Positive Dissociation?

[Jacques]

I really like the artwork of Martin Mario Duguay.

Here are some samples of his artwork.

Those pictures were very nice, thank you for sharing :)

And it is a canadian artist. ;)

 

[Johnno]

When you come to identify with a character in a novel or movie, you are in essence learning a lesson vicariously. The identification leads you through an emotional progression. If a character grows, a part of you grows. In this regard, Dabrowski had a few insights. Dabrowski always advised for developing individuals to read the autobiographies or biographies of exemplars. To read of their experiences and growth facilitates the growth of the reader, almost as if you come to "resonate" with their experiences, thus learning from them. Also, to read novels dealing with higher level "dynamisms", like selflessness, altruism, sacrifice, morals. If you identify with a character who is then put in a situation that requires self-sacrifice, if they take that road, it helps solidify selflessness within oneself. What I've noticed today is that there are very few, if any, "exemplars" in modern movies and literature. At least not in the popular stuff.

I was thinking about this and wondered why I hadn't picked up a novel for some time. I tend to read biographies and autobiographies, I suppose they are real albeit sometimes sanitised.

Beelzebub's Tales is a good novel though!

 

[Adaryn]

-Pan's Labyrinth
Wow, very shocking view of fascist times in Spain with a clearly psychopathic character.

Oh yes, I love that one too. It was discussed here
--
For those who like the Grail legends, here's a HUGE resource, information site with a lot of illustrations of the legends from different artists:
http://www.timelessmyths.com/arthurian/

For ex:
The Lady of the Fountain, by Alan Lee (an artist working in fantasy genre and who illustrated the Lords of the Rings series)

Another good site, the Arthurian legend illustrated

My favourite: "Meeting on Turret Stairs" by Frederick Burton:

 

[Ca.]

I believe that hiking in the forest and or around nature, provides a calming effect for dissociation....intense hiking also brings about heavy and deep breathing (while also providing for a vigorous work out , that shakes out stress) adding to the positive beneficial affects of the breath.... such as for the technique's for meditative states that help provide for disassociation....photography is sometime's a way to escape the hectic pace of life as is walking ..also reading the the transcripts is a great way to step out of the box a little...................!

 

[Z...]

Now that Luthien has mentioned Alan Lee and Lord of The Rings I have to mention John Howe. In fact when it comes to LOTR illustrations I always thought Howe was the best, his images being the closest to the images I had in my head whilst reading Tolkien's books. It seems Peter Jackson thought the same as some of the movie scenes are exact replicas of Howe's paintings.
I like Alan Lee (the picture Luthien posted is beautiful) but I always thought he was a bit limited when it comes to movement and facial expressions, especially comparing to John Howe.
This is where you can see most of Howe's work:
http://www.john-howe.com/portfolio/gallery/

this is my favorite of all LOTR illustrations:

My experiences with positive dissociation?
Yes I believe there is such thing as positive dissociation. At least in my case I think it stimulates me to be more creative, gives me inspiration and can also be wonderful tool to vent out stuffed emotions.
Books or movies?
Whilst books can certainly absorb me so much so that I feel the "book's atmosphere" as I call it ( My favorite of all times being Alexandrian Quartet by Lawrence Durell) it seems visual art can suck me in even one step further.
When it comes to movies I get so "involved" that it takes me days to shake off the experience. For example after I saw the movie the Mission I was sad for days and haunted by certain images.
In fact I think movies can be used as a great tool for emotional center exercise. There was this American director from 40 ties and 50 ties called Douglas Sirk who made the whole series of - what by today's standards would be Hollywood melodrama. If you need to cry due to suppressed emotions - rent his movies.
In fact thanks to melodrama genre I learned I have a well developed anima or feminine side
If you want to check out your feminine side see this movie
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0047408/
Apart from movies I find comic books excellent medium for positive dissociation
Lawrence - Trigan Empire and Storm, Ribera and Godard - Le vagabond des Limbes, Victor Segrelles - The Mercenary, Richard Corben - Mutant's World, Modesty Blaze, Axa, Johnny Hazard and last but not least Corto Maltese by Huggo Pratt - this are all the comic books in which I spent half of my childhood and teenage years completely dissociated. I do think it was positive.

