Mitigating Chaos and Building Lifelines to our Future

[Joe]

Well I'd say that for all the other events and developments we're seeing (and will see), psychological and spiritual preparation is no less important.

More to the point, it is perhaps the most important thing.

 

[Joe]

I'd just leave open the possibility that “those who endure to the end shall save others” can also very well mean helping those on the pre-transition road in 3D (as well as post-transition); the two not being mutually exclusive. The main point being that if we're enduring (to the time of the transition) just to save our own skins without a thought to helping others, we'd be doing it for the wrong reason; its the intention and the reasons behind enduring to the end that matters.

Another point that @Andromeda mentioned on this idea is that we have to be careful about intent. For example, in the above, the "intent to be STO" (i.e. help others) could be seen as an attempt to "save our ass" by 'being STO'. There's also the question of free will. Are we going to "help others" whether they want it or not because "that's what STO does", and we "have to STO to make the transition"?

Also, the idea that we here would "endure to the end" just to save our own skins seems off to me. "Enduring to the end" is no small or easy thing. It involves Working on the self, paying attention to reality, controlling our emotional responses, knowing the self, learning as much as possible, and keeping the big picture and philosophical context in mind, all as the world around us falls apart. The effort involved in doing that is not exactly, IMO, self-serving. It is rather, in itself, an altruistic act in line with the Cs idea of trying to make ourselves into 'transducers of positive energy' into the planet at a time of transition. The point being, we are very small parts in a very large process, and all we can really hope to do is make ourselves into 'useful instruments' for the much larger forces at play.

 

[3DStudent]

I was writing in my journal the other day, and the question came up - are there other things to say? Have I made peace with death?

Have I made peace, in other words, with my life? Do I have regrets? Do I feel ripped off in this life? Has a call of the Soul gone unanswered? Is there such a thing as a 'call of the Soul'? A life plan? It seems so.

I would have loved to have found my Soulmate and become a father. I would have loved to live a life of writing, drawing, music

I was thinking the same, especially art and music. I've been wondering what my dying (or living) wishes would be. I was inspired by a post by DianaRose in the December 2022 session thread.

Basically solitude, and pursing art and music would be life goals. So I only do them partially now. Some things can be resolved or continued in 4D or 5D, I think. I agree that those things can still be done while "the world falls apart". And it's a way of showing light and being of service potentially. At the very least, it can help you stay in the fight.

 

[Magnolia]

The following stands out to me: That everyone has something to give and can find ways to serve others, the power of prayers and that help is truly available when someone asks, and the reality of the inner struggles in overcoming self-importance, anger, other impeding attitudes...................and how souls are helping each other to progress

I also watched the Brazilian movie "Astral City / Nosso Lar" after it was mentioned on the forum (thank you).
(Here is the link to forum thread; here is a link to the movie in Portuguese with mediocre English subtitles.)
I also watched the movie After Life (known in Japan as Wonderful Life) many years ago, which brings up a similar theme.

After Life (a way station for the dead) and Astral City (life after life) address what defines a meaningful life. Both raise questions about WHAT we prefer our lives to have been, which can guide us to making better choices about what our lives are NOW.
______________
In After Life, people who died are given a couple of days, and the help of a counselor, to choose their happiest memory. They will forget everything about their lives and remember only this single happy moment. What they remember as "happiest," ranges from the beauty of cherry blossoms, to the feel of cool breeze, to the freedom of flying, to the kindness of a stranger. If a dead person doesn't have a "happiest moment," he is stuck in the way station as a counselor. One such counselor who was stuck there, learns something as he helps the newest group of souls make their choices: he realizes that he was part of someone else's happiness. That makes him happy, and he chooses that moment of realization to remember forever in eternity.

I have thought dozens of times what my happiest memory might be from this life. Thinking about this pokes dark, black holes in most of my thoughts, actions, experiences and philosophies. In my entire life, I can think of only a few moments I would wish to remember for eternity. These are moments when I (non-personally, non-conditionally, anonymously, unstained by self-consideration as the Buddhists might say) focused on a simple thought, or performed a simple action which uplifted another. Moments when I was graced by being a "beneficial presence." They are very few. Two to be exact. Why so few? Because they require absolute purity of thought; and that is rare.
_____________
In Astral City, the main character dies into a hellish place for suicides. It is dark, dank and dirty, a perfect environment for a life led by "I." He seems to be a good man and he doesn't actually commit suicide, but any life that consists of self-centered, invalid, essentially unholy intentions, thoughts and deeds is, in truth, suicidal. No person can hide their secret motivations; nor can one hide from them. No matter how socially acceptable a person may be, self-confirmation (thoughts and actions that enhance the concept of an illusory self) is actually just self-destruction. This man can escape this suicidal hell only by recognizing and regretting the errors of his ways. He can then ask for help to rise above them. Then he reorients to a life that authentically and sincerely serves others -- a life that has not even a shadow of concern for self.

Rescued from the hell, he learns to cleanse his consciousness (as Learner noted) of self-importance, treating people as objects, envious, rivalrous, malicious thoughts, etc. Even 'after life,' he experiences painful problems which disappear only when he recognizes, regrets and takes responsibility for his thoughts, then reorients his consciousness.

One of the things that appeals to me in the Astral City story is the implication that There Is No End to All This. ALL existence is an ongoing process of building who you are (by seeing, learning, discarding, and elevating) no matter where you are. In the end, we are simply learning to be unstained, genuine, authentic, spontaneous, holy, beneficial presences.

I get discouraged by the conventional concept of a hypothetical deadline to 'this life on earth.' I feel pressured by the ultimatum that I must complete my education and the stripping of my miseducation according to a timeline. It's as if life is a two-dimensional ruler, and when you get to the end of it, you hit a punctuation mark and fall off a cliff into annihilation. It is freeing to consider that there is no deadline. Life is a sphere, ever expanding, infinite, playful, joyful and inviting. The journey is forever. This 'endlessness' actually increases my openness and motivation to "work" here and now.

I realize there are many quotes from the transcripts that discuss such things. Nosso Lar illustrates those concepts less conceptually; with a compassion that touches me. I am grateful it was mentioned here on the forum.

 

[Ennio]

I don't think there is any way to prepare for a situation where we, i.e. anyone on this forum, could be in a position to help large (or even relatively small) numbers of people in dire straits. Whether or not the way we are preparing is for the 'right' or 'wrong' reasons cannot be limited to simple ideas of self interest or altruism, IMO. It has be grounded in a good understanding of the reality of the world we live in and the events that are transpiring on it. It also requires a good understanding of self and others and the 'big picture' nature of the events as they transpire. The Cs have given us a good understanding of this, and I think incorporating that understanding into our lives and actions (obviously in a general sense) is the best approach.

Hopefully we’re being as realistic with ourselves as possible about what we’re capable of doing (and I say this to myself as well). Particularly as it involves situations and people with a very different sense of what the problems they’re facing may actually be - given the potential differences in understanding that they may have, contrasted with our own, and all the considerations that would go into being of real help, and not a road to hell (we may create for ourselves and them) that is paved with “good intentions”. So, yes, this is a somewhat complicated matter that will always (or should always) be taken on a case by case basis with as much awareness of what may actually be involved as possible.

