Interview with Mel Robbins

[Marina9]

Thank you for sharing this Laura!

I listened to her a while back in a talk she has with Lewis Howes about relationships, which is also interesting IMO. This technique seems very interesting and i'm currently giving it a go in my daily life, and as well requires discipline to remember to do so when you're stuck on negative thought loops.

The whole visualisation thing reminds me of an activity I created for New Year's which is the creation of a Vision Board, with all things related to life: professional aspect, personal and everything you want to pursue for the year, while making it you have to really think and feel that those things are real and having it daily in your room or a space where you can see it often also counts as a reminder for your brain about these things and the things you need to do to actually accomplish them.

The thing she mentions about how you wake up in the morning's is so important, also reminded me of a book that my brother recommended to me from Hal Elrod, where he talks about the importance to go to sleep thinking that tomorrow will be a great day, you'll wake up early, exercise, meditate, etc, and how that can help you to actually wake up with another perspective rather than going to bed with the same negative loops, worry, anxiety, and then waking up with the exact same feeling you had the night before and go on and on with those sabotaging thoughts.

Thanks again! And for anyone who's Spanish is their first language the video is also in Spanish.

 

[Pat]

A truly interesting discussion about how our brains control us, and how to get out of our heads and change our lives.

How very surprising the coincidence an other Robbins?!

About 20 years ago when I was looking to be a better me, more productive and positive in my actions I looked into Tony ROBBINS the "gurut" at the time who without education but with oratorical skills became very very successful. He appealed to lots of normal people and then chose to educate only businesses and rich people. Some of his books: Awaken the giant within, Unlimited Power, Giant steps, Personal Power, Money...
Life coach - self improvement but also the idea of becoming more productive for the society we live in. To fit better into the mould... doing, doing, doing.
Listening to the lady I feel like before, obvious truth, simple techniques to put in place but no real answers.
Do we choose to shut off the noise and thus not learn or to listen to the message. Only now little by little I understand the meaning of the noise I hear and learn to listen or not. But it's so important to hear it and discover how outrageous it can be, how silly!
Even when I listen to the noise I know I had the free will to say yes or no and it gives me strength for next time.
Sorry for the long writing. Hope it makes sense. It's my first impression. I will listen to the video again.

 

[Wandering Star]

I have sent this video to various co-workers and from the responses, especially from one of them, I have thought that this technique does not work very well or does not work at all, with the people we call organic portals.

Why?

From the outset I have seen that they are not able to understand what is said in the video. Of course, it may be a lack of intellectual capacity of the person in question, but I think not.

Their world is what it is and they cannot conceive of another.

My problem is this, what nonsense is this to count backwards and then think of something else? - he thought.

My problem is still there, how am I going to stop thinking about it?

I don't want to say that it is something absolute, but I believe that in most organic portals, shifting thoughts to the prefrontal lobe is something that they cannot do.

Just something that I thought, given the response to this from a co-worker.

 

[Pat]

I have sent this video to various co-workers and from the responses, especially from one of them, I have thought that this technique does not work very well or does not work at all, with the people we call organic portals.

Why?

From the outset I have seen that they are not able to understand what is said in the video. Of course, it may be a lack of intellectual capacity of the person in question, but I think not.

Their world is what it is and they cannot conceive of another.

My problem is this, what nonsense is this to count backwards and then think of something else? - he thought.

My problem is still there, how am I going to stop thinking about it?

I don't want to say that it is something absolute, but I believe that in most organic portals, shifting thoughts to the prefrontal lobe is something that they cannot do.

Just something that I thought, given the response to this from a co-worker.

Does it mean that your co-worker is an organic portal?

 

[Wandering Star]

Does it mean that your co-worker is an organic portal?

You can never be sure of that.

If half the population is, then there is a 50% chance that he is.

After several years of observing this comrade and the rest, I think of several comrades that may be.

I know exactly what I can expect from them and what not.

No surprises.

 

[whitecoast]

It works!!!!

I have noticed that my mind favors 5-3-2-1 over 5-4-3-2-1, which could explain why 5-4-3-2-1 is so effective... because it delivers a shock!

• 5-3-2-1 is basically Fibonacci in reverse!
• 1-2-3, the standard Fibonacci, also "flows" well and is too comfortable!