Also I noticed that somewhere along the way I lost the ability to fantasize. When younger I could always fall asleep just by playing certain movie in my head, down to every single most intricate detail, these days its impossible and it would certainly be very useful when insomnia strikes.

 

[anothermagyar]

I think all art are inseparable the way how I see nature inspire poetry, music and painting.

I know a wonderful artist he paints scenery. I saw and worked with his scenes in a little theater he was capable make you feel you are in a big space in a castle through his painted scenery. Although the stage is small like a room.
Creative visualization also knowledge and technique. osit. :)

I heard once from someone you can "paint voices".
I was thinking when you describe a voice you use colors to illustrate. Somebody has a lighter voice or pastel, somebody has a dark voice like purple velvet. Voices has shades and colors just like nature, paintings and music.

[quote author=Hidegarda] You feel that the orchestra and the choir are one giant organism. You are right that it's a full body experience; you have to stand and breath just right and keep your attention sharp. The way sound is sent into the hall also does something to you, you are very aware of it's direction and how it fills the whole space. During the performance, I noticed that our conductor's palms were beet-red, as she directed the choir, and I had an association with reiki. It takes so much energy and gives out ten times more. [/quote]
Yes. I wonder long time know, when we talk about sound wave, physics(I'm not an expert!), when you sing the "soul energy" what comes out during music resonates the person next to you, instruments and so on and the audience can resonate in the same frequency.
That's what we call "catharsis".

ca·thar·sis (k-thärss)
n. pl. ca·thar·ses (-sz)
1. Medicine Purgation, especially for the digestive system.
2. A purifying or figurative cleansing of the emotions, especially pity and fear, described by Aristotle as an effect of tragic drama on its audience.
3. A release of emotional tension, as after an overwhelming experience, that restores or refreshes the spirit.
4. Psychology
a. A technique used to relieve tension and anxiety by bringing repressed feelings and fears to consciousness.
b. The therapeutic result of this process; abreaction.

abreaction [ˌæbrɪˈækʃən]
n
(Psychoanalysis) Psychoanal the release and expression of emotional tension associated with repressed ideas by bringing those ideas into consciousness

But what if there is more meaning in art then release tension?

 

[Adaryn]

This is where you can see most of Howe's work:
http://www.john-howe.com/portfolio/gallery/

this is my favorite of all LOTR illustrations:

Excellent illustrations, I love them. They capture very well the essence and atmosphere of LOTR, IMO.

About dissociation: all my life I "stole energy from somebody else's fantasy", ie pathological dissociation, living in a fantasy world and not being in touch with the real, ie not sorting out my own life creatively. It's difficult to get rid of this strong tendency, for example when I'm strongly affected by a movie, I tend to live with it / still "be in it" for days. Same for music. I'm not even talking necessarily or only about supernatural/ black and white dramas like Matrix or Lord of the Rings (which ARE among my favourites though) but art that emotionally affects me or stirs my imagination or impresses me (like Preraphaelite art, for example). The problem with me is that I don't use it for bringing creativity in my own life. I'm more passive. Though, thinking about it, it might not be so. I mean, there are some movies/books that made me think and reflect and brought up a lot of emotions, and that sure can be considered as positive.

Here's a list of movies and books which I think might relate to Positive dissociation: real life stories that we can identify with because it could/have happen/ed to us. I often think of them, because of the accuracy of the portrayals, of the psychology of the characters, which are complex and true to life, osit.

-- "Sense and Sensibility", by Ang Lee, with Kate Winslet. This is one of my favourites.

-- An EXCELLENT movie, in the same vein: Remains of the Day, by James Ivory (based on a novel by Ishiguro), with Anthony Hopkins. Set in England before WWII. The portrayal of this man so out of touch with his own feelings is really poignant.

-- A room with a view, by James Ivory -- generally I'd recommend all Ivory's
movies because of his great psychological portrayals.