 

[Ennio]

Another point that @Andromeda mentioned on this idea is that we have to be careful about intent. For example, in the above, the "intent to be STO" (i.e. help others) could be seen as an attempt to "save our ass" by 'being STO'. There's also the question of free will. Are we going to "help others" whether they want it or not because "that's what STO does", and we "have to STO to make the transition"?

Very true. And one of the things I was thinking about in even starting this thread. Is there a level at which starting this thread is somewhat ‘forced’ and less helpful than it might otherwise be if parts of this discussion was brought up in a different way. For instance, responding to posts, issues and concerns made to other threads, in real time, that are very specific to what folks are asking for - instead of the ‘whole enchilada’ approach to this one large topic for what may, to some extent, be non-STO purposes on my own part.

As for being careful about the “intent to be STO” to, in fact, “save our ass” - that, too, is something to think on. How much do we - or I - do - that is born of internal considering or mechanicalness that may be worse in some sense (from the perspective of personal development and growth and being objectively helpful) than putting knowledge/doing out there in what may perhaps be a more constructive way, or from a more constructive place within. And while I can potentially recognize and see how some of these dynamics exist, I can still very well ask myself - how much of it is actually well understood on my part and incorporated at the level of a potentially higher level of being? And what might that look and seem and feel like to myself and to others who may have a direct experience of it?

Also, the idea that we here would "endure to the end" just to save our own skins seems off to me. "Enduring to the end" is no small or easy thing. It involves Working on the self, paying attention to reality, controlling our emotional responses, knowing the self, learning as much as possible, and keeping the big picture and philosophical context in mind, all as the world around us falls apart. The effort involved in doing that is not exactly, IMO, self-serving. It is rather, in itself, an altruistic act in line with the Cs idea of trying to make ourselves into 'transducers of positive energy' into the planet at a time of transition. The point being, we are very small parts in a very large process, and all we can really hope to do is make ourselves into 'useful instruments' for the much larger forces at play.

Much agreed because there is so much involved with these efforts that seems to have nothing to do with “saving others” per se. And everything to do with developing ourselves to a level of being that matches with how we might become truly useful, respecting free will, not imposing our views on others, etc. It also seems very possible, and even likely, that our personal development can be helpful in decidedly non-linear, indirect and non-obvious ways. On a related note, sometimes just working towards finding some semblance of balance between all of these areas ie., thinking on what areas one could afford to concentrate more on, is an area in and of itself and would seem to be an important part of how we go about things - especially as we try to become 'transducers of positive energy’ and all that that entails. It is as you say “a very large process,” on-going, and one that seems to require a good amount of course correcting at times.

 

[BHelmet]

The point being, prepping of physical goods beyond a certain limit is pointless IMO, and I'd say not only a waste of time and energy, but also a potential problem in the way that it frames the perception of the future in a limiting and limited way.

Yeah, Prepping just buys some extra bonus time to consider the inevitable. As for framing perception, prepping is a kind of (false?) hope that if we can just hold out long enough, the cavalry will save us; the relief column will arrive like in the movies which programmed this expectation. My own hope is that the prepping will buy a bit more time to see what happens; to watch the show. Maybe I’ll see an awesome comet I would have missed if I expired two days sooner or have one last insight about this life.

Fatalism realized!

At some point, what the hell good is a case of Spam, a gold doubloon and a blunderbuss? Not gonna get you to 4d. Or heaven.

 

[Tuatha de Danaan]

Yeah, Prepping just buys some extra bonus time to consider the inevitable. As for framing perception, prepping is a kind of (false?) hope that if we can just hold out long enough, the cavalry will save us; the relief column will arrive like in the movies which programmed this expectation. My own hope is that the prepping will buy a bit more time to see what happens; to watch the show. Maybe I’ll see an awesome comet I would have missed if I expired two days sooner or have one last insight about this life.

Yes BHelmet, I've gone back and forwards with this prepping lark for the last few years but I eventually land where I started.

While I can and before prices become prohibitive or made of gremlins, locusts or what have you and I can afford to do so I have put aside a little at a time. My rationale was that no one else I know is doing so therefore if a sudden change occurs where everyone around me looses nearly everything I will, maybe just maybe, give a hot meal. It sounds paltry when written down but at 70 and not knowing what the hell will actually happen I'm doing something in the here and now whilst living each day as it comes.

 

[Mark7]

I have done some practical prepping - needful things. Staying alert and open to events as they occur. Opportunities to help will show up. Having an undefined desire to help during this time will help guide me in realizing these opportunities into something real and positive. I strive to make optimal choices for each individual situation that comes up. We will need the same alertness and care to avoid many potential dangers as well going forward it seems. Minds and hearts.

 

[BHelmet]

Yup. I certainly have done the prepping and am still at it but like some others have said, it’s time for those spiritual pursuits: the stuff on my spiritual to-do list. It’s too easy to get sucked into the running around. I have to laugh. Ok, I’m all ready for the wheels to come off! Uh, not really.

 

[iamthatis]

I listened to the book by Laurence Gonazles, Deep Survival mentioned earlier in the thread.

I really enjoyed it. He goes into story after detailed story of people who have survived. A young girl whose plane crashes in the jungle, a dude marooned at sea for weeks, mountaineers caught up the mountain with a broken leg, etc. His main point is to figure out what it takes to survive, and ends up focusing on how they perceive the world and themselves in it. More than anything, I found them to be stories of humour and beauty set against a backdrop of a sort of terrifying black comedy put on by Mother Nature.

Below is his summary of the set of concepts that he gleaned from these stories of life and death. I was pleasantly surprised!

1. Perceive, believe (look, see, believe). Even in the initial crisis, survivor's perceptions and cognitive functions keep working, They notice the details and may even find some humorous or beautiful. If there is any denial, it is counterbalanced by a solid belief in the clear evidence of the senses. The immediately begin to recognize, acknowledge, and even accept the reality of their situation. "I've broken my leg, that's it. I'm dead," as Joe Simpson (chapter 13) put it. They may initially blame forces outside themselves, too; but very quickly they dismiss that tactic and recognize that everything, good and bad, emanates from within. They see opportunity, even good, in their situation. They move through denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance very rapidly. They "go inside." Bear in mind, though, that many people, such as Debbie Kiley (chapter 11), may have to struggle for a time before they get there.

2. Stay calm (use humour, use fear to focus). In the initial crisis, survivors are making use of fear, not being ruled by it. Their fear often feels like and turns into anger, and that motivates them and makes them sharper. They understand at a deep level about being cool and are ever on guard against the mutiny of too much emotion. They keep their sense of humor and therefore keep calm.

3. Think/analyze/plan (get organized; set up small, manageable tasks). Survivors quickly organize, set up routines, and institute discipline. In successful group survival situations, a leader emerges often from the least likely candidate. They push away thoughts that their situation is hopeless. A rational voice emerges and is often actually heard, which takes control of the situation. Survivors perceive that experience as being split into two people and they "obey" the rational one. It begins with the paradox of seeing reality - how hopeless it would seem to an outside observer - but acting with the expectation of success.

Elsewhere in the book he says this about planning:

It's important to have a plan and a backup plan or a bailout plan. What-if sessions can help develop backup plans and should precede any hazardous activity. But you must hold onto the plant with a gentle grip and be willing to let it go. Rigid people are dangerous people... survival is adaptation, and adaptation is change, but it is changed based on a true reading of the environment.

