Just had a terrifying experience

[seek10]

Hi all

I've just had a terrifying experience in the middle of the night which I need to share.

On waking up I was trembling and felt the presence of something really nasty in the room. I suspect I was in a state something akin to medical shock as I couldn't stop shaking and just felt really scared. I started to do some pipe breaths to try and calm myself down but this didn't work at all and I then started to realise that there was 'something' around/inside my chest/heart chakra from which this was emanating.

I then started to do prayer of the soul. Well, I can tell you, whatever this thing was did not like it. I started feeling a little better as soon as I started the prayer but then half way through, started shaking really violently all over whilst felt there started to be a huge concentration of pressure around my chest. It wasn't physical pressure, more like the most extreme negative energy that you could imagine gathering in a ball around that area. This was accompanied by something like extreme gosebumps all over my body, except they felt energetic and not physical if that makes sense. I just want to say here that this was not a panic attack, I've had them before and this was not remotely similar.

I managed to get out of bed, roll a cigarette and carrying on pipe breathing. I started the POTS again but had the same reaction and my body just went into complete spasm's and had to stop. After pipe breathing for a while I felt a little better and I then started talking to this 'thing' (Iknow, I hope you don't think I'm insane), saying that it was a violation of my free will, I wanted it out/away and I was conciously requesting that it leave as it had no right to interact with me in this manner. This provoked exactly the same reaction, namely sending my body in spasms and just feeling this incredibly powerful negative energy around me. so I just carried on with the pipe breath until I was able to come and post here.

thank you pai for sharing your experience. I had similar issues you mentioned here, rather all the time. I couldn't get control of this phenomenon after all these years. 5 years back I used to wake up with this type of attack and I used to do meditation, that used to help. then slowly thought loops corrupts the mental defenses . Stupidity of my life is , If 3 or 4 days is good , I drop defenses. It's back with vengeance and drains me of every thing filling me with Narcissistic draining self destructive patterns.

Now a days, I wake up in the night, as if some body is attacking with heavy pressure( or please) to close the eyes and I use POTS from my mp3 player. It works as long as I am awake, some times I am lazy to get up, pay the price . some times I wake up, but I will sit in front of computer doing one thing or other and then find my self fighting some thing that is pushing me to sleep and find my self sleeping in front of the computer, after initial resistance. I wake up after 10 minutes, as if some thing relieved in me or released from me with out a trace of any struggle and wondering why I struggle to awake, but with a gut feeling that I am drained. Some times I divert my self with daily chores, but I go through the same experience, once I sit down to do some thing like reading or thinking etc. It is frustrating and filled with guilt and shame and intense palpitations. It happens when there is some progress for sure , otherwise too.

As for as childhood memories goes, I had memories of 'being scared to sleep' when I was 7 or 8 yrs old, because when I was sleeping, one of the wall used to become orange and open it self , small gray size being used walk me between the walls and I used to go protesting and damn scared. I am not sure of authenticity of this memory, but these memories got buried until 7 or 8 back, came to my attention after I started reading laura's abduction series.

5 or 6 yrs back, I used to wake up in sleep as if some body is very very angry at me and kicks me with the leg for going beyond the set controls. It doesn't need to be super natural, it could be my own 3D experience it self.

 

[RedFox]

Just wanted to add that I had a very similar experience to both your brother Pai and your experience Seek10 (small creatures with black eyes coming through the wall....the wall appeared transparent and glowing) when I was small (3-5 years old)....I was wide awake when that happened.
Not knowing what they where I sat up and said 'hello' in a friendly way like any kid would to anyone new.....that was before the fear hit me.

Now a days, I wake up in the night, as if some body is attacking with heavy pressure( or please) to close the eyes and I use POTS from my mp3 player. It works as long as I am awake, some times I am lazy to get up, pay the price . some times I wake up, but I will sit in front of computer doing one thing or other and then find my self fighting some thing that is pushing me to sleep and find my self sleeping in front of the computer, after initial resistance. I wake up after 10 minutes, as if some thing relieved in me or released from me with out a trace of any struggle and wondering why I struggle to awake, but with a gut feeling that I am drained. Some times I divert my self with daily chores, but I go through the same experience, once I sit down to do some thing like reading or thinking etc. It is frustrating and filled with guilt and shame and intense palpitations. It happens when there is some progress for sure , otherwise too.

fwiw I have been through the exact same thing as you seek10...I posted about it (2 years ago no less!) in Prolonged attack and countering it.
I was coming at it from a new age perspective, and using energetic/mental blocking techniques to stop my 'energy being drained'.
Well what I learnt in the course of that thread and subsequently was that dealing with tangible things (mental and emotional health, as well as physical health through diet and meditation) produces far better and longer lasting (if not entirely permanent when combines with knowledge that you can apply) protection from such things.
Reading the psychology books and applying them to myself, going gluten/dairy/sugar free has pretty much got rid of these kinds of attacks/draining situations.
The realisation that worrying or fighting through fear (becoming fearful of the next attack and reacting out of that fear) just provided food to the attacker. So did dispairing and giving up. Focusing on my emotions and thoughts and self observing what was going on inside me at the time of these events helped clear things up too...what thoughts and emotions helped or hindered the situation.
I can't say for sure, but I'm pretty much sure that these things can't exert much influence on us if there is nothing to influence.....that is, if we are wounded (emotionally) they can manipulate us by using those wounds against us....if we have no wounds (and better self awareness) there is little they can do. fwiw

Seek10 how are you doing with the recommended psychology books and the gluten/dairy free diet??

5 or 6 yrs back, I used to wake up in sleep as if some body is very very angry at me and kicks me with the leg for going beyond the set controls. It doesn't need to be super natural, it could be my own 3D experience it self.