Another excellent one:
-- The Age of Innocence, by Martin Scorsese. (based on Edit Wharton's novel)
"Newland Archer (Daniel Day-Lewis) is an affluent lawyer in 1870s New York, engaged to May Welland (Winona Ryder), a beautiful but conventional socialite. Newland begins to question the life he has planned for himself after the arrival of May’s cousin, the exotic and sophisticated Countess Ellen Olenska (Michelle Pfeiffer). Ellen is a passionate lover who is seeking a divorce from her abusive husband, a Polish count, which has made her a social outcast and greatly displeases her family, who are afraid of scandal. As Newland grows to love and care more and more deeply for Ellen, having convinced her not to press for a divorce, he becomes increasingly disillusioned with the society to which he belongs and the idea of entering into a passionless marriage with May. The question at this point, is whether he will follow society's dictates, or those of his heart. The film, closely mirroring the novel, gives no simple answer."

A GREAT movie by Ang Lee, the director of "Sense and Sensibility":

-- the Ice Storm; highly recommended! Highlights the dysfunctionments in two families in
the US of the 70's. A very accurate portrayal of human (lack of) interaction and
emotional dynamics and (or so they said, since I wasn't there) of the US society in the 70's. Again, characters here are totally out of touch with their own feelings and totally locked in their own bubbles. There is NO communication whatsoever. The director did a brilliant job at highlighting this, IMO.

-- Another very good one: Samsara. About a Tibetan monk who chooses to experience
"real life" by leaving his monastery and marrying, becoming a farmer, etc. Ie: becoming an obyvatel. Brings up profound truths, osit.

-- I'd like to mention "Lions for Lambs" too. It made me think, because I tried to imagine what I would do if I were confronted to the same situation as the character played by Meryl Streep.

Now, there are of course Ken Loach's movies. I only saw a few of them, but the one that really impressed me was "Family Life" (1971). If you can get hold of a copy, do so! Set in the 70's UK, it depicts the descent into hell of a teenage girl who is deemed as "not normal", problematic and different by her conservative and self-righteous parents, whereas the real issue is just the dysfunctional relationship and the conflict with her parents, who, stuck in their "straight vision" of the world, are totally unable to understand her. They attempt to get her back in line by submitting her to "psychological treatment". She gradually falls more into depression, which ends up by her being insitutionalised and submitted to electrical shocks. An appalling story.

-- Another good one too by Ken Loach is "Sweet sixteen".

Most of his movies revolve around family dynamics, social problems, the issue of youth… they're very true to life, humanistic and with a lot of empathy. I consider them as positive.

--Now, when it comes to books, I immediately think of Katherine Mansfield, whose grasp of human psychology is SO accurate and true.
You can read some of her short stories online

There's also a short thread about her on the forum: http://www.cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php?topic=6617.0

I also would like to mention the tales in "Women who run with Wolves" (Clarissa Pinkola Estes), because they don't appear to me as Black/White, but are much richer than that.

Here's what I have come up with for the moment. I hope they're good examples of what we're talking about here (positive dissociation).

 

[jar]

This is an interesting thread and has made me realize a few things. First I tend to like Documentary, Sci-fi, Action Adventure, Comedy, Independent, Thrillers type movies more so than -try to be life like- Drama’s type movies.

Thinking about it, I view movies as entertainment, and don’t like to be drawn in and hooked emotionally. (Not that it doesn’t happen!) Maybe it’s the feeling of being manipulated into that feeling. I don’t now. Though I suppose that’s the whole objective of the director - to get the audience hooked.

After saying this, one of my favorite movies is “The Last of the Mohicans” which I have watched several times and I rarely watch movies more than once! Go figure

Positive vs. negative dissociation- good thread.

 

[shellycheval]

Positive disassociation definitely has its place in doing The Work IMHO. It appears to be a time of recharging--a time to stop the "hamster wheel" monkey mind and reset. Appreciating any of the arts holds one's attention in the moment and shuts out all the craziness for a short time. My walls are filled with prints of Degas, Van Gogh, Cezanne, Sargent, Whistler, and Waterhouse, etc. I definitely think beautiful art changes the energy in a place for the positive, and that the opposite is also true--think of the Denver airport murals! I can read for hours, and love watching good movies. Looking at any of them is like taking a mini trip somewhere for a time--very soothing.

