Is it all our own fault? Why did we do it?

[bjorb]

Just know Muxel that a lot of folks here identify with what you are going through and have made it to the other side.

Besides the 'gloom and doom' which can be overwhelming.

Another reason for your suffering might be that you don't know how to enjoy life anymore? Your old mechanical ways that brought you joy might not appear that appealing anymore. That's part of practicing the work. How to truly enjoy life is something we have to figure out and is not a given.

So what do you think should bring joy? If STO=only empathy driven and if we intent to be good 4STO candidates. It is sharing, assisting and helping each other.

Our Joy is when we see people learn. Or get it. Our Joy is when we see truth triumph over lies. Our Joy is when creation wins over entropy.

So instead of being overwhelmed by the 'negative' side of creation. How about trying to focus on activities, that are of a positive nature. No matter how small. There is Joy in Doing so.


And about this 'Gloom and Doom.' Creation is a school, the doom and gloom fate may be necessary part for many. Maybe it shakes them out of apathy for a chance. If so, It's of a positive nature. Not negative!! And if they still don't get it. We wish them all the best of luck in the next cycle.

Hence this:

Q: (L) Well, that is because I am confused. What I am trying
to ask without asking it directly is: what chance do we
have of doing anything?

A: You are still not seeing the "bigger picture."

Q: (L) What is the bigger picture?

A: Your souls, your consciousness.

If they learn through the upcoming catalytic events, it's positive. Mourning the death for an illusion of imbalance after all is not part of true compassion.


Than there is the intergalactic/hyper-dimensional Orion Empire thinking that they can control the outcome of the planetary destruction and preventing balance. Just like the US/Empire believes that they can control the outcome of the upcoming economic depression in their favor.

Both will be wrong according to the C’s. And than there is this already shared:

Q: (L) Well, you once said something about the transition to
4th density creating a 'level playing field.' Then, the
people will wake up and there will be a battle between the
humans and aliens...

A: Yes.

Q: (L) And if it is a more level playing field, then the
situation would not quite be the same as the
Conquistadores against the Aztecs and the Native Americans
against the Europeans and...

A: Wrong, all in that drama were at 3rd density. The
rabbits, rats, dogs, etc. are not on a level playing field
with you!

So, lets prepare for it. And then we can transform Earth in a society where the higher centers are motivated. Instead of the lower centers.

 

[luc]

Hi Muxel,

Thank you for sharing this and also for all the great responses here. I have similar feelings on a recurring basis, especially lately.

May I ask if you have any hobbies, or engage in any social activities with friends etc.? For me, this provides some balance, and I'm enjoying a few hobbies/activities that both help me learn more about myself and are fun. Also, I noticed that there are still some very good, kind, and helpful people out there, especially in those hobbies/activities that are considered "boring" by mainstream culture.

This, of course, doesn't always cure our feelings of depressions, because unfortunately, the general law raises its ugly head everywhere we look. But still, for me at least, engaging with life/other people in a healthy way provides some balance to reading about all the horrors and contemplating the futility of life...

The Cs said something that stuck with me (can't locate the quote right now), namely that we have to create movement in our life so that new energies can start flowing in. I think this is true on many levels. The universe really seems to be about balance!

Another thing that helps me dealing with these depressions is to really allow those feelings to fill my whole body, to really feel them. And I know that they will eventually go away, making room for a different "little I", and so I don't need to despair, since it's part of life. Easier said than done of course once it "hits me"...

Fwiw.

 

[axj]

Muxel, I would recommend some consistent practice of emotional cleansing - a lot of the emotional suffering are negative emotions that need to be properly processed and released. What happens a lot of the time is that people "wallow" and indulge in negative emotions.

In my experience, what works best is a sort of meditation where I spend time (sometimes hours if need be) to allow myself to feel what I am avoiding to feel - this in itself will process the negative emotions to some degree. The next step is to release and let go of the negative emotion that you allow yourself to feel. The letting go is kind of like using your will to relax the grip with which you are subconsiously holding on to a negative emotion - then it will dissipate quite naturally. This is just the short version and there are other aspects, such as emotional wounding/trauma, that may need to be addressed as well.