Ah! I use to have that happen a lot when I was a kid (4-7 years old...I don't remember exactly). I learnt what it was (to some extent) in the end because I woke up during one of those experiences before being 'kicked'. Turns out that there was something semi-physical that would creep into my bed (about the size of a grape fruit)....it would sit by my feet and would 'kick'/shock me or shake the bed covers if I moved/was not afraid (obviously its presence generated fear).
I never thought realised it until just writing this, but presumably something like this (after initial traumatising events/abductions) would be all that was required to trigger the wound of the initial event and siphon off more primal fear??? Either that or it was just a rather hefty spirit attachment? I never did work out what exactly it was related to.
I know it was physical because of the cover shaking, the sound of it hitting my floor with a 'thud' when I'd moved enough for it to leave my bed (it wanted me still and asleep, or fearful and still....but mostly just still).....
When I was about 13/14 years old (I've posted this before) I woke up on a weekend at about 5/6am (with sunshine coming through the curtains) only to be drifting happily back off to sleep....to notice my feet started to feel weightless (0 gravity) and had a slightly cool breeze moving past them....then I noticed what felt like highly charged static electricity (what I would call 'energy' or qi) move past them (I was wide awake at this point) to then notice (with great terror) something moving up my covers coming to rest on my chest/heart area. Wide awake, heart pumping, adrenalin going....laid on my back with this 'thing' emanating energy sat on my chest.....
I didn't know what the hell to do!
So I slowly moved my hand towards it (it would move back/move/vibrate if I moved the covers to much.....so it was probably the same 'thing' from when I was a kid).....got my hand closer and closer....the energy it was producing felt like static/qi and got thicker and heavier the closer my hand got to it....like it was solid but less solid the further away you are from it/more solid closer to it.....well it eventually noticed, and its energy changed (like the sun suddenly going dark) and it lifted and inch or two off my and with a rush of coldness traveled down to my feet and hit the floor with a 'thud' and I could hear it roll across my floor for a few seconds.
After what seemed like an eternity (I had my eyes wide open the whole time) I looked over the side of the bed....nothing there....got up and looked outside (to check I wasn't dreaming)....bright sunshine that hurt my eyes.....read a few lines from a book (to check I wasn't dreaming)....pinched myself....nope...wide awake and all to real.
Needless to say that one event messed me up for some years......I kept experiencing sleep paralysis after that and 'it' kept showing up then. But as I was in an altered state of consciousness (not quite awake) I never knew if it was real or imagined from then on.

Having been through all that (just to reiterate the point) the recommended psychology books, good diet/health and the E-E program have been the three things that have stopped things like this reoccurring (by healing the emotional wounds they caused).....that's not to say (like a few weeks ago) they don't show up from time to time.....but when they do I give them hell.

The thing concerns me about the other nights attack was the feeling that there was something actually inside me that needed to come out and it seemed like it would hold on to the bitter end rather than leave. I'm definitely going to have a delve into the area of Spirit attachment to see what may be bothering me. I seem to remember Laura saying that William Baldwin's book was quite decent though it has very christian bias but if anyone else has any specific knowledge or recommendations I'd be grateful. I'm going to get the bottom of all this and seem remember the C's saying that any ailment can be confronted and overcome with the right application inward and outwardly (or words to that effect) which is encouraging.

I can't say for sure (all situations are different) but have you considered that the feeling of "not wanting to let it go/continues because you'll die" may be its feelings on the subject of being kicked out?? Don't assume that they are just your feelings....but conversely don't assume your feelings are not correct. I'm not expert so don't know how much physical danger the situation could entail to yourself, but always keep in mind what is yours and what is 'its'.

 

[GAIA]

Hi Pai
I'm glad that you posted your terrifying experience and reading the posts from the others made me remember my teens when I had some similiar episodes.

I had a couple of times right before going to sleep or after waking up from a nightmare that I would feel an entity in the room.
When the entity would come I would feel my stomach drop and a deep shiver would run up my spine giving me goose bumps and making me shake all over. Man
was I afraid! Or sometimes after a nightmare I would be paralysed unable to move my body during the experience. I definitely spent some nights awake out of fear!

But the thing that worked for me was standing my ground and telling them that they had no right to be there and I comanded them to leave at the same time I imagined being in a bubble where they couldn't get in. (which grew and grew until the house was inside)In the end they always left.
I can't tell you what's right to do I can only share my experience which has a little similarity.

All I can say that this was a period where I was deeply into the esoteric and doing meditation and trying OOBE (out of body experience). A few years later I did a lot of moving and dewlt in the material world for a while and these experiences stopped.

Strength and courage and try not to be afraid ;) Don't let this deter you in your quest for knowledge.

 

[lostinself]

hi NSD,

I know the feeling of that experience and remember it good and asking myself can this happen again. Starts like yours Pai, I was in my parents house alone and all was good till after midnight i fall in sleep on sofa in living room with TV and some light on, and i dreamed many times good dreams an bad and i know how it looks real dream but this was real or i think that is like real. I open my eyes an look on wall clock and see that i wake up early only slept 2 hours then i notice women in living room standing like she was waiting me to wake up, immediately i asked her what she doing here and how she get inside an who is she in same time i was approaching and put arms on her shoulders she smiled only then in same time i notice lights outside like some more people come near house with cars, she say to me that some people waiting us outside and she started to go to main door, i didn't wanted to go an i was puling her to stay inside and explain me who is she and who wait us outside, i can hear some noises from outside of house.Near door i noticed that something is wrong and then started strange fear and i wake up with that fear and i could not sleep and i didn't calm down till day light. that was last summer and when i share this fear coming up. Intresting is that all in this "dream" was like in real interior of house, lights and time on clock. What i notice when fear was coming up is that some brick's was missing in house interior because of that i forced to wake up or whatever. I didn't speak to much about that experience till now and don't know what happened and what was meaning of that experience.

putting aside the unusual realism of your experience, there seems to be good possibility that it carries some important symbolic content that may reflect your inner state to some extent. maybe it's worthwhile to analyze it a bit?

a house in many cases represents our "daily" self and sense of stability. a woman met in the dream often relates to the emotional-intuitive ("irrational") side of man's psyche. the whole situation in your dream may reflect some kind of inner struggle concerning these two aspects - the lack of trust in the feminine side while giving much value to things like safety and stability, for example. in the dream you assumed that going outside the house with the woman wasn't a good thing to do and that those who were waiting there could be malevolent. maybe this was not the case? you tried to keep this woman inside, and also put arms on her shoulders, so you didn't perceive her as an enemy. but, in the same time, you didn't trust in what she was doing.

these are just some thoughts that occured to me while reading your post. i don't want to suggest any readymade interpretation in any way; i just hope to provide some inspiration. you seem to perceive your dream through the feeling of strong fear that caused you to wake up (which actually may have been a sleep-paralysis kind of thing) but earlier emotions were important as well.

 

[seek10]

Just wanted to add that I had a very similar experience to both your brother Pai and your experience Seek10 (small creatures with black eyes coming through the wall....the wall appeared transparent and glowing) when I was small (3-5 years old)....I was wide awake when that happened.
Not knowing what they where I sat up and said 'hello' in a friendly way like any kid would to anyone new.....that was before the fear hit me.

Now a days, I wake up in the night, as if some body is attacking with heavy pressure( or please) to close the eyes and I use POTS from my mp3 player. It works as long as I am awake, some times I am lazy to get up, pay the price . some times I wake up, but I will sit in front of computer doing one thing or other and then find my self fighting some thing that is pushing me to sleep and find my self sleeping in front of the computer, after initial resistance. I wake up after 10 minutes, as if some thing relieved in me or released from me with out a trace of any struggle and wondering why I struggle to awake, but with a gut feeling that I am drained. Some times I divert my self with daily chores, but I go through the same experience, once I sit down to do some thing like reading or thinking etc. It is frustrating and filled with guilt and shame and intense palpitations. It happens when there is some progress for sure , otherwise too.

fwiw I have been through the exact same thing as you seek10...I posted about it (2 years ago no less!) in Prolonged attack and countering it.