Creating art also appears to be a powerful way to disassociate positively. To do any creative work, drawing, painting, music, etc. one must be present, in the moment, and have a good flow of energy. This is also true of the physical arts involving movement like dance, the various martial arts, and some sports movements. When one is "in the zone" so to speak, the rest of the world falls away and there is only the movement and the moment. Mind, body and spirit harmonize to the present movement and one gets "carried away." Horseback riding does this for me, and I have had people who are into dance report the same feelings. The good thing about the arts is there is something out there for everyone. I have had some very nice "vacations" knitting an afghan, while listening to "Celtic Circle," and looking up at " The Lady of Shallot."
shellycheval

 

[samii]

Daydreaming, watching movies, playing games, reading, used as a form of
learn, experimentation and rehearsal of real-life issues that are played
out free from the constraints of reality, where we can give free rein to
our emotions and ideas so as to test them, wonder about them, and then
select good ones and make plans to implement them, seems to me to be
healthy and life-affirming.

That's how I do it now,

Before I used to dissociate and let out steam by punching bags, screaming, and blowing my tormentors with a shotgun in my imagination. It makes me feel good momentarily. Talk about wishful thinking.

But now I just keep my cool and imagine a more plausible/ realistic outcome where I'm in charge and I win. It may still be wishful thinking but it's more aligned with reality.

 

[1984]

Positive disassociation definitely has its place in doing The Work IMHO. It appears to be a time of recharging--a time to stop the "hamster wheel" monkey mind and reset. Appreciating any of the arts holds one's attention in the moment and shuts out all the craziness for a short time. My walls are filled with prints of Degas, Van Gogh, Cezanne, Sargent, Whistler, and Waterhouse, etc. I definitely think beautiful art changes the energy in a place for the positive, and that the opposite is also true--think of the Denver airport murals! I can read for hours, and love watching good movies. Looking at any of them is like taking a mini trip somewhere for a time--very soothing.

Creating art also appears to be a powerful way to disassociate positively. To do any creative work, drawing, painting, music, etc. one must be present, in the moment, and have a good flow of energy. This is also true of the physical arts involving movement like dance, the various martial arts, and some sports movements. When one is "in the zone" so to speak, the rest of the world falls away and there is only the movement and the moment. Mind, body and spirit harmonize to the present movement and one gets "carried away." Horseback riding does this for me, and I have had people who are into dance report the same feelings. The good thing about the arts is there is something out there for everyone. I have had some very nice "vacations" knitting an afghan, while listening to "Celtic Circle," and looking up at " The Lady of Shallot."
shellycheval

Hi shellycheval - just a reminder of the definitions of 'dissociate' and 'disassociate': ;)

"disassociation or dissociation" (from Encarta)

Both these words, and the verbs (disassociate, dissociate) from which they come,
share the meaning "separation from a relationship with another," and in this
sense they are interchangeable: sought disassociation/dissociation from the
scandal;sought to dissociate/disassociate themselves from the
scandal.

Dissociation, however, does have two senses not shared by
disassociation: in psychology and psychiatry, "separation of emotions as a
defense mechanism" and in chemistry, "the breaking up of a molecule into simpler
components." Do not confuse the two words."

 

[endgame]

I like some sci-fi, alot have been mentioned like; documentaries, battlestar galactica, stargate atlantis, twin peaks, the prisoner. Shows that sometimes can be symbolic on the world and the human condition. The same with movies like, matrix, they live, v for vendetta etc.
I'm also a simpsons and futurama man :)
For some creative positive dissociation I try to make music. I've long thought that the creative process is more important to me than the actual result.

 

[Gawan]

[...]
Back in high school, I took a course in visual arts, as I was considering entering an art school. I was pretty soon disillusioned and discouraged by the
teacher: drawings and paintings I showed him were not ABSTRACT enough. I was showing him real, concrete things like still life or cartoon type characters; but this is NOT art. Art is supposed to be abstract, "intellectual", conceptual. In short, cold, distant, and inhuman --something that the man in the street, the "vile populace", can't comprehend or relate too. This kind of art is indeed pathological.

After witnessing one of my friend's very negative experience with art school, I'm glad I didn't choose this path. Students as well as teachers were just a
bunch of narcissistic navel gazing and arrogant people who thought they were the creme de la creme, just because they took a bowl, filled it with water and exposed it in an empty room -- and teachers called that art...
This experience was very destructive for my friend, and she fell into depression after the teachers trashed her school year project (I witnessed it, and they were really nasty to her). She had to give up. And yet, I think she had potential.
Another student of that school was also trashed for taking pictures which the teachers deemed as "too esthetic". That sums it all up, I think.

