My cats been run over and killed

Michael Barker-Caven said:
So sorry to hear that Benny has been taken from you in such fashion. Cats are more than pets - they are family, especially after such extended companionship and you are all understandably heart broken. I have found that giving a lost pet a family burial with say a gravestone you make together and special flowers planted at the site gives an opportunity - especially for children - to share fond memories, share the grief and to keep your lost companion close. As others say the sorrow takes its time to work through and being able to revisit Benny and chat about him maybe a path to healing the grief you all rightly feel and share. My best wishes to you and your family.
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Thanks Michael. That's exactly what we are going to do. Have a little service and plant something nice next to the cotoneaster plant where our our other cat friends Tabitha and sonny are buried. Benny will be cremated although I'd have preferred to bury him if I'd of been at home to arrange things. My wife sat with my son last night and drew pictures of Benny. Jay is seven and it really helped him come to terms with the shock.
You know I've lost four cats since been married 17 years ago. I don't think it ever gets easier though this time it seems like I've felt the pain of the loss with more clarity and I've let my tears flow when I'm on my own. I haven't run away from the pain if that's makes sense.
Gone but never forgotten x
 
Thebull said:
I don't think it ever gets easier though this time it seems like I've felt the pain of the loss with more clarity and I've let my tears flow when I'm on my own.
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If you cry and you happen to be in front of your son or wife, then that could be a good thing. It's a positive example of expression of emotions.

You've been through a lot. Perhaps you need a period of time to rest and gather your energy.
 
I am really sorry to hear about your loss as well, Thebull. Wishing Benny a good transition to the other side. He seems to have been a wonderful cat. As long as you will keep him in your hearts and minds, he will remain with you in a way - and I too guess, you may meet him again in another form some day. My thoughts go out to you and your family :hug2:
 
So sorry for the loss of Benny! Really hard stuff. Glad at least for quick passing and not suffering.

I lost a couple of cats to the road in our neighborhood when I was around 9 and it really made me start to contemplate life, death, where do they/we go???.... Maybe your son will grow some curiosity as well.
 
I was care taking a place for 3 years. There was one ferile kitten who took a shine to me. It would always get underfoot when I went to do the chores. I left that place in 2017. Then I moved into a place close by in 2018. A stray ferile kitten(less than a year old) moved into our yard. This cat does exactly the same thing, when I walk anywhere outside.

The other place was not particularly friendly to cats. During my time there the cats seemed to flourish. The owner was a dog breeder who had one female cat when I moved in, who survived the raptors quite well. The eagles were hard on the cat population.

I think that kitten came back. Anyway, I would trap several mice a week before this new cat came here. His brother has since showed up as well. They were both starving when they arrived. Six months later they both look healthy, sleek and well fed.

I try not get too attached to animals who have a short term life expectancy. Been there done that. Though I still feel sad when they pass.

Sorry for your loss but you may see him again, sooner than you think!
 
I just got my cats ashes back today after been away for the weekend with the family. We took the dogs with us on the trip. We had friends in our house to look after Milo our other cat during the day but he was on his own overnight. We’ve had some guilt regarding that and not been sure how’s he’s handling been without his companion. Also on our return he had urinated on my sons bed. He’s never done that before and rarely goes in Jays room.
It’s been running through my head how Benny got run over. I’ve driven the route a number of times at different speeds. I also called the lady who witnessed the accident thanking her for all she’d done and to clarify what actually happened. She was adamant the driver of the car wasn’t speeding but can’t understand why the driver didn’t see Benny. The driver she thought was in her late 60’s or 70’s. My conclusion is she was just not concentrating. I’ve been quite angry as we were just coming out of the other side from the loss of my father in law. Then this has brought up the more grief again.
It doesn’t really help us going over what happened as it won’t bring Benny back. I think I’ve been looking for someone to blame and we feel robbed by Benny’s loss as we all miss his energy around the home. I’ve had a week of eating crap food and drinking more than I normally do. I think I’ve done this to try to not think about all this sadness. I have got a lot in life to be grateful for so I need to remember that. Loss is a part of life that we all have to deal with and running away from these emotions wont make them go away. I’ve lost enough people I’ve loved in my life at different times so hopefully after all these years and experience of how I reacted previously I can allow myself to feel the pain without running away from it.
 
Thebull said:
I’ve lost enough people I’ve loved in my life at different times so hopefully after all these years and experience of how I reacted previously I can allow myself to feel the pain without running away from it.
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I'm sorry for your loss. May your memories enrich Benny's spirit. :hug2:
 
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