i want to thank you Deckard for starting this thread the information that i've read here from all who participated whom i also i'm thankful,helped me to understand many things about psychic attacks,also Black Swan provided very useful information about NEGs ,i just want to say that whole my life i've experienced kind of psychic and emotional attacks ,at a very fragile age since i was 11-12 years old ,i remember that when i was i child i was always very sensitive not emotionally but more psychically or more correct would be psychically sensitive and very opened minded with a big imagination and a very strong adventurous spirit even i remember that on few occasions i even remember that when i was a child i had a strong intuition ,could "see" many coming events in symbolic images at that age i didn't knew how its works but interestingly the symbolical images i could with no difficulty interpret i'm writing all of this to make more clear the upcoming events ,after i started to be interested in religion at a very early age 11-12 years being "inspired" by my grandmother who was a very religious person,i started to change little by little ,more sensitive emotionally even i would say very deep emotionally sensitive ,obsessed with religion,every day i was praying and crying don't know why ,i started to change quickly from a very energetic boy ,opened ,adventurous to a passive,emotionally sensitive with very strong headaches even depressions at a age of 11-12 years and i'm very sincere and i don't lie , little by little more i was praying and seeking for God more depressive i became ,more headaches i even dropped almost a semester at school because i couldn't concentrate ,focus on other things , i visited a neurologist ,the doctor didn't find anything ,prescribed some medicine which didn't helped me much because the things started get even worse,i stopped to eat normally ,to talk to my friends ,day by day,month by month i was in a continual depression(indeed a very real depression),very often i started to have doubts about my sanity and maybe it could get even worse but at that time being problems in the family my parents get divorced and i with my brothers and my mom had moved out (all these horrible depressions maybe had something to do with problems in the family but like i said all started when i began to be interested in religion i'm very sure of it )after we moved out things started to change a bit but not for long,my mom not being supported materially from our father had to go to work outside the country for a couple of years ,i with my brothers meantime lived with a cousin of ours ,a good person,when my mom had gone for work ,i being in a new place ,having no friends,not being fully cured of depressions i had ,at school kids being hostile with me the old story had began ,headaches,depressions,couldn't concentrate at school,and at that time i've noticed that i became to think a lot,a lot, a lot , and i want to say i'm ,was and would be always a good person because this is my nature , i don't claim that i'm a saint and didn't do any mistakes or hurt anybody but i want to say for sure i always didn't like and didn't respect to judge somebody,to be arrogant,nasty,dominant or intentionally to manipulate or hurt , NO au contraire i made my mistakes in life but i know that i would not hurt anyone even if he hurts me , i would try first to resolve the conflicts with words not with the muscles, all of this i wrote because it relates to the story ,like i said i started to think a lot,a lot and most of my thoughts weren't nice ,no,they were very scary,dark,depressive all these altogether lead me to try to make suicide at a age of 12 years,after the attempt i've realized that huge mistake and pain i could do to my mom and my family after that i'e started to change,i dropped " per moment " the religion ,stared to make friends,go to school, but,the attack have started in a new way now,like i said before i've started to think a lot ,(now that i'm thinking i always think a lot) and almost all my thoughts like before to try to make suicide were very dark,horrible,thoughts that made me to have doubts about my true spiritual nature and my mental sanity,i remember that after that suicide attempt i i started to receive more horrible,dark thoughts ,day by day,month by month and year by year i've struggled with my thoughts ,i remember that almost every day since i had 12 to 17 years i stayed per hours home in a quiet place and struggling with my thoughts,trying to understand why all this is happening to me,i don't remember a day between age 12-16(17) without being attacked, under pressure and all of this because of my thoughts ,i remember that in this hours o struggle ,pain, i was feeling lonely,hopeless and like living in a nightmare ,even i had some thoughts at that time that if hell exists then i'm in it and at that moment i was thinking that i don't wish kind of torture even to my worst enemy ,at the age of 16-17 i've started to take a dangerous road ,with the friends i make i started to ruin my life little by little ,to be a false personality,i've started to drink,to consume .... to escape from the reality and life i lived during this