I think the "4" in 5-4-3-2-1 sufficiently elongates the message sent to self, so that it breaks the "hypnotic" thought loop. As you can see below, there is a straight line when you say 5-4-3-2-1. Therefore, saying something "linear" like "ha!" versus something "curvy" like "mellow" could help focus an intention. In that sense, an intention could be carried solely based on the "shape" of the message!
View attachment 69128View attachment 69129
Change is uncomfortable. It takes energy to switch a mental context.
5-4-3-2-1, the electric shock!

Sometimes when I am impatient to change I cut the count down to 3-2-1, sometimes less, and it still seems to work.

In Joe Dispenza's guided meditation from Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself, there's a section where you do train yourself to introduce a pattern interrupt if you notice you're dwelling on certain emotions or patterns of thought you decided to leave in the past, and for that you just say, "change!" After practising the meditation for awhile, it becomes more efficacious in interrupting the pattern you wished to break.

 

[ScioAgapeOmnis]

I have sent this video to various co-workers and from the responses, especially from one of them, I have thought that this technique does not work very well or does not work at all, with the people we call organic portals.

Why?

From the outset I have seen that they are not able to understand what is said in the video. Of course, it may be a lack of intellectual capacity of the person in question, but I think not.

Their world is what it is and they cannot conceive of another.

My problem is this, what nonsense is this to count backwards and then think of something else? - he thought.

My problem is still there, how am I going to stop thinking about it?

I don't want to say that it is something absolute, but I believe that in most organic portals, shifting thoughts to the prefrontal lobe is something that they cannot do.

Just something that I thought, given the response to this from a co-worker.

I think it may also be what Mel herself said in the video - it actually sounds too simple to work. So it's easy to dismiss as a gimmick without giving it a shot. I think we see the problem as complex and assume the solution must be similarly involved. But this is definitely an example of "what do you have to lose"? At worst the 5,4,3,2,1 thing doesn't work and you feel silly and move on. But there is nothing to lose to try it out for a few days or weeks.

I'm going to give it a shot and see how it works, because I've been dealing with a lot of anxiety and have been feeling rather stuck over the last year or so, and unsure how to break through it yet. The C's have said that taking action in the direction of your goals/dreams opens up energy channels that enable the universe to assist you. It sounds like if this technique can help you start doing things in favor of your own destiny, the universe will meet you half-way. The C's also mentioned that all successful businessmen intuitively understand that by expanding their output, they also allow for more input. But you have to start somewhere, and this might be a good tool to help start taking baby steps.

 

[Chu]

I love that woman!

Thanks for sharing the extras, @Freya Stewart! They made me think and do a bit of a review.

--Rule 1 is "Geniuses don't sleep with their phone" or check email/social media in the first hour upon waking. Automatically going to the phone/computer after we wake up starts our day off in the robotic mind mode.

This is one I already follow.

--Which ties into Rule 2: "Geniuses let their minds wander." Giving your mind the space of an hour allows opportunity for creativity and aha moments and allows the inner genius mind time to come out.

I don't do that enough, and often regret it. I've been doing it a bit more in the mornings recently.

-- Rule 3 is "Geniuses make progress not to-do lists." Here she suggests to sit down with your notebook/journal and create one priority for your day write it down and write why it matters to you. She discourages creating to-do lists as they tend to create overwhelm that then triggers procrastination. I can attest to this as I am a big lister who never seems to complete everything on my lists lol.

Good one! I recently did something similar after reading the book Atomic Habits, but not quite the same. I'll give it a try. I'm also a To-Do lister. But for me the effect is that I focus too much on what needs to be done, and not enough on what I feel I need -and want- to do (there's a big difference, sometimes, and with a good organization, they aren't mutually exclusive).

--Rule 4: "Geniuses take 30 minutes before 7:30am." This 30 minutes is dedicated time to put yourself first, to nourish yourself, and to do what is important to you. It could be exercise, meditation, reading, journaling, working on your dream, etc.

This, I do: mild exercises and reading/note-taking. It's the only quiet time in the morning when I allow myself to "be a genius", LOL! If I skip, the day is not the same at all.