Seek10 how are you doing with the recommended psychology books and the gluten/dairy free diet??

Thank your asking this question, I read all the books and felt good improvement , but some how I lost of lots of it. I have been thinking of rereading them for quite some time, some I reread it. This should be my first priority. I was going through lot of disassociation, and victim identification programs, it created enough problems. I need to write a mirroring post, which I have been postponing for a long time.

Yes, I am on gluten/dairy /sugar/soy/veg. oil free diet for some time. once in month or two I end up violating it when I end up going out with others,particularly last month. I did couple of rounds of candida control with nystatin usage and got DSMA , I need to start that any time.

 

[Lizziespreparetogovegan]

Hi all

Well, I've had another few episodes in a similar vein over the last few weeks and I'd like to discuss them here individually. I apologise in advance for the length of this post and although some of it may or may not be relevant, the three quite different incidents seem to be connected.

I went on holiday to Spain about 4 weeks back and the first episode happened the night before I left. I spent the evening packing my rucksack and decided afterwards to do EE before bed as I felt it would put me in a healthy state for travel the following day.

The session didn't go very well at all from the outset. I felt generally distracted during the Pipe Breathing and throughout the round breathing I felt weak and my breathing felt very shallow, as if I couldn't get enough breath into my lungs. During the POTS I was still unable to either concentrate on breathing or 'zone out' naturally and started to get quite horrible images in my mind, mutilated bodies, frightening faces etc. It's worth noting that this has also probably happened once or twice before during POTS.At this point I was un-phased although a little irritated but I tried just to observe the images coming forth without judgement whilst still trying my best to focus on the words, particularly 'help me grow in knowledge of all creation' which seemed pertinent considering the images that were presenting themselves.

It was only after POTS finished that I knew something was definitely up. I put down my ipod and turned out the light. For about 30 seconds I felt a growing sense of anxiety and the presence of the negative energy which I described in the first post of this thread. Describing it again, I will say that it is extremely cold, energetic, and aggressive.

I then felt a huge surge in the power of this energy which pretty much made me jump out of the bed. It was very much as if something had entered me, possibly from behind. My immediate overwhelming feeling was to do something physically aggressive to whatever was in the vicinity and I had a flashing thought of either jumping out of the window or causing some harm to my mother who was visiting at the time and was asleep in the spare room (my wife and son were at her parents and we were to meet at the Airport the next day). The energy I was experiencing was simply horrible and very overpowering.

Fortunately I managed to get myself under some form control and lay back down. As with the initial episode I described, I began pipe breathing, reciting POTS and as someone suggested in this thread, thinking and focusing on the group here. This seemed to help somewhat but I was still surrounded by this energy which has the effect of causing severe body tremors and shaking. The surge which made me jump was definitely the peak of the experience and after a few minutes of lying down I started trying to observe what was happening. As well as the above strategies, I attempted to focus on my heart and slowing it down as I felt that the tremors may be due purely to panic. After getting my breathing under control, and feeling that my heart was at a reasonably slow pace, the tremors didn't really abate. I remember thinking my legs looked like moving water in that they seemed to be undulating and rippling.

Thankfully, the presence of the energy only seemed to last for about 15 minutes or so and afterward I was able to lie down and sleep quite soundly till the following morning. In terms of comparison to the first event reported a few months back, I would say that it certainly didn't last as long. The sudden surge which literally seemed to 'possess' me in an instant was more intense than the previous occasion but overall I would say the experience was slightly less frightening, purely because it was 'familiar'. I think definitely the fact that I'd communicated it to the group and it'd been suggested that I think of the group if it happened again was a big help in terms of coping at the time although I was still damn scared. Whilst I say that the experience was familiar, of course the main difference this time was that this happened to me whilst in a waking state and of course the one from a few months back I had awoken from a nightmare.

I actually felt ok the day aferwards without any lingering after effects and was just relieved really to see my family at the airport and get away.

So, a few days on in Spain. This time it was a dream. It was a long and convoluted one but I'll just pick out the relevant points. It all took place at the top of the road where I grew up in West London and involved my ex girlfriend. In real life, this is someone I lived with for about a year in my mid twenties and it was a horrendous experience/relationship. She seemed 'normal' when we first got together but it later transpired that she was a very disturbed individual and was extremely possessive/jealous, threatening, full of rage, suicidal and also physically violent with me. She had been severely emotionally abused as a child and knowing what I know now, she basically had severe Personality Disorder.

On to the dream: I met her at the park at the top of my road where I grew up and my four year old son was present with us. She was beautiful and happy with none of her real life traits and had established a kind of outdoor commune looking after young children. The atmosphere was very pleasant and felt 'creative'. After many inexplicable events which I wont go into she led us into some kind of dark underground cavern where I realised that she had set a trap for us and I knew I had to get myself and my son out of there for fear of our lives. After being chased by 'something' for some time we were eventually cornered again at the top of my old road by what I can only describe as a gang of about 12 possessed teenage youths who were threatening to kill us. I was extremely frightened.

The culmination of the dream involved (and I hate to even write this) my son being raped by these individuals and I was helpless to stop them. Whilst this was going on, a bus arrived and I was convinced that if I could get inside and get in the driving seat I could get us out of this horrific situation. I managed to get into the bus and was elated for a brief moment before realising that this was another trap and the bus then proceeded to crush me to death, closing in to kill me. At the moment when I would have died and the bus was completely crushing me, I woke up.

Now I don't view this dream as a form of 'attack' purely on its content alone. Looking at what I've written, it's of course possible that this nightmare was indeed emanating from my own subconscious mind and internal fears if I consider purely the horrible content. But it was more the particular 'flavour' of the dream which is impossible to convey in writing that makes me inclined to view it as an attack. It left me with a certain taste in my mouth so to speak and the morning after I felt very drained and distinctly physically unwell, not to mention extremely disturbed. It just felt all too overwhelming after the episode a few days before and my general impression was that something was trying to completely break me. I felt totally dejected to be honest and was having very negative thoughts for a few hours of leaving the FOTCM, forgetting about the work and just generally going back to my old life again. But, I pulled myself together (again ), had a cry on my Wife's shoulder and managed to do a session of EE.

Whether this nightmare was attack or not, I simply can't say for sure but I lean towards the idea that it was. The truth is I just don't know. If I can report any saving grace from these episodes it's that generally the recovery from them for me has been quite swift. After my EE session the morning after the nightmare I felt 'half normal' and a few hours after that I felt actually quite strong and focused emotionally and the negative thoughts had completely abated. But I suppose the horror is that in the present tense moments of such episodes, I am completely 'alone' and there is at that point no guarantee of when/if that feeling will subside.