period which was about 6-7 years i've noticed a radical change in my thoughts ,no more pressure,no more depression,no more hell and i want to say that one the one hand this period of my life somehow i could say that helped me, "peacefully " living finally but on the other hand i lost very much time and the road i had take leaded me straight in the darkness and maybe destruction,living like this about 6-7 years suddenly i started to feel that if i don't change my life style i could finish bad,i stopped to drink,stopped to be friend with people i felt i'm influenced ,started to have an deep interest again about spirituality but at this time i had take another approach ,starting my searching for answers was one question that i was worried about a long time ,at that time i was more like an atheist because since the all that happened when i was a child i "dropped" the religion thing,the question i was worried was so strong that i started very often to think about it and just couldn't let it go the question was: if really nothing don't exists after death then how come ,we are just MEAT? I remember then i was thinking about this question the answer in my had being always : Yeas we are just meat, it horrified me so much that i just couldn't accept it ,i was feeling that this is not true that it has to be something there,i had a very strong feeling about this and thinking very often about this question i've start to seek answers i remember one day i talked with my brother and one of my friends about many things including mayan calendar,Nostradamus ,for me being these themes of discussion foreign at that moment ,from curiosity i've started to seek on internet about these ideas and i found many ideas ,many interesting things,i started to be more curious about paranormal phenomena,2012 idea and other things after a period of time o one day i've found russian forum dedicated to paranormal phenomena and 2012 idea ,there i've found one section called Cassiopaea and Cassiopaeans ,there i found a link to a russian site with a couple of wave chapters translated in russian language and a explanation from the author of the site who are the C's ,i was intrigued when i read the introduction then i started to read the chapters translated in russian and after a read 1 chapter from the Wave Series i felt that this is what i was looking for whole my life, i know how silly and naive it seems this attitude but i felt a very deep connection and even trust after reading next chapters(7 chapters were translated in russian) ,after i read the material aviable on that site i found a link to the original site quantumfuture.net at that moment i was very bad with reading in english language ,but little by little reading ,practicing i improved my reading skills (unfortunately i'm still bad at grammar and practical,speaking level :( )after reading first 7 chapters from the Waves Series i want to say that after a couple of months i started to make radical changes in my life,to change my behavior ,get rid of the friends and people i just felt that have an influence over me of course it wasn't simple at all let it go the friends and people with i had been close for a long period of time but i just felt that even before reading first chapters of the Wave Series that i want to make these changes in my life and after reading the material it was just the perfect moment to start to make those changes ,after a year maybe more after reading the some chapters of the Wave Series and other Laura's work ,i had i can say one of the most terrible and painful psychic/emotional attack,i don't want to tlak what kind of attack it was but it took to me almost 2 years to free my self of this terrible experience ,the design of the attack were an "old song" ,the same old technique of bombardment of very dark,horrible thoughts like when i was younger but at this time i felt that i'm stronger ,even i had doubts about my spiritual nature or soul nature again at this time thanks to Laura's work i knew that these thoughts can't be mine ,fighting against these horrible thoughts telling to myself that i know who i'm and that these thoughts aren't mine after about two years i could finally to free myself from i could say the most horrible attack i ever was under, now i keeping to work on myself to learn to study this psychic phenomena and learn how to deal with it ,all i have learned from my experience in all these years is the fact that the most horrible and scariest thing was for me (and not just for me i think) THE LACK OF KNOWLEDGE ,not knowing what is happening to you is very painful and very dangerous i felt that on my skin, all these painful experiences ,attacks and i'm sure that these were attacks don't know what kind of attacks precisely (psychic,emotional... ),but they were i repeat i'm sure of it ,i didn't see any dark entities,beings in whole my life but i felt the anxiety, the HELL,struggling with thoughts which i knew didn't belong to me, thanks to Laura and the team thanks to members of this great forum and thanks to Cassiopeans ,all have helped me very much and i can say it for sure that couldn't make it to this point without all of you so thank you from all of my heart.