Another of these mental giants, Walter Benjamin, believed that the purpose of art was to make people as miserable as possible, for pessimism was an essential preliminary to world revolution. "To organize pessimism," he pointed out portentously, "means nothing other than to expel the moral metaphor from politics." Benjamin succeeded only too well in making himself miserable. He committed suicide.

This reminds me of another "anecdote" regarding that particular art school my friend attended to. There was a story running in that school, that several years ago, one of the final year students hung himself… as part of his "final year school project". I don't know if it's true, but it just gives an idea of the
kind of mentality being promulgated, where suicide is considered as artistic and where art has to be pessimistic, nihilistic, driving people into despair.

I agree with you I have gone through something similar myself. I applied for several art-schools be it for acting or photography, it is indeed very difficult to get in, if you have not elbows and when you are not full of self esteem. Not to say that it is impossible to get in without elbows, but my impression has been later on you will need them to sell your work, to get on stage and something like that, unfortunately. I struggled a long time with acting and what is happening behind the scenes, most of the time the egotistical behavior, lying and false words, made me kind of sick and took me a long process over some years to put art as a professional -wish- aside and to study something totally different.
But I said to me I keep that spirit within me, so I can create what I like to (draw, photograph etc.) and not what I have to.

Nonetheless this has been my experience from my subjective point of view.

In Secondary school, in my home country, we have to choose our field of study. Since I had been very fond of drawing all my life (something that could be taken as positive dissociation?) I chose visual arts. It didn't go very well...actually it didn't go well at all since it turned out to be the last 3 years where I would ever grab a pencil to draw. My experience was similar to what was described in Luthien's post (reply 39) To top all that up, one of my teachers once asked me to describe a painting that I enjoyed, and I described precisely Venus from Botticelli,

his comment was destructive, something in the lines of that I should be persuing more intelligent art... Adolescence is a very vulnerable age, I thought that as a teacher he should know better then I did and repressed my own feelings. The consequences of this were nasty.
I haven't thought about this for years and when I started reading this thread, the memories came back and are now extremely hard to swallow back.....

The most vivid memories I have from those classes, and that is part of the reason why I found the article so disturbing, is the never ending discusions about how any and everything is art, including Marcel Duchamp's urinols! My values were turned upside down, I felt confused, stupid and eventually lost interest in art. Loosing interest was not real, but more a way of not having to face the fact that I didn't understand it and because of that I was probably stupid.
[...]

This reminded me of the movie from Pink Floyd: "The wall" and one specific scene: "The laddie reckons himself a poet! [...] Absolute rubbish laddie."_http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lunIGnMpETs&fmt=18&annotation_id=annotation_466579&feature=iv
Somehow this kind of song is also really impressing, because it is expressing the soul?!

In art I tend to look for concepts, for what the artist was going through when he painted/wrote and I'm always more interested about the "vécu" and the experience behind the canvas/book. Laura's post forced me to wonder why. So I thought about all afternoon.

What I like sometimes to do is, not to look for concepts by itself, but I try to find something out about the private life of the artist, what he/she has been going through, what kind of human it has been/it is. As an example I really liked Picassos paintings, so I bought a book from him and tried as well to get a glimpse behind these paintings, with the result that I have now an ambivalent feeling for his paintings, because he had been really kind of selfish and self-centered.

From time to time, this point of view leads Mr. Richardson to rationalize Picasso's selfish behavior: he writes, for instance, that Picasso ''behaved with exemplary concern'' when his mistress Eva Gouel lay dying of cancer, even though the artist was already auditioning other women as her replacement. Such lapses, however, are rare. For the most part, Mr. Richardson is even-handed in his depiction of Picasso's tumultuous personal life, emphasizing the ways in which his relationships were mirrored in his art: how the painter routinely deified and eroticized his mistresses in his work, then later dissected them as whores and beasts as his love for them began to darken.

_http://www.nytimes.com/1996/11/08/books/magician-and-miscreant-of-modernism-continued.html

[...]

In a nutshell, I'd say the most valuable dissociative dramas are those with flawed, complex, realistic characters who learn or grow in some way, which takes you through a similar process. One of my recent favorites was the German Sophie Scholl movie. The scene where her mother visits her in prison before her execution was heartbreaking. Not only did the film give practical insights into the nature of pathocracy, it also took you through the inner experiences of just a few people who were forced to learn some big lessons as a result of their own carelessness.