4. Take correct, decisive action (be bold and cautious while carrying out tasks). Survivors are able to transform thought into action. They are willing to take risks to save themselves and others. They are able to break down very large jobs into small, manageable tasks. They set attainable goals and develop short-term plans to reach them. They are meticulous about doing those tasks well. They deal with what is within their power from moment to moment, hour to hour, day to say. They leave the rest behind.

5. Celebrate your successes (take joy in completing tasks). Survivors take joy from even their smallest successes. That is an important step in creating an ongoing feeling of motivation and preventing the descent into hopelessness. It also provides relief from the unspeakable stress of a true survival situation.

6. Count your blessings (be grateful - you're alive). This is how survivors become rescuers instead of victims. There is always someone else they are helping more than themselves, even if that someone is not present. One survivor I spoke to, Yossi Ghinsberg, who was lost for weeks in the Bolivian jungle, hallucinated about a beautiful companion with whom he slept each night as he traveled. Everything he did, he did for her.

Although that's a kinda weird example, Gonzales found survivors are not holding on for themselves - they often dedicate their survival quest to their loved ones.

7. Play (sing, play mind games, recite poetry, count anything, do mathematical problems in your head). Since the brain and its wiring appear to be a determining factor in survival, this is an argument for expanding and refining it. The more you have learned and experienced of art, music, poetry, literature, philosophy, mathematics, and so on, the more resources you will have to fall back on. Just as survivors use patterns and rhythm to move forward in the survival voyage, they use the deeper activities of the intellect to stimulate, calm, and entertain the mind. Counting becomes important, too, and reciting poetry or even a mantra can calm the frantic mind. Movement becomes dance. One survivor who had to walk a long way counted his steps, one hundred at a time, and dedicated each hundred to another person he cared about.

Stockdale cites "love of poetry" as an important quality for enduring. "You thirst to remember," he wrote. "The clutter of all the trivia evaporates from your consciousness and with care you can make deep excursions into past recollections.... Verses were hoarded and gone over each day.... [T]he person who came into this experiment with reams of already memorized poetry was the bearer of great gifts."

Survivors often cling to talismans. They search for meaning, and the more you know already, the deeper the meaning. They engage the crisis almost as a game. They discover the flow of the expert performer, in whom emotion and thought balance each other in producing action. "Careful, careful," they say. But they act joyfully and decisively. Playing also leads to invention, and invention may lead to a new technique, strategy, or piece of equipment that could save you.

8. See the beauty (remember: it's a vision quest). Survivors are attuned to the wonder of the world. The appreciation of beauty, the feeling of awe, opens the senses. When you see something beautiful, your pupils actually dilate. This appreciation not only relieves stress and creates strong motivation, but it allows you to take in new information more effectively.

9. Believe that you will succeed (develop a deep conviction that you'll live). All of the practices described lead to this point: survivors consolidate their personalities and fix their determination. Survivors admonish themselves to make no more mistakes, to be very careful, and to do their very best. They become convinced that they will prevail if they do those things.

10. Surrender (let go of your fear of dying; "put away the pain"). Survivors manage pain well. Lauren Elder (chapter 13) who walked out of the Sierra Nevada after surviving the plane crash, wrote that she "stored away the information: My arm is broken." That sort of thinking is what John Leach calls "resignation without giving up. It is survival by surrender." Joe Simpson recognized that he would probably die. But it had ceased to bother him, and so he went ahead and crawled off the mountain anyway.

11. Do whatever is necessary (be determined; have the will and the skill). Survivors have meta-knowledge: They know their abilities and do not over[estimate] or underestimate them. They believe that anything is possible and act accordingly. Play leads to invention, which leads to trying something that might have seemed impossible. When the plane Lauren Elder was flying hit the top of a ridge above 12,000 feet, it would have seemed impossible that she could get off alive. She did it anyway, including having to down-climb vertical rock faces with a broken arm. Survivors don't expect or even hope to be rescued. They are coldly rational about using the world, obtaining what they need, and doing what they have to do.

This cold rationality is an important part of their attitude to others, to 'fellow survivors', in particular when these others are clearly dying or going insane. It's a very important point in the book. Survivors are under no illusions about saving anyone. Or even being saved themselves!

12. Never give up (let nothing break your spirit). There is always one more thing that you can do. Survivors are not easily frustrated. They are not discouraged by setbacks. They accept that the environment (or the business climate or their health) is constantly changing. They pick themselves up and start the entire process over again, breaking it down into manageable bits. Survivors always have a clear reason for going on. They keep their spirits up by developing an alternate world made up of rich memories to which they can escape. They mine their memory for whatever will keep them occupied. They come to embrace the world in which they find themselves and see opportunity in adversity. In the aftermath, survivors learn from and are grateful for the experiences they had.

 

[Ennio]

The following interview, with Catherine Austin Fitts, is quite good and probably one of the best I've seen with her. She not only touches upon a number of the unfolding economic and political events we're watching - but discusses the psychology of being proactive, living more or less in objective reality, how to think about the banking system, and so on. She seems as wise an individual as she is an incredibly informed one.

You Need a War Strategy – Catherine Austin Fitts

There is much more in the 1-hour and 4-minute interview. Join Greg Hunter of USAWatchdog.com as he goes One-on-One with the Publisher of The Solari Report, (https://home.solari.com/) Catherine Austin

rumble.com

 

[Il Matto]

Everything we do (or don’t do) sends some kind of signal to the Universe. Be it: praying, doing Eiriu Eolas, exercising, positively (or negatively) dissociating, gathering knowledge, prepping, helping a friend, performing our day jobs, cooking a yummy but healthy meal, cleaning the house, participating here, and so on. How much more of the many constructive activities can we fit into our lives such that the Universe sends a helpful signal back and sort of says “I see you and I hear you - and here’s a helping hand”; engaging as much as possible with the good stuff - not in anticipation of a “pay off’ per se - but with the idea that doing these things is simply an effort to align ourselves more closely with our better and ‘higher selves’ and what is of the highest value in, and to, the Universe. Building our Ark for the sheer joy of it and the faith that, along the way, doing so is also helping to build a road to our combined futures.

Some of the challenges and blockages to raising ourselves by the proverbial bootstraps - in order to ultimately be there for others - can come from any number of places, inside or out. We all may have some days that don’t feel particularly productive (and just aren’t). Or some of what’s posted here about world news, experiencing our programs, etc - may feel a bit daunting (join the club!). Or, we are already dealing with some major things and just don’t feel ready to take on a new practice, perspective or approach to the major business of fortifying ourselves; “I can’t take on another bit of work - I’ve got enough on my plate already!”

The paradox (for lack of a better word) of taking on more of the practices and preparations recommended here, however, is that one not only does doing so make one stronger in meeting the future - but doing so can actually facilitate doing and being even more. The statement “you want to get something done give it to a busy person” applies; active people already being practiced in willing themselves to Work already have a faculty for doing and being even more; growth laying the groundwork for even greater growth. In effect then, the more that one adds to one’s being, and does, in all four rooms as G might say, the more that one may find they CAN BE, and can get done. Now isn’t THAT an interesting prospect? How much more might one accomplish if one were just willing to take that "scary" bull by the proverbial horns?

