I have been reading up on perimenopause. Something that I am pretty sure I am going through right now, and for longer than I thought. The Perimenopause Blog has been an exceptional resource. I've posted some articles below from that site and from a couple of other places on perimenopause.
As far as supplements, daily I have been taking Primrose oil 1300mg 2x, 400IU vitamin E 3x, 4000 IU Vitamin D & 100 mg Vitamin K2 1x, multi-B 1x, 625mg magnesium malate 3x and GABA Calm 250mg 3x. They help a lot! Especially the primrose, vitamin E, magnesium and GABA.
I would add rashes too. They appeared on my legs. The primrose oil took care of them. Mine looked somewhat like this, but not as severe. They happened mostly at night and went away in about 1/2 an hour after I'd wake up.
More from WebMD:
http://www.webmd.com/menopause/guide/guide-perimenopause
http://www.healthline.com/health-blogs/hold-that-pause/at-what-age-does-perimenopause-begin
http://www.theperimenopauseblog.com/35-symptoms-of-perimenopause-good-grief/
More on grief and perimenopause from a reader of the perimenopause blog:
As far as supplements, daily I have been taking Primrose oil 1300mg 2x, 400IU vitamin E 3x, 4000 IU Vitamin D & 100 mg Vitamin K2 1x, multi-B 1x, 625mg magnesium malate 3x and GABA Calm 250mg 3x. They help a lot! Especially the primrose, vitamin E, magnesium and GABA.
35 Symptoms of Perimenopause
by Magnolia on September 5, 2014
When I was in the midst of the worst of my perimenopause symptoms, I had one over-riding thought:
“I feel like I’m going crazy”
Yes, I had hot flashes, night sweats, irregular periods and those gawdawful mood-swings. But without question, the underlying and most compelling emotion was that I was certain I was finally going nuts. In fact, it was my anxiety and emotional turmoil that drove me to begin blogging about perimenopause in the first place.
Like most women, I needed to talk through my anxiety and emotional angst so that I could sort through the feelings and make some sense out of what was happening to me. Perhaps that is what has brought you here as well.
Maybe you’re feeling crazy too, vulnerable, not yourself, and hanging on by a very thin thread. So, before I go any further, let me say very plainly – I understand, and you are not going crazy.
It’s difficult to explain to others who have not been through it, what perimenopause feels like. It’s especially difficult to explain to our husbands who can’t begin to understand or even remotely connect to the female experience. Not only is this frustrating but it can add to the feelings of isolation and vulnerability.
The symptoms and signs of perimenopause are long and varied. You may have many or a few. There is no typical perimenopausal experience, though most women seem to have hot flashes, night sweats, irregular periods and mood-swings. In fact, these four symptoms are usually what signals to women that they are in perimenopause – which, by the way are similar to Yaz birth control side effects, which you can learn about at DrugNews.
As of right now, most experts, health care providers and those devoted to understanding and helping women in perimenopause agree there are at least 35 symptoms of perimenopause. It’s not necessarily a comprehensive list but it’s certainly a good starting point.
If you have any of these symptoms and feel you may be in perimenopause see a physician or health care provider right away. The good news is we have plenty of options. Just do something. There is no reason to suffer with perimenopause if we don’t have to.
35 Symptoms of Perimenopause
Hot flashes, flushes, night sweats and/or cold flashes, clammy feeling
Irregular heart beat
Irritability
Mood swings, sudden tears
Trouble sleeping through the night (with or without night sweats)
Irregular periods; shorter, lighter periods; heavier periods, flooding; phantom periods, shorter cycles, longer cycles
Loss of libido
Dry vagina
Crashing fatigue
Anxiety, feeling ill at ease
Feelings of dread, apprehension, doom
Difficulty concentrating, disorientation, mental confusion
Disturbing memory lapses
Incontinence, especially upon sneezing, laughing; urge incontinence
Itchy, crawly skin
Aching, sore joints, muscles and tendons
Increased tension in muscles
Breast tenderness
Headache change: increase or decrease
Gastrointestinal distress, indigestion, flatulence, gas pain, nausea
Sudden bouts of bloat
Depression
Exacerbation of existing conditions
Increase in allergies
Weight gain
Hair loss or thinning, head, pubic, or whole body; increase in facial hair
Dizziness, vertigo, light-headedness, episodes of loss of balance
Changes in body odor
Electric shock sensation under the skin and in the head
Tingling in the extremities
Gum problems, increased bleeding
Burning tongue, burning roof of mouth, bad taste in mouth, change in breath odor
Osteoporosis (after several years)
Changes in fingernails: softer, crack or break easier
Tinnitus: ringing in ears, bells, ‘whooshing,’ buzzing etc.