IMO this is a really beautiful view on novels, somehow it remided me as well on this forum, to learn from the -real- stories from each other.

As for creating art i'm not sure, don't get me wrong it is something very important, and as a someone said, "every human being is born a poet", we just have to find it where it is inside of us. I speak for my self, i really like to draw, even if my natural gift for it isn't that great, and it seems that it serves more to put things outside than to put things inside. Perhaps when we observe someone else's art, that interests us, the process reverts.

I go with you, to take the prayer of the soul: "Of all creation [...] As I give bread to others" can mean everything, we just have to find our talents and our purpose I think, in order to give and to create (be it sewing, digging whatever). And as well as RedFox stated art could also be our "bread".

 

[Alana]

[quote author=Dr Lasha Darkmoon]Art, I found out later, was about making money. Organized Jewry taught me this. Art dealer Paul Rosenberg says, "A painting is only beautiful when it sells." Jewish president of the Marlborough Gallery, Frank Lloyd, confirms this: "There is only one measure of success in running a gallery: making money."[/quote]

Interesting that art also became about economics, no? Reminds me a lot of Almost Human where Laura writes - and which answers Dr Darkmoon's following question:

The question we need to ask is: Who runs the Art Market and how did it become a freak circus?

[...] it isn't even necessary for a grand and logistically complex government mind-control program to be in operation in order to produce the conditions necessary to ultimate enforce total controls on humanity. It is only necessary to have strategically placed psychopaths in the population, to train and influence selected ones in particular ways through what would be seen on the surface as "ordinary means", and simply calculate the fact that they will always operate with their dominant strategy - serving self.

 

[Alana]

I finally caught up with the posts, and truly this is a very inspiring thread! Thank you :D

About dissociation: all my life I "stole energy from somebody else's fantasy", ie pathological dissociation, living in a fantasy world and not being in touch with the real, ie not sorting out my own life creatively. It's difficult to get rid of this strong tendency, for example when I'm strongly affected by a movie, I tend to live with it / still "be in it" for days. Same for music. I'm not even talking necessarily or only about supernatural/ black and white dramas like Matrix or Lord of the Rings (which ARE among my favourites though) but art that emotionally affects me or stirs my imagination or impresses me (like Preraphaelite art, for example). The problem with me is that I don't use it for bringing creativity in my own life. I'm more passive. Though, thinking about it, it might not be so. I mean, there are some movies/books that made me think and reflect and brought up a lot of emotions, and that sure can be considered as positive.

How you describe yourself in your post Lúthien, describes me to a T. i don't know however if this is about "steeling someone else's fantasy". For my part, and i think might be true for you too, i use books/music/movies/stories/art, as a way to, yes, take something that somebody else created out there, but in order to assimilate it/make use for it for my own purposes. For example, when i enter a movie/book/story, i do it in order to find something in it that i am in need of it: a lesson, new knowledge, new perspectives, different examples, hope, catharsis, role models, a reason to cry my eyes out or laugh out loud and release emotional tension. And i am too fully in it: i am part of the plot, perhaps one character or many, part of the painting, the music travels through me.

I'd say that's the positive type of dissociation, but it can be i didn't really get Laura's idea. And i wonder to what extend "what" one watches/reads/listen/sees makes a difference, compared to "who" is watching/reading/listening/seeing, and "why". And yes, like others said, i have too used movies and books (books and cartoons) especially as a child, to leave my unpleasant reality, and allow my favorite characters to escort me on journeys and adventures far away from where i was.

Of course, becoming oneself the creator of the story, the music, the painting, the performance, would be the ultimate form of positive dissociation, when it is done in order to "transmute" emotions into art form, or share a story.

In my work as an art therapist, i am honored to be allowed into the inner world of people through their artwork and life stories, and it is such a powerful experience, both for the one who shares and the one on the receiving end, and in some "magical" way that i can't explain, it somehow changes both.

Now, reading what Laura asks:

So, my question relates more directly to: Okay, we know that we have this need to get relief, let's figure out how BEST to utilize it to undo the damage that is being done.

it really makes me wonder if i am on the right track with the above.

