Karmic and Simple Understandings.
- Thread starter SlipNet
- Start date
memeontheroof
Padawan Learner
Hi BHelmet Thanks for your feedback . You have given me much to think about. And I guess it is a repeat performance of what I did when I was 17. But it seemed to work then. I don't think my Dad is a psychopath but a narcissist and you are correct about the monster part. He is expert at slowly draining me of all my energy. I have no problem standing up to him as I have been doing that all my life but it seems pointless because he knows exactly what to say to make me lose my temper and then I am drained of energy to the last drop and it takes me awhile to recover. It makes me feel worthless useless stupid ect and then sit around and feel sorry for myself which I cannot stand. I have been a severe people pleaser my whole life mostly for people who don't deserve it. I forgave him years ago because I know he is acting the only way he knows how. It would be like hanging around a snake and then getting mad at the snake when it bites you. The main reason I have been here for almost three years is my mother is ill and she has dementia and he is not at all sympathetic in fact he is down right cruel to, her. Now I know you can,t become STO by determining the needs of another unless they are under the age of consent but does that apply to someone who is struggling with the onset of dementia? That is the main thing holding me back or I would have been out of here a ling time ago. I feel really sorry for her it is quite excruciating actually but he can't abuse her when I am around. Or is it the pity those who pity thing. I feel like I an caught in a spider web sometimes. And it is quite confusing. Any advice is welcome. These simple karmic understandings are not really that simple.
Wandering Star
The Living Force
Do you remember the "teacher" who appreciated the experiences with the "little tyrants"?
You react with "honesty" to the situation. Then you study what has happened.
Once and again and again ...
Eventually, each time, on each next occasion, we will be a little more "ourselves."
I have learned from my own lessons that niceness/temperance can do a lot. But if the negativity field is too strong and pointed at us, and we feel hurt, retreat is reasonable choice to me. One can hardly expect a folks in high age as your parents are, to change much. But anything is possible I suppose, if you'd know hot to neutralize attacks with ease. One needs to be healed if feeling being hurt, and that takes time plus away from their reach.. I think you have understanding now, plan in motion, and I wish you good journey!
Curious Beagle
Jedi
It doesn't seem like you learned your lesson yet. If you did you will gain serenity (it won't bother you at all instead of staying away, withholding love, getting hurt, etc.) or love or the power of creation (you actively solve problems easily) aka the symbol of trinity. Your case is quite common in society yet it is very rich in lessons. It touch on so many aspects such as love (fear issue), coping with demand (soul substance imprinting), relationship with authority, recreate and overcome childhood hurts, falsified impression of parents, etc. I'm not sure if you are just sharing your life story or having a particular particular issue you want to discuss. I can't comment on all of them since it took me 2 hrs to write just 1 post in work: rational Male and female (long and deep explanation). Slowpoke non native speaker.
SlipNet
The Living Force
This is a bit of a sticky point with me too. Serenity is a tough state to attain, it just comes and goes with me, passing through almost like a breeze. I've gotta say though, I'm unsure as to what I'm not getting right at this point. Life is strange though, I can go months without any substantial change and then things suddenly ramp up and I go through a period of intensified learning. These days I just try to go with the flow and not try to force things, just less stress and hassle that way.
Curious Beagle
Jedi
Genuine love give the power to master yourself and your difficulties without proving anything to anyone. When you seek mastery by distorting the attribute of power, you do so for the sake of proving your superiority. When you gain mastery by healthy power you do so for the sake of growing. Not to have the mastery occasionally will not present a threat as it did while you were in distortion. Thus you will truly grow with each life experience. You will learn, accomplish and gain real power. There will not be any distorted ambitiousness, compulsion, and haste.
Serenity in the healthy way will not cause you to hide from emotions, experience, life, and your own conflicts; love and power in their healthy forms will give you a healthy detachment when looking at yourself so that you will truly become more objective. True serenity is not avoiding experience and emotions which may be painful at the moment but might yield an important key when the courage is there to go through them and find what is behind them.
This has to do with three personality types dominated by reason, by emotion, and by will. A personality is never completely one-sided; every person is a mixture of types, but one is always predominant. The harmonious person functions with each aspect in a perfect way. Since there is no completely purified human being, however, the three trends are often directed into wrong channels, aside from imbalance or predominance.