I would add rashes too. They appeared on my legs. The primrose oil took care of them. Mine looked somewhat like this, but not as severe. They happened mostly at night and went away in about 1/2 an hour after I'd wake up.
More from WebMD:
Perimenopause
Perimenopause, or menopause transition, begins several years before menopause. It's the time when the ovaries gradually begin to make less estrogen. It usually starts in a woman's 40s, but can start in her 30s or even earlier.
Perimenopause lasts up until menopause, the point when the ovaries stop releasing eggs. In the last 1 to 2 years of perimenopause, this drop in estrogen speeds up. At this stage, many women have menopause symptoms.
How Long Does Perimenopause Last?
The average length of perimenopause is 4 years, but for some women this stage may last only a few months or continue for 10 years. Perimenopause ends when a woman has gone 12 months without having her period.
What Are the Signs of Perimenopause?
Women in perimenopause have at least some these symptoms:
Hot flashes
Breast tenderness
Worse premenstrual syndrome
Lower sex drive
Fatigue
Irregular periods
Vaginal dryness; discomfort during sex
Urine leakage when coughing or sneezing
Urinary urgency (an urgent need to urinate more frequently)
Mood swings
Trouble sleeping
http://www.webmd.com/menopause/guide/guide-perimenopause
At What Ages Does Perimenopause Begin?
By Magnolia Miller | Published Jul 25, 2012
Western medicine isn't always precise. When it comes to menopause and perimenopause, trust your instincts.In order to understand when perimenopause begins, it’s important to understand the difference between perimenopause and actual menopause.
Menopause is generally defined as when a women has not had a menstrual cycle for twelve consecutive months. Once that time is reached, the subsequent years are referred to as the post-menopause years.
Peri-menopause then, is defined as the time prior to actual menopause. It is the time when women exhibit symptoms of their shifting hormonal landscape. Hot flashes, night sweats, mood swings, irregular menstrual cycles, are all symptoms which indicate perimenopause.
However, there is often a lot of confusion surrounding the actual age at which a woman is considered to be in perimenopause. I’m not exactly certain why that is, but it is nonetheless very common for women who are in their 40s to be told they are too young to be in perimenopause.
The Medical Law of Averages
Thanks to all of the science and statistics involved in Western medicine, most health issues are defined and understood by averages. Risks for certain diseases and health conditions are all calculated and determined in an actuary type fashion, with a variety of variables (family history, age, gender, race, etc.,) influencing what those numbers are.
While these systems are helpful in defining what can sometimes be very nebulous ideas surrounding our physical bodies, these same systems can sometimes lock physicians into a boiler plate mentality, rendering them incapable of believing what their eyes and ears might be telling them. After all, if something does not fit into what is already defined, then it is easily dismissed.
Therefore, if a physician believes that menopause does not occur until sometime in a woman’s 50s and that the transition period is only about 2 years, then it is not difficult to understand how and why so many women are told they are not in perimenopause when they are in their 30s and early 40s.
But the reality is that many women begin to enter perimenopause not only in their early 40s, but also in their mid to late 30s as well. Though some women show absolutely no symptoms of perimenopause whatsoever until their late 40s and early 50s.
However, if we keep with the law of averages, the average age a woman enters perimenopause is sometime in her mid-40s. Barring some other physical illness which should be ruled out if at all possible, if you are in your mid to late 30s or even in your early 40s and you are exhibiting what you believe are symptoms of perimenopause, then you are very likely entering perimenopause.
Trust Your Instinct
The intuitive nature of women is powerful. Unfortunately, when faced with the facts of science and medicine, we tend to discount what we may actually know because it is not something that has “facts and figures” attached to it.
Do not underestimate your instincts and hunches regarding your health. If you suspect you might be entering perimenopause, trust yourself. No one is a better advocate or expert in matters pertaining to your personal health than you.
http://www.healthline.com/health-blogs/hold-that-pause/at-what-age-does-perimenopause-begin
35 Symptoms of Perimenopause: Good Grief
by Magnolia on December 11, 2011
Post image for 35 Symptoms of Perimenopause: Good Grief
Okay, technically, grief is not usually mentioned as a symptom of perimenopause. But, it should be. Because, believe it or not, good old fashioned mourning and an overwhelming sense of loss (aka, grief) is something that many women experience when they enter perimenopause.