Few movies and books for possible PD that come to mind right now (some are inspired/recalled from all your posts :) ):

- Shakespearean plays/movies

- Jane Austin books/movies

- I too like Agatha Christie's movies/novels and Sherlock Holmes (though i rarely can spot the murderer on my own :( )

- Plays/movies by Tenessy Williams (Glass Managerie and Hot Cat on a Tin Roof come to mind)

- The movie "Magnolia"

An epic mosaic of several interrelated characters in search of happiness, forgiveness, and meaning

excellent portrayal by Tom Cruise of a guy who hated his misogynist father but ended up the same as him, and his blindness in not seeing it coming and becoming! And that's just one of the stories!

- A Dutch movie, and an all times favorite: "Antonia's Line"

A Dutch matron establishes and, for several generations, oversees a close-knit, matriarchal community where feminism and liberalism thrive.

- the classic "Citizen Caine", about the secret longing of a powerful man and his private life (if you haven't watched it and you intent to, do NOT read the plot)

- "The mirror has two faces" about relationships, and on the same note: When Harry met Sally.

- "How to make an American quilt", where the stories of the lives of the elderly relatives of a bride-to-be unfold over the art of quilt-making.

- "The Hours"

The story of how the novel "Mrs. Dalloway" affects three generations of women, all of whom, in one way or another, have had to deal with suicide in their lives.

- Real story movies and biographies, like "City of God", "Erin Brockovich" and
"Hotel Rwanda", all about people fighting pathocracy. Of the same genre, i watched last night Clint Eastwood's "Changeling", which is an excellent portrayal about the length a corrupt state power will go to, to make sure they never loose their power privileges and the pain and suffering they spread to all the town's citizens, or how many innocent lives are lost in the process. Featuring the portrait of a mass murdering psychopath. Disturbing, more so because it is a true story.

- every person imprisoned must watch The Shawshank Redemption imo ;)

- and again, Clint Eastwood's "The bridges of Madison County", because if i need to cry and can't, this movie and "Love story" do it always!

- I am also wondering whether TV series, Brothers & Sisters can be in our list, i only watched two episodes, but it seems to be dealing with family dynamics. Perhaps US forum members might have some input on this.

- ah! Also about family dynamics, and for good laughter, My Big Fat Greek Wedding. I am of the impression that it portrays not only Greek families, but Jewish and Italian ones to some extent. The people i watched it with were Americans with Greek in-laws, who did not find it very funny because it hit close to home

Books:

Leo Tolstoy's "Anna Karenina", for an interesting view into a woman's psychological make up. I was surprised that a man wrote this one with such insight.

Wally Lamb's "She's come undone", an emotional journey to maturity of a woman with deep childhood traumas.

Margaret Mitchell's, "Gone with the wind", for a lot of interesting characters, the choices they make and their consequences, before during and after American civil war, told from the Southern's point of view. Became a great movie also. But the book... it was something else!

For children:

- "Little house in the Prairie" book Series , about the real life story of Laura Ingllas and her family in late 1800s and early 1900s America, as pilgrims trying to built their houses and communities on their own.

- Candy Candy, my favorite childhood Japanese animation series, and my childhood friend even if 2D about the life and struggles and victories of an orphan girl. It was never aired in the US, but was widely popular in Europe and Latin America in the late 70s and early 80s. Growing up in Cyprus of the late 70s early 80s, we had the "choice" of only one state tv channel, that was on air from 4 pm to midnight, so books were my only option, usually fairy tales and then novels, mostly romantic with happy endings. Since life sucked, i wanted my dissociations to have happy endings... I still do Whatever everyone around me finds cheese, i like it.

Same with art work. Pre Raphaelites that some of you mentioned are among my favorites, and so is Bouguereau, Rubens, Mucha, and more contemporary Susan Sedon Boulet.

I remember once in Art history class we had to make a presentation about our favorite painting of our favorite painter. I presented John Everette Millais Ophelia (i felt mad and suicidal like her at the time ), and noone could understand why i liked it (students or lecturer) they even called it Kitsch!

I mean, just look at it!

John Everett Millais, Ophelia​

And for more beauty ;)

William Bouguereau, Le Ravissement de Psyche [The Abduction of Psyche]​

That's it for now. I hope i got some of what we are looking for. If not, i'll try again later :)