Emotional cleansing and emotional healing is not an easy thing - in fact, it's one of the most difficult things and usually requires consistent practice over a period of time. But the suffering will start to decrease right from the start. It is actually the avoiding, blocking and not wanting to experience the negative emotions that often creates much more suffering than the actual negative emotions.

 

[Azur]

Thank you Muxel for your question.

Many ask this, but not enough do. You're not alone, but most have to walk in solitary, suffering.

As strange as it seems, and this may not give you comfort, but it's fantastic to see a post like yours.

Why? It reminds everyone that this feeling isn't a figment of our imagination, not just in our own individual head-space.

Joe: thank you for your post.

 

[Laurelayn]

I don't have much to add to this thread.
I just wanted to say the subject matter is addressing things I am struggling with in my life as well.
And I wanted to say that I am profoundly grateful to all who have commented.
I am reminded of why I have been reading and hanging out for so long.
Thank you all so much.

Laurie

 

[whitecoast]

Life is tough, all too tough, and sometimes I don't even know why I got myself into this in the first place. Why do we do it? Why do we come into these bodies and suffer, literally by default?

Did we know, pre-incarnatively, what we were getting ourselves into? Were we naive, and expected humans to be more than what they are - which is biological automatons?

The thing about reincarnation stumps me, because it suggests that there is an element of choice in the matter. And it implies that at some level, we chose this. (And therefore deserve every bit of it - how cruel!)

I am so very tired, and so weary of this life. There is no "justice" to be had, and it is just wishful thinking to expect 99.999999% of humans to be anything more than what they are.

I'm tired of how life makes some suffer while others revel. I'm tired of all the competition that is inbuilt into our biology, and by extension, culture. I'm tired of how all this is Nature's "Grand Design". And we cannot change anything, we are merely God's pawns.

I think all of the above is internal considering in the broadest sense; this dissatisfaction and resistance toward WHAT IS is just another aspect of that programmed reality (within us) clashing with another aspect of that programmed reality (outside of us). Giving into despair or pessimism and withdrawing from those challenges and lessons are simply just another manifestation of that programming. So even if we end our life in suicide or entropic living, we are not actually rejecting the world the way we think we are; we are in fact accepting its worst aspects into us without allowing anything positive to take root. (And I'm not accusing you of being suicidal, I'm just using it as an illustration for nihilism and hopelessness).

IMO, the only true wholesale rejection of this reality, the biggest fu you can give it, is to be the brightest and most creative light you can be (like Laura said). That is introducing something entirely foreign into this STS world and transforming it.

It's important to validate those negative feelings time and again, since we all have them, but it's important also to not "believe in them" or treat them as resembling the actual nature of things (other than at a very superficial level). FWIW.

 

[tschai]

Well, that's a pretty dark view of things and I can sure understand it; been there, done that. What keeps me going is the thought of how sad it would be for the universe to come to an end without "one good man"... so, I will be that person as far as I am able.

And thank you for that...it gives the rest of us hope and inspiration!

 

[Aliana]

I am so very tired, and so weary of this life. There is no "justice" to be had, and it is just wishful thinking to expect 99.999999% of humans to be anything more than what they are.

I'm tired of how life makes some suffer while others revel. I'm tired of all the competition that is inbuilt into our biology, and by extension, culture. I'm tired of how all this is Nature's "Grand Design". And we cannot change anything, we are merely God's pawns.

Muxel, am glad you posted your feelings because as others have said they mirror that Valley of Darkness that many of us are experiencing. I have been going through my share of questioning, hopelessness and despair as well, so I understand how grim things look from this perspective.