So, to the day before yesterday and another dream. This one was completely abstract but involved the oh so familiar feeling of being unable to move and something trying to pull me out of body several times in the night. I have experienced this feeling all throughout my life and goes back to early childhood when the sensation was accompanied by being actually outside my body, floating above it. Describing the sensation, I would say that it's basically an unpleasant feeling of being frozen, unable to move but with an intense 'G-Force' sensation as if one was on a Roller-coaster and somehow becoming separated from part of one's self. Again, the morning after (yesterday) I felt very unwell with loose bowels all day and simply no energy and very low in mood. I was very upset to find my son sitting on the 'naughty chair' when I went to pick him up from Nursery later on. Apparently his behavior had been awful all morning, pushing other children and grabbing them round the neck. His teacher said that she'd never seen his behavior like this and he ended up on the naughty chair as he had just pushed a disabled child over in the playground for no reason. This really kicked off some narcissistic programs in me as well as general depression and paranoia about possible interference with my son from STS entities and the rest of the day was just miserable.

So, that's me, I don't know what else I can say but it's all getting a bit much really. It's a real shame because between these episodes I feel like there's been some genuine progress made. I'm doing EE twice a week which has given me some incredible (positive) experiences and been of huge practical help, am Gluten/dairy free and free and I've come some way at least in self observation and identifying narcissistic programs. I know that I've got a very long way to go and have identified many emotional issues I need to address as my journey continues but as soon as I feel I'm getting on top of things I seem to get dragged back down by all this.

Anyway, I've decided to give Spirit Releasement Therapy a go. I feel there may be something lingering that needs to be expunged and whilst I can't really attribute any of the above episodes solely to 'Spirit Attatchments', my intuition leads me to believe at this stage I feel it's something worthwhile pursuing purely in terms of leaving no stone unturned on the path.

Having read this back, perhaps this entire thread should go in 'The Swamp'? Again, apologies for the length of this post but I really just needed to get all of this off my chest and as always, it feels slightly better just expressing it here.

Andrew

 

[Ares]

Hi Pai thank you for sharing your experiences, this provides food for thought for us all, especially to those of us who have never had such experiences. They do sound frightening.
In my limited experience this may be something that is part of you (at some level?) that you may need to cast aside, however only you can truly tell what it is and what it feels like. Perhaps Laura and the elders can provide more insight into what should be done at when something like this happens.
All I can say at this point is have courage and stand firm.

 

[RedFox]

Hi Andrew

Sorry to hear your having a rough time of it at the moment.
First things first, I think that you should stop the Ba-Ha/round breathing section of the E-E program. At least for a few weeks to see if things quieten down.
Negative images, nightmares and out of body experiences have all been reported by people doing E-E (even if they had a history of such things before) and (as far as I know) have all quietened down when they stopped doing the round breathing.
I've had to adopt this approach myself, and can say that it is definitely working for me.

From what I have read (and looking back over your first experience) you seem to be dealing with the situation remarkably well, and in a very positive manor! I'm not sure you can see that from where you are, but I really am impressed with how well you have adapted to this in such a short period of time! :)
Progress in the work is a spiral path, and sometimes it feels like we are going backwards...when in fact we are just going forwards, but I perspective hasn't changed to accommodate the new situation (that and we may have been tricked into the wrong perspective).

Now, with that in mind perhaps you can step back and look at what you have written as if it was written by someone else? What emotions is this person experiencing? What are they thinking and feeling? What data or patterns in these events can be gathered? It is surprising what can be seen/learnt when we do this (usually after sharing the experience to help get some emotional relief, which is a good thing).

During the POTS I was still unable to either concentrate on breathing or 'zone out' naturally and started to get quite horrible images in my mind, mutilated bodies, frightening faces etc. It's worth noting that this has also probably happened once or twice before during POTS.At this point I was un-phased although a little irritated but I tried just to observe the images coming forth without judgement whilst still trying my best to focus on the words, particularly 'help me grow in knowledge of all creation' which seemed pertinent considering the images that were presenting themselves.

As I said before, the images can be brought up by doing the Ba-Ha portion of the program, so its best to stop that for now.
Despite the emotional content of the images (fear, shock and disgusts I would think) they can be a normal part of the E-E program, and are nothing to worry about as they will pass....it is just things being processed, in this case by being given a visual/emotional form (like in a dream) and brought to awareness.....this processing is can occur subconsciously or through dreams too....but if it is to much to handle dropping the Ba-Ha portion will see this occurrences reduce/stop. Reducing the number of times you do the full program will also slow/stop these occurrences.....for me it came out more as physical symptoms (severe fatigue and emotional instability) rather than emotion/visual images.
Being a little irritated by this is understandable, but should be considered in context...the E-E program is about healing and reintegration of the self....irritation is a form of rejection, so may have caused a slight stalemate between what you wanted to achieve (healing/integration) and what happened.....this may also be why you didn't zone out. Something to consider in future sessions.

Do you do the POTS every night before sleep?

It was only after POTS finished that I knew something was definitely up. I put down my ipod and turned out the light. For about 30 seconds I felt a growing sense of anxiety and the presence of the negative energy which I described in the first post of this thread. Describing it again, I will say that it is extremely cold, energetic, and aggressive.

With the context above as a guide I can draw to conclusions from this.
The stirred up emotions and conflict with integrating them was the probable cause......what you then felt however could have been something coming to feed on these stirred up emotions (using the gap created by the conflict with self acceptance), or it could simply have been all you. The energy being the emotions, and the conflict with acceptance creating the appearance of separateness. Of something 'not you'. Perhaps it is even a mix of the two? Or perhaps something is trying to convince you it is external to stop you integrating??

What do you notice if you work with the hypothesis that these feelings/emotions where yours alone??

I then felt a huge surge in the power of this energy which pretty much made me jump out of the bed. It was very much as if something had entered me, possibly from behind. My immediate overwhelming feeling was to do something physically aggressive to whatever was in the vicinity and I had a flashing thought of either jumping out of the window or causing some harm to my mother who was visiting at the time and was asleep in the spare room (my wife and son were at her parents and we were to meet at the Airport the next day). The energy I was experiencing was simply horrible and very overpowering.

Again I can draw two conclusion from this. Either this was something external influencing you.....or the your stirred up emotional energy (which had to go somewhere as it was not accepted by yourself and was being identified as 'not you') discharged through you the only way it could (like lightning hitting the nearest available lightning rod), through the activation of programs.

What do can you observe about yourself if you consider the latter to be the correct hypothesis? Could this be a better way for the emotional energy to earth itself?

Fortunately I managed to get myself under some form control and lay back down. As with the initial episode I described, I began pipe breathing, reciting POTS and as someone suggested in this thread, thinking and focusing on the group here. This seemed to help somewhat but I was still surrounded by this energy which has the effect of causing severe body tremors and shaking. The surge which made me jump was definitely the peak of the experience and after a few minutes of lying down I started trying to observe what was happening. As well as the above strategies, I attempted to focus on my heart and slowing it down as I felt that the tremors may be due purely to panic. After getting my breathing under control, and feeling that my heart was at a reasonably slow pace, the tremors didn't really abate. I remember thinking my legs looked like moving water in that they seemed to be undulating and rippling.