Let us begin with the reason-type: those who conduct their lives mainly by the reasoning process are apt to neglect the emotions. Those who are afraid of emotion cannot trust their intuition, because intuition is blurred by their fear of it, by their distrust of its supposed intangibility. The reason-type is proud to be so steeped in the reasoning process. And the will used mainly to follow deductions made with the reasoning process, seldom paying attention to the emotions or intuitions, which also should be heeded. The reason-type uses will premeditatedly, often overcautiously, whereas the emotion-type is carried away by emotions and uses willpower unconsciously and erratically. The harmonious personality finds the healthy middle way and uses the will rationally or emotionally, depending on the situation. The will should be a servant both to reason and emotion. It will be easy for you to see that the reason-type goes through life missing a great deal of experience, mostly out of fear and pride. Emotional life necessarily carries uncertainty and risk, whereas the rational type tries to keep everything well ordered, “knowing” at all times where one stands, and avoiding the emotions, which leave one at sea.
The emotion-type is equally onesided. Predominantly emotional people often pride themselves that only they are capable of truly feeling. It is true that the emotion-type tends to have a good intuition and is sometimes less afraid of feeling and inner experience than is the reason-type. However, the emotion-type, contrary to the reason-type who holds life’s reins too tightly, often loses his or her grip on life’s reins altogether. They are often so carried away by uncontrolled feelings that they not only lose control over themselves but become blind to that which is often most important for their lives and development. Due to their overemphasis on the emotional side, they neglect the equally important reasoning functions of thinking, discriminating, selecting, and weighing. They must learn to use the intellect to curb the wild emotions that, without necessarily being impure, flow without purpose or direction. The reason-type, afraid of losing control, cuts out not only a major part of life’s necessary experience, but beauty and happiness as well. The emotion-type fears that curbing and disciplining his or her nature will eliminate something valuable in life. Both are wrong—for only the harmonious middle path leads to the complete solution.
In the third category is the will-type who is altogether different. Will is supposed to be a servant, never a master. Ideally the will should serve equally the reasoning process and the emotional and intuitive faculties. The person of will is out for achievement and tangible results. This focus tends to make such a person impatient and apt to forfeit the very result he or she seeks. It cripples the reasoning process, which, joined with the emotional nature, leads to wisdom. Without such wisdom, people either cannot accomplish what they set out to accomplish or, if they succeed, cannot benefit from the accomplishment in the right way and thus will lose it again.
Serenity in the healthy way will not cause you to hide from emotions, experience, life, and your own conflicts; love and power in their healthy forms will give you a healthy detachment when looking at yourself so that you will truly become more objective. True serenity is not avoiding experience and emotions which may be painful at the moment but might yield an important key when the courage is there to go through them and find what is behind them.
This has to do with three personality types dominated by reason, by emotion, and by will. A personality is never completely one-sided; every person is a mixture of types, but one is always predominant. The harmonious person functions with each aspect in a perfect way. Since there is no completely purified human being, however, the three trends are often directed into wrong channels, aside from imbalance or predominance.
Let us begin with the reason-type: those who conduct their lives mainly by the reasoning process are apt to neglect the emotions. Those who are afraid of emotion cannot trust their intuition, because intuition is blurred by their fear of it, by their distrust of its supposed intangibility. The reason-type is proud to be so steeped in the reasoning process. And the will used mainly to follow deductions made with the reasoning process, seldom paying attention to the emotions or intuitions, which also should be heeded. The reason-type uses will premeditatedly, often overcautiously, whereas the emotion-type is carried away by emotions and uses willpower unconsciously and erratically. The harmonious personality finds the healthy middle way and uses the will rationally or emotionally, depending on the situation. The will should be a servant both to reason and emotion. It will be easy for you to see that the reason-type goes through life missing a great deal of experience, mostly out of fear and pride. Emotional life necessarily carries uncertainty and risk, whereas the rational type tries to keep everything well ordered, “knowing” at all times where one stands, and avoiding the emotions, which leave one at sea.