What I have been thinking is that while we cannot know yet if there is any hope that any of our actions may have ultimate positive consequences – we also don’t know that they don’t. I think that making the assumption that we cannot change anything and that we are pawns is succumbing to the despair – which is what I assume the dark T-shirts have been working so hard to bring about. Casting aside any other considerations (and there are many), wouldn’t it be worth just not giving in to those forces, just because? Why support something that pushes so hard to destroy our will? Why wouldn’t we want to be aligned with a positive force even if the chance is infinitesimally small that it might make a difference?

I think that it’s also like asking the DCM for proof – a bit like trying to make a business deal with the Cosmos. Saying, well the odds don’t look so good in our favor, so am gonna just pack up my toys and check out.

I keep reminding myself of the old adage “Things are darkest just before the dawn”. And perhaps when or if we see dawn, is dependent on what we collectively send out or give to the Universe – we aren’t being asked to believe in any of it, but to choose in each moment where we give our energy. It might not make a difference, but just working toward that tiny possibility, in whatever way possible, seems the only aim worth pursuing.

 

[bjorb]

If you give up you miss out on the smallest of details that can make a difference. It’s something I learned from chess, strategy games and the sorts. It’s only over until it’s over. You can win against all odds but you can’t win if you have given up. Just have faith.

The cleansing and upcoming balance implies that the people who cling to entropy will 'check out.' Only without them can we build a better world. Them staying around will not serve them also. We can only unite in spirit with people who are able to learn. They are the reality of the future.

The C' are obviously guiding us to something big. Please have faith. If 4Density can be reclaimed we should aim for it. It will chance everything. It will also show the universe that humanity is able to learn and with that all kinds of help might be around the corner.

So whatever they have in store of us. If we can be part of the STO family of creation. We can show STS together that Earth is not for the taking, and with that build a better world.

 

[munaychasumaq]

Muxel.

As many people from this forum i understand perfectly how do you feel...this is the history of our lives.You know about Berta Càceres.She was an activist in the most dangerous country in the world for this activity and she was kill...but her daughter will continue her job,she will not surrender despite the terrible darkness in Honduras than the Institutions are doing everything possible to close Berta`s Case.Her daughter is not afraid,her Mother gives to her the strength to fight for what is just and create a better word for the Lenca People.She and her Mother make the difference.They are two good women I really sure the Universe are so happy with them and with the Few Ones than make the huge difference.
Do not forget than Darkness want your beautiful Light,do not allow them to stay with It

 

[happyliza]

I cannot believe that I am reporting back here after only 24 hours. But.... I just have to relate what happened today. I found an very fair bank (yes it is possible) here in North Cyprus. They pay excellent rates (I only had a moderate pension deposit yet they still gave me 11.5% on my Turkish lira - the bank is Turkish cypriot and is covered by exactly the same 'insurances' as big banks here who pay much lower rates. Also with this bank they still pay you for whatever is in the monthly deposit regardless of whether you withdraw money or not. And they don't charge you for the privilege of banking with them!!) Sorry I had to explain these basics - and I am sure there are more advantages I am not aware of however I have been invited to their cocktail party in another branch purely because I love to promote fairness!!


That apart. I had reason in the last few days to negotiate with a jeweller here (again one who bucks the ponerized system) because I needed to buy some gold coins for the obvious reasons of not keeping all eggs in one basket when TSHTF. He kept his promise to me.

Also I had reason to see a notaire on finally getting my 'loan' to my partner legal now he is back into the country and vice free and working. So why do I relate all this?

BECAUSE I was so grateful that all went well and according to my 'plans' with all of the above potentially volatile things above where most people get scuppered around the planet (myself included on various things in the past - i.e trusting wrong people and billboard falling on my head due to same)!

Well all went flowingly over the past week- including a transfer to my daughter to help her diversify her business so that she can live over here much of her time - that everywhere I went I collected their business cards etc.