Thankfully, the presence of the energy only seemed to last for about 15 minutes or so and afterward I was able to lie down and sleep quite soundly till the following morning.

It may be worth mentioning that many of my positive experiences (especially the intense or energetic ones where I can feel a huge flow of energy through myself) tend to last about 15 minutes, the only way to stop them is to get up and walk about osit. They can also start suddenly, with a surge/jolt.
fwiw I think you did the right thing.

So, a few days on in Spain. This time it was a dream. It was a long and convoluted one but I'll just pick out the relevant points. It all took place at the top of the road where I grew up in West London and involved my ex girlfriend. In real life, this is someone I lived with for about a year in my mid twenties and it was a horrendous experience/relationship. She seemed 'normal' when we first got together but it later transpired that she was a very disturbed individual and was extremely possessive/jealous, threatening, full of rage, suicidal and also physically violent with me. She had been severely emotionally abused as a child and knowing what I know now, she basically had severe Personality Disorder.

On to the dream: I met her at the park at the top of my road where I grew up and my four year old son was present with us. She was beautiful and happy with none of her real life traits and had established a kind of outdoor commune looking after young children. The atmosphere was very pleasant and felt 'creative'. After many inexplicable events which I wont go into she led us into some kind of dark underground cavern where I realised that she had set a trap for us and I knew I had to get myself and my son out of there for fear of our lives. After being chased by 'something' for some time we were eventually cornered again at the top of my old road by what I can only describe as a gang of about 12 possessed teenage youths who were threatening to kill us. I was extremely frightened.

The culmination of the dream involved (and I hate to even write this) my son being raped by these individuals and I was helpless to stop them. Whilst this was going on, a bus arrived and I was convinced that if I could get inside and get in the driving seat I could get us out of this horrific situation. I managed to get into the bus and was elated for a brief moment before realising that this was another trap and the bus then proceeded to crush me to death, closing in to kill me. At the moment when I would have died and the bus was completely crushing me, I woke up.

Wow, what a horrible dream! :(
Ok, so the first part of the dream (on the surface in the camp for children). You are there with your own child (this could be symbolic of your own inner child/you in the past). This may be more important to consider as the dream starts and ends with a setting from your past.
The person you are with is known to be unstable and wounded......so she may or may not represent a threat, or be symbolic of emotional trauma.

The cave (where you realise its a trap)....the basement or generally going 'down' in a dream usually indicates the subconscious or buried aspects of the self.....this is the place where parts of yourself are buried.
What emotions did you feel in this place???? Did those emotions find the nearest 'lightning rod' again?? i.e. programs (in this case 'run for your life').
If it was anxiety, look back at what you wrote about doing the POTS above.....when did you feel the anxiety then?? Was it the same emotions?? Hostile? Cold?

I recognise this being chased by 'something' from myself very well....I've come to understand that I 'run' in dreams when I am avoiding my emotions....it is a program that stops me having to experience the pain of them first hand. A useful psychological defence if you are a child and unable to understand these things at the time.

The emotions that come through at the end (again the violent images strike me as similar to those from when you did the POTS), your (inner) child being violated (ignoring the specific act, the emotions are the important part to extract here).....and the overwhelming sense of powerlessness that goes along with all acts of violation.
And in trying to escape these emotions, you are finally cornered completely by them.....and are destroyed by the crushing weight of them......or at least this is what you perceive to happen.

If you take this and match it to what I saw in your experiences above, I can see an exact parallel.
That is....the unconscious uncovering of burred emotions. The sense that they are 'not you'/a trap! (you could not know this at the time). The fight against 'them'. The crushing from fighting so hard against yourself to bottle them back up (because they are 'not you'/a trap).......it feels like an attack on yourself, because it is an attack on (part) of yourself by (part of) yourself.

I've done this enough times to myself to know that I can make myself extremely ill and even pass out from fighting myself...

That is not to say that there are no spirits or outside elements involved (or inside elements like the predators mind)....but more than likely they keep you scared of this buried part of yourself (your emotions) simply to feed of the never ending internal struggle with self. Free meal to them (they act as other 'lightning rods' to this trapped emotional energy). Perhaps the crushing bus is how your emotions perceive things?
This would be an excellent method of trapping people into turning themselves into a continual source of food....to convince them that there own emotions where the enemy (so they could be fed upon by others).

This is how I perceive these things, but I may just be projecting my own issues here. fwiw

 

[Lizziespreparetogovegan]

Hi Redfox

From what I have read (and looking back over your first experience) you seem to be dealing with the situation remarkably well, and in a very positive manor! I'm not sure you can see that from where you are, but I really am impressed with how well you have adapted to this in such a short period of time! :)
Progress in the work is a spiral path, and sometimes it feels like we are going backwards...when in fact we are just going forwards, but I perspective hasn't changed to accommodate the new situation (that and we may have been tricked into the wrong perspective).

Now, with that in mind perhaps you can step back and look at what you have written as if it was written by someone else? What emotions is this person experiencing? What are they thinking and feeling? What data or patterns in these events can be gathered? It is surprising what can be seen/learnt when we do this (usually after sharing the experience to help get some emotional relief, which is a good thing).

During the POTS I was still unable to either concentrate on breathing or 'zone out' naturally and started to get quite horrible images in my mind, mutilated bodies, frightening faces etc. It's worth noting that this has also probably happened once or twice before during POTS.At this point I was un-phased although a little irritated but I tried just to observe the images coming forth without judgement whilst still trying my best to focus on the words, particularly 'help me grow in knowledge of all creation' which seemed pertinent considering the images that were presenting themselves.

As I said before, the images can be brought up by doing the Ba-Ha portion of the program, so its best to stop that for now.
Despite the emotional content of the images (fear, shock and disgusts I would think) they can be a normal part of the E-E program, and are nothing to worry about as they will pass....it is just things being processed, in this case by being given a visual/emotional form (like in a dream) and brought to awareness.....this processing is can occur subconsciously or through dreams too....but if it is to much to handle dropping the Ba-Ha portion will see this occurrences reduce/stop. Reducing the number of times you do the full program will also slow/stop these occurrences.....for me it came out more as physical symptoms (severe fatigue and emotional instability) rather than emotion/visual images.
Being a little irritated by this is understandable, but should be considered in context...the E-E program is about healing and reintegration of the self....irritation is a form of rejection, so may have caused a slight stalemate between what you wanted to achieve (healing/integration) and what happened.....this may also be why you didn't zone out. Something to consider in future sessions.