The emotion-type is equally onesided. Predominantly emotional people often pride themselves that only they are capable of truly feeling. It is true that the emotion-type tends to have a good intuition and is sometimes less afraid of feeling and inner experience than is the reason-type. However, the emotion-type, contrary to the reason-type who holds life’s reins too tightly, often loses his or her grip on life’s reins altogether. They are often so carried away by uncontrolled feelings that they not only lose control over themselves but become blind to that which is often most important for their lives and development. Due to their overemphasis on the emotional side, they neglect the equally important reasoning functions of thinking, discriminating, selecting, and weighing. They must learn to use the intellect to curb the wild emotions that, without necessarily being impure, flow without purpose or direction. The reason-type, afraid of losing control, cuts out not only a major part of life’s necessary experience, but beauty and happiness as well. The emotion-type fears that curbing and disciplining his or her nature will eliminate something valuable in life. Both are wrong—for only the harmonious middle path leads to the complete solution.
In the third category is the will-type who is altogether different. Will is supposed to be a servant, never a master. Ideally the will should serve equally the reasoning process and the emotional and intuitive faculties. The person of will is out for achievement and tangible results. This focus tends to make such a person impatient and apt to forfeit the very result he or she seeks. It cripples the reasoning process, which, joined with the emotional nature, leads to wisdom. Without such wisdom, people either cannot accomplish what they set out to accomplish or, if they succeed, cannot benefit from the accomplishment in the right way and thus will lose it again.
for me, it was coming to the understanding that, I am my own worst enemy, most of my problems are down to errors in my thinking.
Always going against the system , it got me into trouble on a few occasions. I had to change my perspective and be in this world but not of it, take responsibility for my life, for the things I done in the past and recognize my self destructive behavior that if I carry on will not end well and it would be no ones fault but mine. The universe has a way of putting you into situations when your ready, were you either grow and learn or stay in your current mode of thinking and behaving.
Not worry about what others think.
When I decided to put my writing on Facebook, at first I was nervous as hell. What will people say I have to go to work tomorrow and face people, blah blah monkey mind. No one except my partner new I wrote and few knew I played guitar, I done it anyway, it got a lot easier and to my surprise people actually liked it and respected me for doing it, the learning was not to be hard on myself and just be me, as Caesar says be true to your own nature and fear nothing.
At that time I was working in a supermarket my first job in years I was on keto diet. I posted articles on facebook about the diet, psychopathy and other things. People in work would ask about the diet and my views on politics and psychopathy (we had managers who were a bit ruthless), I was in my early 30s at the time and working in the store room. I told people my story, I gave up growing weed and had to get my life together that I'm just passing through and don't intend on staying for longer than necessary. After two years I left started working as a carer, never in a million years did I think I would be doing this type of work, the first Job I actually like doing. Before I left, in those 2 years the younger lads were talking about quitting weed, some did but went back on it. People who were there for years started to look for other jobs, two started apprenticeships, others got better jobs else where and some done the carer course I did and are working as carers now and love it. The thought crossed my mind did I influence these changes, I put the thought to one side thinking that's my ego. Not so long ago, last year sometime I bumped into a young lad that I worked with who had started an apprenticeship he said best decision he ever made. We arranged to meet in the gym the following week for a workout together. We bumped into a guy in the gym who we worked with in the supermarket, he works as a personal trainer now and a guy who works in the gym as a personal trainer who also worked in the supermarket. They were chatting about what there at these days and about working in the supermarket and it being great to be out out of there, the guy who works in the gym turned around and said thanks to me that's why most people left, the other two smiled and nodded in agreement, I just smiled and carried on with my workout. So, being true to yourself and fear nothing, just doing your thing can effect others in a positive way.
As others mentioned participating in the forum.
I used to feel stupid its a big thing in my life, always felt stupid or not good enough, comes from childhood. Not that I feel smart now but the blockage has become less and easier to overcome, my thoughts are more organized and feel more confident in myself and were I'm going, striving to be the best human that I can be, still lots of work to do. Sure what else is there to do anyway.
Ive only read the first 4 pages of the thread, now that Ive posted this, I will read the rest. Very inspiring stuff thank you all, you give me strength, even when I wasn't participating in the forum just the thought of you guys being here gave me strength to carry on.
PS. I still get a slight feeling not to post, but I will anyway. Here is a big
for all you guys and I hope I am making some sense.