Today - I was sitting in a street cafe with my best friend when an acquaintance walked past who I hailed in to join us. It just so happened that I pointed out the stress and weight loss on his face (which was due to business reasons I knew about here). As he shared his problem and also his plans for the business solution to restart his business with lessons learned (same as me - TRUSTING wrong British partner). IT SO HAPPENED that he needed 3 things from my advice! The notaire, the bank, and ultimately the gold coin dealer!!! WOW.

To me that says do what you have to do with intention. Keep connected to the Universe and how you can be of service, and the Universe will use you to help others. I had no idea that he would require all 3 of my newly acquired contacts but he was totally grateful. In front of me he immediately made an appointment with the notaire, said he needed a new bank ( and guess this - that bank called me out of the blue last week to invite me to that cocktail party! Plus they have already helped my friend with a bank loan on her car for her cafe business and without knowing that I said she must come with me to this 'do' to network!!)

THEN after this acquaintance had left I had many message from him about the gold coin dealer where he needs to buy 10k in gold coins!!

Well looks like I have yet another 'job' here which I am very happy to do - which seems to be whatever I did in the few previous days paved the way to help somebody else!

What I am getting at here - as with my previous post about helping build the critcal mass for the changes needed on the planet - my awareness was and has been tuned to the universe and how I can be a good servant for the universe - mainly because that really appeals to me and the thought really brings me joy. I have never known of the concept before until recently discussed here. So what I am saying is I hope I am being used in the right way - that genuine people/plans are being helped. I am well aware of being a negative vector as previous post on this forum have shown me too - much to my internal disgust and personal disappointment! But maybe I had to learn that for this to happen? Who am I to know? Maybe purely imagination/wishful thinking. But the last 3 days synchronicity - even pulled apart - seem just too much. especially when the people concerned are down to earth types, the latter I have known for a few years and I was pleased to hear today that he had given up casinos and alcohol!

Now I am far from what people here would term a 'good follower' eg following everything to the letter etc - but my thinking is this: IF somebody CAN be aware enough and willing enough to want to be of service to the Universe - obviously with very skeptical/discerning/doubting minds as to 'who is talking here' - then is that not something worthwhile to be? Is that not a good aim to have? I know I have far to go and much to catch up on but for me I feel that this is what I would love to be of use for while I battle with understanding and applying what I study and work on getting my health side right and much much more. I feel it is a matter of aligning to the possibility that I wish to be of such service that the above examples suddenly occurred. I could be soo soo wrong but it hasn't hurt me nor has it hurt the people I have signposted AFAIK. How many people here on our sorry planet have even been aware that we may be able to do this? Perhaps the universe needs such conduits at this juncture that even me with broken wings and totally imperfect will do so long as my intention is pure? I know this is pure subjective conjecture but the last three days have totally been awesome - and I have no other explanation for the flow of such positive synchronistic events. (though I still have to find a set of keys I need for at least 7 important places/utilities/filing cabinet etc in the flat! I hid them when I got some gold coins a week ago and forgot where!!!). I asked for hints in dreams but ...... still imagining a positive outcome :)

FWIW again all the above is purely subjective and - as usual - there may be important negative factors that I have not taken on board. In the meantime I will jut collect more business cards from the 'helpful' sector and go about my normal life and remember to talk to people, notice people, stay awake and aware - self remembering in the present as much as I can. Either way it sure lifts the spirit!

 

[happyliza]

I am quite sure - as others have pointed out - that Muxel's post actually helps many people at this time. Perception, I think, helps determine where we are on the emotional level. Muxel stated that 99.9% have no idea about what is going on ( I am paraphrasing here) and only 0000.1% actually are on the road to 'getting the point, having an internal flame/aim etc. Well like the glass half full it i better to choose to be part of the knowledgeable ones!! However miniscule we have always known that number to be. And how 'lucky' we are to be part of that incredibly small number of entities that chose to maximixe to the best of their abilities, their chances of helping and of progression. Even more encouraging is that we were led - one way or another - to the very 'school/forum' that can guide/help/sustain us in such a minefield in these times. Gratitude is a total understatement as without such a lighthouse and comforting welcome/embrace (and now even the further 'protection' of crystals, repository of knowledge, mirrors and love - we would all just be alone and blowing hopelessly in the wind.