Whilst I tried to convey my recent experiences above as un-emotively as possible for my own benefit as much as anything in order to try and 'see' what might be going on, as you say, looking at one's own accounts as if written by someone else can also be a useful tool. In terms of dealing with the situation well, I'm not so sure. I've been somewhat all over the place again over the past few weeks, with varying 'self pity' and anger programs re-surfacing. It's been very difficult to be honest but of course this may or may not be related to the experiences I've described. Ironically, I'm actually feeling on top of the world today for the first time in weeks after doing the full session last night and have that wonderful 'clean' and energised feeling.

I have to say that looking at what I've documented here (as if written by someone else) it would seem that EE round breathing may have had an impact on the imagery that was presenting itself and it would appear entirely possible at first glance to be a likely culprit. My 'gut instinct', fwiw is that the experience immediately afterwards can't be attributed to this. This same ferocious 'cold energy' which made me leap from my bed was identical to the presence that lead me to communicate the original post in this thread and one which is so palpably malevolent that I find it very difficult to accept that it's a part of EE processing /cleansing. But notice here that I'm talking about 'instinct' and 'not wanting' to accept the idea and I can see programs running in myself which are certainly bereft of objectivity as I write. So, I'll consider that perhaps this energy really is my own as I find your assessment is really quite thought provoking:

It was only after POTS finished that I knew something was definitely up. I put down my ipod and turned out the light. For about 30 seconds I felt a growing sense of anxiety and the presence of the negative energy which I described in the first post of this thread. Describing it again, I will say that it is extremely cold, energetic, and aggressive.

With the context above as a guide I can draw to conclusions from this.
The stirred up emotions and conflict with integrating them was the probable cause......what you then felt however could have been something coming to feed on these stirred up emotions (using the gap created by the conflict with self acceptance), or it could simply have been all you. The energy being the emotions, and the conflict with acceptance creating the appearance of separateness. Of something 'not you'. Perhaps it is even a mix of the two? Or perhaps something is trying to convince you it is external to stop you integrating??

I suppose I have to acknowledge the feeding of stirred up emotions idea as a distinct possibilty. You may recall that in my initial post on this thread I described the energy as possibly emanating from myself. The energy/pressure around my chest area was phenomenal and I still believe that had I continued with the POTS that night, then something (whether physical or not) would have exited my chest area. In terms of 'something coming to feed on these stirred up emotions' on this first occasion, could it have been the trauma of the 'terror dream' from which I awoke that attracted the feeding? It's certainly plausible.

And if it is EE that's contributing to this, then the program is certainly far more powerful then I ever imagined. I've had some remarkable experiences/benefits from EE and in some ways regard it as genuinely saving my life as it is the only thing that has managed to stop me craving alcohol in the course of 7-8 long years of trying many avenues (and failing). But these experiences have really been something else. Previous to reading your post here, I had considered the influence of EE on bringing about these experiences but discarded it due to the grossly different nature of anything I had encountered due to EE previously. When I initially started the program I had many bad dreams, but (and this sounds quite perverse) I actually found them quite enjoyable and certainly very cathartic. Whilst the content of the dreams were downright awful, my state of mind was very peaceful throughout, almost as if I was observing them objectively for the purpose of comprehension and the general sense was that they weren't happening to me. I've come to associate these dreams with the 'processing' element of EE. And so perhaps I've been short-sighted here in thinking that this particular category of experience is the only type 'processing' that accompanies the EE experience. Much food for thought here.

What do you notice if you work with the hypothesis that these feelings/emotions where yours alone?

Well Redfox, that's a real look at yourself in the mirror question. :O. On reflection, when I consider all the emotional distress and 'oceans of pain' over the course of this life, then the kind of energy I experienced could indeed be interpreted as a manifestation of their 'totality' if you like. What I notice working with this hypothesis actually is a sense of relief and the thought that I'm not under some kind of attack. But after long consideration of my experiences here, my own hypothesis is that there are factors both within and without occurring. It would be sheer foolishness to consider the answer to my problems to lie solely in visiting a Spirit Releasement Therapist which cost £100. If only things were that simple eh? The pencil point is that whether I've been the subject of attack or not, there are (to me at least) clearly huge negative emotions/programs that are burdening my being and these clearly have to be addressed along with trying SRT s a possible (part) solution. If something is feeding/attacking me then I really need to address what it is in me that is attracting such a dynamic.

Ok, so the first part of the dream (on the surface in the camp for children). You are there with your own child (this could be symbolic of your own inner child/you in the past). This may be more important to consider as the dream starts and ends with a setting from your past.
The person you are with is known to be unstable and wounded......so she may or may not represent a threat, or be symbolic of emotional trauma.

The cave (where you realise its a trap)....the basement or generally going 'down' in a dream usually indicates the subconscious or buried aspects of the self.....this is the place where parts of yourself are buried.
What emotions did you feel in this place???? Did those emotions find the nearest 'lightning rod' again?? i.e. programs (in this case 'run for your life').
If it was anxiety, look back at what you wrote about doing the POTS above.....when did you feel the anxiety then?? Was it the same emotions?? Hostile? Cold?

I recognise this being chased by 'something' from myself very well....I've come to understand that I 'run' in dreams when I am avoiding my emotions....it is a program that stops me having to experience the pain of them first hand. A useful psychological defence if you are a child and unable to understand these things at the time.

The emotions that come through at the end (again the violent images strike me as similar to those from when you did the POTS), your (inner) child being violated (ignoring the specific act, the emotions are the important part to extract here).....and the overwhelming sense of powerlessness that goes along with all acts of violation.
And in trying to escape these emotions, you are finally cornered completely by them.....and are destroyed by the crushing weight of them......or at least this is what you perceive to happen.

If you take this and match it to what I saw in your experiences above, I can see an exact parallel.
That is....the unconscious uncovering of burred emotions. The sense that they are 'not you'/a trap! (you could not know this at the time). The fight against 'them'. The crushing from fighting so hard against yourself to bottle them back up (because they are 'not you'/a trap).......it feels like an attack on yourself, because it is an attack on (part) of yourself by (part of) yourself.

I think this is generally a very decent interpretation of the dream. After gathering my thoughts after I'd written the above post, I concluded too that this was surely all my own subconscious fears at work. As I mentioned, I viewed it as an attack really due to it's proximity to the event a few days prior. A simple analogy would be a man who loses his job and later in the day gets run over by a car. It's all too much for him to handle and he blames God for both, whilst in reality they are two completely separate and unrelated events. Basically putting two and two together and making 5. It's not the first time I've done this and I'm sure it wont be the last.