--Rule 5: "Geniuses know when to quit." Mel states that is important to have a set quitting time planned for when work will be over for the day and you can transition into rest mode/time with family. Because work expands to fill the time set for completion it's important to have a quit time in place.

I'm really bad at this one. Even if I do "quit", my mind doesn't always follow, so I end up doing one more thing, then another, etc. But I've made a little progress on it recently.

"The number one mistake you are making is being overly focused on the big stuff. The secret to changing the big stuff is just focusing on getting the little things right." This is something I really struggle with, especially with all the knowledge that we have from Laura and the Cs.

Interesting. I recently read or heard about this twice, but didn't know that Mel mentions it too. It's in Atomic Habits as well: the 1% changes are way more important than the big changes in the long run. So, I've been practicing that.

A few months ago, I also stumbled upon her "high 5" videos. Like this one:

That was VERY hard for me in the beginning, but it taught me something about self-worth. Now I'm a bit more comfortable with it. It's another one of those "it's too simple to work" techniques, but heck, I don't feel like putting myself down for everything anymore, so that's positive. When I do it regularly, I'm more productive and positive in general.

 

[Yas]

I've been thinking about this idea of this and other techniques being "simple" but powerful, and I thought that that's pretty interesting in itself.

I remember that idea in Castaneda books about how the predator mind is "baroque". Of course, there's much to that word "baroque", but one aspect of it, I think, is that it can be a bit contrived and complex, complex not necessarily with real and profound thoughts but mostly rumination of thought loops. My impression (of my own baroque mind) is that these thought loops form layers upon layers of intricate narratives that are are complicated and have the appearance of complexity, but they are not real. Some parts of it may be somewhat real, so that's what keeps you hooked, in some cases, but most of it is just layers and layers of narratives.

So, we tend to believe our narratives and they are so contrived that we believe that if we want to work on them, it surely would be a complicated process too, it surely needs to be something really complex because "oh, our issues are so complex".

And in a way, it's true that we human beings are very complex and their issues can be very complex too, so there's no denying that, but what I'm thinking (and trying to say here) is that sometimes, thinking that our issues are so complex and complicated, and that in order to work with them we would need complex methods, is just another way of following our baroque minds and its narratives, of buying into them. And sometimes we may go in circles with complexities because we're just following that baroque mind even though we think we are working on those narratives and thought loops.

So, simple techniques that work like this one are important because they go in the opposite direction of the baroque and contrived nature of our narratives and thought loops. We may reject them at first because they contradict the idea that our issues are so complex (which makes them bigger and important), but in reality, they work because they are simple, down-to-earth and, of course, there's also more scientific reasons for why it works.

Again, that is not to say that these simple techniques are super easy to follow with consistency, but there's a difference between simple and easy. Something that isn't complicated and contrived, is simple, but it can mean hard work too.

Well, those are just some thoughts, I hope they make sense and that they aren't too contrived and baroque .

Edit: Spelling

 

[Echo Blue]

Yesterday I was with my grandaughter who is eight years old. She is an only child. And since I come from a family of 6 children, (of which I am the oldest), I have noticed that when you are an only child, you lose the opportunity to learn how to interact and develop certain social cues from having siblings who may be different....whether in age or temperment.

Anyway, yesterday, my grandaughter (whom I have helped to care for since her birth) was in a foul mood due to the fact that we were playing a game and (sigh....) I was winning. She is a very intelligent individual. She is an outstanding student. But (and here is the rub), she get defensive when not winning OR perceived to be right.

Enter Mel Robbins and her 5-4-3-2-1 countdown. I decided to take a breather with her and told her I knew of a trick that would help her not to become so frustrated with family and friends.

OK she said! So I told her a little story about how you could trick your brain to help you not be so frustrated or angry about something that happens to you. Gave her the 5-4-3-2-1 blastoff trick. She tried it. No reaction. But later on, something else occurred. And I said ..... "try the blastoff trick". She did. And to my complete surprise she stopped what she was doing/thinking and said: Hey, what just happened?

So I just mentioned to her how she knows that there are tricks she has learned with math. And that there are tricks you can use for your brain.

Not sure if this will stick. Her mom has not watched the video yet. But, who knows what little seed I have planted in my grandaughter's mind.