Furthermore it is always good sense to keep in mind Gurdjieff's sobering and enlightening piece about the last hour of life - mentioned recently for obvious reasons. Do we really have the luxury now of negativity, feeling sorry for ourselves or even wallowing in self doubt and self pity - even if we don't recognize that is what we actually are doing? Have times not shifted now so that better we consider that we may have very limited time left on our lovely planet? The C's have not actually stated OSIT that we will have a total cleansing, and the wave could mean that we just lift ourselves in consciousness to a certain extent (and all that that may mean). However, they have also said that the world will become unrecognizable to us - again that ha many connotations. But let's just say that it may well mean total devastation. So that i not a bad scenario to assume with all that that entails. By that I mean we may have a limited amount of time left of this lifetime in which to appreciate the sheer beauty that is still around us on our marvellous planet. Daily I bear this in mind an soak up all aspects of beauty, kindness and all nature - flora and fauna - and love and try to understand as deeply as I can, what I can see and experience. Even a pack of stray dogs and their psychology and mannerisms - seeming cruelty to a dog outside the pack. Roses, scent, everything. While I have physicality I don't want to miss anything - any experience, impression, external learning/lesson or close relationship. There is so much to appreciate around us that although I post daily about the suffering and negativity of this world I now more than balance it with the gratitude of understanding that all is purely on loan to me - that every day, every mood in the weather or beautiful moon or sunset experienced here on earth in my current capacity is so rich with appreciation of this particular existence I have been granted. Savouring what I have all around me - all that is 'free' to me. How can we not wish to soak up spring, new birth, new life - new flowers and all the different seasons, mountains and the real beauty that is still all around us. We don't have to continually focus on the destruction, ponerology and defeatism going on. We can actually stop ourselves any time we wish smell the roses along the way. Appreciate all the good that is being done behind the scenes - and the Putin's of this world!

Being objective surely doesn't just mean being blind to what we do still have on our world that is totally awesome. Where would the balance be in that? We may well have upgraded our ideas and our ideals as to what constitutes reality worth admiring and appreciating but it still exists at the moment - but for how long? If doom and gloom is taking over your right to JOY then what went wrong? Where is the balance? In the face of evil there is this 'ecstasy' word that crops up from the C's that maybe should warrant some further research?
Appreciate our surroundings - even in the slums 'beauty' can be found in simple gestures, people, an unexpected flower striving against impossible odds.

In the meantime I still will put up a fight against a 10 storey modern hotel planned only a stone's throw from the beautiful historic fort designed by Leonardo de Vinci. Or arguing about an astronomical £20,000 council tax bill for April when it is normally just £5!. Such things sure help towards putting our own psychological 'sh*t' in perspective and teaches us to also be able to take an unstressed back-seat view of life - in the grand scheme of 'time' and priorities. Yet that doesn't prevent us from still being aware of the fact we need to clean up our transmission/receiving centres on a personal level. Is our lesson for some of us this lifetime to learn to be able to transcend a violent death and still be able to pass over fully conscious with all our mental faculties in tact and stress free? Perhaps so, then so be it - a learning experience to not fear death - why should we if we already know we are immortal and that life goes on. As Caesar said - 'fear nothing'. We are very privileged to have been able to receive his hindsight knowledge. Perhaps we could next ask the same of Gurdjieff? What would/could he have done in retrospect? etc. Perhaps this lifetime is all about overcoming our 'fears'? Thus enabling our ability to recover very quickly from whatever befalls us knowing that we are not just a physical body? To be able to appreciate and have the right intent on having a smooth cross-over to our next destination? Like knowing HOW to die/pass over seamlessly whatever the cause may be - we have to go somehow anyway? To ensure we tie up all loose ends so any day is a good day to 'die' leaving no regrets or trauma or longings because knowledge of the universal picture can teach us that we 'lose' nothing - ever.