Always going against the system , it got me into trouble on a few occasions. I had to change my perspective and be in this world but not of it, take responsibility for my life, for the things I done in the past and recognize my self destructive behavior that if I carry on will not end well and it would be no ones fault but mine. The universe has a way of putting you into situations when your ready, were you either grow and learn or stay in your current mode of thinking and behaving.
Not worry about what others think.
When I decided to put my writing on Facebook, at first I was nervous as hell. What will people say I have to go to work tomorrow and face people, blah blah monkey mind. No one except my partner new I wrote and few knew I played guitar, I done it anyway, it got a lot easier and to my surprise people actually liked it and respected me for doing it, the learning was not to be hard on myself and just be me, as Caesar says be true to your own nature and fear nothing.
At that time I was working in a supermarket my first job in years I was on keto diet. I posted articles on facebook about the diet, psychopathy and other things. People in work would ask about the diet and my views on politics and psychopathy (we had managers who were a bit ruthless), I was in my early 30s at the time and working in the store room. I told people my story, I gave up growing weed and had to get my life together that I'm just passing through and don't intend on staying for longer than necessary. After two years I left started working as a carer, never in a million years did I think I would be doing this type of work, the first Job I actually like doing. Before I left, in those 2 years the younger lads were talking about quitting weed, some did but went back on it. People who were there for years started to look for other jobs, two started apprenticeships, others got better jobs else where and some done the carer course I did and are working as carers now and love it. The thought crossed my mind did I influence these changes, I put the thought to one side thinking that's my ego. Not so long ago, last year sometime I bumped into a young lad that I worked with who had started an apprenticeship he said best decision he ever made. We arranged to meet in the gym the following week for a workout together. We bumped into a guy in the gym who we worked with in the supermarket, he works as a personal trainer now and a guy who works in the gym as a personal trainer who also worked in the supermarket. They were chatting about what there at these days and about working in the supermarket and it being great to be out out of there, the guy who works in the gym turned around and said thanks to me that's why most people left, the other two smiled and nodded in agreement, I just smiled and carried on with my workout. So, being true to yourself and fear nothing, just doing your thing can effect others in a positive way.
As others mentioned participating in the forum.
I used to feel stupid its a big thing in my life, always felt stupid or not good enough, comes from childhood. Not that I feel smart now but the blockage has become less and easier to overcome, my thoughts are more organized and feel more confident in myself and were I'm going, striving to be the best human that I can be, still lots of work to do. Sure what else is there to do anyway.
Ive only read the first 4 pages of the thread, now that Ive posted this, I will read the rest. Very inspiring stuff thank you all, you give me strength, even when I wasn't participating in the forum just the thought of you guys being here gave me strength to carry on.
PS. I still get a slight feeling not to post, but I will anyway. Here is a big
for all you guys and I hope I am making some sense.
Imposter syndrome, Ive felt this way for quiet sometime now, not as bad as before though. If you remember the book you read be sure to let us know. This is something im working through. Thank you
BHelmet
The Living Force
I have not heard of that term (imposter syndrome) but, by denigrating or denying your own gifts the “payoff” is that you don’t ever have to take responsibility for using those gifts in a positive way. You never have to risk making a mistake or live up to what you know you can do And you can avoid anybody asking for assistance. And you can avoid criticism as well.
Obviously I am well versed in this flaw too!
Obviously I am well versed in this flaw too!
SlipNet
The Living Force
This is something that resonates with me too. Back when I had a mental breakdown in 2004, I turned to writing poetry to make sense of things. In my local paper there was a poetry competition and I thought, "what the hell, just go for it". Anyway, I sent off examples of my work and hoped for the best. Two months later I was told I was a runner up in the competition, and my work would be published in a compilation book of all the entrants. I was in a bad place at the time, and to get this small success really lifted my spirit. After years of feeling hopeless suddenly I'd achieved something of note. I subsequently got poetry published in 2 other compilation books. I'm glad I overcame my negative introject thinking and actually had the balls to put my work out there.
Nice to hear you're playing guitar too. I bought a keyboard many years back because I thought it would be a good pastime. I've not made much progress, but I still enjoy playing around on it from time to time. Music can be a great healer, and can lead to cathartic moments too.