This thread therefore is about some of the practical knowledge and psychological tools of ultimately helping ourselves to help our fellow travelers, and loved ones, to stay healthy, safe, and growing; in order to be there for others when our planet seems almost unrecognizable from what it is today - a time that seems steadily approaching.

Having now read through this thread and the associated “those who endure to the end shall save others”, it seems like the kind of thread that should be bumped to get the discussion going again - I've learned a great deal from reading these two threads and things are getting more 'interesting' by the day on the BBM.
The things I have highlighted above stood out for me and gave me cause for reflection, especially in combination with an honest question I asked in a recent FOTCM Forum Reading Workshop: 'How do I know that I'm growing in knowledge?'. The simple (and very helpful) answer from the other workshop members was, 'when you DO in line with your knowledge', which I think is very much in line with the idea that the more one does, the more they find that they can BE.
I've certainly been guilty in the past of making excuses for not doing more: "I don't have time for that", or "that's just not a priority right now" or "[insert your own thing] is just more important". For my part, these were just lies I told myself. So, I will try to DO more, in order to BE more so that I can be useful in whatever ways I'm called on to be.
Perhaps I'll do a bit of 'prepping', but I think Joe summarised nicely the kind of things I had in mind:

It involves Working on the self, paying attention to reality, controlling our emotional responses, knowing the self, learning as much as possible, and keeping the big picture and philosophical context in mind, all as the world around us falls apart

Enough said for now.

 

[iamthatis]

Given the state of the world, as well as the cosmic environment, I thought to post this old protocol by Clarissa Pinkola-Estes. She wrote this guideline in 1967 for processing shock trauma, for communities that experience the shock trauma induced by natural disasters. To my eye, it's still relevant today. One could extrapolate her presentation out to many different situations, whether it be comets, volcanoes, quakes, economic collapse, etc.

She provides, in her lyrical way, some good perspective for what happens to the psyche when in times of intense trouble like these - as well as some sage advice for what to do to mitigate the effects of the shock. What I like about it is the community focus - this is not a rugged individualist prepper memo, but more of a call to what's required for the care of oneself AND others. There can't be any protocol that covers everything, but this one is pretty darn good.

INTERNATIONAL POST TRAUMA RECOVERY PROTOCOL by Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés


[Developed and updated from 1967 through to present by Dr. Estés to deputize ordinary citizens at disaster sites so they can become literate in recognizing aspects of post‐trauma, and give comfort and support for healing, to those who are coming back from shock and tragedy. There is significant humane need to train people who live in the community, and who will remain within the community in the months and years after a disastrous event, long after first responders go home.]


We are partnered with La Sociedad de Guadalupe para Derechos Humanos, USA


RECOVERY & NORMAL REACTIONS TO SUDDEN SHOCK, EMERGENCY, LOSS, INJURY, AND CATASTROPHE


Each person, depending on their innate physical and emotional constitution, their time of life, their day to day challenges of life, their prior traumas and luchas, their spiritual ties, is affected differently by sudden shocks and catastrophic events.


Symptoms arising from shock may differ from person to person also. Yet all will make progress in healing and rowing toward wholeness again... often with new hard‐won wisdom, and with scar tissue yes, and also often with a heart broken open... a focused desire to help the needful world in ongoing or in new ways.


Thus, over a period of time, if you of ‘the inner circle,’ that is, if you are an eye‐witness, a helper, a first responder, a victim, a survivor, a person who lost a loved one, or lost cherished creatures, or had a loved one in the path of danger, or seriously injured ...


if you have been suddenly hit hard by tragedy or by fear and shock and heartache for the world as you once knew it... if you are a soul in the midst of the disaster, a brother, sister, mother, father, child, elder... if you are military, fire fighter, health worker, helping‐professional, law enforcement, government helper, rescue worker, citizen rescuer, news gatherer, photographer‐‐‐if you have heart, spirit and soul connection to the tragedy‐‐ if you are in other close‐in relationships such as helping in distributions of essentials, supplier, friend‐to‐friend, neighbor to neighbor, pastor, spiritual advisor... you may find yourself having one or more of the following reactions.


(These are normal reactions to sudden shock relating to life and death events, to sudden twists of fate. When one has been involved in a critical incident, one’s body, one’s consciousness and heart (and many believe, too, the spirit and the soul) are shocked as well.


This is because it is shocking to see in full consciousness, in a split second, how close death always is to us, and how suddenly it erupted into our world visibly, palpably, and how fast, how loudly, but sometimes so quietly... This witness to the nearness of death and destruction and the terrible losses of life, are arresting to any human being with a heart and spirit, a mind and body, and a soul.)


NORMAL AND COMMON REACTIONS


PHYSICAL REACTIONS:

• Sleep disturbances including inability to sleep
• Lethargy may come from sleeping too much, eating allergenic or spoiled substances.
• Exhaustion, fatigue, nagging sense of dread once the crises are far past
• Changes in appetite, digestive disturbances
• Feeling numb
• Crying, sometimes without necessarily knowing why
• Desire to comfort and be comforted physically
• Nightmares, night terrors
• Loss of memory
• Trembling, inner and/or outer
• Nausea
• Heart arrhythmia
• Pain in heart, not an organic disorder, but caused by sorrow
• Aching bones, not an organic disorder but rather, caused by sorrow
• Headache, pre‐migraine syndrome; migraine
• Possible augmenting of symptoms of diabetes, prior stress conditions, sciatica, asthma
• Regression in children to a previously mastered stage of development

BEHAVIORAL REACTIONS:

• Hyperactivity
• Poor concentration
• Refusing to talk
• Wanting to go away, or hide
• Talking ‘out of one’s mind’
• Startle reactions while awake or asleep
• Isolating, wanting to be alone.
• Wanting to just sit, or just stare
• Trying to help in any way one can, to the point of exhaustion;
• Not wanting to leave the scene for aid or safety
• Weeping oneself to sleep
• Hyper‐vigilance, watching, listening, being unable to be at rest

PSYCHOLOGICAL REACTIONS:

• Loss of sense of time
• Feeling distraught and helpless and alone
• Feeling that things are not real, as though in a dream
• Inability to recall sequences or retrace all of one’s steps precisely
• Feeling the future has been lost forever
• Desire to comfort and be comforted psychologically
• Feeling one should not cry
• Wanting to scream, or screaming‐weeping
• Inability to attach importance to anything but this event
• Flashbacks
• Nightmares
• Sorrowing in actual and symbolic ways
• Intrusive thoughts that cause anxiety
• Over‐reactions to mild to moderate irritations
• Recurrent dreams
• Horrified Anger
• Broken Heart
• Insecurity about the future
• Feelings of fear, warranted and unwarranted
• Feelings of guilt
• Feeling one cannot stop crying
• Unusual reserve, acting as though nothing much really occurred
• Blaming others, individuals, groups: there may be passionate outbursts
• Marked frustration with how long everything takes
• Marked frustration with rescue workers, the bureaucracy, anyone who is trying to help
• Marked frustration [based on reality] with any who break promises to help, or who are perceived to not be telling all the truth, or who are perceived to be withholding critical information, or giving misinformation or not telling all they know, or who are giving out platitudes or being condescending
• Ongoing violent fantasies
• Rolling episodes of anxiety
• Mild to profound depression
• Amnesia
• Thinking no one can ever understand, no one can ever help.
• Valid fear for one's safety
• Replaying over and over the pain of what one has seen and heard
• Keeping secrets about what one might have known beforehand, during or after
• Blaming oneself
• Deep dread about hearing any more terrible news
• Aversion to films, movies, radio, television, anything that depicts catastrophe
• Irritability that others go on with life while one is still suffering
• Negative judgments about others’ activities or interests that seem disrespectful to oneself and what one is going through