That is not to say that there are no spirits or outside elements involved (or inside elements like the predators mind)....but more than likely they keep you scared of this buried part of yourself (your emotions) simply to feed of the never ending internal struggle with self. Free meal to them (they act as other 'lightning rods' to this trapped emotional energy). Perhaps the crushing bus is how your emotions perceive things?
This would be an excellent method of trapping people into turning themselves into a continual source of food....to convince them that there own emotions where the enemy (so they could be fed upon by others)

I think you've really hit the nail on the head here Redfox. Ultimately, it's my own fear which I have to conquer, or at least look in the face and accept as a part of me in order to attempt to dispel it. Perhaps this lies at the heart of many of my issues, that of running away from the darkest aspects of my psyche, forever in fear of myself and thus causing a huge source of food in the process. Interestingly, I read your post last night and this morning in my fortnightly Psychothearpay sessions, my therapist was espousing essentially the same idea: that this 'burried' aspect of myself needs to acknowledged and integrated rather than escaped from.

Or as The C's put it

Life is religion. Life experiences reflect how one interacts with God. ... Some
people think that the world exists for them to overcome or ignore or shut out.
For those individuals, the worlds will cease. They will become exactly what
they give to life. They will become merely a dream in the "past." People who
p...ay strict attention to objective reality right and left, become the reality of
the "Future.

It would seem then that integration and not escape is the key

Thank-you for your insightful analysis Redfox. I've found it genuinely helpful and indeed feel uplifted as it's given me the opportunity to contemplate new angles on this whole scenario.

 

[The Noble Son]

Hi Andrew,

Just read all of these posts from your thread, I just found this forum today this morning, your'e post by pure chance. Why I have to add something is that I had this dream you described last night, then found this post this morning. Too good to be coincidence in my books, and my name is also Andrew I am 20 years old(doesnt really matter), but I think I can help you for I felt the same negative force pulling me and holding me down and I was unable to move or sit up. Only I have been aware of this Fear and what it can do to you and have been fighting it and have an understanding about life that is just now becoming aware amongst people. I was at an Aunts house last night while visiting for a family wedding and was asleep on the entertainment room couch. I awoke from sleep around 3 and remember what woke me up was a dream I was having about having an unquenchable thirst and was drinking bottle after bottle of water. I woke up got a bottle, drank it all and tried to go back to sleep. Only the house seemed to be empty of any happiness. Like it was a dark void, then my wild imagination took over from there and I started being negative and thinking about things in the dark that would get me like I used to when I was a child. I remember being on the couch and it felt like something was coming towards me on the ground. I remember being scared and not liking how negative this thing felt that was coming towards me. Then I came to an almost conscious state to where I knew exactly where I was and what was around me only it was pure darkness and the same force everyone has described seemed to be holding me down and not letting me move or speak. But then I wanted to fight back and get up and escape, move, yell escape this clutch of what could only be pure evil. I tried to be not afraid, instead it kept holding me down like I was in a coffin, the clutch of this dark energy seemed to be trying to drain me.I kept resisting with all of my will power then suddenly it was like it let go and I broke free like I had just escaped the grasps of hell. This next part is what is strange, in my mind I was trying to yell out to fight against this darkness. As soon as it let go instead of sitting up and yelling like a had a bad dream, I exhaled like I never knew was possible. To describe it was like a demonic entity was being dragged out of me like I was being possessed (im not sure if you know the reference but it was the same sound as in the movie "The Mummy" when they are running away from Imotet mummy(w/e the badguy was) and he was the sand storm and opened his mouth and sent out some more evil to destroy the good guys when they are in the plane over the desert.) It was like this thing was holding my soul and was actually apart of me, then had control over me and was trying to create more fear and keep me down so as if it wanted to do to me as you described what happened to you. Only this entire experience was very short.

My personal interpretation of this dream I had was that it was my inner demons, who were able to come out and take control because I had created a fear in my mind which they were able to feed off. Now as far as draining my energy goes, they didnt get any. Because I have a new hope for myself and humanity. I knew enough about myself and what was going on with my own mind that I was able to resist and defeat this demon. It was a huge step for me because all along today my mind has been coming into a new state, where I am not making decisions about what is going on around me. Instead its better described as acting off instinct, holding onto my purpose and the life of love my father and mother taught me. Its almost like my mind has become completely cleared of this dark negativity and now I cant even put a negative thought into my mind, like after all this hardship, fear, anger, sadness and hate is finally gone and I can look at life with pure Love and Hope.

I hope you get to read this and still visit this forum because I think you have created something extremely good here. The people who are all having it and how they have all gathered and shared here is more important that just chatting. Redfox and lostinself seem to have the new understanding I speak of and looking forward to sharing the things I have been learning these past few months with both of you. This is my first post on this forum because I just stumbled upon it this morning right after the attack. Now I mentioned coincidences above but I don't believe in them anymore. I do though..believe in fate and this all didn't just happen for no reason. Im also new to the whole idea that was stated when you register here but was surprised there were such clear explanations to what I have been trying to figure out about myself and what is happening on earth. I feel like I am on to something new and hope that I am able to meet the right people here because I know how we can change. Im living it everyday and each day I am gaining more knowledge and understanding about myself and what is going on, stumbling upon the answers before I even knew the question. If you are still suffering and feel like you are hopeless and this thing is still haunting you I have some suggestions that may help.

With Regards,

Andrew

 

[Vulcan59]

Hi The Noble Son,

Thanks for relating your dream.

Welcome to the forum. :) We recommend all new members to post an introduction in the Newbies section telling us a bit about themselves, and how they found their way here. Have a read through that section to get an idea of how others have done it. Thanks.

 

[Bar Kochba]

I just wanted to add my support to you, Pai. You display remarkable courage and an open mind in regards to your fear! I have had a similar experience when I was a teen so I can relate to this in a small way. Stay strong my friend.

 

[angelburst29]

Hi Pai,

I have been reading about your terrifying experiances and have noticed some "key phrases of expression" that might give another avenue to pursue, along with Pipe Breathing, POTS and EE and thoughtful suggestions and support by other Members.

First, I would like to point to some "phrases" in your postings, then offer a suggestion.

"I felt a growing sense of anxiety and the presence of the negative energy - extremely cold, energentic and aggressive."

"I felt a hugh surge in the power of this energy which pretty much made me jump out of bed."

"My immediate overwhelming feeling was to do something physically aggressive.....etc."

"After getting my breathing under control and feeling that my heart was at a reasonably slow pace, the tremors didn't really abate. I remember thinking my legs looked like moving water in that they seemed to be undulating and rippling."

"Gut instinct" "cold energy." "Very drained and distinctly physically unwell."

Pai, the general feeling I get is "a subtle electromagnetic energy field" - in the form of an underground negative water stream, is directly affecting the area where the bed is located. In direct line "from your head to your feet" by your description.

Due to your expressions of "intense energy and overwhelming feelings", it might suggest the location is effected by a vortex or several underwater streams/ branches that intersect in that location in a negative counter clock direction. It may also explain, why doing Pipe Breathing, POTS and EE helped to relieve symptoms, which is positive, in nature of Intent.