That's really good to hear, I've struggled with very similar thoughts over the years, not being good enough, etc. Generally I've managed to get over these thoughts and I've managed to become a more confident and assertive person as a result, which is hard with mental illness problems. Sure, I still have moments of self doubt, but my past lessons have shown me that this is a classic program of negative thoughts, all to keep me quiet and nullified. So I've begun a new project as a result. I'm developing a compilation of short stories just based on things I've experienced and learned in my life. So far I've written an 80 page synopsis, now it's time to flesh the work out. I had a kind of epiphany when putting this together, it was like "hey, things aren't so bad, and I've got something to contribute.".
I haven't written anything for a while, but having such a vast synopsis means I have plenty to work on, even if some ideas get cast aside, there's plenty there to develop and learn from. As I'm out of work at the moment I have plenty of time to work on things. I have no big ambitions for this project, but the idea of keeping things "karmic and simple" has been my main guideline on this. Just as an intellectual exercise it has been fun to work on thus far.
If you're writing and working on music, well, more power to you, there's plenty to explore in these mediums. Thanks for sharing, I'm glad I started this thread, I've learned plenty already and I'm sure there's much more to come. I hope it just goes on as people think of pertinent ideas, can't be a bad thing can it?
Nice, well done glad to hear that. People say I should do an open mic night but Ive shied away from it, doing recordings and putting it online is one thing. Physically putting myself in front of people and performing is another thing altogether. Maybe I will in the future who knows.
Me to, still have moments of self doubt. Its Getting easier to push through in some areas, others not so easy, couldn't agree more with the bolded bit.
Thank you SlipNet
Thanks for posting guys, finding courage to overcome what you fear, good for all of us!
"Music and healing once went hand in hand. The Chinese character for medicine includes the character for music. In ancient Greece, music was used to ease stress, promote sleep, and soothe pain. Native Americans and Africans used singing and chanting as part of their healing rituals. In Western medicine, the connection was gradually broken when the art of medicine gave way to the science of medicine. It's slowly being restored as music therapists demonstrate the value of music for treating people with everything from Alzheimer's disease to chronic pain and substance abuse problems. Since 1980, researchers have turned their attention to the effects of music on the cardiovascular system. Most have looked at single variables, such as changes in blood pressure, heart rate, or blood flow through arteries. A few have looked at more holistic effects."
Very interesting to read about the neurobiology of music and the influence of it on the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual planes. I found this paper "Music as Medicine: The Impact of Healing Harmonies" (2015) explaining it in an enjoyable and readable way. I don't know the type of Center where you work as carer, Liam1310, or if you already play some music there, but apparently there is evidence that playing music for these people, at mealtimes, or in their rooms etc can make a positive difference to their lives.
"Music and healing once went hand in hand. The Chinese character for medicine includes the character for music. In ancient Greece, music was used to ease stress, promote sleep, and soothe pain. Native Americans and Africans used singing and chanting as part of their healing rituals. In Western medicine, the connection was gradually broken when the art of medicine gave way to the science of medicine. It's slowly being restored as music therapists demonstrate the value of music for treating people with everything from Alzheimer's disease to chronic pain and substance abuse problems. Since 1980, researchers have turned their attention to the effects of music on the cardiovascular system. Most have looked at single variables, such as changes in blood pressure, heart rate, or blood flow through arteries. A few have looked at more holistic effects."
s1mpleman
Jedi
It was Strangers to Ourselves by Timothy D. Wilson. Hope it helps.
Exactly my experience with Imposter Syndrome. I never really grew much accepting my own incorrect perceptions about myself and I too found it to be based around an avoidance of responsibility.
It is tremendous task to discover those 'gifts'. It took me good forty years before I finally accepted that I have no clue what I'm good at and what should be my real occupation, or which way to go next. Not until I felt so much inner pressure that I sat down and writing (often chaotically) everything significant I did in my life. In the end it brought up so much valuable to the surface, I paid no attention! It took me a year to do it. And yes, now I can see that I had to take responsibility to do what was necessary, to do it for myself, for no one could do it for me.
It is very insightful and helpful to see from all the posts here how we are similar, struggling in our personal dramas. What a school!
It is very insightful and helpful to see from all the posts here how we are similar, struggling in our personal dramas. What a school!