SPIRITUAL REACTIONS:

• Desire to comfort and be comforted spiritually
• Questioning one’s beliefs
• Not wanting to hear any spiritual counsel
• Wanting very much to hear spiritual counsel
• Feeling the celestial beings/ greater Power/Creator/God, the true self have abandoned everyone
• Feeling the celestial beings/ greater Power/Creator/God, the true self are ever near
• Desire to create meaningful ceremony
• Praying non‐stop, for self, for others, for everyone

FOR THE SURVIVORS:THE DESCENT INTO, AND THE PATHWAYS OUT OF TRAUMA


These are normal reactions, though many are painful. Thankfully, no one has all of them, and some, such as ‘more prayer than usual’ can be helpful to many. It is important to remember that all souls have their own ways of remaining strong.


Some have a lifetime of 'not talking." This is their way of preserving their own pace and peace.


Some make jokes as their way of remaining strong. Some weep, and in this they are cleansed and strengthened. Some work themselves to exhaustion, for this is their way of staying strong. Some want to hear every update so they can prepare; that is their strength. Some want to hear nothing more, not ever, unless solutions are also offered‐‐ and that is the person bulwarking themselves in order to strive to stay strong in the midst of all else.


The many different ways people 'stay strong' in their own ways ought be respected as much as possible, with invitations to join in if there is a better way to proceed in the present. Only if 'staying strong' is bringing real harms to the person or to other persons, should the eccentricities of 'staying strong' be mediated by offering other ways to move, think, see, hear, feel in attitude and action.


Going through the pattern of shock symptoms [above], trying to pinpoint each or some, and finding one’s own ways of easing these, putting first things first – health, safety, attitude – these are all part of the direct healing process.


No one can instantly cleanse these thoughts and feelings away, though I wish we could, for we know they can tear at heart, consciousness, and spirit and can make people feel half‐dead or in continual dread.


But as time passes, many of these will lift more and more, and many will pass too. Especially if we hold to right understanding, right action, right thought. The most important is to know what to do for oneself to help the natural process of mending up after twists of fate that affect us so deeply.


Many years ago our beloved first‐born grandson died suddenly. We made the slow painful walk back from the land of the dead. It took much time. We felt dead ourselves. A succinct truth about coming back after such trauma, eventually came through my dear daughter whose child had been lost. She said. "We never overcome profound loss: We learn to live with it."


And this will assuredly be so for you also. You will find your way to live fully again with this time in background, not foreground.


The day will come. And you will see, month by month forward, this will occur more and more.


For some persons, after tragedy, they know immediately what they think and feel. For others who are be‐numbed, they may not know where and how they stand with the events and with themselves and with others for quite some time afterward. This is alright. New life will come. Being thoughtful and watchful of one’s own processes daily is a good endeavor.


If you can’t recall the qualities, paths and sanctities most useful, ask trusted others to help you take daily steps to help yourself as needed. Just like a new garden, take one thoughtful step after the other. Assess, spade, seed, water, light, weed, tenderly, thoughtfully tend to... then one day comes the flowering and then after that, the fruits.


For those close in to the disaster, the tragedy, the numbness you feel comes from parts of your self protecting you, softening for a time, the profound overwhelm of all that has occurred, allowing you to at least go through many of the mundane motions of day to day life. For the first days after such enormous shocks, it may almost feel as though time has stopped. That all is surreal. The efforts to comb hair, shave, organize may be dulled.


You may feel as though you are no longer here. As though maybe you are dead or deadened. Even as you go about lifting, hauling, helping. This is because abject fear, horror, and/or tragedy throw us into a process and lock us in for a time – yet, our balancing pathways through difficulties did not die. We can find them and follow them again.


For most who have been suddenly beset by deep fear, and/or suddenly lost beloved persons, an animal companion, or a home place, or all these... ‘descent’ is not too strong a word for the process afterward. To many, it feels like a big iron gate has closed behind them and that life will never be the same again.


And yet, please also be assured there is an indirect healing process taking place inside you at the same time... time passing is one indirect but strong healing partner. As time goes on, there is also blessing news... and that is, that fear and horror and grief are wheels that turn. Grief has a beginning, a middle and not exactly an end, but a release from that trapped place behind ‘the iron gate’ where you may have felt burdened off and on, or relentlessly.


Eventually the sense of helplessness, fatigue, guardedness, hyper‐vigilance, sorrow, blaming oneself or others, and/or ‘not knowing’ dwindles and eases. You will daily live and laugh and love life again, more and more ... it will happen. Not right this moment. But it will come.


• As time goes on, less and less will you be dragged backward in time to very briefly, but deeply, feel fearful or grieve anew. Those times will occur with longer and longer spans of time in between. Each episode of ‘sudden remembering’ will be intense, but last for shorter and shorter periods of time. Again, for most of us, we do not ‘get over’ life and death heart‐wrenching events. We learn to live with them. We learn to live with the aftermath of memories of bad shocks and irretrievable losses.


We learn to live with changes and losses that feel they took meaning of our lives away from us for a time, or that took our spirits from us and our desire to live life as well.


But, for all souls, like the force of energy at the base of a plant that continues to shine underground even during drought, something in us also is ever sending out strong impulses for us to live again... and well. No matter how weak we feel in the moment, this invisible rhizome, the Life Force of the true self will help us see meaning‐‐ and new calling in life sometimes too‐‐ as we gradually climb back up to our own vital and vibrant lives in every way. It will come. Like the garden after dry season, life comes back again.


AFTER THE FIRE

“New seed
is faithful.
It roots deepest
in the places
that are
most empty”


from book The Faithful Gardener by CP Estés, in honor of the 14 firefighters who died on Storm King Mountain 1994


ACTIONS TO TAKE FOR RECOVERYPlease take up all, or any of the following pathways to add to those ways you already know, in order to help yourself. Please know too, that many strangers, as well as those close to you, are focusing in this very moment in order to support you over the miles, saying strong and ongoing fresh prayers for your heart and spirit and true self to find their ways and to be made whole again. I am but one of those multitudes who prays strong prayers for you.


EXERCISE AND REST to release accumulated stresses ...► Within the first days or as soon as one can, and continuing, do strenuous exercise alternating with rest times. Continue to move daily thereafter. This will alleviate some of the physical reactions, and give your body a way to discharge additional physical and emotional reactions as they accumulate in the coming days. This is a generosity to the body.


KEEP MOVING, order will return ...► REST BUT KEEP BUSY, AS YOU ARE ABLE: do not sit and do nothing. Feeling displaced, angry, sad, orphaned, and bewildered are normal reactions. Do not tell yourself that you have lost your mind. You haven’t. But a huge wind has blown through upsetting all previous order. Order will return. A new order. An order for your life that you decide as you decide it, in your own best ways.