There are many sites on dowsing, ley lines and earth energies. This is only one (below) to give an example.

http://www.geo.org/dowse1.htm

What Do Water Lines Feel Like?
As water flows through underground streams, it creates a subtle electromagnetic field, several feet wide, that rises vertically above the water line, even through multiple floors and stories. This vertical planar field of electromagnetic energy affects people physically, mentally and spiritually.

Here are some comments from people talking about what standing over a water line feels like to them:

"Slow and warm and fuzzy."
"Heavy in my arms."
"Faint undulating energy."
"Surprise. Electric. Pleasing."
"A flowing directional pull, like ripples."
"Chocolate syrup."
"Calming energy."
It's one thing to experience the effect of a water line by standing over it for a short time. It's another thing to work or sleep over a water line. A water line has a yin, or passive field, associated with it. Being on a water line will tend to slow you down and make you feel lazy or apathetic. People who work at desks over water lines often have problems getting enough energy to get work done or even to get started.

Water lines can have serious negative effects when the water line is polluted physically or psychically. Negative water lines not only create a place of passivity, but can be detrimental to one's physical and mental health. I consider negative water lines to be one of the world's major causes of disease. The negative effects of water lines and how to cure them are explained further in the section on Geopathic Survey Service.

What is a geopathic survey?
A geopathic (geo-Earth, pathic-disease) survey determines if there are Earth energies (underground water lines, ley lines and ley-line power centers) under a home or office and if they are neutral or negative (polluted or potentially harmful). The survey also checks for the presence of human entities (ghosts) and nonhuman entities (invisible malevolent beings). If negative water lines or ley lines are found, they are neutralized. If human entities are present, they are passed over. If nonhuman entities are present, they are sent to the place they belong according to the will of Supreme Consciousness (God).


Earth Energy and Entity Checklist
Here's a checklist to help you determine the possible presence of Earth energies and entities.


Is there someone in your family who seems hyper, cranky or moody for no apparent reason?

Is there a place in your home or office that just doesn't feel right? Or that feels scary, or even evil?
Are you moving into a new space that doesn't feel right or that you want to make sure is totally clear?
Do you know of a house for sale that has an odd feeling and won't sell?
Do you feel like energy is being drained from you?
Do you ever feel someone or something is watching you--even though there's no one around?
Are there ghosts in your home or place of work?
Do you feel unproductive or lacking energy?
Is there someone in your family with a disease or a history of illness?
If the answer is yes to one or more of these questions, then Earth energies or entities may be contributing to the problem.

My suggestion, check the area where you sleep and mentally envision a straight line from the top of the bed, through the area where you sleep and down, to get a general idea. Expand the line (in both directions, to get a better feel of what else might be affected by the energy (next room behind the wall, etc.) Move the bed to another position (left or right) and see if you experiance a difference.

 

[celtic]

Hi Pia I had a similar experience accept mine was with sleep paralysis. I woke up one night and could not move and I felt this horrible presence in the room. Well I tried fighting it for about 10 seconds by trying to gain control of my physical body then I heard this horrible growl then I got control. I just felt this horrible negative energy like you I was really scared and had no idea what was going on.

There is not much advice I can give you about your expereince since I only experience something similar and once. But when you started to talk a little about your family issues and the beings you and your brother were seeing it made me think there could be some bloodline activity there. Especially the part about your brother wanting to kill himself but you all later found out it was some type of influence.

I currently regard it as very fortunate that my brother is still alive. Upon reaching 13-14 years he went into an extreme bout of depression and self hatred that lasted over ten years. In the early days, my parents thought it was just the usual 'teenage' thing but it just went on and on. By the time he hit his mid twenties, he was severely agrophobic, a self harmer and regularly trashed the family home which he lived in, being long term unemployed and unable to move out. He hated himself more than anyone I've ever seen and had no friends. It was devastating as he really is one of the most genuine, sincere and lovely blokes you'd ever meet. Now we all know that this kind of depression can have many causes. We had quite a Narcissistic upbringing with a fair few family issues but it wasn't the worst in the world and we (the family) just couldn't fathom it.

Here's the interesting part, and he only told me this last Christmas when he came to stay for a few days. At 25 he said he'd basically made up his mind that he was going to kill himself. He went to bed one night deciding that he was going to commit suicide sometime in the next couple of days. On falling asleep, he said he woke up on some sort of slab. He said he couldn't see properly but he was surrounded by several beings which he knew to be 'Alien'. He said that they were celebrating and congratulating each other on their work and that their efforts had paid off and had led to the end result which would be his suicide. Bare in mind here that my brother does not really believe in Aliens and I had not told him the story of what I witnessed when he was about 2-3 years old.

But! Immediately after waking from this 'dream' he said he felt the most beautiful presence he'd ever known emanating from somewhere behind him. He said he instinctively knew that it was our maternal Grandmother. Now we never met our Grandmother as she died young when my own mother was only 15 but from all accounts she was a wonderful woman. She communicated to him that it was not his time to die, that he still had 'work to do' in this lifetime and that there was no reason for him to kill himself.

Laura's talk a little about bloodlines and weird paranormal connections(especially with aliens) about this. I think she discussed it a little in the sercret history of the world but I maybe completely wrong about this my hypothesis of course.

Well I hope things get better for you and your family and like suggested ease up on the Ba Ha and my prayers are with you.

 

[RelaxBear]

Hi,

I know this post is about a year old, but if you are still around and happen to see my response.. I was wondering how you are doing now? If you have experienced it again?

I spent a long time naively believing that I was alone in these experiences, and obviously it does not make me happy to hear these things happening to you - but I find it fascinating, and after reading through all of these posts, I am even more fascinated, since this is the first time I've heard others recount experiences that so closely match mine.

This pure, unadulterated, evil would come in dreams, horrible nightmares, and manifest itself normally as a tall being, human looking, but always something a bit off about them - the eyes, the face, the proportions were a bit strange, too lengthy perhaps. Sometimes it would "appear" in different forms, but normally it comes as a very strong and palpable energy present in the room. If I confronted the energy in any way, in dreams or otherwise, I would be overwhelmed by what I could only describe as "pure evil". If I were to explain it to someone, it would be an evil that couldn't possibly be "of this Earth" and I have never felt anything remotely similar to this. It permeates your being, goes directly to your soul, and is paralyzing in the fear it could induce.. And when I would wake from these sort of dreams, the presence would be there - the sort so powerful, and so deeply malevolent that I would be shaking violently, sweating, basically paralyzed by fear. Several times I thought maybe I had been possessed..A few times, I would hear something in my ear, right before waking, "I really love this, laying here next to you.." yet I was half asleep and could not be positive of what I had heard.

And this energy can appear regardless of location.. And it comes often with these dreams, where it feels like my body is vibrating intensely, with a huge amount of energy I feel I could use if I only knew how to harness it.

Anyways, if you see this, I'd like to talk to you more about it, if possible, share experiences.. Thank you, and hope you're doing well.