It usually comes out of left field too. I mean, most of us are expecting hot flashes. And we’re usually prepared for a few good rounds of night sweats and mood swings too. But, who is prepared for grief? Yet, grief and the process of grieving, is as much a part of perimenopause as hot flashes, night sweats and mood swings.
We Should be Talking About This
Unfortunately, very little is said about grieving during perimenopause. Why that is, I do not know. Maybe we lump it in under the broader heading of mood swings and depression and don’t identify it as grief.
But, we shouldn’t, because grief is not like irritability, weepiness, hormonally induced depression or even those dreaded rages. It is about mourning a loss and coming to terms with a new life on the other side of that loss.
The Life You Once Lived Has Passed
Usually when we speak of grief, it is in the context of death. We understand that grief is based in loss and death is certainly a loss. But, in many ways, perimenopause is a death too. No, it is not a physical death, but it is a biological death, and most definitely a loss.
It is the loss of your life as you once knew it. It is the loss of a personal identity that many of us defined by our fertility and sexuality. Not to mention the roles in our life that grew out of fertility and sexuality, like marriage and family.
So, it only stands to reason that when fertility ceases, menstrual cycles end, sexuality changes, children leave home, and we get older, that a sense of loss is experienced.
And speaking of getting older – grief during perimenopause is often compounded by the fact that many of us fear getting older. Yeah, we all pay lip service to the notion that we are aging and that one day we will die.
But, which one of us is running forward to meet old age and death, much less embracing it?
Unfortunately, life doesn’t give us a choice about aging or dying, and neither does perimenopause.
There is only one ending to this story and that is, life as you once knew it is over – hence, the grief.
Allow the Change to Occur
If you know anything about grief and loss, then you probably know that denial is one of the primary coping mechanisms.
Denial is like psychological blinders and ear plugs. It cushions you from the full psychological and emotional impact of loss, which enables us to cope. In the appropriate context, a certain amount of denial can be healthy.
But, chronic denial which is rooted in fear can be not only crippling and paralyzing, but it can keep us stuck in place, spinning our wheels and creating a rut which is just short of the grave.
In her book The Wisdom of Menopause: Creating Physical and Emotional Health and Healing During the Change, Dr. Christiane Northrup addresses the transition and transformation of perimenopause and says that we need to allow ourselves to feel the “pain of loss and grieve for those parts of our lives that we are leaving behind.”
“We should allow ourselves to feel the pain of loss and grieve for those parts of our lives that we are leaving behind.”
The grief process requires that we move through the change. We don’t avoid it. We don’t fight against it or push it to the side for a rainy day.
We have to allow ourselves to fully experience the emotions and pain of loss in order to heal and come out whole on the other side.
Otherwise, we may find ourselves stuck in the pain and wounds of emotional baggage that only serves to weigh us down.
Ah…..Menopause
For all that is said about the perimenopause, there should be equally as much said about actual menopause. But, unfortunately, we just don’t talk about how great life can be once we transition through perimenopause.
While there is definitely a sadness associated with leaving behind the years that brought us to the pivotal point of menopause, it seems to me, that life no longer punctuated by a period doesn’t sound half bad.
Can I hear an amen?
http://www.theperimenopauseblog.com/35-symptoms-of-perimenopause-good-grief/
More on grief and perimenopause from a reader of the perimenopause blog:
Today’s Dear Magnolia post is from Lisa.
Lisa is grieving.
Yes, she’s also experiencing other symptoms of perimenopause, namely, anxiety, depression, and other symptoms related to estrogen dominance. But, she’s also struggling with grief .
Grief is the part of perimenopause that no one talks about. Well, not very much.
Grief doesn’t sell, I guess.
You can’t take birth control pills, drugs, hormones, or some kind of food supplement, to erase the sadness and heavy heart one feels when grieving. No amount of therapy really helps either.
And you don’t just “get over” grief. You have to go through it. That’s it. There are no short-cuts or easy ways out. You have to feel the emotions, experience the sadness, and work your way through to the other side.¹
Most of you know that I recently became divorced. At the beginning of the divorce process in 2011, my father died. Just after my divorce was final in 2013, my mother died.
Ask me about grief.