TALK TO PEOPLE rather than toughing it out ...► Talk to people — talk is one of the most healing things most can do. Tell your story as you see it. Although some have learned to keep their most precious thoughts and feelings to themselves, they may not realize that by talking some, or a good deal now, they also give others permission to talk out their thoughts and feelings too... and thus to go that much farther in healing. To talk, encourages others to talk. Though each has his or her own ways of dealing with trauma, and no one ought be forced to speak until or unless they wish to, we find that expression of one’s thoughts and feelings about one's hopes and fears often go farther to release trauma’s after‐effects, than trying to tough things out. Any kind of talk now has, as its aim, equanimity.


PAINT, TELL, WRITE, DRAW YOUR STORY INTO THE REAL WORLD....► This may be the first time some persons will receive encouragement to speak. Some will be brief, that’s alright. It doesn’t matter whether one’s talk is broken or cohesive... telling one’s own story insofar as one wishes, is what matters. People who have been deeply hurt, may tell their stories over and over again, many times before they lose their massive charge of pain. They may tell it in voice, or in poetry, in drawing, songs, music, theatre, painting, and other expressive means and then sharing these with trusted others. Making art is a form of virtue. Expressive art is very healing for many. There are across the world, tens of thousands of well trained, certified expressive art therapists to help, if you so choose.


WAYS TO LISTEN AND TO HOLD OTHERS to help them heal ...► Don’t push yourself, but if you can, listen to others’ stories; if you can, reach out for those who are poor in resource, poor in spirit, poor in security, for sometimes giving comfort, words of encouragement, is a way to help healing of both teller and listener as well. There are many ways to listen, including being silent together, including a hand on an arm, an arm around a shoulder, sharing around cups of water, an embrace while the other person just leans in quietly, or weeps. This is the quality of loving kindness.


SOFT EYES, KNOWING NODS ...► There are too, those inimitable words that the soul understands perfectly, which are not said with voice, but with nods of the head and with the eyes; gentle understanding eyes. Sometimes soft looks and soft voice, the Oh, oh, and the There, there, and the Yes my dear heart and the warmth of merciful silence in the midst of din... these are some of the greatest articulations of wisdom.


THE SPIRIT IS A SACRED TEMPLE, PROTECT IT IN SELF AND IN OTHERS as much as one can ...► Don’t allow anyone to push you or deceive you into anything not good for your soul. Be not led either by others who may insist too soon, “It’s over now, you must move on.” You will move on. But in your own timing. In grief and great change, one’s consciousness has entered a sacred place, one of deep learning and transformative process. The news media cycle is not your healing cycle. Exploitation is not a healing method. It’s best to protect the traumatized psyche from any intrusive anyone, including media whether in person or on radio/TV which may accidentally overwhelm your spiritual needs for privacy in groups and as individuals, because of media’s need to ‘feed the maw of the news cycle.’ Remain to yourself and in and for yourself, in the ways you deem wisest for you and your soul.


RELY ON COMPASSIONATE AND PATIENT COUNSEL ...► Neither is your drummer anyone who is not well developed psychologically or spiritually themselves, nor those who become understandably fatigued with the, for now, ongoing cycle of anxiety and/or grief. Rely instead on compassionate and patient counsel. Forbearance and remaining private regarding those who seem intrusive, is one of the best attitudes.


LOOK TO THE EXEMPLARS WHO HAVE BEEN WOUNDED AND YET HAVE FOUND NEW LIFE AGAIN. You are wounded yet alive, and healing. Look to those angels and saints and good human beings who have gone before you and suffered so, but come back to full life again ...► Listen to yourself and to wise others who have come through ‘a great something’ themselves, and mostly recovered or are making definitive progress. It is a paradox and an issue of compassion for self and others: To tend to what is wounded til healed ‘well‐enough’, while going on with new life as well. Yes, ‘life goes on,’ as some will say, but the emphasis should be on Life! not on hurrying. A wound to the spirit is like a wound to the body. It takes time to heal from the bottom layers upward.


YOU ARE NOT ALONE: SEEK THOSE 'WHO KNOW' THE WAYS THROUGH... ► Feelings of loneliness and deep feelings of worry, or longing toward loved ones injured, or now gone, or a way of life gone for now, can be partially mediated by being with those who understand from the ground up, that is, other people who have walked the path similar to the one you are walking now. Though it can seem like this never happened to anyone else and you and those with you are alone, there are others in the world, in your village, on the internet, within certain groups‐‐ who know exactly what you are experiencing, and they can be of great comfort. Seek them and take what they offer in goodness. It is there for you. In this way, we allow others the honor of loving us via kindnesses offered.


CEREMONY, SYMBOLIC ACTS, RITUAL, MEMORIALIZING, BLESSINGS ...► Each time you tell your story partly, or fully, each time you create a symbolic act, participate in healing ceremony, rituals that call the Magnitude to oneself as one knows/believes, note the best of what once was, memorialized now, each thoughtful new barrier set to help prevent ever again whatever twist of fate or tragedy occurred in your world insofar as you can, each time you think back to the disaster in order to analyze and learn something valuable, each time you receive someone’s caring, each time you reach to comfort others, to bless and be blessed by others, you will be healing yourself. And others. This is the quality of mindful effort and ceremony.


LIFE‐LESSONS FROM TRAGEDY ...► Try not to cover up your feelings by withdrawing or by using alcohol or drugs or other excesses. Talk your feelings out as you can. As many times as you need to. There is no shame or selfishness in this. You have been through a lot. Sometimes after a sudden shock and tragedy, some try to self‐medicate with whatever is close at hand. But this is not a time for negating feeling. One’s striving for consciousness is stronger than most realize. This time, despite the horror that began it, will be a time that will bring much to you, much that will be useful for the rest of your life. For many, it will be a time of complete maturing in unforeseen and good ways. We cannot make tragic or profane events go away, but we can make them in some way holy. We can, insofar as we have sight and strength, make our actions and reactions holy.


BLESSING SELF AND OTHERS ...► Reach out to others for help. They really do care. This is a way of allowing others to bless you. Be good to yourself and let others be good to you too. Often, the most healing comes from just allowing others to bless your life anew, and you theirs. I tell the people I meet with‐‐who have suffered great tragedies, but who often ask what they can do to help others. I tell them, ‘Be kind.’ People who suffer greatly will most often forget all the “expert” words or techniques that anyone ever said or did during these first days and weeks, but what will remain forever engraved in memory, are the kindnesses others offered during those first few days and weeks and afterward. Kindness somehow seems recorded by the body internally and externally, by the conscious mind, by the heart, and the spirit, the soul, in ‘sense memory’: Every part of the human being registers kindness.


SOLITUDE, REFLECTION, AND SOCIALIZING ...► Spend time with others. These may be times of reflection and solitude. But, do not isolate yourself. You may also find yourself laughing sometimes, even as you grieve. That is not the potter’s wheel screeching; this is the potter’s wheel being glad to be alive and useful again. It is alright. True mirth is a healing virtue.


