively simple exercise but with profound results. Thank you for this gem!
 
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