Fingers crossed !

 

[Freya Stewart]

I thought it might be good to recap here what the C's have to say about the importance of the practice of changing our small day to day habits and how that can be a way for us to move into the appropriate reality for us. After re-reading this session excerpt, it gave me some insight into my ongoing experiment with Mel Robin's morning routine. The first several days, I was bounding out of bed when the alarm would go off at 6am. Then the last 3 days, I've noticed greater and greater difficulty responding to the alarm going off, even with earlier bed times (9-10pm). At first, I had an off day, where it felt like I was coming down with something. So I gave myself a day to take it easier, get extra rest, sleep a little later. The next two days, the alarm would go off, I would turn it off, and just lay there, struggling to get up. I also noticed that I am getting hit with a wave of negative thoughts and feelings first thing in the morning. Practicing 5.4.3.2.1 and another technique from Mel in her book 'The High Five Habit': stating mentally "I'm not thinking that," have nipped the negativity in the bud. I wonder if the amount of resistance we encounter when trying to incorporate habits or changes to our day to day life might be a good indication of the importance to push through the discomfort to mastery of these things.

Session 10 October 2015:

(Perceval) There's been talk before of a kind of secret government that is not the overt government. Is it possible that they are in some way restraining the Americans like you just described?

A: The secret government did not anticipate Putin.

Q: (L) Well we had a funny talk the other day where we speculated that we moved into a different timeline. In previous years, we were in a timeline where there was not or could not be a Putin - or at least a Putin as he is in this one. Then, somehow some way, we moved ourselves into a different timeline. Well, I know it's a little egotistical to say that our efforts to send a signal could have shifted us into this other timeline and in effect helped with the manifesting of the changes of today... Is it a possibility that we helped even in a small way?

A: More than you have given yourselves credit for!

Q: (L) Alright. So, when I gave these talks here at these meetings we had a few years ago, and I described making a decision to help and just do one thing after another, day after day; in making such choices one day after the other, will this gradually move you step-by-step to a different timeline?

A: Yes

Q: (L) So it's accumulation of daily steps, daily choices, daily activities?

A: Yes and it would be extremely beneficial if more of your members learned and practiced this.

Q: (L) Can you be more specific about that?

A: For those who find themselves in a life situation that is less than desirable or optimal, small daily acts that declare their affinity for another reality will accumulate and trigger a phase transition.

Q: (L) Well, okay... You've said steps, daily steps. You don't like the reality that you're in so you look around yourself and you see things about your reality that you don't like... I mean, what kind of first daily steps can you take? If you're in a reality that's freaking controlling you and everything around you, how can you take steps? So many people are in situations where they can't even do that sort of thing. What kind of steps can people take at the most basic level?

A: Changing the mode of self-presentation and self-representation is the most basic.

Q: (Galatea) So like, changing habits?

A: Yes

Q: (Galatea) Changes in lifestyle here and there.

(L) Yeah, changes in your lifestyle?

(Perceval) Changes in your mode of self-presentation is kind of like what you identify with, ya know? It gets into what we were just talking about earlier. If a person is wearing clothes that identify him with a certain aspect of common popular culture, then if you are at odds with the world at large because of the insanity and suffering, that would be one of the first things to change: you identification with “popular culture”.

(L) So in other words, if you are not at home in the world the way it is and the way it has grown and the way it has developed, you need to put yourself into a different world NOW with small changes.

(Perceval) And at least stop identifying with this one. All the aspects that popular culture today pushes on people as means to identify with the reality of this world and what makes it tick - which is all kind of depraved and dysfunctional... And people absorb that and they start wearing clothes, and speaking differently, and that's all nothing but identifying with a manufactured aspect of this world and culture.

(L) Hairdos, clothing...

(Perceval) Anything.

(L) If you want to be part of a completely different world... In a sense, it's kinda like some of these people that belong to these organizations that like medieval stuff. So, they all get dressed up, and they have meetings, they have mock battles or whatever.

(Perceval) If there's enough bleedthrough, those people are gonna find themselves living 400 years ago! [laughter]

(L) And then dress: the whole Gothic thing, painting their nails black, and that identifies them with that “Goth” reality, so that's the timeline that they'll go into...

(Galatea) So basically, be the change that you want to see.