Ironically another synchronistic event occurred today - my mum just told me that I have a £15k pension death fund I can assign to anyone - so whether it is still there when necessary is not what I was excited about - it was the fact that the universe acknowledged I was thinking of putting all this behind me! Of course we miss our true home but I also wish to complete what I wanted to achieve down here for as long as I am able to! OK of course we all baulk at the idea of any physical pain or what we would call a shocking experience however in the grand scheme of things we don't know how long we would actually be physically conscious of it. Nobody has ever come back to report whether it actually was interminable? Laura crashed face on the floor - what exactly was this ecstacy and knowing how much Laura loves and fights for her children how come in a split second at that time she chose to jump rather than run to them? Was there a knowing that they would be in good hands? Did she automatically at that split second know that she would always see them again and always be close to them anyway? The worst dilemma otherwise - same as in Sophie's Choice IMO. Perhaps knowing that all culminates in peace and tranquility for higher frequency beings in 5D may be a possible reason? This is purely subjective to me - a kinda inner knowing which I could not explain/give to anyone else as we all have to learn individually. But I certainly wish to now help educate my family on all the reasons not to mourn my passing when it happens! Because for me there is absolutely nothing to mourn but everything to celebrate - so why should there be fear?

The C's talk about JOY in life so do we currently do enough of what gives us joy? Certainly we don't wish to be the round peg in the round hole that 4D try to create for us as slaves - as much as we can avoid it. Personally I feel that being the opposite - being different in mode from the crowd helps Cosmic Mind experience itself in far more diverse ways. I still have a certain internal reluctance - maybe lack of true understanding - concerning the intentional suffering Gurdjieff mentions for this reason - especially when the C's say learning is fun. I hope someone can explain this further - unless it is all about perspective again and how we 'view' the work and what level we are at. Which I would be lucky if I could even call myself 'apprentice' at this stage. Seeing others suffer on our planet is suffering enough! If I can 'assist' just one person somehow - in any way - on a daily basis then I feel my day has been worthwhile. Is Gurdjieff's 4th Way the only/best way or are our latest psychology books a similar way? They don't mention suffering per e but we all know what a dark night of the soul is. Exchanging old habits/addictions for good/beneficial ones? Valley of Sorrow - this in itself can have many connotations too.

Again the meanings of happiness and joy pertaining to the work and the C's will be more like an inner contentment rather than the usual materialistic implications we see spouted on a daily basis by MSM. But on the other side of the coin I found that depression is a learning process yet ultimately it serves no-one. OSIT.

Mod Note: Deleted duplicate paragraphs

Well it is not over until it is over - and the future is always open. Every single one of us on the planet is actually on the hero's journey they just never woke up to realize it yet. So there is always plenty of knowledge and learning available for those few that waken - and that pertains throughout the entire universe! So

 

[Neil]

For me, considering 3D reality in vacuum leads to nihilistic thoughts. The world sucks, it has always sucked, and it always will suck. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, what's the point? It's the same stupid cycle over and over again. But Earth is not the universe, and there are other cycles with other possibilities.

So why was this chosen? An exercise I sometimes do is try to view things from a hypothetical 5D perspective. If you are STS, you rape and pillage, in some form or fashion to sustain yourself. Perhaps your soul is not entirely happy with this alignment, but it was the way that was learned, and it has become somewhat entrenched in your behavior. Perhaps the soul is aware of the STO alignment, but some difficult lessons have to be learned in order to change ones crystallization and not be a raper and pillager.

If the meaning of life, to paraphrase the Cassiopaeans a bit, is "teaching, sharing, assisting," you have to get yourself into a position where you can do these things and appreciate what STO has to offer. Staring into the abyss of 3D STS reality gives you the capacity to empathize with other beings who must also face it. Personally experiencing that reality will give you a way to connect with those others on a deeper level because you will remember how you felt and understand how they feel. Without this experience, when you go to teach and assist, there is no understanding which can be "seated" in the heart and all you have is a theoretical knowledge of it which seems detached from practical experience. It forces you to reflect on yourself and make changes in order to be more effective at teaching sharing and assisting. In a hypothetical future reality, how could you advise beings who are less advanced than you on how to escape a totalitarian system when you have never done this yourself?