REACH OUT TO OTHERS, TOO ...► Ask other people how they are doing. Remember they may be shy to tell a stranger, or even a friend or relative, of their burden unless they are asked, and often. Respect boundaries, but also a soul may need to be asked more than once in order to gain more of an answer than just ‘Fine,’ when in fact, they are somewhat — to a lot— less than fine. My rule is, as with raising children, ask three times, and likely each answer will be more in depth... and then pressures can be released to the good.


REST AND TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY WHO HAS NO ONE BUT YOU TO CARE FOR IT ...► Adults can become fatigued from this business of remembering and grieving. Grieving is hard work, and as numbness wears off and the mind delivers back images and impressions of the original traumatic event, it can burn up much energy. Rest, take good care of your body. Feed it as decent food as you can. Soothe and energize your body in ways you have always known work for you in ways that add to your life rather than take from your life.


GIVE YOURSELF “TIME OFF” FROM TRAUMA ...► It’s alright to take time out. It is not negligent to not want to listen anymore. It is alright not to read newspapers or watch the news. It’s alright to never again go to a film that is about shock or loss, in order not to stir up what is now healing or healed. It is fine to protect the wound, even when ‘well enough’ healed, for now, for a while, or forever. Everyone reaches capacity in the grieving process, in recovering from great shocks, in being near the still open wounds. Pay attention to what your body and consciousness, heart, soul, and spirit need, and secure it for them.


HEALING FROM SHOCK IS NOT A STRAIGHT LINE ...► Healing from shock is not a straight line: It is a zig‐zag line, sometimes two steps back and three steps forward. Stay with it. There is no one right way nor perfect progress. There is your way. There is your striving to progress. Trust these. You have old knowings that work. Angels and others may offer ideas too. Consider, take what you need, and leave the rest.


TAKE TIME CHOOSING LEGAL HELP ...► If this is part of the scene, take time to think things through carefully if you are approached by persons offering legal help. For persons who are badly injured or survivors of a family member who died, or those who have lost much, legal support may be considered. But, also be aware that in some instances, involvement in years’ long legal pursuits can thieve freedom to live life again as you please... instead one’s highs and lows dictated by how the legal case is progressing each day. Consider carefully. If you need a lawyer, it is best to seek your own referrals from trusted friends rather than respond to lawyers who contact you. At every disaster site, there are charlatans who pour in to take advantage, along with the larger mass of helpers pouring in who really will and do help. Be wise in your considerations.


THE INNER CIRCLE: SURVIVOR SUPPORT GROUPS ...► It is true that some of your friends and relatives may never understand what you, the on‐the‐scene person, experienced ...unless they were there too. Sometimes the ones we want to turn to for support, cannot grasp all that occurred. That’s alright. That’s why there are often survivor groups formed also. The people in ‘the inner circle’ understand one another innately. The groups are often formed in prayer, in whatever shelter is left standing, in sharing what little resource there is, tending to the worst of the wounds first...and evolving from there. You can be part of such group or start one. There is no right or wrong way. Only the way of the Heart.


IF YOU FEEL STUCK IN DEEPENING OR CHRONIC HIGH DISTRESS ...► If you find at any time that you feel stuck in endless anger, or want to isolate yourself without cease, or have unabated high anxiety, or continue to be hyper vigilant, have intrusive thoughts, flashbacks, thoughts of hurting yourself or others, nightmares or other sleep distresses, over‐reactions to run of the mill events, begin to destroy your most cherished relationships... don’t put it off ... seek help with those you trust, those known to help others to heal. It is often only one tiny thing that needs to be tightened or loosened in consciousness or heart or mind or body; not a total reconfiguration of the entire psyche. Seeking aid when needed, is an ancient spiritual tradition wherein one goes alone to the teacher for counsel, thereby exercising the quality of compassionate effort... in your own behalf.


POST‐TRAUMA RECOVERY THERAPY ...► It is not a character flaw nor a failure of the person to seek psychological, physical or spiritual wisdom. Please understand that severe, sudden shocks to the body and consciousness can throw off chemical balances in the body. Sometimes the body needs medicine to help to recover the chemical equilibrium that influences sense of self, evens out mood, and sense of ease with the world. Listening to the teachings of a helper, healer, therapist trained in resetting one on the path again, or in post‐trauma recovery is useful to untangle thought processes that often become jammed by prior pressure to respond to too many sudden and strong stimuli all at once. The remedy is concentration, immersion in one’s best spiritual and psychological and bodily practices in order to cleanse, strengthen and free the true self again.


CONSIDER TRADITIONAL GATHERING AND/OR ALTERNATIVE ...► Sitting with a trusted person is also a place to speak the thoughts you would prefer not to speak more publicly or to friends or family. It also is a place of learning to create new life as you now wish it to be, with insight and vision. Some might choose EMDR, an eye‐movement therapy that reduces the anxiety of trauma for many; some choose talking; some analyze dreams, looking for symbols which free them when understood; some also take specially compounded medicines and herbs; create ceremony; cleansing rituals in dance, art, song, writing, painting, as well as practice meditation, sit satsang, go to Mass in the ruins, keep journals, do yoga, meet in small communities, bless one another, pray together, laugh together, go fishing more often, take up new skills that relax or go back to those that once did ... and many use expressive arts to come to terms. Use any and all and more that honor the soul, as you see fit.


DON’T BE AFRAID TO TALK TO YOUR OLDER CHILDREN ADULT‐TO‐ADULT ...► If you are a parent, help your children, and any child who no longer has able parents, by listening, listening. Just because young children, or young adult children are silent, or just because they laugh or ‘go out’ to work or wander about with friends or say everything is fine, does not mean they are without need of your special regard.


Consciousness often splits in two during eye‐witness and/or sudden trauma. This is a healthy and temporary adaptation to shock. One side goes on functionally, seemingly unaware of the travails (but psyche records all) while the other side may be, for a time, drowning in bewilderment, helplessness, a sense of the surreal, and sorrow. The two ways of seeing and thinking will come back together again more and more, and with a united vision eventually... be present and aware, blending both realities as one.


“BEING WITH," undistractedly, heals the duality between the mundane and destroyed world, and the unruined world that one holds sacred. Don’t be afraid to talk to children mind to mind, heart to heart, spirit to spirit, soul to soul, and with bodily comforts if a child indicates so: soothing sounds, embraces, songs, comforting foods. The child will tell you what they would like, if you suggest things of comfort rather than ask what the child needs.


Do not hesitate to consult the steady and wise for good advice, and to gain spiritual insights, body work, psychological therapy, ceremony, healing circles, both for yourself and for a child if you think it useful and/ or needed to learn... and to process what one is learning. Children are observant and wise too. You may learn much from speaking to children after a collective trauma.


CREATING GROUPS FOR CHILDREN TO PLAY AND LEARN, creating groups for children to play in some peace, and to learn under loving guidance, to shelter able creatures under the children's care if possible, no matter what else, can provide a much needed sense of belonging for children who have lost so much. For all of humanity, one can get through most rough roads if one can feel a sense of belonging—to Creator in a way that matters to each in their own ways ‐‐and to other people who care. And we find it so, that even if a person does not find belonging with the greater or with humans, then they will find it in their admiration and love of creatures, and if not with creatures, than to all of the beauty of the sun, the stars, and the sky. Each will find their own belongingness. Thus, offer many and any safe places, no matter how or where, so the young especially, can belong to that which finds them sacred.