(L) Yeah. Be the change you want to see. I guess begin to model yourself on the people that you want to be LIKE or be WITH.

(Pierre) It goes beyond presentation and appearances. With those medieval guys, for example, that's the visible manifestation of what they like, what they think about...

(L) Yeah, how you present yourself is about what the values are that go with certain ways of appearing, like having self-respect, care for yourself, external considering, and so on. I mean, some of the hairdos these days are just completely... They disrespect the fact that they're a woman or the fact that they're a man and most of all that they are human beings.

(Pierre) And even the fundamental notion of beauty. It's almost like disrespecting the universe.

(L) So these are the kinds of small changes people can make. And by making these changes, what then happens?

A: Will attract the new reality incrementally.

Q: (Chu) I guess it's like becoming a better antenna for what you want to attract. Your outward appearance and how you present yourself... But then they said self-representation? That would attract the reality. It already exists somewhere, so it's not like you create it.

(L) You move yourself towards it by activating it in your own life.

(Perceval) We've been trying to attract a reality where the USA gets its ass handed to it... [laughter]

(L) And it looks like it's happening!

(PoB) But there are still people in this reality for whom what's going on now is not the most desirable development. So, why are they here if they didn't work towards this outcome?

(Perceval) There's probably a merging or overlapping of realities...

A: Many splits and merges yet to come. Keep in mind that such transitions can be rather chaotic as you have learned.

 

[3DStudent]

Thank you for this Laura, and Freya Stewart for the info on geniuses. I've seen Mel's videos before, but I don't think anything stuck. It's been on my mind to try the 5 second technique, and I've done the high five to the mirror exercise a few times now.

I'm wondering if it's more effective when you're well rested, or have more dopamine? Sometimes I feel like it's not going to work, and maybe just sitting with my eyes closed and visualizing getting up to do something else works better. Can you do it multiple times if the first time didn't work? And I feel like you have to do it slowly, as if you're a parent and saying, "When I get to one you have to do the thing or else.."

The thing she mentions about how you wake up in the morning's is so important, also reminded me of a book that my brother recommended to me from Hal Elrod, where he talks about the importance to go to sleep thinking that tomorrow will be a great day,

This works for me. Just before bed have the intention that tomorrow is going to be a good day.

 

[Freya Stewart]

Thank you for this Laura, and Freya Stewart for the info on geniuses. I've seen Mel's videos before, but I don't think anything stuck. It's been on my mind to try the 5 second technique, and I've done the high five to the mirror exercise a few times now.

I'm wondering if it's more effective when you're well rested, or have more dopamine? Sometimes I feel like it's not going to work, and maybe just sitting with my eyes closed and visualizing getting up to do something else works better. Can you do it multiple times if the first time didn't work? And I feel like you have to do it slowly, as if you're a parent and saying, "When I get to one you have to do the thing or else.."


This works for me. Just before bed have the intention that tomorrow is going to be a good day.

I think everything works better when you're well rested and your neurotransmitters are at optimal levels Ah, that elusive state. When I use the technique, I notice a shift in my mind from whatever automatic thinking is going on to feeling like I'm back in the driver's seat. I haven't tried doing it multiple times in a row, but it would be interesting to try it. Maybe even just trying to sit with eyes closed for a moment, and pay attention to your mind when you do it and see if you notice anything. If not, no loss, just do what works for you.
In my head, it's not a parental voice issuing an ultimatum. It feels more like a sports announcer counting down the start of a race lol. It feels exciting.

 

[KristinLynne]

Wow! This information was so interesting because in some of my darkest days, I would use this technique to make myself get out of bed. I never thought about using it in other areas of my life that could have used it to interrupt all those thought loops that kept me from doing more positive things.

 

[Mayb]

Couple of years ago I noticed Im procrastinating some things at work like the unpleasant calls and meeting which I knew that will be uncomfortable, delaying it as much is possible and pretending that I have much more important things to do before that. And I figured out that Im more excausted due to procrastination since its stays somewhere at the bottom of my head on the back ticking like a time bomb. And I discovered that if I inhale deeply and deal with it immediately everytime I have such task life becomes much more easy... Unfortunately Im still pressing the snooze button in the morning