Another major lesson in the STS vs STO duality is giving to all who ask vs determining the needs of another. It took me awhile to wrap my brain around it, but I think we are so "powerless" in this realm for a reason. In this reality, everyone is determining the needs of another. Everyone knows what's better for everyone else while their own lives atrophy still further. Sometimes these people are truly evil, trying to twist it all around to their own ends, but oftentimes the road to hell is paved with good intentions. The big truth behind all of this seems to be that learning does not really occur without freewill. And when freewill is abridged, or given away to mechanical processes, the end result is entropy and complete dissolution if the process goes on long enough. This is probably the most important concept to be learned from STS. So we work on giving what is asked for when it is asked, and respecting the wishes of others to choose what they want as long as it doesn't violate our freewill, even if we don't agree with it and know it won't turn out like they hope, because ultimately that is the only way the lessons are learned. When these lessons are learned, you become eligible to move into a different realm and to "teach, share, and assist" on a different level. But this understanding is not really gained by sitting on cloud 9 listening to some sage explain it to you, you have to live it.

All of this is not a magic bullet that will make the depression go away. Sometimes it still seems there is an insurmountable wall between here and there, but it gives you something to ponder when you are less identified with your suffering. Yes, this world is probably doomed no matter what we do, but as others have said, that is not the end of the story. For me it gives a certain context to my suffering, so that even if I am temporarily in a reality where I don't really matter and make much of a difference, it is not meaningless in the scope of my broader existence and evolution.

 

[Skyalmian]

In the face of evil there is this 'ecstasy' word that crops up from the C's that maybe should warrant some further research?
Appreciate our surroundings - even in the slums 'beauty' can be found in simple gestures, people, an unexpected flower striving against impossible odds.

The 'ecstasy' component has been neat. The continuous mental, emotional, physical hardship and perpetual stress, combined with ongoing EE and iodine detox longterm has resulted in a strange euphoria, exhilaration state of alertness dimmed by chronic exhaustion that could be said to run soul deep. As bad as things are and have been for me (since 2013), everything has been so far out there to have ended up fascinating and unforgettable in many ways (experiences that maybe could be measured in gold). Depression and associated low feeling states have been a part of the process, flaring up at various times, but they usually only accompany empty zones and states of passive powerlessness.

I'm actually objectively excited for all the upcoming apocalyptic events like Plague Time (am I insane for being excited to be infected?), the ice age, cometary bombardment, and all the other amazing things heading this way. :) Looking at it all as a continuous growth / self-improvement opportunity helps a lot, as things seem to / may be compressed at times.

Continuously working on psychologically detaching / distancing self from humanity's collective fate / outcome helps, e.g. the human race's state is not my fault.

 

[luke wilson]

On hope:

Riddle me this: The sun rose today and so did we. If today exists for us, then also do the possibilities that it holds. Amongst those possibilities are things that we would like to see happen e.g. for there to be a better world. Therefore, it appears that hope is built into the fabric of reality. Hope exists as a possibility. When that possibility changes to reality, then what we experience as real is not hope.

So when you say there is no hope, essentially you are saying that there is no possibility of something happening. But how can there be no possibility of something happening, if the ground and space of which that thing could happen exists in reality?

The problem is not hope. The problem is choices. Choices are not just things that you decide on a day to day by what you do e.g. whether to buy product A or B, they are also things that you decide by what you don't do. Things that you decide by what you know and also what you don't. Things that you decide today and things that you decided yesterday. Choices are not simple but probably form a complex web of decisions, actions taken and not taken that coalesce into what you experience as reality.

However hope exists as long as the ground and space for its manifestation does.

Abstract much... Eh...