WITH CHILDREN, DO YOUR LOVING BEST ...► Healing from trauma is at its most useful, also educative. Healing from trauma teaches about how one’s consciousness, behavior and spirit actually work together, or don’t‐‐ but can... with a few adjustments and conscious good will. Children look to and often follow the mindful tones their parents and elders take about such matters.


If you made an error of under or over reacting, just back up, say so to your child, say you know how to do it better now. Children learn so quickly, they will most often back up and follow your new and better mindful lead. Perfection in grieving, perfections in coming back to life, is not the point. What counts the most is that you just do your loving best. This is a stable attitude: “doing best” – but not without also ‘doing love’ even more so. You know your child best, and know the ways to love and tend to‐‐ that children can most easily understand, and take in as nourishment for their healings also.


DECIDE TO LIVE FULLY ...► In the ensuing days, find things to do that feel rewarding, meaningful or refreshing. These need not be big things, but events or endeavors to offer small balances to the tragedy and overwhelm you have been through. It is alright to live fully, even though precious others have been suddenly injured, harmed, or died. In fact, many of us hold that it is exactly right to decide to live fully in honor of those who currently cannot or could not. There is to be no guilt for moments of happiness or celebrations. Nor for sudden sadness, either. Yet, moments of happiness are, again, the force of the living plant blossoming again. Your life blossoms again. And this is just right.


THERE ARE TIMES ... THAT ARE WORTHY OF SPEAKING ABOUT ...► When you feel bad, find a person to talk to, and to cry with, to tell of your anger and other helpless feelings. Don’t keep it inside. If you think you’re ‘bothering people,’ or being’ weak’, remember people who love you will wind up spending much energy being even more worried about you if you go mute. It’s alright to talk, even if it’s not usual for you. There are times of life of great consequence that are worthy of speaking about. This is one of those times. We are what we are, it is true, but also now there are new ways for fine‐tuning true selflessness, which includes helping oneself so that one can guide others in wisdom, by saying, ‘Yes, me too, I have suffered also and that is why I know a bit of the way forward, and so here’s my suggestion, with caring, to you’... It is true that those who appear to be most in need often cause the enlightenment of others. These are times that are worthy of speaking truthfully and openly about your own highest knowings.


TAKE CARE NOT TO OVERINDULGE NOR SELF‐MEDICATE ...► You are vulnerable in some new ways when recovering from shock; take care to not over‐indulge or self‐medicate with substances, or other consciousness‐numbing addictions, or trying to lose oneself in unprotected sex, or ongoing bitterness, or know‐it‐allness, or rages, as defenses against feeling vulnerable. Regarding effective anger: Anger is energy to use in controlled and reasoned ways to get things done. It is a fire with a hearth, ought not be an unbanked fire without guardian stones around it.


SEEK PEOPLE OF SPIRIT WHO LOVE THE SOUL, THE TRUE SELF ...► Your spiritual beliefs will definitely help you through. Cleave to them in full. For those who have been dispirited by some inhumane ‘religious’ person long ago, do not hold yourself away from this kind of healing for your spirit now. Instead, consider seeking people of spirit who love the attitude of generosity; there are many of them in the world, some in organized religions and spirituality communities, and some who wander freelance in this wide world. Ally with them. They will have special balm for you.


MAKING SENSE OF IT ALL: “GOD’S BUSINESS,” “CREATOR’S BUSINESS,” “SOURCE WITHOUT SOURCE”...► I would offer this to you too, a personal philosophy I carry. . . Some may be helped by knowing it is good to develop a category in one’s consciousness called something like “Creator’s Business,” “God’s Business,” “the business of ‘Source without source’”‐‐ for some things will never make sense. Some things one cannot ever control or ever understand. Accidents are incomprehensible. Twists of fate often have little ‘rational fact’ to them. Evil things are, by definition, insensible. And some things, some events, some outcomes, will forever only be “God’s Business,” Creator’s Business,” The business of ‘Source without source...’”


THE DIGNITY YOU DESERVE ...► We all wish to be brave and strong in the face of sudden upheaval and disaster. We all wish to be looked up to for our endurance and our efforts to help others. If you truly care for humanity, then too, be sure to include yourself in their numbers, by giving your own inner feelings and thoughts the voice and the dignity they and you so deeply deserve.


THE WORLD KNOWS OF YOUR PLIGHT AND IS WITH YOU IN VIGIL FOR HELP FOR YOU, FOR YOUR RECOVERY, FOR KEEPING YOUR NEEDS ABOVE THE WATERLINE. Please remember, worldwide there are strangers who are industrial‐strength praying men and women. Who are strong thinkers and conveyors of goodness in many ways. We have you on our radar and have already called forth all Good and Great, asking that you be watched over and guided into fullest life again. We’re asking that you and all your loved ones be kept safe, that you see miracles during this time, that you ever know that Creator and the angels are near you, touching you gently, and guiding you to ways and means that are helpful and useful to you, guiding you into meaningful life again.


Please lean on our prayers for you, and with love, Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés


THE ‘REFUSE TO FALL DOWN’ PRAYER


Refuse to fall down.
If you cannot refuse to fall down,
refuse to stay down.
If you cannot refuse to stay down,
lift you heart toward heaven,
and like a hungry beggar,
ask that it be filled—and it will be filled.
You may be pushed down.
You may be kept from rising.
But no one can keep you
from lifting your heart
toward heaven—only you.
It is in the midst of misery
that so much becomes clear.
The one who says nothing good
came of this,
is not yet listening.


The blessing poems, “After the Fire,” and ‘The “Refuse to Fall Down” Prayer’ [originally titled “A Prayer,”] are excerpted from The Faithful Gardener, A Wise Tale About That Which Can Never Die, by C.P. Estés, HarperCollins, ©1995. Reprinted by kind permission of publisher.


BRIEF BIOGRAPHY:


Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés is Mestiza Latina [Native American/ Mexica Spanish], presently in her seventies. She grew up in the now vanished oral tradition of her war-torn immigrant, refugee families who could not read nor write, or did so haltingly, and for whom English was their third language overlying their ancient natal languages. She is a lifelong activist in service of the voiceless; as a post-trauma recovery specialist and psychoanalyst of 48 years clinical practice with persons traumatized by war, including exilos and torture victims; and as a journalist covering stories of human suffering and hope.


Diplomate psychoanalyst [Certified by IAAP, Zurich] who developed an international psychological recovery protocol for, amongst other traumatic disasters, the Armenian earthquake rescue; The Mexico City earthquake, the Los Angeles earthquake, The Rocky Mountain forest fires and floods, and their aftermaths. She served at Columbine High School and community for 3 years after the massacre; and works with 9-11 survivor families on both US coasts.


You are holding the complete protocol in letter form -- addressed to the inner circle of citizens, victims, survivors, eye-witnesses, their families, workers, helpers, elders, rescuers, relatives and other affected persons. This letter offers from direct clinical practice, useful, effective, and time-tested steps for recovery from trauma.


If you have questions on‐site where you live, also please apply to the first responder groups, such as the Red Cross and other trained groups, who will often have up to the minute information for you.