Grief in perimenopause might not be as overwhelming as the grief of losing a marriage or one’s parents. But there is loss in perimenopause. , and where there is loss, there is grief. t is grief just the same. In perimenopause you lose your fertility. You lose hormones. You lose the ability to have more children. You lose the life that you knew thus far, and all that it represents. And now that you are in mid-life, there are no guarantees you have as many years left on this earth as you have lived getting here.
So, there’s that very sobering truth.
Perimenopause means you’re saying good-bye to the “young you” and getting acquainted with a “new you. ” But, it’s not an easy introduction. You have go through all of those other symptoms too – and it’s not easy.
I thought Lisa’s comment was poignant, and a perfect example of how women feel when they are grieving in perimenopause. She’s not unique, but her grief is certainly her own. I do not mean to diminish it in anyway when I say it is common.
Grief is common. But, when it’s yours, it’s unique.
Lisa
Hi Magnolia.
I just wanted to add my voice to the many women who’ve thanked you for sharing your experience and wisdom on this blog. I’m 43 and perimenopausal (at least, I think I am; I had a hysterectomy six years ago and only kept one ovary, so I don’t have periods).
After a few crippling bouts of anxiety and depression to the point where I was housebound, my doctor had some blood work done and explained I was in perimenopause.
She put me on bioidentical estrogen and progesterone. After several months of no improvement I got myself a saliva test that indicated I was estrogen dominant. So I’ve cut out the estrogen and have had my progesterone increased from 100 mg to 200 mg.
It’s only been a month on that regimen, so I think I have a long way to go. She also thinks I may be suffering from adrenal fatigue. I guess the stress of feeling like crap all the time, and the fact that I don’t sleep well anymore has compromised my system even worse.
The hardest part is, I think, the grief. I go through bouts of anxiety and depression, but the grief is just constant. It’s this sadness that just follows me everywhere. It’s in every thought and everything I do. I have such a hard time explaining how I feel to people who’ve never been there.
My kids are still fairly young (11 and 8). But, all I can do is cry over the fact that they’re not babies anymore. I feel so old and useless. I used to take great pride in keeping a good house and being a good cook. Now, all I do is look around and think how I’m only good for cleaning toilets and frankly, who gives a crap about dinner?
Anyway, I just had to thank you. You’ve helped me keep what’s left of my sanity. And even though I’m not convinced this will ever end, it helps to hear from other women who’ve survived and are enjoying life on the other side.
Magnolia
Dear Lisa,
Your comment touched me. I was in my early 40s when I began to go through perimenopause too. My children, like yours, were also young.
I remember feeling exactly the way you feel. I was getting older, my looks were leaving with each passing year, and my children would one day grow up and leave too. “Who am I and what am I living for?” was a constant refrain in my head.
That you’ve had a hysterectomy probably adds an additional layer of sadness as your children grow older, because you can’t have anymore without your ovaries and uterus.
That alone can certainly trigger a lot of grief for many women.
It is very common for women to question their worth and value when they start entering perimenopause. In Western culture where youth and beauty are revered, perimenopause and menopause is the death sentence for American women.
Though we would like to say that we are women, hear us roar, and none of these things affect us; the truth is, we can’t escape the pressures of our society and culture. When we are bombarded every day with messages that tell us we are useless and unwanted because we are no longer young, beautiful, hot, and sexually desirable, it’s certainly depressing.
I’ve been in menopause for well over 3 years now. I am passed the grief of losing my youth, my looks, and my fertility. I am now edging closer to 60. But, one of the gifts of menopause is self-acceptance. I’ve come to terms with moving past the years of reproduction. I have accepted that I am no longer the hot 30-year old I once was, and it’s okay.
I do not live with the nagging pressure to please everyone anymore; and if someone does not accept me for who I am, I do not lose one iota of sleep over it. There is great peace in that.
I’m now in graduate school pursuing my masters and soon my doctorate in a field of study I’ve always loved. I’m doing things that make me happy. Of course, you still have a few years to go before you can do things for yourself. But, those years are coming, and I can assure you you will feel less sad as you inch closer to menopause, and accepting of the change.
For now, give yourself grace. Be kind to yourself, and repeat as often as you need to……this too shall pass. Savor the times you have left with your children. They do in deed grow up and move on. Mine are now in their 20s, and late teens.
Though I sometimes long for the days when they were babies and I was the center of their world, I’m also very happy that I don’t have to change diapers anymore or referee spatting school children!